Widow's mysterious death highlights growing concern over romance scams 

This is very difficult for women bc they define themselves based on their social relationships…

The thing is, she doesn't have to be "alone". All people need is to have IRL relationships or join groups. Why not meet someone or a hobbiest/volunteer type of online, group where the person(s) is more than an hour away by car. The Internet for meeting people should be like the yellow pages or classifies back in the day. You use it for the introduction, but if there is no in person meeting by the first week, move on.

@@Chad_Max Good point. I'm a man. Maybe it's easier for men to live on their own. But if a woman spends her life trying to be modern, strong and independent, you'd think that she could be modern, strong and independent. Great Brando thumbnail, BTW.

No. Not for long periods

And the weird thing is they are still physically alone, not meeting the scammer. It's easier to hide what the victim feels is their faults, their body, etc, behind the keyboard. We've lost out on a lot of interpersonal skills the past few decades since we invited the internet into our homes.

Or, more often, boring company 😂

Or both if they can get it.

You spoke my mind and phrased it so well. I am also an elderly woman who has no intention of taking care of any men nevermind giving them a penny of my hard earned money and my children's inheritance.

I agree, you’ll be a housekeeper, a nurse and/or a financial provider

HA 🤣 I have not heard this before

I’m a very active, in shape 70 year old woman. The only man I could get, if I wanted one, would be an old man. I don’t want to take care of some old man.

I totally agree. This kind of thing is so ridiculous you can hardly believe this is true. How can anyone send money to someone she has never even seen.

@@kathleensmith644 Decades on this planet and learned nothing: contractors do this all the time to wives whose life "job" is to spend the husbands earned money. I thought this was the past generation until I started dating again at age 50 plus.

Bless you for trying to help.

I believe a lot of banks these days have the right to refuse these transactions if they have reason to expect this kind of thing is happening.

Did she ever realize she was being scammed?

@@OriginLinear Good question. She did hide a letter to her daughter that said she knew she would end up dead. What's up with that????

@@texasmimi5566 probably the "relationship" moved to threatening when the "kash" or questions started coming to the top of the conversation.

Yes😢

100% go out with your friends who you are happy with. Girlfriends are THE best. I have fun with my daughter & son. We go to eat, go to a city close to us to shop & we have so much fun. No need to have a man. Or as my auntie called them. 🦂🦂🦂🦂😂

Yes, don't be a nurse and/or a purse.

God bless you,glad it worked out for you. I hope your ex is well also, I’m sure you are missed.

Too true, you can be much lonier surrounded by ppl who don't appreciate you, than being around dogs.

Cats and dogs are the best. They give us so much love.

And the shame of being victimized.

And the shame after all the warnings from loved ones

Yep very common…!

some of these people literally tell these ppl to take their life

Worse than gambling or opioids.

scams are actually getting smarter: mine are young ladies 1/3 my age, but plain janes, with 100 friends, all men my age, and/or guys names Mummmbaww Mackababuttoo!!!! NO girlfriends. Next?? theyre ramp up to have a new girfriends with those same Nigerian/Malawi/Somalian names.

Same - I have stopped posting replies to FB news stories because it brings them out in droves. Always a profile photo of some good-looking older guy who is fascinated with my response and wants to know me better. 😂🤣 I simply block them, but it’s annoying.

Agreed.

the daughter did this, LOL. you folks are slow.

@@JohnEastmanExAttyAtLaw dropkick.

Lol!!

These scammers are cleaning up!!! I saw a video where a lady gave 2 million dollars to scammers. 🤦‍♀️

Exactly my comment. Never met the guy in person but handed over money she wouldn't give to her own child.

the daughter did it. nobody is buying those tears. the money was sent to a blind trust. they don't know where it went.

​@@JohnEastmanExAttyAtLawAnything is possible.

You’d have to give me a million $$$ to stay away from a man. Was married for 30 years, I got a divorce and am happy. Ladies, don’t give a man your hard earned money or money your husband worked so hard for the leave you well set.

No nag.😮

@ChantalA489 - I don't understand why she didn't see that it was completely inappropriate for him to even ask for money when they only recently matched online.

​@@Ava2969nyDesperate

​@@Ava2969nySome women are SOOOO lonely and desperate for love, as you can see.

@@Ava2969nyPeople like this guy are basically professionals. They know just how to manipulate the right people to get them to do this.

Why is she a poor woman? She was an executive, for pete's sake. She should have known better......

1.7 to be exact. Basically closer to 2 😩

Not a NURSE, not a PURSE. Words to live by.

Yeah, remember Dirty John?

Exactly; get active in the real world pursuing interests, hobbies, volunteer work and organically get to know people -- and hopefully forge friendships -- for who they authentically are.

Real men don't date online.😎

Agree, only video calls and even what is said can be a lie too.

I don’t understand people who do online dating but don’t actually meet the people in person… I only use online dating to meet people I otherwise wouldn’t be able to meet. But I take it off the apps as soon as possible. As far as I’m concerned, no one gets my money.

Nothing is safe. We had a predator in a church I went to. A long time ago, a "friend" introduced me to a man that had just gotten out of jail. This is before we could perform online searches, way before the internet. The best we can do is go into these situations as our healthier selves, not in a place of need and to slow down and think things through.

Bars and Church. Weird. Online? Scams.😮

Oh but the ego doesn’t want to accept that

Real men don't date online. No need.

The government can but it needs to be a priority...maybe a billion dollars lost might get their attention

I doubt he is in the US…

It is!

Don't these folks watch the news? Or do they know about these scams but think their 'boyfriend' is not part of one? I read people far too well to fall for such. Too aware of the nefarious vermin to ever be a victim. I may be old and unsound of body but my mind is fine and fit. What I have lost in physical agility I have gained in wisdom. I'm so sorry that this woman was victimized. I get emails and texts from these people fishing for victims. It's obvious what they're trying to do. At least to me.

They wouldn't be able to take money from me because I'm old and lonely, and broke. 😝

Face Book? Hahahaha !😮

"Cherry picking": data mining. Absolutely.

Because it doesn’t matter how educated someone is, the fact is we are all human and the need for connection is stronger than good sense. Very sad

Hospital admins are unrealistic. Believe me.

@@qweeknee4208 You know them all hey

Tough.

Believe me, i understand. I gave online dating a try, it was interesting, sometimes entertaining but very enlightening. Just trying to find a guy who could carry on an intelligent conversation was few and far between. I finally realized I was scraping the bottom of the barrel and gave up, lol. Definitely less Drama

@@terryowen6759 We didn't 'settle for not being wanted by a guy' or 'just gave up looking' either, like so many say...with an eyeroll. WE chose to eliminate THEM as partners from our lives, to live less drama, trauma and more time and energy for positive things or self healing. I've found that so many who say they don't like living without another human being in the home, often don't like their own company. Why, right?

In 1997 I traded my ex for 2 pit bulls and never looked back. Happier than I've ever been❤

I think there is a level of vanity, of ignorance, of emotional manipulation, etc. This lady obviously knew nothing about the real world - a surprising number of people don't. They live in one city or one country all their lives. They are involved in local cultures and they know nothing of other cultures.

Loneliness

@@TessaNow - Another thing is that when some people are in a relationship, they leave the financial decisions to their spouse, and when the spouse dies, they are not only dealing with grief, despair and loneliness of losing their spouse, but they now have to figure out how to manage money; and that's where they can be easily caught in a scam.

@@Ava2969ny That is an excellent point. However, they shouldn't have left everything to the other partner, and I would like to know your point of view on that. Thanks.

@@TessaNow - I agree that the other partner should not be left with the entire estate to manage. However, most people do leave their entire liquid asset to the other partner because in a functional marriage, it's assumed that the remaining spouse will take on the responsibility. There are some smart people who create a trust so that most of money and real estate is untouchable until their children turn a certain age, and the remaining spouse can receive a portion, which is smart, but there's still no way to know if the children will manage the money well either. In this case I get the sense that she was not financially saavy, and she absolutely was not emotionally stable enough to live alone after the death of her spouse. Many people don't understand that dating is a slippery slope; trying to figure out who is being authentic and who is fake is sometimes challenging for young people, so forget about someone who is middle-aged and possibly still grieving the loss of her spouse, and living in another state with no support system. This was a disaster waiting to happen; she should have moved to the same city as her daughter.

Never!! I don't understand how people give money to strangers. It's unbelievable!!

And what if the elderly won't listen? I eirked retail and have tried to tell people about these scams. THEY DON'T LISTEN! So when they buy gift cards and send money who's fault is it? People need to understand there are warnings but people will do what they want to.

You’re not focusing on the real situation; ignorance. You’re encouraging a coddled society that doesn’t take time out of their day to educate themselves on what they’re getting involved with. You’d rather have them walk around the world with their eyes closed Theres bypasses to everything you said. Human behavior has its faults and will continue to contribute to scenarios like this until self awareness is established. Barley anyone understands themselves or subconscious habits they just operate on autopilot letting their unconscious mind do everything without question

I do too. She probably realized what was going on, that despite giving this person all of her money, she was never going to meet the one in the photo. The shame forced her to take her life..

@@dawndavenport5166 Yep. So sad. 😢

Young men from poor countries is putting it nicely. Listen to some of the YT channels with young people impersonating an oldster. Scammers are evil, and cruel and abusive, probably possessed by demons. It would seem that way, considering the rage that manifests itself when they're not getting what they want.😒

They don't feel responsible they're just going to tell you that it's illegal to give strangers money which is common sense but of course the manipulation is professional and the authorities are lame in the age of absolute surveillance

In Chicago, the Fraud Department supported the scammer who filed a fraudulent mechanic's lien against my house and held it hostage for$80,000. Legal expenses drained my retirement account.

@@dtyallen9864 Chicago does seem to be a center of shuffling these romance scam funds and also never recovered from the World's Fair turning it into a brothel

Private citizens are doing more that government. Look up "scam baiting."

@@nghtwtchmn129 the problem is when people are in the heat of getting hoaxed they can't admit it..... it's easier to hoax people than it is to get them to admit it... people seeking relationship are trying to be positive. The scammers are pros at first gaining your trust appearing normal and then flipping on you asking for help... at that point people are thinking oh God I have all this time invested? And that becomes a large Factor in their decisions. The bottom line is don't give money to people you don't actually know

Too bad. Hahaha😮

The goose that laid the golden egg............

Every family should set up code words. No code word used= no help given.

Scammers can not only learn about your family from social media, they can use A.I. to impersonate your grandchild's voice.

This happened to my dad. They called my dad saying "hi nonno fo you know who this is" do my dad said my eldest son name. he said was in jail but if my dad paid $$$ they would release him and not to tell the parents or he would be in trouble. My dad was a bit suspicious because my son doesn't speak fluent Italian. He told the caller "your dad works with the police, ask him to help you" and the call was disconnected thank God! I was so glad my dad wasn't scammed. It's disgusting what these scammers do.

That happened to me and at first I laughed and he said no I am serious grandma…..and I laughed again and said you fool…..my grandson does not have a SPANISH accent….and he doesn’t call me grandma either and he very quickly hung up!😊😊

Yes, I agree. It's hard to believe. Very interesting from a psychological perspective. $1.7 million? Wow.

@@MagSub172 :) No, it's not dementia. If it was, they wouldn't be able to function with the scammer either. They probably wouldn't even know how to use a phone or a laptop. As for my not being through intense loneliness or suffering, I've had a long life of it. I'm now 72. If you think I did anything bad to deserve what happened to me, apart from being high functioning autistic, the answer is nothing. However, the major difference is that I don't fool myself that a complete stranger could like me, and I have never had anyone love me or care for me or make a fuss of me. So, one just learns to do without. I'm not taken in by scumbags telling me how beautiful I am, how much they adore me, etc. I know it's a load of hogwash. The only people who believe that are people who have never thought very deeply about anything. They've never had to, because life hasn't been very hard for them. As for your empathy, I had some 'empathetic' people show empathy to me. What a load of hypocritical hogwash. None of them would put their lives on the line for me. None of them were actually interested in helping me. It was all empty words. So I don't have much time for empathy. medium.com/humans-being-humane/how-i-overcame-42-years-of-chronic-abuse-84dcd4885ed6?sk=016f26aa4f120907363e8245684e2bd7 medium.com/humans-being-humane/on-being-disliked-77395b49333f?sk=889ed99c465961550475b41fc44ed9be

Stupid? Really??

Wow way to judge.hpoe you never feel alone

@@shayshaykidd1740 I have been alone all my life. Autistic with several disabilities, beaten up, chronically abused, No help from a single person for the first 60 years of my life. The fact that I have been alone and have had to fend for myself has been the reason that I don't trust anyone - not a single soul. The lady got hooked because she didn't have a lot of life experience, was secure for most of her life, and there was a certain degree of belief that someone would find her attractive. I absolutely know that nobody would find me attractive and nobody would want to be with me, so if they told me fairy stories, I know that they would be lying.#

I think sometimes people move after a spouse's death because they want to avoid all the reminders that are in the town they formerly lived in, but it does seem that she would have been safer with a support system.

A partner is weird.

OMG this! Stores have warnings about scams where their gift cards are. Walmart not only have signs about scams but a video about it too that plays automatically. People need to be held accountable for their actions. Quit blaming the stores and websites when people fall for these scams even with warnings posted everywhere.

No victim. Only stupid people...😮

Yes, animals can make good companions but they are not able to meet all the needs of a human being, which is why people choose to remarry quickly after a spouse passes away. It's unfortunate that she made some critical mistakes...moving to the small town was one; she would have been better off in the same city as her daughter to deal with the feelings of loneliness, and she also would have been least likely to keep the romance a secret...perhaping sharing information with her daughter before it went too far.

Neither is man on the internet only after your money. I never said a dog would meet all her needs…men don’t meet all our needs either…? Not sure what your point is here?

Cinderella story has a lot to answer for...

Sorcerer's Apprentice.

Never met? Hahaha! Gimme a break!😮

I think as people get older, it can harder to actively participate in life....some are dealing with the loss of a spouse; some are dealing with their kids being grown and no longer needing them. Some are dealing with losing their own parents from old age, etc. It can be hard to get back out there and put your best foot/face forward under such depressing circumstances.

How do you know this? That she was facing federal charges for scamming?

@@Liahs333from this very video, they don't make it apparent but they mention the mom had become a money mule helping the scammers do this to others, in other words she was scamming by money laundering in different bank accounts and money laundering is a federal crime. She knew charges were imminent so she offed herself

@@malcriadamedina5358 I must’ve missed that. I’m sure at the beginning she didn’t think what she was doing was illegal. These con-men are very good at manipulating the victims with their lies.

like millionaires apparently!

They are extremely good at tricking people into thinking they are investing in some business venture or helping them out because they desperately need to get home to a sick child

No they wouldn’t but what people are forgetting is that the scammers work for months, even years getting to know them so these victims feel as though they know their “partner”. It’s not hard to see these people have been deeply manipulated. And most of these victims are not mentally unwell

Are you aware that a serial killer was on a dating show? Danger is everywhere. It's up to us to see and heed the warning signs.

By then she was probably so mentally ill she was clutching at the unbelievable rather than reconciling herself totally to the fact everything she had saved for, financially had gone

@14elvira14 - isn't that the irony of living in the "greatest country in the world"? -- There are so many lonely people, and when they find a partner, they sometimes take that person for granted, having prioritized the wrong things. It's a real problem.

Real men have no need for online dating.