It's challenging because you never know what ulterior motives exist. I'd be lying if I said I didn't make at least 2 genuine friends from work, though, whom I'm still friends with after we've gone separate ways from our previous employer. I appreciate you watching and commenting!
Learned this the hard way at my previous employer. Going into a new workplace grateful for all of the lessons I’ve learned. I know better so imma do better 🙏🏽💪🏽
"Your co-workers are not your friends" I've learned this the hard way, I experience people talking behind my back after opening up about my life during my first job, and it affected my work performance. Cuz of this it really change how I interact with my coworkers in my new job. 🤦♂️
This sounds like a disgusting, immature, and problematic work environment because is not high school, this is a work environment, people that make a work environment toxic like this either need to be fired or they need to grow the fuck up
We spend 70% of the day at work, sadly in that environment. Probably 10% of colleagues are your friends, 70% are neutral, and 20% just want to completely ruin you due to jealousy, ego or just stupidity.
@@immaculateorganicsoaps3533 Never let them know you don't like them. Sometimes you have to ease your hand from the lions mouth. Remember to set boundaries that you can control. Easy day!
I could not agree more with you :) Cover your back be extra careful. I m too nice I have had many bad surprises. Never more ( I do hope so:) ) Take care
I’m sorry you had a bad experience. Hopefully you can use it as a lesson and surround yourself with a few people who positively impact your life and vice versa 💜
There are no friends at work as many don't care about you. From experience, a lot care about themselves and never want you to succeed. I don't share anything about my life any more whether it's personal or professional as it got me in trouble in the past. People at work that say they are your friend, are pretty much enemies in disguise and already stabbing you in the back without you knowing it. Never trust anyone and always be confident and trust yourself.
We live in a sick world filled with virtue signalers and liars masking their intentions by displaying good deeds. The last place you want to make friends with is within the workforce. I go to work just to do the task I am assigned and to get my weekly salary. The corporate work is a sick environment where you have to be politically correct and walk on eggshells with ppl that you have no close or personal ties with.
Great points! I don’t go to work to make friends or enemies. I’m just there to do my job, do it well, and go home. However, I’ve met some lifelong wonderful unexpected friends at my jobs in the past, but I didn’t start my jobs looking for friends. My reputation was always very important to me and I wanted to protect it. Unfortunately once you get a certain reputation you are boxed in especially if it’s negative.
Thank you! I do the same. It’s great if I make friends at work, but it’s never the main objective. Reputations are difficult to build back up so it’s best to be cautious. I appreciate you watching!
Someone I used to work with sent me a Facebook friend request today because their old one got hacked. But I denied it. I tried to be friends initially with this person, but they aren’t cool. I learned my lessons hanging out with coworkers.
Be careful of coworkers that want to steal your job. My coworker was asking how I do my job on a certain assignment. I gave her the notes. But then she asked if she could do the assignment even though the manager didn’t request it. I told her she could practice on a fake test server and she never responded. She clearly tried to steal my assignment. Watch out for people that do this. Especially when they word their emails nicely. These type of coworkers often cannot get promotions because they don’t have any innovative tasks. So they look for people to undercut and try to get credit for it.
You shouldn’t feel bad! I know a number of people who thrive working that way. Never feel ashamed to have a live outside of work, it’s actually a very healthy mindset.
omg! Same here! I'm so sick of office gossip and backstabbing. No matter what job I work at, it keeps happening and so when I just keep to myself, I'm ignored and treated like crap because I'm not participating in their drama.
Very sound advice. I have made unexpected friendships from past jobs which resulted in me being a bridesmaid at a friend’s wedding, which was great. But I agree that not everyone is going to stick around for more than a season. I’m 32 so most people I know are parents, married, health ailments, emotional battles, etc so people are all in different mental spaces and living different lives right now. I’ve hung out with people where I felt like a friendship but as soon as I no longer worked for the company the relationship just fizzled out along with it, which naturally happens. I don’t take it personally and it is what it is. But I keep to myself at work and I’ve been intentional with not sharing with too much people. I’ve been dating almost a year and my coworker does not know I’m in a relationship from till this day. I treat them exactly as it is... my coworker at my job. We don’t talk about our weekend .. nothing lol.
LOL at not even weekends. It seems to be the consensus that work needs to be work first and if a friendship blossoms, great. If not, no love lost. Thank you for watching and sharing!
It’s one thing if the team mutually agrees to that mindset (which RARELY happens) and another when it’s forced by management smh. Hopefully your manager didn’t pressure that family mindset or shame people who are there to literally do their jobs and go home.
Okay I’m about to start a new, entry level career based job and one of the supervisors/directors like to think of the company/organization as a family but I’m not that kind of person...how do I manage???
First, congratulations! Second, that’s tough but I’d say go in open-minded because it may not be what it seems regarding the family mindset. Sometimes companies try and put their best foot forward in the interview. It’s fine to be friendly and cordial but don’t be afraid to leave on time or decline after work events. You can say you have prior plans or family to attend to... OR just say good evening because your life outside of work is nobody’s business lol
I work at a company, I should’ve learn this earlier. I was so vulnerable cause idk I thought everyone was friendly. But then after working after months they always gossip, and are jealous of people. Mostly like take advantage of people, because they are so lazy. I think their lives is so miserable they just talk too much at work, and they just not pay attention at work. Lol
I don't make friends with my colleagues too. After a really bad experience trying to make friends with colleagues that really scarred me, I decided to keep it professional. I'm friendly and supportive, but I don't get too social at work because I don't want to get distracted or get too emotionally attached to them. They are friends to an extent, but never to the full extent because I don't hang out after work.
I'm so sorry about your bad experience. Hopefully you haven't had any similar experiences since. It's always best to be cautious and professional. Thanks for watching and sharing your experience!
@@TheYoungBlackProfessional you're welcome and thank you for making this video and spreading the important message. With my new job (which I've had for over three years) everything is going great and I have professional relations with my colleagues. Might not be invited to lunch or after work activities, but I'm happy I have a job!
I like keeping "professional distance". I really view my coworkers as "chess pieces" and not as actual human beings. It's all just a "game" where everybody is out to get you. Coworkers will stab you in the back at any given moment if it monetarily suits them. They're are just inanimate objects to me now. To me, coworkers are like pieces of furniture at the store as I casually walk on by. THAT'S how I view my coworkers. Just cold, barren and lifeless objects who I barely acknowledge. It's best to isolate yourself from everyone at work and only talk to them about work-related matters. My new motto at work is now "Trust No One". Everyone is out to get you in this cold and evil world.
I don't consider colleagues my friends. I've seen gossiping, backbitting, pettiness, passive aggressive behavior & the list goes on. I deal with colleagues for business/ work related purposes. I had a former colleague that I considered a friend , once I left the company we had a falling out & we no longer interact with each other. There is only a chosen few that I fuck with on a personal level or even give my phone number to. I don't tell my colleagues on my team any of my personal business, vacation information, ect. One of my colleagues I have a good interactions with her, but now I see I can't tell her certain information, I've had 1 or 2 incidents where she repeated what I said to other colleagues. Now I'm more cognisant of not telling her personal information.
It’s hard when you think you’re friends and when you leave they want nothing to do with you so I’m with you. I’m always very selective about who I choose to interact with outside of work. Good luck with that current colleague, and thanks for watching!
@@TheYoungBlackProfessional Most definitely it was a lesson learned, be careful who you call a friend, confidant or an associate. New subbie, let me know if you would like recommendations for new topics to discuss on your channel.
It's tough, my best friend i met at Work, He and I connected from Day 1 and it was a connection that we didn't plan or expect but our workplace started a fruitful friendship i haven't had in decades and i am grateful for that, it's not about boxing in your environment, its simply about people- REGARDLESS of the environment if you connect and click with someone the rest will naturally take its course and there's nothing wrong with that, let it happen.
I agree, there are some people you naturally connect with and form genuine bonds. Two of my close friends are friends I met at work. I think the moral is to be cautious and know that the first priority is your job and forging friendships can come after (or alongside) that. Thank you for watching and sharing your thoughts!
@@TheYoungBlackProfessional wonderful sage advice 👌. Being cautious is wise and to keep things strictly work related and leave your personal life private. We NEVER know who we can truly trust but also be open to the possibility that you can form a genuine connection without expecting it🤗.
These are hard lessons, I had to learn the hard way. I try not to talk to people because I don’t want to get hurt knowing that there friendliness is just that. Hurtful truth, but it’s all done for protection
Way to test this theory: Say you need help with something personal, could be nearly anything, ask someone you think might be your 'friwnd' at work, if they say no, your position is confirmed
I would also add, that the social service field is a" snake - pit" of toxic personalities who are driven by the mentality that you described so eloquently.... I once walked away from a job situation in the past that was absolutely toxic . I have no regrets.... You are correct that one must be strategic when navagating whatever career environment we are in, because sharks are always swimming around ....
I think you guys in the US need to fight for some workers' rights. It is simply unethical for an employer to be able to dismiss an employee at any time, without proper motivation.
It's not in all fields of work or companies that this exists but I think a lot of people accept it and continue on. Not at all saying it's right or fair, but until enough people feel that way it may not change any time soon. Where are you from and what's work-life there? Also, thanks for watching!
@@TheYoungBlackProfessional I am from Romania and work-life is kind of decent. The salaries are low. But on the other hand, the legislation is pretty protective of employees. For example there are only four situation when an employee can be fired. 1.they are arrested 2.they are anitsocial (violent etc.) 3.they are not profesionally suit for the job 4.their health doesn't allow them to do the job BUT in situations 3. and 4., dismissing an employee is complicated, the employer needs proof and a lot of paper work. Then the employer must find a job that is suit for the employee in the same company. If such a job doesn't exist, the employer must do all they can to contact an authority that can find a job suit for the employee... What can I say, good for the employee! Some employers neglect the legislation and there is abuse. But there are also lawsuits. Overall, it's good.
@@annaconsta Wow, that's really interesting! It sounds like that model works pretty well. Hopefully, we can get to something similar sooner rather than later. Thank you so much for sharing!!
A very bad experience brought me here it was old and I'm past it but i was suicidal it was that bad but I'll NEVER LET THEM DO ME LIKE THAT AGAIN THERE NOT FRIENDS SOME CAN BE more of an acquaintance than others but not friends ive seen and heard some crazy shit it was ridiculous
This applies to military too. This one guy in my platoon said part of the reason he's staying in is because of the "friends" he'll make. Lo and behold he and his "friends" in our platoon got an Article 15 for something stupid and now our First Sergeant micromanages them and wastes their time. Me on the other hand? First Sergeant barely knows I exist. All because I shut up, do my job and keep to myself.
Thanks! It's the worst when you find out the hard way that someone's sharing your personal information with other people. Hopefully it wasn't damaging and you have a better circle.
@@TheYoungBlackProfessional It was damaging, but it ultimately caused to me to leave a very toxic job and I went to graduate school full time. Three years later I have my mental healthy, my physical health, and an advanced degree! The betrayal still stings though.
I've became anti social and a asshole(basically not saying hi back because of betrayal and insults made that trigger me) because my job is on thin ice. I don't speak or talk to anyone i just ignore everyone and only talk when it's work related even when i speak to them because of stuff i told one person got thrown around the air I work with dudes 10-20 years older than me and they have been toxic to me for the 1.5 year i been here making fun of how i carry myself and gang up on me and call it joking. It's all fun and games until someone gets triggered and i gotten triggered alot and my job is on thin ice
There’s no such thing as friends Especially in the work world with women don’t tell them people nothing you’ll protect yourself by saying little the little they know the better
Wow, thank you so much! 😊 I use Murad clarifying cleanser morning and night. For morning lotion I use Paula’s Choice with SPF 30. Night I just use whatever AHA serum I got on sale (😅) then some Drunk Elephant protini peptide lotion. I also drink a lot of water. Thanks for watching, and wishing you healthy, beautiful skin 24/7!
Thank you! I got them a while ago from Wayfair. These aren't the exact ones, but similar: www.wayfair.com/decor-pillows/pdp/union-rustic-bencomo-decorative-geometric-square-pillow-cover-w004762056.html
I try to be friendly as much as I can But I usually keep my distance due to the fact I’m at work lmao and performance is a bigger deal. Also office politics can be a part of many work cultures However I have seen cultures where everyone is friends. Especially the construction industry. Hopefully my next job is like that
It’s like having personal friends. You come across genuine people that want to be your friend or people that only want to be your friend to get things from you.
After I left this employer to go work with another employer a couple of backstabbing ex coworkers was trying to keep in touch with me on the outside when I ran into them at stores can I get your number or are you on Facebook yes I'm on Facebook but I don't accept anyone but family and I don't feel comfortable giving my number out because I don't want to be bothered and one of them had the nerve to try to get me fired twice when I was there and all the sudden on the outside now you want to be friends not word from the wise leave coworkers at work.
This is just common sense.. at least it should be common sense ... some of your coworkers can become very good friends but there are those toxic ones that you just wanna throat punch.😂😂❤️
People assume I don’t like them, it’s not that, bad experience in the past is why I act the way I do, I’m just protecting what like bit of sanity I’ve got left, and if you think that’s mean, I don’t know what to tell you.
That person who got drunk must’ve felt comfortable with those colleagues to keep drinking, sometimes people are having a bad time at home & the lines blur.. there’s always a bigger picture.
So this is the first video I've ever watched of yours , I'm at a lake right now chilling on a wall listening to you or video here, nodding my head You've got some real wisdom here, I'll definitely be listening in to some more of your videos, much love and respect 👊🔥
in my previous job, there was one person that was so drunk that shewas an embarrassment, mess, another coworker caught her on the phone. and guess what? 3 months later the drunk mess got promoted! tadaa!
im not as mature as I should be, but thank you for , REVEALING this to me. :( its NOT what I want to hear, but truthfully its LIKE ripping a band aid off...... it will come out eventually. * I THOUGHT my Boss was my friend * here in retail store, but apparently that is.....NO LONGER... the case. 10/10 Props
Just because you had a bad job experience doesnt mean you can take it out anyone else by making a video titled why co-workers are not your friends, that dies not apply to every single job, it depends on where you work at, like my grandmother told me, and for co-workers that are toxic like this, y'all really to get your fucking shit together and grow up, this is a job, this is NOT elementary school, period, thats exactly something that i would say to a toxic co-worker if i ever came across one, because thats a reality check for every toxic co-worker
Your advice is sound but makes for secluded 8 to 12 hour day. 2nd you are speaking very slowly throughout and it was difficult to stay tuned. Good luck with your channel.
Disagree with this video being friends with your colleagues definitely has its benefits. It has even been scientifically proven to be good. Research from the American research and consulting company Gallup suggests that friendships in the workplace are positive and provide support and sociability. In addition, research has shown that people learn more and are more productive when they have fun at work. “More productive?” you think now. 'Colleagues who are having a good time chat way too much with each other, don't they?' Eh yes. Beats. Research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology shows that friendly colleagues do indeed chat more during working hours. But that doesn't mean it's bad. The researchers came to the conclusion that conversations in most cases were about the work that colleagues were doing at the time. And that only leads to people doing better work, say the researchers. So it's a great idea to become friends with the people you work with. Only: how do you handle that? Become friends with colleagues In the book The Best Place to Work, psychologist Ron Friedman explains that there are four ingredients needed for a friendship. Three of them - physical proximity, familiarity and similarity - are easy to find in the workplace. But there is one condition of friendship that is a little more difficult to achieve in the workplace. It's about sharing intimate details. Researchers at Washington State University found that this was just as important in creating friendships in the workplace as it was in developing a romantic relationship. Would you like to become better friends with your colleagues? Then you shouldn't just talk about small talk. Reveal things about your private life (that don't have to be intense things right away) and show who you are. As the relationship grows, researchers say, the level of self-disclosure should also grow.
I never thought to be compettive with people at work just always wanted to get the money and have good energy but i see cant give out yourself to everyone.
