Wisdom of Coach Sauers 

"You cost me state!" "I GOT you to state." Careful Hank, salt tablets don't treat burns.

Imagine if him and Cotton got into a fight.

"Coach, I've developed gout from excessively high sodium!" "TAKE A SALT TABLET."

You cut out one of the best parts! When he sees Hank and his friends after so long, the exchange is hilarious. "Gribble....noones killed you yet"

Player: "Coach, I just learned I'm HIV positive." Coach Sauers: "Take a salt tablet."

“Hey butterball. Drag the body back.” 😂 Coach wasn’t going to let the kid get away that easy.

My favorite moments in King of the Hill were always when the writers looked the audience dead in the face and said, “The old ways aren’t always the best ways.”

Coach Sauers sounds like the guy Hank met in anger management who died of a stroke barking at Dale.

I had a coach like this in high school. Old school, hard nosed, chain smoking biker, but you could always tell he loved his players to death.

Coach chasing the kids in his car literally is still one of the hardest time I laughed at any show.

That bit with the kid going straight to the soccer team is gold

He called Bobby Butterball. That had me cracking up every time he said it 😂

Damn you left out my favorite part: "Do the helmet test!... The helmet test! Put on a helmet and run into that brick wall!".

Notice how coach Sauers has an almost geometrically perfect square head.

When I was in school there was a math teacher like this guy. No matter where you were in the school you can hear him screaming his head off. Teachers would constantly have to close their doors to try to muffle the sound. I eventually had him for study hall for 3 months at the end of the year for my last class of the day. The first day someone walked in as the late bell rang because he couldn't find the place and the teacher cussed him out screaming at the top of his lungs, threw his stuff across the room, told him to get out of his classroom and threw a desk at him as he was leaving.

02:23, "It's the collating, that's where they screw ya." Something about a incredibly serious person go off topic for a second always makes me chuckle.

How are we going to win State if we don't get to State? Now get out there and get me to State!

I used to live in Texas when I was a kid and believe it or not, I used to have a P.E teacher in kindergarten who was like this guy. This is a certain Texas high school football coach stereotype he fit so perfectly. This is true to life. I remember thinking to myself, even at age 5, "I wonder if this guy used to be some big shot high school football coach or something and now he's mad because he's stuck having to teach a bunch of kindergarteners?" He was sexist and everything! This montage from King of the Hill was pretty much exactly what I pictured in my mind when I thought about what the deal was with that teacher, even though the show wouldn't exist for another 7 years! I always wondered if there was a specific person/people that Mike Judge knew, that gave him the idea for Coach Sours, Coach Kleehamer, and Mr. Buzzcutt on Beavis and Butthead. If I ever get the chance to meet him, I'd love to ask him that. Btw, in case you were wondering, they guy's name was Coach Queen, or McQueen, or McLean. I don't remember exactly. He worked at Lake Dallas Primary School in Lake Dallas Tx in 1991.

This is why they don't let R. Lee Ermey coach anymore

Player : " I'm pregnant " Coach Sauers : " Take a salt tablet "

What is this "He/She", Some kind of science fiction deal?

“You precious little candy-ass” this has me dying

My coach (that won me state ;3 ) was the literal opposite of this man. Assertive but not aggressive. Prioritizing safety. Simply supplying instructions and corrections to be made. That was all that was required. No screaming. No scare tactics. I could never be motivated by that. Made it gently to state and I got first place. (Massachusettes. 2009, level was unimportant) A lot of other gymnasts would have angry yelling coaches at competition. I did not envy that.

0:40 thank you sir

Coach: “Coach again? I QUIT!!!” Hank: “Uh, it’s not really a paying gig.” Coach: “...thank you, sir.”

ME: Coach I just found out I have cancer COUACH : take ah salt tablet

1:31 correct reaction to being told it’s your fault the team lost when you carried the team to the position they got to.

You didn't include the best part, where he runs into them and he reacts to seeing each of them decades later.

"I quit" *7 seconds later* *gets job back* "Thank you sir!"

WHY, YOU PRECIOUS LITTLE CANDY ASS.

the delivery of "you precious little candy ass" will always make me laugh

"The leprechaun floating in the air behind you is telling me to burn things, coach." "Take a salt tablet."

"hey Butterball go drag the body back" 🤣 "Take a salt tablet"

"Hey, butter ball. Drag the body back." XD haha! That one had me dying. Lol!

"im gonna chew ya up, spit ya out, take a big dump on top of that" LoL

Coach Sauers and Cotton Hill would be best buddies.

A real football coach!

My favorite part was the very first scene where he's meeting the guys. "Gribble! .... No one's killed you yet."

What is this He/She? Some kind of a science fiction deal?

Mr. Stark, I don’t feel so good... Take a salt tablet!

Coach: I quit! *slams his whistle on the counter* Hank: Woah! This isn't a paying job. Coach: *boss hands him back his whistle* Thank you, sir. LMAO!

Player: Coach I have COVID. Sauers: Take a salt tablet.

"Why you precious little candy ass"

My HS coach was EXACTLY like this!

I like how as the last kid tried to escape he literally had him dragged back to the torture lol.

“Hey butterball, drag the body back.” 😂

"Why, you precious, little candy ass!" 😂

Props to Hank standing right in front of that car like that

I had a football coach who was a Marine with experience in Afghanistan and even he wasn’t this much of a hardass.

“What’s this he/she?” “Some sort of science fiction deal?” 💀

One jumping jack, two jumping jacks, full extension, very nice.

A little bit of a tangent, but if he was an actual good coach, he'd have more than just one accomplishment (taking Arlen High to state ONCE). Sounds like he got lucky with a good squad once, and thinks he's an effective coach. If his methods were actually any good, he would have taken Arlen Hugh to state multiple times. Yes I know, Texas is a tough state for football, but I feel my point still stands. Hank idolized this man for years, and it took him being an outsider looking in to realize that Sauers is a crazy nobody.

Player: Coach, My head got cut off by ISIS Coach: Take a Salt tablet.

"It's the collating. That's where they screw ya." Truly words of wisdom.

I love how he threw a football over that distance so hard that it knocked a kid out who was wearing a helmet

"Coach, I think I hear voices" "Take a salt tablet"

“Hey Coach its 2023!” “Take a salt tablet!”

Coach Sauers. The only REAL MAN in existence!!!

I laughed really hard when he is chasing the football players with his car 💀💀💀😂😂😂😂

Bobby: Coach i think i shallowed too much mud. Coach sours: take a salt tablet. 😄

Voiced by Phil Hendrie, a comedy God for those in the know.

This guy coupled with will ferrell is one of the best episodes. Almost every scene is a laugh out loud moment

"What is this He/she stuff, some kind of a science fiction deal?" wait... no, dont ban me. *cries hysterically* I DIDNT MEAN IT LIKE THAT!

Player: "i think i have a hangover from last night" Coach sonders : "take a salt tablet"

“I caught ebola!” “Take a salt tablet”

BUTTERBALL CLASSIC

We all need a Coach Sauers in our Lives.

*”memorize it”*

The sound he makes when hank slams his hood 😂🤣😂🤣

Damn the cowboys could use a coach like coach sauers

I bet ya somewhere on this earth there is a coach just like em lol

I'm 35, so I think I was among the first who were part of that "everyone gets a participation trophy" thing. It just made me, rightfully, believe those trophies and ribbons had no value because I didn't really achieve anything to get them. Especially when the ACTUAL winners got much larger trophies and ribbons. I grew up ASSUMING the rest of my generation felt that way, but it turned out to be way worse: Loads of them never learned how to handle failure and losing. Like, AT ALL.

"Give me that ball or I'll slice your guts out hippie" lol

0:32, looked like he was giving him the finger.

The ending was the best part.

“I have high blood pressure.” Coach Sauers, “Take a salt tablet.”

Coach walking on kids: I'm walking on biscuit dough

Why leave out the part where coach Sauers run into a wall with a football helmet on?

Coach ran missions in the incountry in Vietnam. Treated his soldiers like family, his family like soldiers. Times were different.

Its the "thank you sir" that gets me

I say "take a salt tablet" in day-to-day life a lot more often than I should

Coach Saurs wouldn't make it in today's world where everyone gets a participation trophy and can't hurt anyone's feeling.

1:14 Hank’s face 😂

A coach like that would give me an anxiety attack.

ahh yes good ole character building ...miss these days

“Butterball.” Lmfao

“What is this he/she some kind of a science fiction deal?” It was Sauars…it was 😢

“Coach, I’ve got stage 4 lung cancer, they say i only have 6 months left.” “Take a salt tablet.”

when i think of every coach have encountered, i will always take a salt tabet lol

Had a few dance teachers/coaches like Coach Sauers, except they’re women and they screamed this kind of stuff at us in Russian.

Coach Whitey Saurs....if that's not a Southern name, I don't know what is.

We’ve all had a coach that was teetering on the edge of being like Coach Sauers, especially if you played any length of time in pee-wee.

2:04: Memorize it.

He/she. Talk about ahead of it’s time.

Feminist: "Ugh! men!" Coach Sauers: "Take a salt tablet!"

2:33 - 2:39 was a critical hit

2:10 "Look Coach, I just want to apologize for Bobby quitting on you like that. I know you spent a lot of money xenoxing these playbooks."

I feel weak lol when Coach Sauers says LET'S LINE THEM UP!

I know that the old coach is from another time and all, but he does have a number of points. Like, how all this crap of trying to make both teams feel like they're winners and handing out trophies to every one is just stupid as hell. If neither side feels like they could win or lose, then they feel like they don't have to try, if they don't understand that they have to try at something, then they'll start to feel like they should just get whatever they want without doing anything. That's not to say that the kids should be taught to try too hard, to the point where they try to cheat or other such things. But that putting effort into playing can not only help them possibly win the game, but that trying can help even a loss feel fun if you actually gave it your all.

Player: I have AIDS. Coach Sauers: Take a salt tablet lmao.