Watching this, all I could think about was the sorrow of Xanthe (sp?), who at just 16 is unloved to the point where she has to go to the hospital for a head injury and doesn't tell anyone. When she does, they don't believe her. The contempt that her own mom had for her was so disappointing.
Xanthe looks tired from carrying so much doubt about her family and her place in the home. She's so sad and I imagine she feels like a dead weight in the house. She deserves to be loved.
Where did u hear she's 16? Because she is out drinking alcohol you have to be 18 in the UK to go clubbing and drinking alcohol...would also make her mother like 33...
I've never seen kids scream at each other and their parents with such vitriol before. It was pure rage coming from that little boy. Structure and discipline are necessary, but maybe the kids need to be listened to, as well.
I think you're dead right. The rage, language and name calling is very concerning - either there's some real frustration issues going on there or they are mimicking what they see.
thanks!thats funny you say that as they called us 'the series where they all got along!'..still in touch with them now and we've met up since a few times,pure respect for nadine and her family x
To be fair the farm dad probably ownshis own business and it's not so much his a workaholic as its essential or there is no business, no money, no house, no food.
I wish Red would've kept the sticker chart, because Spike really did seem to love it, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to reward a child for good behavior, since it's just a basic human need that we're more motivated to do better if there's positive feedback/results as opposed to being criticized constantly and not seeing anything come from it
i am so super positive towards him that i dont think he needed it...looking back i was annoyed that dan jumped ship on our home beliefs so quickly while i was away
OMG!thanks sooooooo much for this comment...we are all still in touch,we both actually did learn an awful lot from the experience!....the production team called us 'the ones that got along',we were the first ever mums to want to hug eachother when we were at the table meeting afterwards!
Red having to handle those kids reminded me of my dog as a puppy that I'm going to have to put down too soon. Doggo is still a spunky pumpkin; she will trot away extra fast so you have to chase her, but wont actually run...
That was one of the better Wife Swaps ever produced. When OLD (2009) shows are shown, some comments made aren’t taking that into account, writing nonsense 🙄!
yes!things have moved on!dan and i are now 53,still together and moved to newcastle in lockdown to get our dream house.Xanthe is now 35 and has done a business degree and her masters,now has her long awaited desk job (she never wanted to live my life of variable wages as a self employed worker!),spike is 19 (still a fantastic human being!) and has just finished 6th form college,then he went to work at camp america,is now planning travelling whilst working with me and my new decluttering business..NEWS we also had queenie in 2012 who is now 12 and has just started secondary school...kids all get along great,life is good!
The little boy, Harry really has concerning anger issues & is far too violent for a boy his age . . . . . he's going to be a nightmare in the years to come
Thats great to hear I know these programmes edit thousands of hours of footage to cherry-pick specific moments, so all to be taken lightly - TV companies can be very cruel sometimes in their efforts for viewers I hope Harry is appreciative to have family around him, and goes through each day with a big smile on his face 'Life is Good'
@@Spookystoriesbylia lordy she is certainly not boring!she felt under pressure with the camera there thats all,she still to this day hates having her photo taken
so its super hard from my viewpoint as i am close to both of them.this means i know both of their view points very well and i then have to keep it all to myself!
This is the first episode I see where nobody is nasty or dumb! I think in both house with rules was proven to be better than without rules (who would've thought that 😉).
I think the little boy in the disciplined family reacted like that also because he did not have a real father figure, which is hugely difficult for a little boy growing up. I also think he missed his mum a lot. I was so sad to se the relationship between the stepfather and Xanthe, she is ignored by both her mum and him, and is given no chance to improve because always feels like the bad kid. If you are constantly screamed at and being considered like the untrustworthy one and the bad one then that's exactly how you'll turn out.
Thanks very much,it was actually fun to film and we are in touch with the pinchin family still to this day!i no longer work in fashion but dan keeps the brand going.my dad died in 2013 and I had to declutter his hoarded home,people started to ask me to do theirs too and a business helping hoarders was born called mother clutter
@@milkymoo8252 he was indeed well behaved for 99.9% of the time so his outbursts are not a reflection of the whole person...hes in his 20s now and very happy!
I don’t think jealousy was ever an issue between us.yes we had problems as does any family with teenagers but we are now best friends.xanthe has a successful career after going to uni.
why on earth would you allow a small child to scream and shout right next to a horse no hat no nothing good thing that horse didnt spook its a no no as i would not allow it near my horse.
so here is the funny and hugely happy end to the story...lily the middle daughter is now one of the top UK jockeys,she is AMAZING!i'm so proud (week long mum) every time i see she's won yet another race...google her lily pinchin.
its not in my nature to shout and scream,i see losing my temper as a weakness.i was brought up in an extremely violent scary household,never wanted to bring that to my kids,tried my best
@@MotherClutter did I say u have to shout scream and be violent ? What part of what I said was that? I said put ut foot down..which means be authoritative and be the one in charge and not get walked all over...how does that mean getting violent or shouting?...
@@bernice-um2gb as its a family business this wasnt particularly kind..BUT we shut the shop way before covid as the lanlords were just pushing and pushing the rents up so we moved online,dan's still making item,s that are selling now on etsy but now i work in mental health,i fell out if love with fashion
Oh my that lil boy has quite an attitude!!! Kids learn real easy how parents treat one another and they learn more from the same sex parent so seeing that dad takes advantage of the mother... it's not surprising to see how the cold behaves to the mother figure!!
I had my first at 15 and the mother that used being a young mum for an excuse to emotionally neglect her own child is disgusting. I would do anything for my children, even when I was 15
Wow hell No. That child would b brought to his father an left for him to deal with .... Hatred an this kind of behavior is disgusting. Its embarrassing an shameful that. This little boy has to act this way for attention.... 😢
i think he was missing his mum and actually most of the time he behaved well but he had little control of his emotions when he didnt get his way BUT hes grown into a wonderful adult,now in his 20s!
@@rebeccarudkin5606 so the good news is that change is possible,things got a lot better for them after the show and they are still together so childhood romances can last forever!
not true at all...they are both the two closest people in my life,i hear fully from both of them their opinions of the other,as a lot of parents with a new partner i have to be diplomatic to move forward without starting constant battles
@@LionelWayne-je4vv 15 years on they get on just fine,we christmas together we holiday together..xanthe is unrecognisable in this footage,she is a 35 year old confident boss lady type now,tells me what to do and how to do it!haha
I fully understand not wanting to follow the crowd & not wanting to another dairy cow!! But when she said she had a problem with respect I instantly thought wow, you should be desexed & not allowed to raise anything!!
So someone makes a statement and they should be sterilised? You sound reasonable. Maybe she should have therapy before being forced to have her ovaries removed?
ouch this a little nazi-ish...i just couldnt say that to ANYONE even hitler himself,forced steralisation because i said i had issues with respect?i grew up in a VERY violent home and so respect is a hard subject as i had to deal with a parenting style with forced respect instilled through fear.if thats your parenting style then that is indeed your choice but i know from experience it doesnt make for a happy home.
Felt sorry for the kid who screamed he hadnt had his tea, hes used to his routine...if my kids never had proper food with knife and fork (no matter how much they ate) they would say i havent eaten...they used to eating proper meals
When i was a little kid i loved being carried from wherever i had fallen asleep to bed. I would do it on purpose. To me it seems like a similar thing. The kids obviously miss their dad and they like the interaction. The young boy is probably faking being asleep so he can be carried up by his dad
Those kids are way too old for that tantrum behaviour...probably the routine was too much for them so they started bugging once they saw the opportunity but that isnt normal
i am called lisa...i always hated that there were 4 other lisa's in my year at school,seemed basic so i went out of my way to name my kids with unusual names,my choice and spike who is now 19 has always liked his name...we also now have queenie who is 12 (what do you think of that?!haha)
@MotherClutter i remember your episode andd how lovely Spike was and i love your kids names ❤ you did well to keep your cool with harry. I had my son a couple of years after this and he didnt ha e any rules because i had a helicopter mother and i was a child from hell and he was really good and i think its because he didnt have anything to rebel against and we had open communication. I cant believ Spikes 19! Hope you're all doing well love from Scotland
I've had my share of freaky clothes in my youth, but Red's family are just very strange and I can't fathom why they would wear them now they are mature 😂😂😂😂
Agreed.I would never present myself in public with the choices Red has made, much less as a mother! Children learn what they live and my opinion is such lack of structure, decency the future doesn’t bode well for children missing out on these basic childhood learning opportunities. It restricts the child’s opportunities. Most of us have done things we would now do differently having grown up but there are others who seem to be in an arrested state of development and never grow up to meet their potential. I get the impression individuals retaining such very immature behaviors can’t really be enjoying their lives, the red woman said without flinching how she would have to give up “me” time and admits she is selfish. I thought parents always sacrificed for their children. The other dad she said “You are selfish you admitted as much” and at least he had the maturity and mind set to say he draws the line when it is affecting the children. That is the way decent people would react. But there will always be those who whine and complain when their own children end up in trouble its everyone elses fault. No one would give the help he or she required! Isn’t that primarily why we have parents? We depend on our parents for much longer than most mammals, tells me children arent able to make adult like decisions until they are at least 18 years old give or take.
Ive always remebered this episode andd i was brought up like the "posh family" and my brother and i were little shxts so i brought my son up with no rules and hes done really well for himself and jas always been well behaved. I think its because theres nothing to rebel against and he talks to me about everything and now hes grown we're great friends.
Gives millions of people mental breakdowns, like some jobs do except this “job” you cant leave, you can’t take holidays, and you hope for a little 🤗 here nd there just to say thanks for providing “perfect house, outfits, x3 meals, school run and meetings, club drop offs and ect)..,, yet a parent makes one mistake has a breakdown and called toxic… after 20+ years off doing it unproblematic. 😂❤
