gardening taught me that seasonal time frames work for me. gardening is novel again by spring time, but of course I'll get sick of it when it gets super hot. I also discovered that I like crocheting seasonally too, when the weather is cooler which is opposite of gardening. rather than think I've given up on something I realize that it's really just the seasonal rotation.
My interests also rotate like that but I had never thought of it in terms of seasons. Mine aren't in sync with any natural cycles but it's a fantastic metaphor.
Three tips that have greatly helped me manage ADHD: 1, hanging/magnetic chalkboard magnets in each room with chalk markers. Any time I have an important thought I write it down. 2, a monthly chalkboard calendar (side note: multi-colored bistro chalk markers are a MUST. It helps with the visual organization). It’s a lifesaver, as long as I remember to update it at the start of every month. 3, a water resistant clock in the shower. I don’t know about you guys, but I lose track of time in the bathroom. But a shower clock helps keep me on track. Good luck, everybody!
I spent my whole life trying to force myself to be neurotypical and failed miserably. I am doing so much better in the last year actually embracing being neurodivergent and finding what works best for me. Thank you so much for your videos! They are so helpful. You’re amazing 💜
I've decided this year (after years of beating my head against the wall for not accomplishing goals) that this year will be the fun year. Pasta Quest (try new pasta shapes) is this month, Fruit Adventure is next, and so on. I'm in the last year of my degree so hopefully this will be a fun year!
Fruit adventure is SO FUN. If you have a local Asian market, go there often. I live in a small city and I've found fresh jackfruit, cherimoya, longans, star apple, mangosteen, and all sorts of great stuff!
I decided to do a resolution bingo this year, so it removes the pressure of having to do /everything/ on the list! I put some low bar resolutions on there like "try a new restaurant" as well as some more involved goals so I think I can at least check some of them off!
My “theme” is health and setting healthy boundaries with others! Using a theme really helped last year and was the very first time I actually felt like I did the resolution thing right. 😊
I got a quarterly planner! Ofc I have a hard time consistently writing in it, but having goals for every 3 months seem so much more achievable than a whole ass year so I’m excited for this year and feeling way more optimistic :P
I’ve been frustrated with how many foods I buy, stick in the freezer, and forget about them so my resolution is to eat through the things in there. The way that I’ve set this for myself is doing Freezer Fridays where I just need to eat something that’s in my freezer. If I feel up to it that can include making one of the meals in there or it could be eating something as small as a spoon of ice cream. I hope by building in the flexibility I will actually be able to accomplish what I’m trying to do in the end. Also, if this gets me to clear out my freezer then I can stop and can count it as a success!
I’ve started bullet journaling again this year. I’ve been completely overloading my daily to do list. I love making lists and knowing I won’t do everything helps with my demand avoidance. I get two or three things done every day off of it and I feel so successful.
PERSPECTIVE is KEY to PERSEVERANCE. My new year resolutions are less about setting goals that I will always really want to achieve but turn into brick walls of failures, and more about day to day progress. Resolutions become things to avoid because running full tilt into brick walls hurts. Also resolutions are inherently full of expectations and excessively high challenges over much too long of a time frame. I try to find a collection of things that relate to each other and vary in how much they ask of me so I can juggle them depending upon how I feel each day but they all combine in a way that gets me to where I’m hoping to go. For example more physical activities can include the activity itself or the items involved with them like getting the clothes organized and easy to use or getting a fun new water bottle to keep hydrating easier, and giving myself credit wherever I can each day. It’s a tiny shift of focus and consideration but it keeps me from seeing anything as a negative. I know I am trying and even this is ok.
I am an artistic person with ADHD and last year my goal was to focus on one different craft/project/new medium each month. I didn't do a new one every month, as a planned, but i did more art and learned more skills! That is progress to me! Having a hard is more stressful to me than having something a bit more fluid. Also if anyone takes this idea, put a cap on how much you spend/aquire for these projects! Ik we can hyper fixate on new hobbies and over consume sometimes.
This is so timely! Obviously a lot of people do the resolutions thing at the beginning of the new year but I normally don't. However, this year, I am committing to giving myself at least three hours a week of art time. It can also be more but at least three hours and they can be in several different days that make up three hours or it could be One day one good long sewing stretch. But somehow I am going to give myself room to make art and whatever form I am up to at that moment because the housework never ends. The caregiving never ends. I will never have completed all of my chores as a mom and primary caregiver of my mother along with me teenagers and cats. So at least three hours per week for me to do something that makes me really happy.
Resolutions, regardless of ADHD or anything (although it could be contributing its own issues), fail for another reason: People make them on New Year's Eve. January is the start of the year. You're run down from holiday but also bummed out about returning to normalcy with nothing to celebrate in the near future. It's winter too, cold and dark. January is the Monday of months and nobody wants to push for drastic changes or put in the work to break and form habits _on a freakin' Monday_ - so they either don't start, or fail. Make your resolution in the spring, on Easter. Embrace your inner pagan and start that "new you" when the plants are reborn, 'round the festival of screwing and new life (Easter...'Cause rabbits and eggs). You'll make better progress while it's not shitty, cold, dark Monday.
My goals for this year is to be more playful, feel less tension in my body, and to try to knit a tempertature blanket. I also relate to the "impulse buying" productivity stuff... the pile of journals in the corner of my office lol.
Love those! I also created a goal about being more playful! I decided I'm going to find time every day to be silly, like dancing around my apartment with no care in the world about how uncoordinated and ridiculous I look. 🥴
Making it a goal of “addition” instead of “subtraction“ is something I didn’t realize I was already doing! I think after so many years I just intuitively realized that those goals work better for me. Great advice. This year, my goal is to hang out with friends more often.
Setting a goal during the coldest, darkest part of the year? The neurotypical audacity. Jan to Mar: Scoping/pre-planning so your hyper fixation dies off by the time it's actually time to do the thing. May: Do the thing. You only need to spend about 3 to 6 months on the thing to declare victory, not almost 12.
For years, I've made resolutions in a tongue-in-cheek fashion. 7 years ago my two resolutions were to take a shower the next day and ask a guy out for coffee I'd met at the end of December and I did do both of those (the guy said no but I wasn't really that interested either so that was all fine and good). In 2021 and 2023 my resolutions were to birth a baby (I was pregnant both times) and lo and behold I did! So making your resolutions fun and putting the bar on the floor is imo the best way to approach them. For years, I used to also write a letter to myself at the beginning of the year to be opened the next new year. I've lost the tradition in recent years but I think I should bring that back!
As a Christian (the not-crazy kind, I hope), with ADHD and seasonal depression, New Year's resolutions are almost a guaranteed failure. Instead, I add a discipline for Lent -- 6 weeks, starting in mid February or early March, and which ends in my mid-spring energy uptick. If, at the end of Lent, the practice is working well for me, I keep doing it. If not, I drop it on Easter with no guilt.
I loved this ♡ my therapist suggested to do an exercise where I define my values, and its been my favorite new years thing! You start with a list of 20 values and refine them to your top 5. Putting them on my wall to look at all year ♡
Awesome! If you haven't already, you may want to check out exercises used in ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy). A foundation of that modality is aligning values with goals. 😊
I don't set New Year's resolutions but I do tend to feel my most motivated in January and February. I think a lot of this comes from my lowest levels of motivation being in November and December so I'm on a major upswing once the holidays are over and I do things because I REALLY want to do them, not because I'm setting some goal for myself. I also ignore the advice to pace myself (might have to do with hyperfixation) partly because if I pace myself, once I inevitably lose some motivation, there's nothing to go down to, I will just stop altogether. But if I go all in, once I lose motivation, I can go down to a more reasonable level. For instance, while I have the motivation to work out for an hour or more, five times a week, I just do it without worrying about whether I'm going too hard because I know that eventually my motivation will go down and I'll only work out three times a week or even just once a week and it might only be for like half an hour. If I start out pacing myself at an hour, three times a week, once I lose motivation, I'm probably not going to go at all. I think the key is that I do what I want, when I want and at the intensity I want, not because I think that if I don't do it I'm a failure. There will be times when I want to give something my all, so I do. Then, when I don't feel like doing it at all, I'll at least do a little.
I LOVE your ADHD videos! I have inattentive adhd and have a hard time listening to certain voices. I am able to listen and retain a lot from your videos! So please keep making them. I feel so validated and learning about things I thought were inherently defects in my personality and turns out it’s my neurodivergence!! Thank you!!!
Hi Mickey. I discovered your channel today while looking for tips to help manage my rampaging ADHD. I have already subscribed and am now burning through your ADHD playlist. There are lots of great ADHD- or neurodivergency-themed channels made by people with those conditions, but hardly any made by people who are _also_ mental health specialists or clinicians. I just love how you speak, swearing and all. You're being real and that's very refreshing. There's no fancy production tricks or editing, no slick presentation, and no gimmicky memes plastered all over the video. It's just you, your wonderfully colourful and inclusive decore, oodles of helpful information, and an overarching message of compassion and self-acceptance. I am exceedingly grateful that you even have a video addressed to neurotypicals who have an ADHD person in their life. I was diagnosed only a year ago at the age of 41 but my ADHDness has been a source of marital strife for years. I will be sitting my wife down to watch it with me tonight. Thanks so much for doing what you do!
rather than have a schedule of when I do certain tasks, I have a certain time of the day that is reaerved for productivity which can include self care which includes house cleaning or projects, hobbies, whatever is not getting sucked into my phone. I do this between dropping my son. off at school and when my first therapy client session starts at 10:30. I just try to become consistent about this and I'm getting a lot more done than when I tried to be organized about housework. I just do what I feel inspired to do at this time (other than phone time!)
my only new year’s resolution was to read more from the start and setting a goodreads goal is really helping me stick to it. concrete goals and reminders to get me there is what helps my adhd
Can we get a video on how to talk to "normal" people around accommodations? I keep running into this perception that either life-hacks/planners "fix" ADHD, meaning it is no longer visible and a discomfort to normal people, or that there's nothing that can help us and resentment from help requests.
This year I made a list of small goals of various types that I have trouble doing or getting to that I enjoy or will make me happier in the long run. For example, I'm an artist, so making a bigger piece is a goal, and I haven't felt motivated to post art for a long time, so posting art is another goal, and one reason I don't feel like posting art is I want to remake a social media account for my art, so another goal is to remake that. And I give myself a "point" for every goal I complete, and if I repeat one of these goals I can get another point. There's no point goal, and there's a lot of categories, finishing reading any book, cleaning the dining room table, harness training my cat, trying new foods (as a picky eater) I think the idea of having a "theme" each week is a REALLY helpful idea too though! I've been wanting to do more with fitness and strength/flexibility training and really couldn't work out a way to make this work with my grab-bag of goals. It just didnt make sense to use the point system for, say, doing stretches.
1- explains why i prefer planning my goals quarterly and focusing on 52 weeks instead of 365 days a year. also explains why choosing a Word of the Year became my new and most meaningful way to evaluate my year, I don't know why (as a writer/reader/bookseller) I hadn't been doing this before! But I started doing my Word of the Year in 2021, which is like a theme I want to focus on for that year. one year it was Peace, so that year i found spiritual peace, financial peace, and peace with myself. it also meant avoiding needless conflict or things that would affect my peace of mind. 2- i get really hard on myself when i can't keep up with commitments, but i know it's a lot with how i was built. i'll beat myself up when i don't stick to routines that serve me very well. for example, last year i was devising systems to help me keep things clean and it worked for a long time but it got hard and now i have a lot of work to do. i will get back to my routine of a 25 minute tidy up, laundry every sunday and monday. 3 - as a writer, i'm a huge notebook junkie!! what helped me is telling myself it's okay not to stick to one planner for a whole year - i like to have notebooks for different subjects and half way through the year I will change up my planner. there are weeks where i fall off but i love coming back to my notebooks and seeing everything i filled out. digital planners actually are not for me lol! 4 - failure is very big for me, since my school days being a high achiever. i already set my goal for the first quarter to save 5k. if i don't make it, i still want to give myself a pat on the back if i achieve other things like managing my business better for Q2. 5 - this was such an eye opening fact, hyperfixating currently on van life (again) thanks so much for your channel, new viewer!!
New Years used to stress me tf out and send me into depression. So several years ago, I bought an undated planner in April and I still do it every year. I have tried with digital planners but it just never takes. I have a terrible memory and if it's out of sight, it's out of mind, so I need a paper planner. Buying an undated one helps in a couple of ways: 1. It takes the pressure off the new year and reduces the urgency to make everything new and perfect, and 2. Having to write the dates in creates a regular practice of planning out my week every Monday, which really helps me keep things focused and keeps my goals small (I like a weekly goal). I'm also way more likely to remember things when I write them down. Accepting who I am and what works for me has been huge! 😊
I always tell my bf that New Year’s resolutions are only stupid if it’s the only time of year you set goals (which is what a lot of people do unfortunately). Studies show that setting daily, weekly, and/or monthly goals is a high predictor of success. So I think New Year’s resolutions are good as long as you are making and adjusting your goals regularly throughout the entire year.
I really like the short-term goals. They world wonderfully with my stepdaughter, whereas waiting a freakin year isn't foreseeable for her. I'm trying this!
Realizing that a slip up is not a failure, but giving up is a failure has been life changing for my health and fitness goals. I realize I have been messing up my diet and instead of beating myself up until I am defeated, I say ok. I start again Monday. I have lost 40 lbs so far. But more importantly, I actually believe I can achieve my goals.
Love the message in this video! I stopped doing NYR many years ago (before learning that i am adhd) and first it felt anxious and overwhelming (and fomo a bit) but now I am so happy i stopped doing it. Some years i felt like doing smth like that so i just did new year predictions instead. That felt kinda similar but not as stressful.
“Resolutions” are tough because they are so absolute. Like, “I’m going to work out consistently!” And then you remember that working out is hard and takes a lot of commitment (and that’s why you stopped doing it in the first place). Like, a goal can be more realistic. “I want to be healthier” means many things, and can consistently be accomplished; whereas working out more is vague and needs huge change to implement overtime. I think setting goals for the year is great, but realistic goals that you have a plan for. Idk maybe it’s a cope because I know not everything will work out the way I want lol
I like this novelty concept. I forget how important stuff was to me initially when it doesn't change, so... week one: I will track macros. Two: Track all the macros, not most of them. Three: Calculate macro targets, keep tracking. Four: Calculate, track, and try to reduce to fat macro target... and so on. lol
I had to shift my thinking when it came to working out. I bought my membership in November 2018 and didn’t start going until February 2019 . It took me that long to mentally prepare myself to get into a routine. Once I started seeing results, it kept me motivated. Plus I was trying to impress a crush of mine, so whatever works 😂😂😂
My goal this year is to fold my laundry. Im a terrible folder however the folding board is actually kinda fun. So far so good. Side goal is to keep things where they go... For now its going well. I also want to have my room decorated by March as a reward for all the things im trying to 'fix'. The calendar thing i use my phone, because my phone is always with me and i set alarms/alerts for days before the even so i don't forget. Its color coated for bills/work/doc/Holliday/and ECT. With my Job I had to force myself to use it and now honestly I can't live without it. As long as i never say... Oh I'll put it in my calendar later ..... No i won't. Just do it now right now. (BTW no one thinks its rude to put things in your calendar. Its the opposite usually. They are like wow they actually care.) It's been a lifesaver for me honestly. I use Google calendar so i can move it from phone to phone easily. Im sure there is an ios equivalent. Side note i have already failed at forcing myself to use an e-reader. I'm old-ish and I love actual books. I do pass them along to others so at least they have a continued life span.
Holy @$#%, thank toy. I'm in floods of tears. Appreciate thus and needed to hear this. I'm hiding but I needs diagnosis and to come out. The wee flitters I have felt exploring this 🎉 I've not accepted as how can I am so overwhelmed as it is. Much love
It's funny you use crafting as an example cause I recently got into crafts and right now I want to do ALL the crafts. 😂 Drawing, painting, clay, sewing, DIY home decor, Cricut projects (just got a Cricut Maker 3 during the black Friday sale!), resin, digital art & animation, etc. I want to carve at least a few hours (3-4 hrs) a week to work on crafting.
I made it 4.5 days without Dr. Pepper and you know what.. I DON'T HAVE THE POWER FOR THAT RIGHT NOW. You know what I did? I put a giant dry erase board next to my desk (in my living room) where I can dump reminders and goals so it's top of mind.. shopping list of all the household crap I need, places I want to apply for a job, some other long term professional goals, and this little area where I write down where i'm at in this 4 hour SQL training video on RU-vid.. I don't have the ability to sit down and watch the whole thing. hah I, too, am that person that spent $60 on an Erin Condren planner and immediately felt like a failure because I do not have the skills to make it cute and then never used it. I used to love using a planner when I was in middle school but now I just can't get myself to do it. So frustrating. Also re: flossing GET A WATERPIK. I don't care what any dentist says Mickey, that thing works. It's fun to use and I could actually see results when I used it. But get it at Costco because they definitely break and Costco's return policy is top notch.
I've been working on the same Dr Pepper goal. The only thing that's working is having a physical boundary. I keep it in the garage (I'll see how long this lasts in Minnesota) so I can't mindlessly grab.
@@kathleenlamb597 Oh, I don't have any in the house... go to the grocery store and my brain is like ooh let me tuck this bottle into my arm... get home and i'm like.. oh, i don't remember buying that even though I bought 4 things.... lol whattttt
I'm very much a paper planner type of person. I have autism and ADHD and I simply cannot keep track of things I need to do on my phone or iPad because there are too many distractions and I like the simplicity of paper. I also want to keep my tasks and planning separate from the phone where I have games, all sorts of apps and people who want to contact me all the time. I agree that sometimes we need to stop setting resolutions to "fix" our neurodivergent brains tho. I have recently been reading Julia Cameron's "The Artist's Way" but I'm not a morning person so I haven't yet started with morning pages since mornings are my least favorite part of the day... Then I realized this book was written for neurotypical people so maybe I need to tweak and twist this to fit into my schedule and brain instead... By doing evening pages! I really liked this video. We shouldn't set resolutions to get out of our neurodivergence because that's not helpful or realistic.
I generally don’t do new year specific resolutions. I play a game of “set the new habit” when I stopped doing flylady I took some of her best stuff(for me) with me. Thing one, if experts say you need 21 days to form a habit plan on 28 days. Thing two, You are not “behind” don’t try to catch up, just start doing whatever it was again. No blame no shame. I currently have a great streak of meditation going on and I’m working on a journaling habit. I don’t know where she got the 21 day thing…but what I do know is that setting one habit at a time, tracking it, and rewarding myself at intervals generally works. I retained one habit from my time with flylady, I make my bed every day unless I’m ill. (Shiny sink didn’t work for me.) People talk about “accountability partners” while I’m pretty sure that would be helpful I just don’t have one, don’t know where to get one, and so it goes. (spouse is terrible at it, he either forgets or gets preachy. Don’t want to be preached at? don’t involve him.)
last year my new year resolutions was so start a diary and write in it every day. I only missed like 6 days the whole year and It's a good way to get my thoughts out. This doesn't really have to do with the video because it wasn't really a resolution I just used the new year as an excuse to do something I already wanted to do
2:27 My resolution as far as fitness was just 'Buy and mount a fitness bar'. The very fact of it being there leads to use - not every day, not for the same time each time, but use nonetheless. Some days I just hang from it while watching TV.
💞 love these, thank you. I haven't made a resolution in years because I know myself but this year I'm making a crochet temperature project! 😅😅 I'm making a stuffed snake though because I will never finish a blanket. 😂 Wish me luck! 🤞🏻😝
I know this is completely off-topic to the video, but I would really appreciate if you reviewed Jessica Kent and her new boyfriend who has multiple violent charges. She had brought him into her home with her young children. She assumes everyone is upset over his tattoo, or the fact he is a felon. In reality, he seems to have no remorse for the crimes he has committed (many of which were violent and against defenseless people). I don’t know how to gauge the situation and considering Jessica Kent has over 1 million subscribers it could be very easy for young viewers to think it is OK to date people with a history of violent crime. I would greatly appreciate you looking into her channel and educating people on what the line is for bringing new people around your kids and at what point is someone truly different from their violent past. All the love to you and the work you do ❤️
It's weird cuz i thought i set myself up for success with my goals this year, i followed howtoadhd's advice of choosing a goal feeling, and mine was just "to be more confident" cuz i struggle a lot with my insecurity holding me back and taking a negative toll on my relationships. And i like journalled a lot about it (journalling is a special interest of mine and works well with the autistic part of me, im still working towards making my system more adhd friendly but it's still a work in progress) but ive immediately hit a depressive slump and that kinda feels like i "failed" the confidence goal already. This video helped a bit though, i think i realised that im still kinda using "self improvement" as a... way to keep telling myself im not good enough. That's not to say self improvement isnt a legit thing, more just i have a unhealthy relationship with trying to "fix myself" I hope I'll figure out how to reach my goal feeling, maybe its just too vague for me to know how to go about it? Anyway, thanks for the video❤
My resolution every year is just to make personal progress, however it comes. 2yrs ago i started on hormones and transition. Last year i had bottom surgery. This year im looking to get a revision surgery and also to move on my ex which was a lowkey harmful relationship and to get a fresh start in a new city. Maybe next year ill find a way to be a poditive impact on that community ❤
My New Year's Resolutions... ALWAYS STUCK.... imagine my surprise when I realized.... at 50 yrs old... that my NYE ritual was ACTUALLY ... me adjusting my masking.
OMGG for years up until like this one to not do 2. Because it DOESNT AND WONT EVER WORK. Like logically I should’ve come to that on my own, but it took someone saying that’s what they tried their whole life to a certain point and learning it doesn’t work and to embrace yourself and learn about yourself and that is what I’m trying to do now. I won’t ever be neurotypical and have never been, but things being missed until adulthood has made my life 10x harder, I started recently noticing more of what is likely going on and how misdiagnosis has negatively affected me for years. It’s really just finally setting into my brain that doing things in a neurotypical manner aren’t likely going to work for me and I need to stop trying so hard to do things that way and being so MEAN to myself. Self compassion is so important and I hope that I can gain that skill for myself and to help keep me from burning myself out or stressing myself out SO BADLY. 🥺
I always set my resolutions around life needs and never do them around new years your short term suggestion is pretty good although I don't know how I could do the theme thing as I don't do the new years superstition
Chore charts and planners don't work for me because keeping them updated feels like just another thing on my already too full to-do list such that they're actually causing more stress rather than alleviating it. My goals this year center around education and career and I'm finding that 15 minute practice sessions are the way to go for me. It's short, but the time adds up over the weeks and months and once I start, I often find myself studying longer anyway. Knowing that I only HAVE TO do 15 minutes to consider it a success helps me to be okay with starting in the first place.
I'm so grateful for your video, so many things clicked for me. I would really like to look further into this and was searching the discription for links to the mentioned articles and research. Did I miss the links?
Not me being 35 with extreme anxiety and that rejection thing you mentioned… realizing I just might have adhd because I just related to every one of these reasons… there are people out there that don’t struggle with these subjects?
Thank you for talking about this. SMART goals have 100% become a product of capitalism and I can't stand it. I recently heard another ADHD content creator say to base your goals on how you want to feel, which I've found useful. I'm autistic with PDA (pervasive drive for autonomy/pathological demand avoidance) and it makes goal setting SO DIFFICULT. I wish demand avoidance was talked about more. I often have to trick myself into doing things. I'm either one-track-mind all-consuming pursuit of the goal or feeling resentment toward the thing demanding my attention. I hate being a light switch. I wish I was a dial. Ugh.
My theme is year is being kinder to others and also to myself. I think it's especially relevant as I've been struggling with some anxiety issues (intrusive thoughts are not kind!) and I'm intending to see an ocd specialist soon so I can get on top of it (I'm thinking it's ocd but not entirely sure so i'll see how that goes)
It's interesting watching this because maybe 2 years ago i just decided to stop doing proper new years resolutions and keep to vibes only. So last year it was just "imma be a healthy bitch", not how i was gonna do it. And I ended up going to the gym pretty consistently that year (twice a week baby!) And I think that was the first time I ever actually stuck to a resolution? I think it 100% helped that my resolution wasn't to go to the gym twice a week. It just ended up being the easiest thing I could do reflecting on my week that would fit the healthy bitch vibe. And I never had anything to feel bad over if I didn't go one week because maybe I chose to eat cauliflower that week instead. I have adhd but didn't put together that it may have contributed to my issues with new years resolutions in the past.
i've never set a new year resolution, the concept always seemed ridiculous to me, demotivating and definitely not in line with my productivity patterns. if i'm gonna make a big change in lifestyle or something like that, it's gonna be in spring, once my energy is back up, and spend the winter planning the steps and building motivation to do it in baby steps and not give up when i fail once etc. and i absolutely hate planners and competitions! i'm far more on the autistic spectrum then adhd though... i function way differently, anything like planners, competitions and people "keeping me accountable" demotivate me enormously. that's what's been forced on me for my whole life as "motivation" when in fact it was never in the least motivating, but extremely stressful. and it's still forced on me at work. if i want to be sure i'll fail at something i will add competition and someone "keeping me accountable". it's certain to get me furiously rebellious in no time! the only person who can keep me accountable is myself, and the only motivation that works is me really wanting to make that change for my own reasons (which i've spent some time thinking about and understanding) and making a plan for doing it in a sustainable manner, managing expectations and recovering/restarting when i fall off the wagon.
I wonder if you can make a video about time blindness. I know quite a few of us adhd folks deal with it. What are some strategies? How do I answer the questions doctors ask about if I’ve been depressed in the last two weeks, if I have no idea how long ago 2 weeks was?
Hey Mickey, I'm currently having a discussion with a good friend about neurodivergence and demand avoidance. I wanted to link a video about how difficult it is to do the things we must do. My friend and I are both late diagnosed AuDHD. But, I couldn't find a video. I know you've talked about it in the podcast. Could you please make a video about PDA (pathological demand avoidance, not public displays of affection).
Like how ever winter I crochet 5 blankets a few hats and some scarfs then drop it mid blanket 6 because this all happened in 4 days and my hands are dead then never pick it up till next winter
I always get my pen and paper out and thinking cap on when I see the title of the video pertaining to ADHD. It's quite the anigma for those of us with neurotypical brains. My partner (38/M) and my stepdaughter (10/F) both have ADHD, and I'm trying so hard to adapt to their world, is that he best thing? Because I feel like there should be compromise..
i try this bullet jurnal mood chart this year and of course i but the bar to high so i will adjust it next month to a system that hopefully will work better for me. I also gave me a 3 month test trial first so i dont set up myself for failiure if i realise its not for me and then a force myself to do it or b feel bad when i stop doing
I use my phones note feature as a planner but i really didnt really notice that is what i was doing until very recently. I like having it handy on all my devices and literally on hand 99%of the time. I am a clutter lover but it is bad for me psychology so not buying all the fancy planner stickers and pages is fun. I love putting it together but i never use it. I have probably 8? Empty planner binders that i keep saying i am going to buy the pages and ALLLLL the things but i know it doesnt work for me. It really does set me up for failure and then i want to throw it away bit feel like i spent too much on it to throw it out. So it will sit on my shelf where everytime i see it i relive that guult and bad feelings. I'm not doing that anymore. I deserve peace and forgiving myself for maybe making an unwise choice and throw that shit away!!!! I started watching decluttering videos and that has really helped me with this as well. The psychology behind why i love clutter and have doom baskets and when i find i like something..whether it be a ceral bowl or a sweatshirt i go buy at least 3 more (usually many more!) in different colors All these things tie together.
I do monthly resolution, and weekly. I write them down, if I don't do it, I rewrite them for the next week, month... It gives me pleasure when I rewrite them, strangly. Nor I obsess if I didn't do it, nor I get too excited if I did. The tornado 🌀 of life can fuck it up, so I just look at both with intrigue, amusement, not sure which word fits... I think it's all useless, but I still do it, the uselessness.
What do you recommend someone do who was diagnosed with ADHD last year, at age 39, and because of COVID and the state of the world, has lost all motivation to change? I want to do better, to find enjoyment in challenges, but I just don't feel like it's worth it anymore. I know I'm slowly killing myself with my current habits but the apathy I feel toward life cannot be understated.
