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3 BIG red flags I used to look for during my time dating. 1. How do they treat their mom. 2. How do they treat service employees. 3. How do they treat animals. Gives you all the answers lol
Sometimes how they treat their mom doesn't always work out. I dated a guy for 3 years and he was a complete ass. Very mentally abusive and would gaslight me all the time. I was young with very low self esteem so I endured it. However, he treated and talked about his mom as if she was a saint. They were very close. He was also sexist and a misogynist. I ran across him a few years ago and he still lives with his mom. Mind you we are in our 40s at this time. When I think about it it's kinda weird, the relationship he had with his mom.
As others already said, the mum one doesn't really work. What if he comes from an abusive household? Then it would be much more problematic if he still insisted on his mum being a saint, instead of protecting himself from the damage abusive parents can cause. Just a reminder that most families aren't happy rainbows and usually it is NOT the children's fault.
i think the first one should be how controlling is his mom or dad? any signs of attention seeking control freak? how far does the apple fall from that tree if so?
Met her online. She arrived at the coffee shop and told me how excited she was to get her kid back. I asked what she meant, she goes on to nonchalantly explain that last week she had attempted suicide and had been on invol observation status at the hospital for a few days, later today the judge was granting her custody of her kid back. I soon after excused myself to the restroom and totally bailed, blocked her number and online.
I had one! Met a guy who was a friends friend. Went to the beach. He did many weird things but the highlights were 1) as we were leaving the beach an older couple came toward us with two pug dogs. He proceeds to get down on all fours to play with the dogs, and practically french kisses them. 2) as I was leaving that night he proceeds to say his father kept a black book of sex conquests and he’s trying to beat his score. Then goes into details of one sexual encounter where he described the girls kinks to me. Ran out of there very quickly after that.
The drunk chick at 2 in the afternoon, who wanted to continue drinking...that wasn't a red flag...that was the whole dang Red Army, in full parading march.
Pretty sure you went out with my former, childhood best friend, haha. She is very beautiful so men tend to ignore drinking and bad attitude, unfortunately. She is also a professor now and students see her drinking like that. I saw her once at 3 pm sitting in a bar with the school principle and there were 6 beers on the table. She was yelling at him becouse she was losing in a chess game and called him names. I went away. During collage she would drink a whole bottle of wine every day while studying and weekends were for "real drinking". She would go home last, still drinking at 6 am. I would sit alone in the corner of the bar all alone, compleatly sober since I don't drink begging her to go home. She would also get aggressive and attack men, slap them and whatnot. Again, no one reacted becouse she is a pretty woman. Drinking is a terrible red flag!
I had a fat crush on this guy I met. We would have cuddle sessions here and there and I believed I started to fall in love with him at some point, so we have known each other for quite some time, however we decided to go out one night and I honestly did not know that this was going to be my last date. He had been living with another roomie and told me that he just up and left the apartment… with no notice to the roomie. He had planned this for at least two months and he told himself that he would eventually tell his roommate that he was moving out but never did. The day he moves out finally comes around and he just told his roommate that this day was his last day in the apartment, and left… Me, working in property management at the time, explained to him about what he did was fucked up and illegal in a sense, and the importance as well as the morality as to why at least a 30-day notice is required. His response was “Well it doesn’t really matter, because it’s not like I’m going to see him for the rest of my life.” This was also after he was rude to the waiter that served us in the restaurant, which was very embarrassing. I guess I never realized how self destructive his personality was. That was the last time I saw him, and made sure I would never go out with him again.
After the flood in my home town, they told us to conserve as much (underground well) water as possible. A simple guideline: "If it's pee, leave it be. If it's brown, flush it down."
Went out with this guy my senior year. He shows up in a weird Jeep. Couldn't really tell what it was. That wasn't my issue though. He barely talked to me on the way to the restaurant, and lit a joint on the way. I was turned off before we even made it there. I started talking about an old boyfriend the entire time we were there. Had him take me home afterward. It worked, he never called me again.
22:40 that herpes story is commonly used to end dates with no second date. It's her saying she didn't want to see him again. Obviously he didn't get it.
Yeah, but it also allows her to believe that it was the affliction, and not her deceptive personality and obese appearance, that kept him from wanting to pursue her. Much less hurtful to the ego in denial. In a few more weeks she may even be able to imagine him heartbroken by her sad news...
Yeah…had a buddy that used that line to drop dates or women until one replied “Me too! Let’s go back to my place and fool around.” He never used that line again…lol
Just happened: Had a date planned with one girl(second date but it was kind of a friend situation), at the last minute another girl (girl 2)who I had been vibing with very well asked to meet me for a first date that night. I didnt want to shaft the other girl so I told #2 I couldnt that night(but could 2 nights from now) . Next morning Girl #2 tells me that last night she took a pregnancy test and was positive, this after she told me how she didnt want guys with tons of drama in their lives. Even if nothing ends up happening with Girl 1, she accidentally helped me dodge a major bullet.
Met a girl on pof and had a small conversation of about 20 messages each. Decided to meet for coffee. After we got our drinks she said we should walk to the nearest walmart(less than a mile). When we arrived we ended up in the sports sections and she told me to pick a baseball glove because we were going to play baseball at her family reunion. I told her I didnt know her well enough to do that. She threw her hands up and said "if you dont come we wont have enough people to play! Way to lead a girl on." And stormed off.
About the Plenty of Fish girl: because herpies matters much more so than looks. If someone is pissed that you're fat, they dont even have to stay the whole date, but STDs/STIs can have lasting consequences! I'm glad she has integrity about what counts.
Went out with an older gentleman on a senior citizen dating site, met at a resturant for breakfast. Tells me about himself and I tell him about myself. He casually mentions that his ex wife was murdered...one night she was taking out garbage and she was shot by a teenager...uh...yeah. Ended that date quickly. Few days later he texts me at 9pm asking me to come out to his place, sends me a photo of his fireplace telling me how nice it is. Mind you, I had to get up for work at 5am. Told him it wasn't happening as I had to work in the morning. He tells me to "think outside the box"...I blocked his number. To hell with that crap. 🤨
In our first date, the guy was nice during a dinner and was very passionate about politics and his art. When I rang a few days before our second date to reschedule because something came up, he got angry - told me off, called it disrespectful and lectured me about being considerate. Noped out of there.
1.) He didn't want to play pinball. I had already put in quarters for the both of us, and he just didn't want to play. He thought pinball was lame. 2.) In the end, there wasn't chemistry. I wanted to try and befriend him after our initial date (dinner and the auto show in the city), but he told me that my dream for the future scared him (mainly where I'm moving soon, this was JUST before COVID), and that was enough to make the both of us think twice about the other.
I did the "what would our baby look like" thing to an ex-bf because I didn't want to be with him. this was high school. he was a creep, basically went on a rant for an hour about crap I don't even remember when we had barely said 5 words to each other. all my friends said run and I didn't but dipshit wouldn't take a hint. only thing I got out of that "relationship" was a hoodie and a love for Bruno Mars. literally, this dumbass told me to listen to Grenade after I told him I never wanted to see him again. The following year I had a guy chasing after me constantly while basically being a complete asshat. every one of my friends told to get as far away from him as I could and I tried to listen but he kept following me. every conversation was him talking the entire time about the Air Force or planes or whatever crap along those lines. I got nothing against the Air Force but you won't stfu about it I don't care or want to be around you. one minute he was ranting about how great a f16 fighter was and the next saying he was going to off himself cause his police officer dad called him a slut. he even went on and on for 2 hours about what our life together would be like... -_- yes you read that right. dipshit had everything planned out, down to my freakin wedding dress and kids names. no questions asked no if ands or buts about it it was decided. this was the same assclown who two minutes before was treating to end his life for being called an idiot by my friend. I dumped both of these aholes before "date 1" even ended. why do I get all the stupid aholes?
One saying that's helped me live a better life is this one: "If it's between me being f-ed up and all other people being f-ed up in the same way, it's far more likely that it's me who's f-ed up." Taking responsibility for your behavior is the key trait of a mature human being. Blaming others for your own problems is a heinous thing to do, Cuz that makes you feel vindicated in causing misery to innocent people and/or judging them unfairly. It's like a person who says "all of the ♂️or♀️ in my city are stuck-up b#$£es". Really? There are thousands of single ♂️or♀️there, & they claims that they can't find one good one? Whose fault is that? It's their fault. Their acting lazy & unfairly judging thousands of ♀️or♂️ Cuz of their unwillingness to take responsibility for their failures. To quote Mark Manson: Our minds are always looking for ways to avoid pain and failure & rejection, & so they constantly churn out rationalizations to keep us impeccable; it’s them who f-ed up, not us. We're fine. We did everything right. It's that f-ed up world's fault we're not happy. Blame is yet another form of neediness. It’s prioritizing others over yourself. As long as it’s their fault, then you don’t have to make yourself vulnerable. But when you practice taking responsibility for everything that happens in your life, you stop blaming others. It becomes less a question of blame & more a question of sacrifice. It’s no longer their fault that you’re still single Cuz they’re all cold b%$ches, But now it’s your fault & a question of whether you’re willing to sacrifice the extra effort or not to find a ♀️or♂️ who isn’t a cold b%$ch. Taking responsibility & morphing blame into sacrifice empowers you. It puts the ball in your court & returns you to the healthy reality that the only person in this world who determines your success & failure is you
Honestly, scary movie girl sounds like a winner to me. I would just politely say, "hey I'm at my limit for tonight" and probably go back for more later, lmao.
Some red flags to spot is how someone treats someone in customer service if they talk about their previous relationships or if they don’t ask any questions about you
At the movie, her eyes were on her phone more than the big screen. So forget discussing the film afterward because she wasn't even paying attention. At dinner, she didn't ask me any personal questions or reveal much about herself. And her phone stayed on the table the whole time. Afterwards, she said we should do it again some time and I literally laughed in her face. Not interested in dating just to give a pretty girl, who isn't even putting out, free dinner and a show.
I have only dated one person my entire life. It was such an unfavourable experience that I have refrained from ever participate in dating again. My first, "girlfriend," is my last. I learned a painful lesson that I care never to repeat again. If this means never having another girlfriend, nor friends, so be it. There is no life necessity to have a girlfriend, nor a boyfriend if you are so inclined, nor friends. Realising this was the best thing that could have happened. Now, I am unbreakable, can never be used, betrayed, nor painfully abandoned again! Dating is indoctrinated into the public as being a necessity. It is never questioned as to why it is supposed to be considered a necessity. Nor, is a reason for its supposed importance ever given. Truthfully, it is not a necessity at all. It is not even something important. It is merely for entertainment, if one is so inclined to find that behavior entertaining. I found dating to be stressful, and forced. I will not be subject to presenting myself for the approval of a stranger ever again. It serves no purpose for me.
I’m intrigued. I don’t know how old you are, but if you are young (any age below 65) I wouldn’t count in having this mindset forever if I were you. Not that it’s bad at all, you do you, but I think over time if you let it be, you’ll find yourself back in the mindset. Humans are social animals, we long for social interaction whomever that may be. Yes there are different types of mentality & some cases where there is an actual disorder, but those are more extreme. If you are healthy, social interaction will come around one way or another. We also tend to change over time, maybe you’ll lean more into your ideas here in that time, or start to change to another mindset Maybe not now, maybe not in 2 months, but I say it’s too soon to declare anything like this. Take me for example. I hate driving & still do, though to a lesser extent. But not long after a year of saying this, I got my driver’s license even after failing the first road test, & managed to drive for almost 5 hours straight with 2 breaks in between for a road trip vacation.
The guy who watch 3 horror movies and has anxiety issues. That sounds more like you have a problem than the girl you were on a date with. If anything she dodged a bullet from you.
Met a gal online, asked her out on date, really nice person who was mature and put together who teaches 3rd grade. Problem is her life revolved so much around her occupation and her students that’s all she talked about, no disrespect but I’m interested to know more about yourself not just your job, NEXT
lol. I’ve gone out with a dude for free food. It wasn’t a second date. But a second time he asked me to meet. I told him it wasn’t a date and I didn’t want to. He said he’ll pay for food. I said fine. Because my favorite type of food is free.
Dude really let shaving his back stand between him and a potentially great relationship with a hot girl who admitted to having a crush on him. The lack of effort is profound.
I was thinking the same thing! I mean, he could get his back waxed... Or go out on more dates without taking his shirt off. Maybe she would've fallen in love with him and then the back hair wouldn't have mattered??
Gotta wonder how many of these could've turned into good second dates if you called them out on stuff / gave them the benefit instead of being passive aggressive judgemental a-holes that act like anyone doing anything that you don't approve of this unforgivable and they will never change. Also gotta wonder, how many stories like this that these people are in. Hope these people don't fall off their high horse. Threads like this help me understand why the world is as messed up as it is and I hope they grow up.
“I gave her a call and we went to the mall, we enjoyed a couple of slurpee’s. It’s been two weeks or more and I’m pretty darn sore, found out the old bag gave me herpes...”
Ok but that veggie free one hits different for me because my best friend just broke up a few months ago and her ex is also a friend of mine and he is the opposite of a vegetarian. He exclusively eats meat.
Is he also proud of it like he's keeping a promise to his 8 year old boy self? Can you see how that is a flag? Does he earnestly not like any vegetables, or does he like being the guy known for never eating any vegetables? Does he quietly go about his carnivorism, or has he fashioned it into a major component of his outward identity and made himself known for it? My insufferable "friend" is of the type I've described. He has single-handedly made me sick of all pro-bacon propaganda! I never even realised my great aunt was a vegetarian for many years, while my flakey cousin was a "vegan" before he even stopped eating meat.
@@WinkLinkletter he's very quiet about it, it just comes up whenever the question arises where we're going to eat or when we're meeting up for a party and someone has to get snacks, lol. It's just really fucking funny to me, like, he's weird but if he wasn't he wouldn't be my friend.
I got a story for this one.short version. on a pof date I met her exs mom, brother, dog, and then later the ex on a date. she was trying to make her ex aka "friend" jealous. and the first time she tried he wasn't around so I ended up meeting the fam.
Honestly the one with the chick that liked horror movies sounded like HE was the bad date lol, he didn't say anything she did wrong, just liked horror movies, I don't see the problem 🤷♀️
19:24 Never thought I would comment this under one of these videos but I'm a single machine learning engineer and I'm super interested in self-driving cars and completely agree with this guy! I would love to meet a dude who also enjoys talking about the wonders of modern technology all date long! Can someone please forward his number to me? 😂
@@wolfieisacat13 RU-vid took 2 years to state you made a message. I guess even RU-vid knows you are so stupid they don't bother attempting to forward your messages in time.
Does american 25yo's look that young?Hell,15yo's looked like middle aged man in my country.I'm talking about beard and shit lol.I'm 15 and people thought I'm an adult lol
There is usually something going on with people who make what they don't like a big part of their outward, immediate personality. Plus, doing so over vegetables is classically puerile. I have two friends who don't eat veg; one doesn't order them, the other tells everyone he's not ever going to order them.
