As a single woman HELL NO. You tell that married woman something and she will run to tell her husband all your secrets. Like girl I’m friends with you not your damn man why are you telling him my business.
This is so true. My friend would actually come back to me and tell me 'this is the advice my husband wants to give you' like girl I was just talking to you, not him!
That’s true, and so is the hate that married women with rich husband’s get from single women who are struggling!! Money issues breeds hate on both sides!
I was looking for this comment. I had one tell me, she just realised she “didn’t need a man.” Yet, wanted me to babysit and take her to appointments. No Ma’am you absolutely do need a man. The one you married. Just because I’m single, doesn’t mean I’m going to be a surrogate husband. I enjoy my time with myself. When I want that life, it’s going to be with a man, I’ve investigated like the Bureau.
Commodity your relationship, your man, his family, but not me honey or guess what, we are no longer friends. That has happened to me, married women wanted me to be their nanny. For no pay. WHAT? NO. I did not get you pregnant. DEAL WITH IT. Suck it up. Haha. And btw, your man is cheating on you.
I’m a happily married woman and according to single woman I am a liar. It is very annoying cause I happen to be happy in my marriage. I have lost so many friends when THEY got married. I was married first in my group. Hubby and I hanged out with all our single friends- alwasy made time for them, now they got married and dumped us. 🤷🏽♀️😌 these same married couples don’t understand why my hubby and I like to enjoy our life and travel and do things together…ain’t that funny? Jealous because my hubby and I love to do life together. Mad cause we have no major issues in our marriage and STILL 21 years of marriage we living it up together. I can’t speak for everyone - but from what my hubby and I have experienced it is single women and miserable married couples that hate on marriages that are actually doing good. Crazy. This is why hubby and I have no friends. We’re not suppose to be happy married. 🤷🏽♀️🤦🏽Smdh. Our small handful of friends who rock with us- we good. 😊💕all of y’all are haters, single bitter jealous women and miserable married women.
I think that’s more so a byproduct of women and men’s poor decision making in picking a partner than it is about being single. I’m much happier with my partner than I was single because he’s a good man who provides financially, is faithful, handsome, and has a small ego with a big heart. However, men like him are a needle in a haystack among black men so I could see why so many black women are miserable in their relationship.
When married women accuse me or hint at me wanting their man, I tell them in great detail why I would want nothing to do with their specific man and why it would be a backward step for me to engage in a relationship with someone like him and why she is VERY safe. I will describe annoying habits, how he dresses, the stress he has caused her, the way he ignores her, the way he looks at other women, etc. They learn to mind their business. I don't care. Don't disparage my character because you're insecure.
Damn i shouldve did that when my bff said something like i wanted her husband! Gurl that nigga mean as f**k. Aint shit i could do with him & vice versa! Lmao
@@LearnAsYouGo.Both. And i listed why i dont want their poor husband. Oh the rage they gives me. Girl, i can have my own man. Did you see the men that chase me? But you marry that scrub😂.
These same married women will tell single women “iT tAkEs a viLLagE” for free childcare, free counseling and financial assistance while also talking shyt about single women. They really believe they are entitled to single women’s unpaid labor. 😕
THIS ! I politely tell people I am NOT their village . I don’t have kids for a reason . I do not want those responsibilities and I won’t shoulder the burden of someone else’s decision to have children . why do we all have to help raise the children that THEY decided to have and for free ? with barely a thank you in return ? no thank you . I love participating in activities that I enjoy in my free time . I will not be giving that up to babysit so the next person can go enjoy themselves on my behalf 😂
I had a lot of married women around me that looked down their noses at me. My married cousin tries to encourage me to hope for marriage. MeanWhile her husband has cheated, dont really bring in no money and then follows her and listens to her phone calls. Yea girl..i cant wait to get married again!
Just ignore her! It is nobody’s business! Let them yammer into the wind! It’s always heffas with $h!t+y husband trying to “flex.” Just smile and let them yakk! 😊
When married women accuse me or hint at me wanting their man, I tell them in great detail why I would want nothing to do with their specific man and why it would be a backward step for me to engage in a relationship with someone like him and why she is VERY safe. I will describe annoying habits, how he dresses, the stress he has caused her, the way he ignores her, the way he looks at other women, etc. They learn to mind their business. I don't care. Don't disparage my character because you're insecure.
@@peachesandpoetsYep. I say, if married folks bugging singleton ladies why we don’t get married? Answer, “bec we have not seen a husband yet, who makes us want one of our own!” Works the same for folks who badger cf women “when are you going to have a child?” Why don’t you have any kids? Answer: because I haven’t seen anyone’s kids that make me want to have any!😊
Single women give objective advice to their married and single friends. Just don't discuss your relationship with anyone if you don't want to hear the truth. Nobody is trying to get between you and your husbands.
It is context too- your friend may not know eveything about your dude so constantly pointing out the bad in your man sets the picture up in your friends head that he is not a good man.
@@sg5720😂You sound blackistan & ghetto never had these issues since I have never dealt with BM. However, this is a very common theme with black m and the insecure women who worship them. You are insecure because he's already shown you that he won't be faithful & practice self-control 😂😂
A lot of my married friends don’t care about me being single or married. I do think that it’s annoying whenever they bring their partners when we go out. I’m not friends with your partner.
That is annoying. Like dang you can't have a life outside of your husband? We can't have an all girls lunch or dinner meet up without your man LOL SMH!
@@kokopuffs1986 exactly, I bet he has personal time away from home without her and they kids. I don't understand why some married women can't have balance. Just because you're married or in a relationship doesn't mean you throw friendship and sisterhood bonding out the window.
I can’t take these conversations seriously with the way married women act on a regular basis: Constantly complaining about their husband, complaining about not having a village for their kids, complaining about losing their sense of self, hell even having to ask friends for money/help when they have a grown man at home. It’s complaining at the top of their lungs until it’s time to diss single women. A lot of them wanted a ring not marriage.
@@nikkilong7377 Yep. Men keep their friends after they either get married or enter a “serious” relationship! also, they don’t tell their wives or gf all of their “bros” business and tea ☕️ either! 😼
True! I know a married woman who never shows up to anything I invite her to (yet I would always show up for her and her kids) but she said I should invite her out with me so she can get dressed up. That’s what your husband is for. I already know she wouldn’t be able to go in the 1st place. She just wants to be invited (placed on a pedestal).
My take: It's extremely disheartening for me as a single woman to have someone I consider a friend disappear once they get a man or they get married because all that time, I was just a placeholder to them. Their man was the main person they wanted to invest time into. Friends that partner up or get married believe that single woman are man stealers or single women aren't "mature" enough to hang out with them anymore because they aren't partnered. Romantic relationships are considered the pinnacle of human existence and I've come to despise how people in these relationships believe that they only need to rely on their partners for their emotional, mental and social well-being. To me, relying on only one person for all of your needs is unhealthy, but as a single woman, my opinion is discounted as I'm worthless without a man. Now that I'm in my 50's, I don't even bother befriending married women because I'm regarded as a threat. And if a single friend partners up, I distance myself from them unless they've shown that their priorities won't shift to their male partner. I'll only match energy with those who consider me worthy of my time and attention and not as a placeholder.
This is so beautifully stated and so true! Thats what i felt like to my married friend. A placeholder for when they fell out. Then when they was good, i didnt exist anymore.
It blows my mind that people have that mind set! (The negative things your comment was about, I just don't want to reiterate because you said everything perfectly) It disturbs me... I just don't understand why people are so.... Unhinged & DUMB. Just flat out DUMB.
I wonder if this attitude (single vs married women) can’t be friends is more concentrated in the BC (especially ADOS) due to the low marriage rates. Maybe bcos I’m non-ADOS, but I was one of the last to get married in my friend group. Also, I didn’t get into to many rlsps before marriage, so I was generally the single friend even when my friends where in rlsps. My friends never ignored me. We still had friend time and sometimes hung out all together. The only common denominator I can think of is I have never been overly boy crazy or male-identified and majority of my friends are the same way.
Is the question why don't single women support married women? Or Why do married women ill treat their single friends so badly that the single friends stop supporting them?
@@ogolden8315 This isn't everyone for sure, but enough people do this. And this isn't just among Black women in the diaspora. Whyte friends have done the same thing to me. It's a particular mindset that Western or American women have that men are the be all, end all in life. I'm not down with it as I decentered men after I ended my last relationship nine years ago and don't mess with male-centered women these days.
I think some married women can be terrified of what we (single, childfree) represent. We embody their ultimate fear of being alone and not ‘needed’. They can be also be resentful of our freedom and paranoid that we will steal their husband. For people in secure and happy marriages this isn’t even a thought. And maybe married women should stop complaining about their husbands to their single friends if they don’t want to hear any opinions 😂
I was that single child free friend. I always felt a sense of resentment from coupled women with kids. Also they were always trying to set me up with their relatives. It was a weird experience
A friend was complaining to me how her husband was telling her she "better get fixed cause he need 5-6 kids". He said this to her after she got a c section to have her baby. Her husband was telling her "well don't use that c section as an excuse to not have kids cause I'll have 5-6 kids so you better get better already for it" I blurted out "is your husband a savage barbarian or what?" She immediately started defending the piece of sh!t
@@crestfire8008😳 jeez, sounds like the type of dude who could get violent if she tried to leave too 😬 Can’t pretend I’ve never accepted poor treatment from men in the past but I’ve never put up with aggression, control and violence.
As a solo woman for a long time. I dont look at someones husband/partner as potential. Our friendship transcends that, its very weird that married people think their single friend would cheat. Trust is a central part of a friendship. Married women think being marriage is a flex, same for having children. People can live in any way they choose. We should support all lifestyles.
Yeah! Me and my d9 sisters of 30+ yrs don’t talk husbands or men. Nobody cares. We just ask general how is “Bill and the kiddies.” That it. Then we move on to more interesting topics. A couple of yrs ago, “Eric,” the husband had to have long life threatening surgery. One of us went to sit with our sis during the surgery since she and husband don’t live near relatives. We not concerned with the details of their business and being Nosey!
Marriage IS a beautiful thing.......with the right person. toooo many ppl marry for the wrong reasons. Some (not all) women marry just to say they got picked. Some (not all) Men marry to have a bitch at home, while they run the streets with who they really want to be with.
I had a friend who was married, at that time i was leaving with my baby daddy. So many time she told me that she could not be friend with a single woman. My relationship was going soo bad and my companion was abusing me in every way possible, whenever i was asking her advice or support, she was telling me to stay strong "this is how marriage is". When i was fed up with all that miserable life, i decided to go. She was so disapointed with me that she refuses to testify again my partner as the only witness i had when he tried to litteraly kill me. This broke my heart much more than the abuse of my partner. While all my other married friends came in to rescue me, she was telling them that i am not patient, I could have wait for my child to grow up. Today she belong to my past.(Sorry for my english, i am francophone from France 🙂). Bisou
I noticed a divide in my friend group when a lot of friends got married straight out of college. They really talked down to the single friends and segregated themselves. A decade later, all of them got divorced and came running back to hang out with the single friends again. My mom acts like this too. She got remarried and is always fronting on Facebook, but is stressed behind the scenes cause her husband cheats and tricks off their money to other women. Yet she tries to shame me for NOT wanting to get married.
I had a married friend asking me for everything, including asking me to get a rental car for her husband. He was using her, and she was using me, I left her alone once I figured it out.
@@FoundSheep-AN Clearly he wasn’t cause he was a bum. A straight 🤡 she found off the street smh . I just knew the friend ship was over and she was desperate.
A lot of married women were so desperate to not be single so why would they care about not having the support of single women. They joined the married women club so they should have built-in support.
@@Laoriginal718I’m saying! I have a couple of married friends and they never try to “burden” me with their issues, but I’m always happy to listen and offer any insight that I can even as a single woman. I’m for marriage not against it!
Imagine being in a relationship with a man that can be "stolen" or leaving a "good man" over something your friend said.🙄 How dreadful. I support those who support Me and others, no matter what phase of life I Am In.
There’s a lot of women that are married that think they’re better than their friends or that the friendship is over due to them being married. Real friendships withstand all types of obstacles and your friends lifestyle doesn’t always need to fit your narrative. I don’t influence my friends relationships and we can still hang out.
And a lot of women just want the ring ands are in miserable marriages but expect their single friends to support that nonsense. Also a lot of married women pillow talk with their spouse.
Free 🆓 yourselves from being concerned if somebody thinks they are better than you. That is THEIR problem! They are dumb! You are BOMB af even if somebody thinks they are better! Let them enjoy their own delusions! 🎉
And a lot of single women be jealous that their married friend got a man and really happy.. because we all know that ALL women who are married are not miserable..
I separate my single friends and my married friends. As a single woman myself I know my place. When they need to be home or when their husband calls it's my duty to stay out of it and let them go to their family.
I think the worst place for single childfree woman hate is in the workplace. Married women and men feel entitled to treat them as less than , especially when it comes to vacation requests and who should do extra work or overtime because a single womans "time is not as valuable....." they hate hearing about your fun life after work or vacations while they cry over their husband disrespecting them AGAIN😂
I’m single and cf, but at my job, I have a butt- ton more annual leave than the married folks and the baby mamas! They ain’t got the leave to take off, anyway. I’m always “ harassing” the supervisor with my leave requests! The married folks/ppl with kids don’t hardly have any annual leave. 😹 Or they “hoard” it for unforeseen stuff with kids etc.😢
Lost my ex male bestie when he married the lady I introduced him to. The second they married, she looked at me like I wanted to steal her husband, who was my best friend for over a decade.
I told my husband, my male bestie comes with the territory. If you want to marry me, he doesn’t go anywhere. Naturally, he’s respectful of my marriage, but it’s wild to think that friends of the opposite sex HAVE to be attracted to each other. 🤦🏽♀️
Same thing with a male friend I had, his new girlf HATED me on sight and that was that. Apparently they’re both awful people now lol, heard that from a mutual married friend.
I felt so lucky (and I shouldn’t have to, its a weird thing to feel lucky about) both my best guy friends are with other guys because I was honestly terrified of this happening for the longest, especially because every adult from teachers to my mom said opposite sex friendships can’t survive marriage 😢
When I was hired as an HR manager, my boss paid for me to have one-on-one training sessions with a SAHM. At the time I was in my early 20s and instead of the lady actually training me, she said I was a “high value”, “natural” woman who needed to marry an “older high value man” before 30, or else I would end up “alone forever” and stay a “single wh0re”. At the time, my body count was one from a prior long-term relationship and her whole rant was triggered by me stating I was excited to improve myself and my career. I was so stunned, I just looked into her tired, 32-year-old eyes and her toddler crawling all over her, and said “thank you for your ancestral wisdom”. I quit a month later. The fuck. What’s crazy is that’s not the first married couple to think I was some 304 out to get them. I learned what “art heaux” meant from an engaged lady who said I fit the aesthetic bc I liked to cosplay. Turns out, she and her husband were swingers looking for a unicorn. These ppl don’t know what they want, which is why they’re projecting onto single women who have a clearer understanding of freedom of choice. If anything, these folks have encouraged me to stay single, travel, and mingle however and whenever I want, child free and happy 😂🎉❤ ✌🏾
Modern society destroyed traditional marriages. Traditional roles no longer make sense to most western people today, so we have 2 people getting married cuz it seems right, but they're not a match, struggling to figure out who does what in the household.
@@Brothapocalypse you're right 👍 Traditional marriages no longer makes sense to modern society, males are no longer fighting war and disappearing quicker like back in day's. Women back in the days where becoming widows and were getting inheritance within 2-3 years of marriage. Life expectancy of males was lot less than males these days. Males these days are asking for 50-50 dusty relationship while asking for traditional roles from women without fulfilling any of his role of providing and disappearing sooner in wars 🤭💀 that's why modern day's marriages is scam for most women
@roxyortiz8819 Actually, like every other history lie, your feminist overlords exaggerated or lied about women before the 1950s 😂 There were modern women with multiple baby daddies way back then too (look up the "Dirty Duchess" among many examples). Most women back then actually wanted to be traditional wives because they knew how tough it is on their own. Don't lie to yourself. But hey, you're free to be single until the lights go out 😁
My best freind is married and has been for over a decade we don’t have these issues but they are right a lot of married women treat single women terrible and a lot of them do u think single women want their husbands and I’m not a single mother don’t have kids so girl sit down everybody situation is different
@goddessakina girl, isn't that the truth. They are un-aliving us like crazy. The femaside rates are to the moon b/c of their fragile egos. They are making RU-vid public service announcements about un-aliving us. I just simply can't be with them. Now that I know better , I do better..
Love all the stitches! They spoke all my thoughts! Also notice this entitled hierarchical behaviour, that single women need to support married women but there is no reciprocation? Its the same with women with children at times.
I am still not completely sure what “support” for married women entails if women in general “support” each other as women? What are these married women complaining about? What “special” support do they need from women men who support women?
Why do some married women think that their single friend wants their man? Like there has to be a reason that they feel so worried or insecure right. Maybe their man has given them a reason to feel worried when he’s around single women 🤔🤔. *Not everyone wants your husband*
@@77kc_77 Righr cuz there must be a reason to feel so insecure unless maybe their friend is a home wrecker. But then again you shouldn’t be friends with a home wrecker.
this . I had to distance myself from a friend because she swore up and down everyone wanted her husband and every friend she fell out with was just jealous
@cakepopfrosting6148 a lot of times those men pursue women because their whores and get caught happened to me. I stay clear of men and these insecure wives
This is a thing? Aww man 🥺 and here I am looking for friends, single or married. I would never tell or look down my nose at a single woman, and I've been ball and chained for 12 yrs. My husband and i do our own thing. Quite the opposite, i don't have married friends because they always want to be up under their husband. Example: me: Hey girl, let's go to brunch, lunch, dinner, on the boat, shoot pool, drive to Miami, go to the fair, meet me at this bar, come with me to my orchid club meeting. Married woman: chile, I can't right now. My husband and I are doing XYZ, I don't have time for ABC. The kids LMNOP... While I sit and watch my husband enjoy life with his homeboys and ive noticed, their girlfriends or wives, they do nothing but sit at home. I even asked some to come over, sip some wine and make some crafts with me. Maybe im the weirdo 🤪
Most of my women friends are married. But the caveat is that I do not hang around their husbands. It’s hi and bye when I see/talk to them. And my friends know… do not talk to me about their relationships and I don’t ask. We have way more in common than men, and I’m not their therapist. It’s also funny that people think that all single women do is party. Meanwhile, I’m in the house watching documentaries and eating tacos.
Not only that. If the husband is abusive and wishes to isolate his wife from you, her single bff, he’ll just say you came on to him and you won’t be friends anymore. Or he might be the one coming onto you, her single girlfriend, and you keep resisting his advances but she catches him forcing a kiss on you and assumes that you wanted it, or you tell her he came on you but she doesn’t believe you, she believes his version that you came up to him and twerked on to him. And now she’s mad at you, calling you a slut who’s trying to steal her man. It’s just too much drama! Women who aren’t married or who’s husband is on very long trips away from home (gone for months at a time) like military or fishermen, are not invited to couples’ parties for this reason. Wives are insecure in their husband’s fidelity.
I had to break up with one of my married friends. She was so draining and so invested in single women’s lives, with sprinkle of condescension and superiority. She also did this fake pity thing for single women. It was weird.
Yes to all the stitches as a happily single woman!😊 And its not only the married 'friends', but also some married women/ girlfriends who you happen to pass by. At the grocery store, I've had married women glare at me as if I'm going to snatch their ugly husband when I'm just minding my business and passing to get to the rice.🙄
I think the core problem is that a lot of these women know they married the wrong person and they want their circle to ignore it. They want to move along with a man that they know their friends are not okay with but want them to support their relationship in silence. But when they go silent for real, it's a problem. Chile...pls.🙄
THIS!!!! the saddest thing about it is they are ostracizing themselves with their behavior as if divorce can't happen or death and you find yourself being ostracized by the same women who you were dissing others with.
I fell out with a married friend, who use to confide in me about her marital issues (all red flags that sound like he’s cheating), because he wouldn’t stop talking about me after meeting me at a family & friends cruise 🚢 . She accused me of trying to be center of attention to be seen by him. Gurl get TF out of my face.
Baby you my time of girl cause yea and you nicer than me cause “BITCH get the entire fuck out my face “ don’t play with me play with yo kids or in traffic. Like 😂I’m ignorant like that. I’m not the one or the two for this non sense
Going through a best friend "breakup" after 25 years. We pinky promised as little girls that we would never let a man get between us in any way. Now that shes engaged and planning her wedding she doesn't want me around, she switched up and started acting like I was some man eater when I consistently communicated to her that I was focusing on my journey in womanhood and wanted nothing to do with men. She kept trying to play matchmaker, ignored my feelings and got mad that I wasn't catering to the man she chose for me. I ended up snapping and cursing her out bad. I dont know how to process it all. All I wanted and still want is to have sisterhood. I miss my soul sis, I truly do. I want to be there for her and to grow together but she couldn't see that all she saw was the future with her man. When I was engaged I didnt get into any of this mess with them. Being on different journeys doesnt mean yoy cant be friends. What to do. 😢💔
You can never be friends with married women because their devotion is to their responsibilities, husband, family and single women are on a seperate journey
I know women that are not "allowed" to hang out with me, because I am single. Like, what am I going to do to the wife? Bake you cookies and invite you on a walk with my dog?
When I separated from my abusive husband, my "best friend's" husband didn't want her hanging out with me and my child. She also said her mother told her not to trust me alone with her husband. She told me these things herself. Why would I want her husband when she was borrowing money from me regularly? When she was complaining about him, regularly? Long story short: Her mother was cheating on her father (rumored that it was the brother-in-law 😮), and her husband was exposed as a serial cheater 😂. I'm not even going to mention the side eye I got from the "saintly" church married women. All I was trying to do was save myself and our child from abuse. I prayed, and we prospered. Amen!
I don’t make friends with married women because I KNOW not think.. I know that the only reason to get married in this day in age is to be able to brag to single women about your marital status… that’s IT! So I’m not giving them that satisfaction. Go brag to your other married friends, it won’t be as fun though. 😂
Exactly! My sister likes to act as if she's all that just because she married the first loser who knocked her up out of high school. Her husband can barely provide for their family because he's lazy and lacks any ambition to get educated and pursue a career. The disrespect he shows my sister in front of me and her daughters is absolutely appalling. The funny part is finding out he was actually interested in me first, but must have realized he didn't stand a chance since my standards were high. As the years go by, I realize more and more just how much of a bullet I've dodged, especially since my younger sister looks older than me.
Well that seems reductive. The only reason? Nah. Far from it. Most married women don't care about bragging, and they don't care about what anyone else thinks about their marriage, their single friends included. Usually they have been single together with their single friends at some point! Most married women also get/got married for love and marriage. Some of you are starting to make similar statements about women as many men are. All women this, no single women that, married women all etc. I'm single, but I'd love to get married. And I sure am not looking to do so for some status. What status does marriage even have nowadays? Very little.
Yes, unless we grew up together and I know your husband's character, he and I are not friends. I learned that young. Even on social media, I decline requests from husbands because I'm friends with your wife, not you.
They said it ALL.. my girlfriend of almost 15 years literally just ghosted me .. then when he just left she wanted to renew the friendship.. girl bye 👋🏾..
I needed to hear this. My bff would call me ALL the time to vent about her dust ass baby daddy and how she's not happy with her life/choices, how she hates him, etc.. I gave her ALL the help I could so she could leave him, but guess what? She still with him and is now pregnant with baby #2. I don't see her as much because she spends her time home with him and the kid and/or his family. When I invite her here and there, she always cancels or has to see what HE says. I'm done.
A lot of married women make being married their entire personality and come to single women with their marital problems then still stay with the dude, on top of that they tell their husbands YOUR private conversations that don’t have anything to do with their relationship.
This is true, I had a co-worker who was married and confessed this to me. I always lied to her about my business because the way she dissed her single sister was horrible.
Before I got married I had a strong support group of women, when I got married my husband told me to ask my friends for help, I yelled at him and got so mad, I have a man, that’s your job. He was a user and I was married for my earning power so I didn’t realize it till later. When I divorced I was thriving and married women would ask me for help, I couldn’t do it, you lay with a man and then need someone else, and another woman at that. No Mam! That’s what’s he’s for. You should be embarrassed to ask for help with a man around.
My friend group is a mix of never been married women, married women, divorced women, and remarried women. None of those titles make us a good or a bad influence. Instead, our individual morals and values will make us a good or a bad influence.
I don’t envy any of my partnered or married friends because they aren’t even happy in their relationships. The stuff they deal with sounds like hell to me. Single ladies if any married woman tries to say that you’re jealous of her marriage please be sure to let her know that you can’t want or be jealous a bad situation. As Jordyn Woods said “I don’t want your situation” aka your man ain’t no prize! If my partnered or married friends complain about their relationships to me I just say “y’all should try couples counseling”. 🤷🏾♀️
It was never that serious honestly. People are too busy with “non-career building, non-personal growth, non-maturing mess”. Im from Kenya originally & I’ve seen toxic masculinity at its finest with some of these marriages especially watching relatives including my parents. I’m single & if the married women want to stay away from me that’s perfectly fine with me! I’ve been able to make soooo much personal and financial progress ALONE becoz there’s no man checking me, stressing me with nonsense. I loooove sleeping 😴 so I get to sleep in. No dirty drawers or socks to trip on walking to bathroom… and many many more daily annoyances . Yes I miss cuddling in bed, I miss a man I can 💯 put my faith & trust in but until I meet the right person I’m focusing on my journey.
Hi....I'm from Nairobi too....glad to see someone speaking on the girls thinking everyone wants her man when in reality we're just glad that someone took one for the team😂
They seek affirmation and validation. They want you to say ''omg you're so lucky to have him'', even if we think he's an a-hole. Like why are you complaining to me if you don't want me to tell you you're right? I guess reality is too hard to swallow. My friend is pregnant and she keeps talking about her pregnancy, sending me videos of the baby room and explaining that she's organizing everything, showing me where she's gonna sit when feeding her baby at night, etc. Like, sorry girl but I don't care. And I don't want kids so you won't see me fuss over the idea of babies or be able to give proper advices either.
@@beigenegress2979 Yeah I keep my answers short, because no matter how much I think about it, I just don't feel like I could give the genuine answer she's looking for.
Married women want someone to admire them because they aren't admirable. Their husbands don't glorify them so now single women must worship them. On the flip side, I don't glorify single women who have boyfriends or are sleeping around because they want their relationship to be respected as something honorable which it isn't. Be friends with friendly people but don't worship anyone.
As a single woman with no kids, all the "friends" who have ever treated me poorly just happened to be those who got married and the poor treatment just escalated when they had kids. I literally couldn't offer any constructive feedback without it being interpreted as me being jealous of their marriage or husband or kids or family, and it hurt me because these are people that I genuinely enjoyed having friendships with. I actually have one almost have a fight with me because I kept saying "if I get married or have kids" and she kept insisting that I must get married and I must have kids. Not everyone gets married or has kids, and that's okay. As soon as a friend gets engaged, I usually start cooling the bond down and giving them space because it'll always happen. I still will always wish them well. Always. Just not in my space.
She's right about things aren't always what they seem. We've seen it time and time again. Some married couples post these lovey-dovey pictures on social media (#couplegoals🙄)and then they always end tragically!
I stay out my married friends business. I dont encourage anything negative towards their marriage but they want me to be married so bad and refuse to let me be single in peace lol. I went to my married friends house for a get together and they got into an argument. When i got home i closed my door and said thank god for my peace lol
I’m glad someone said it! My friends don’t let me be single in peace either! Of course I’d love to have a good partner but I’m not pressed thinking about it every moment of my life, I refuse to date online bc I feel like I’m selling myself and my friend said to me the other day your 38 you wanna be single at 48! And I was low key annoyed like you more worried than me
The crazy part is I have not once complained about being single but I have expressed how I am happy in my current space. I don't know if people think I'm lying or what lol. Sometimes I think in their mind life isn't worth living while single and they project that idea on me. I wonder if they feel sorry for me or something. Meanwhile I'm good lol
Lol idc about married women. None of them have treated me any type of way. I’d just read them for filth. She let her marriage fail… women lack accountability it’s annoying.
“wOmeN LaCk AcCoUNtAbiLiTy” yall love saying this and you sound dumb every single time. Then yall cry and blame women for everything under the sun. Women take the MOST accountability for everything because yall blame them for everything. THAT’S Annoying!
It's Not That Confusing Once You Take Into Consideration Most Married Women Are Male-Centered Whereas Most Single Women Find Their Comfort/Wisdom In Solitude...
I had to post a 2nd comment because as a single woman, I avoid hanging with married people after I saw all my married friends cheating with each other swapping spouses. It was so messy and I was shocked how cut throat they were sneaking around. They all knew it too. I don't participate in mess like that.
This is ridiculous. I am married and my best friend is single and we still hang out from time to time because we live one city apart. Marriage dirty laundry is simply a no-tell to anyone because my husband isn't abusive and we just have the usual married people arguments...and for privacy reasons. My best friend also shares her dates and relationships and it's just like that. No preaching, no nosey pants, just hanging out like we used to (we're introverts so clubs and huge crowds are no go for us). We respect our boundaries and can still function a healthy friendship. Not everything should be extreme.
Thank you! Lol I have single friends didn’t matter that I am marrried We talk about things we usually discuss prior to me being married The regular relationship nonsense is kept to myself and or at a minimum cause who gaf
Every time I go on a date, the married women at my job are ALL in my business. They all jokingly say “I’m living vicariously through you.” Starting to think it’s not that much of a joke.
Single lady friend here with married friends. My sisters were my sisters before they got married. My job is to remind her of who she is apart from their husbands and children. I make sure to remind them of their dreams and their hobbies and help them get out of their mom/ wife mind when with me. If they express difficulty in their marriage, I stop them and ask, "did they discuss it with their husband yet." If they didn't, I urge them to and to speak to older married ladies about it. Now, there are some married women who legit treat you like an enemy instead of a friend. I allow them to leave my life easy because I don't have time for it. I'm very logical with my friends all while honoring healthy marriage/ partnerships. I don't always take my married gal friend's sides because I'm pro marriage and will always check whose wrong and advise them to work it out. I don't do cheating or cheating light behaviors and will tell the spouse (friend or not) to tell their spouse or I will.
I love all of this. I don’t do cheating either and will distance myself if they start cheating but I’m not going to tell their spouse. That’s not my place
I used to attend a Nigerian Church. The married couples would come in all the time, apparently loved up. One Sunday, the Pastor called a meeting for all the married men after Church. I remained in the sanctuary because I was helping pack up the Church equipment. The Pastor proceeded to say that she is receiving too many complaints from their wives that they are BEATING them. She told them that they had to stop otherwise she could not continue asking them to bear with them.... Many of these people are LYING about being happily married. And they are so desperate to portray some kind of superiority...
I always believed taken/married women can be friends w/ single women, but idk anymore. No one can make a grown man do what he doesn’t want, HE married YOU, and if he’s still acting like he’s single that’s an in-house problem. I can’t stand ppl (women) who give more grace to men wreaking havoc in their life, than the girlfriends who aren’t. Doing the worst PR for marriage.
I don't see any benefit to married women being friends with single women they never take the advice you give them and their husband's should be supporting them mentally , emotionally, financially, etc
What support did the married woman want from other women? What is the support from women that she is not getting? Why does marital status matter when women “support” women? I really want to know about what different support married women need vs general support for women?
A lot of women in “committed” relationships are terrible friends to have. I had to drop 2 so called friends in the past couple of months because of their man. When they’d call to complain I’d let them and keep my opinions to myself only for them to get annoyed I didn’t have any opinions. Then when I’m honest with my opinions all of a sudden I don’t know what I’m talking about and it’s not that easy. Then when things aren’t going well for them and their relationships they expected my life to stop. It was like me enjoying life, accomplishing my goals, and having my own issues was a personal attack to them. I had to completely walk away when one kept acting like I was supposed to hold her hand through everything after “her man” left her broke. And the other one because she kept attacking my character after “her man” left her broke and pregnant.
I'm divorced now, but I can say that when I hung out with my single friends, they were lively and positive. When I hung out with my married friends, all they talked about was their problems; husbands bs, kids bs, and burn out. So yeah, understand that marriage can be wonderful, but in spurts. My message to single women who have never been married... Make it an option, not a priority because men benefit more from marriage. Don't get married thinking your better off than single women because he WILL surprise you.
Ooo I love what you said about making marriage an option and never a priority. I feel that’s why I never been the woman to “pray “ for a man cause when and if it’s supposed To happen it will. The Latin word for pray is beg anyway. I don’t support the narrative of I prefer to be single or willingly want to be single because that’s not my truth and I do desire love and companionship so I sing going that far lol 😂. But to make an option and not a priority is so dope to me
Honey these married man are out here acting single while they in a full blown marriage with kids. Who the hell wants to marry a lying cheater. These man can’t be trusted. I love my single life. Toodles 😁
They bluntly disrespect their wives to get in my panties had to block 2 men one still married the other just divorced. I've checked more married men then wives have with their no good husband's
Single women aren’t trying to be their therapist and have to hear about their unhappy marriages. Single women aren’t getting the same support they give their married friends concerning their lives and relationships. Cue Kandice Kelly with the truth.❤😂 I love the way she says your huzzband.😂 The lady after Kandice came with the full court press exposure and realness. Marriage is a prison for some women and they are jealous of single women.
My mom's friend (single) introduced herself to another woman who moved into her apartment. The lady straight up told her that she's married and she didn't want to be associating with "random women"
The looking down on single women is the saddest thing about it all. Idk how many women have looked down and even discredited me because im not married, and i dont know how because i dont have a partner or im dumb because I havent figured out the secret ingredient like they have.
Before “c,” me and d9 sisters from college days used to get together for brunch every quarter. After asking how their families are doing, kids etc., we don’t even talk about their husbands! Once they say their husband and kids are good, we move on and talk about what we talk about! Some of us never got married (me), some still married (we know their husbands bec they been together for years) some divorced, some remarried! Chile! We don’t talk about the “huzzban!” A couple of yrs ago, a d9 sis husband was in surgery for a life-threatening reason who lives in NJ. One of us drove to her to wait with her and comfort her during her husband’s hours long surgery to support her. That’s it. That is all. We don’t sit around discussing ppl marriages.
Nah, married women take us for granted, while acting all superior. We're supposed to be here for them when they need us, and we need be understanding as to why they can't ever return the favour. We can't expect anything from them because "well [I'm] married/I have a family". And they repeat *everything* you say to their husbands.
No ways. No one is THAT busy. They're just a bad friend. I always joke that when I'm married I will use my man as an excuse to get out of doing stuff but I would NEVER take it that far as to not reciprocate the good others do for me. That's messed up.
One of my salonists is in an abusive marriage. She works but doesn't have a phone and the number she has us book appointments through there's always some guy cursing me out on it then hanging up so I have to go round through her siblings. I wanted to drop her a long time ago but my mother kept mollifying me into staying. The other day I got a different salonists and she was wonderful: finally my mother understood the unnecessary burden she's been having us carry of a marriage we aren't even a part of. I'm not carrying that burden for anyone.
Yes it could also be dangerous for you to be around her, or involved in a situation that is so hostile/volatile..even if only as a client. You never know what's going to happen. Glad you found a new stylist!
I decided years ago that as a single woman, I will never 👎🏿 have a friend that’s married or in a relationship. We can chat sometimes on the phone but nothing more.
I'm married but I support my single friends whether they want to eventually get married or choose to stay single. Luckily I live my life as an autonomous person so I still hang out and go on girls trips. Heck I say enjoy your life. I tell them that there could be a Mr. Wonderful out there but most are Mr. Ok, Mr. Will do, Mr. Toxic and Mr. Worthless.
It’s not that I don’t want to support all women, but I know so many that think there is something wrong with me for not pining after every man I come across. So many have settled for the bare minimum or even less and it’s sad.
I haven’t gotten through this video yet, but my college girlfriends who were part of my wedding are single and not like that. But that’s because my friends don’t suck. Trying to “steal” someone’s husband has zero to do with being single. It has all to do with character because married women could go after your husband too. 🤷🏽♀️ What I don’t like is this idea that my life is “perfect,” and I got the “last good one” because they tell me about the dating pool. And I try to school them about marriage myths, but they want the fantasy. One of them even told me, let us just think that. 😮 Girl, you’ve been warned. Marriage is NOT easy. That’s my only issue with two of my single friends. That kind of thinking is a setup.
Thank you for this. Funny, I just posted on social media that married friends will never tell you this, but they wish they were single because they see how much fun we have, lol!! I realize this now that I have gotten older. I can tell my miserable married friends wish they had my fabulous single life, and when I get a man, he won't be a scrub!
You think marriage is a flex??? Let me tell you something, I AM THE FLEX. I do not do anyone's laundry but mine. I make my money and I KEEP my money. No one is cheating, no one is gaslighting me, no one is hitting me, no one is not picking up the slack at home, no one is ignoring me. I have choice, I have free time, I have my own priorities. I am not envious of you. And if you need to shame us single women, check your own life. It must not be perfect. If it was, you would not be stressing, projecting, or judging.