As a nifty fifty female, I can tell you that being older is so much about FREEDOM! You've gone past that "ticking clock" and have either had kids or haven't, but if you have, by now your kids are usually older and more self-reliant, needing less "mothering". And maybe because of your lack of egg viability, you really do start to care less about what other people think about you and/or the male gaze, and there is much freedom in that by itself. When I was in my mid-20s, I too had that anxiety of getting older, BUT now that I'm in my 50s, I enjoy my life much more. I wouldn't go back, even if I could. So enjoy your youth now, but don't stress so much about your pending older years; they're more fun that you think! :)
Ditto! I'm past the pause and there are so many things that are better now. Monthlies? Bah! Street harassment? Nah! There was nothing to be afraid of, it turns out.
I cannot tell you how much I love you for making this video. You articulated so well the horror of being a 14 year old girl, as well as the scary fenomenen of losing your "power source" right when you start feeling more confident about who you are. Also, that part about the Disney villains was such an eye opener!
Great video. I've been thinking about my aging more and more during the pandemic. My partner's father is telling his wife everyday that she needs to dye her grey hairs ASAP... meanwhile, his entire head of grey hair is apparently not a problem?? So tired of this toxic double-standard BS. That menopause quote from Fleabag is my personal liberation. It's one of the things that will get me through it when it comes.
Yah I also love in that particular dialogue from fleabag, how after all that discussion of how people don't flirt with you anymore when you're old, Fleabag immediately hits on Kristin Scott Thomas' character and gets promptly and sweetly rebuffed. So there goes the "people don't flirt with you anymore" idea, I suppose. I've been equal parts terrified and oblivious about menopause forever. But see according to Beauvoir and Waller-Bridge and du Plessix gray (and some of the older ladies I asked about this) it is not something to be feared but something to low-key look forward too :)
Reality is so toxic, right? Women get a triple dose of attractiveness in their teens lasting usually through their 20's - and the accompanying huge dose of privilege, so long as they are not overweight and take an occasional bath. Men are usually far less desirable to the the opposite sex until they acquire some wealth, seasoning and yes, a few grey hairs. Interestingly, women here are only concerned about the lack of SMV for aging women, not at all for that of the young men that they get to pick over, select/deselect and often humiliate in their peak of youth and beauty. I hear the world's tiniest, out of tune violin. Balance restored, the universe is just.
@@BigDawgTE sir that is so offensive to women. Dont you know that the patriarchy is against all women and it makes them feel less. Women are all at a disadvantage. We need to protect women. Incels like you are the problem for holding women accountable for their terrible actions.
@The Maven yes women get more attention when young. But as mentioned in the video is that really a good thing? Is it really a privilege?. I personally don't see it like a privilege and you do. However it can be both too. Meaning that yes, it might be a privilege for some people, but it is a double ended sword nonetheless.
I came here from The Take and I"m glad they've recommended your channel. You upload interesting stuff. I find it sad the way society looks at older and aging women. No wonder it is so scary for you all in this culture. I don't share those thoughts though; as much as I like to share thoughts with young women and girls, I like wise and smart women, those you can have a interesting conversation with and have thoughtproving information. That's something I find attractive. Too bad they tend to find me too young. :/
I'm here from The Take as well. I love her insight, transparency, and humor on the video essays. I'm a straight, white male in my early 30's, so by default, I don't naturally see many of these expectations we so often have of women or understand the pressures they need to work through. Cue 22, thank you for your thoughtful content. We all need to listen to more voices like yours.
Yes obviously society is very kind to older and aging men. Esp single lonely men that the media loves to constantly belittle. While for some strange reason glorifying lonely women as some sort of feminist symbol ... No karen, you're just lonely and trying to cope. It's ok.
@@3choblast3r4Men rarely offer true companionship to a woman. Partnered women are way more miserable than single women and that's demonstrated through multiple statistics. It's not so much society that vilifies single men, it's mostly other men and especially the Incel community.
@@3choblast3r4 Your definition of loneliness is not having a romantic partner. Women’s definition of loneliness is not having a romantic partner, or a family or friends. Most of the time people are gonna have 1 of those 3, if not 2 or all 3 of them. If you’re single, then you have your family and friends. Studies have shown that single women are more likely to be happier than married women.
I'm an old woman...I guess. I'm turning 40 this year and I love it. I started rounding up a couple of years ago in anticipation. My son is going to college and I will never have any more children. I can wear whatever I want, I don't have to look or try to look desirable. People take me more seriously at work because I'm less cute than I used to be. It's been years since someone last told me "Don't worry, you're still young. You can still get married." I never wanted to get married and now people don't really think to ask! It's freaking glorious!
@@meganelise277 It's kinda funny how we have all these articles about "lonely men" and how they need to do better. Meanwhile we celebrate lonely women for some reason? Ladies the cope will only go so far
@@3choblast3r4 Maybe society treats it differently but there’s plenty of both men and women that are happy and single/childless. Only isolation can really negatively effect mental health. As long as people have some sort of company, that’s all you really need.
Oh my god, I feel this angst towards aging SO much! When I found my first grey hair, I was only 20 years old and I felt like from now on, looking young would be an uphill battle. I felt this power in being young and beautiful, and I felt like without my beauty, society would listen to me less. Thanks for alleviating some of that. Because the thought of people not only listening to me because I'm beautiful, but because they see my power and competence and actually have respect for me is much more up my alley. I always knew there was a societal double standard, but I felt a bit powerless when I thought about that. Now I'm a lot more optimistic. You changed my perspective!
I'm in my 40s, and getting older has been great for me. I am stronger, smarter, more emotionally stable, more financially stable, and honestly i feel better about my looks, than i ever did in my 20s. and I've seen this with most of my friends, male and female. so, don't fret girl. it def gets better.
I had intense dysmorphia about aging when I was 24-25. I think it was my quarter life crisis. Thankfully now that I’m past that, turning 30 wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. And I confess I’ve used my youth before and enjoyed it, but always with a sinking feeling. For instance, when I was 19, I hooked up with a 30 year old guy. I remember feeling so desirable but then a quiet voice within me wondered what he thought of women his own age. Great video and very well spoken and impactful! I subscribed! Счастливо! 😘
As someone who's dated my fair share of younger women, I can say that it's often not so much a matter of choice as a simple lack of options. If a 40-year old, single mother turns you down while there's a cute 20 year old who shows genuine interest, it makes sense to choose someone who actually wants you, right?
OMG!! I f*cking love this. I'm 17, and I know that I shouldn't be so deeply invested in this topic but unfortunately, I have good foresight. Finally, I can go back to studying now cuz this topic has been giving me a headache for a while (I randomly focus on certain issues cuz I'm addicted to drawing conclusions, just FYI) . Honestly the conclusion that I had come to was that f*ck dating, my focus in life is gonna be on having a fantastic group of friends and an overall happy life instead.
Блин, спасибо огромное за это видео! Услышала о вас в каком-то из видео The Take, если ничего не путаю, и пересмотрела все видео одно за другим, пребывая в полном шоке, что у настолько классной, смешной, образованной и креативной создательницы всего несколько тысяч подписчиков. Надеюсь, это скоро изменится, вы этого заслуживаете как никто :) И теперь кликнула на уведомление о новом ролике (ДА, у меня стоит колокольчик! я в шести процентах!) сразу, как оно появилось, потому что дико интересно послушать, как вы рассказываете о чем угодно вообще. Но эта тема.......... Мне исполнилось 24 недавно, и я вот буквально вчера или сегодня утром лежала смотрела в потолок и думала вот эти все классические мерзкие мысли о том, что время уходит, я все менее молода и прекрасна, еще лет пять, и все мои любимые способы проводить время (загулы) начнут смотреться немного странно в приложении на мое тридцатилетнее тело, а серьезная доля социального капитала, зависящая от желанности и красоты, обесценится, и никто уже не будет засматриваться на меня в метро и писать комплименты под фотками. И, несмотря на весь бэкграунд феминизма и бесконечную рефлексию над гендерными динамиками власти, каком-то смысле это пугает больше, чем смерть, потому что всю свою сознательную жизнь (с того самого возраста, когда выросли сиськи, да) я считала привлекательность одной из своих главных характеристик и я вообще не представляю, как будет выглядеть жизнь, если она перестанет браться в учет. Но вы правильно сказали в начале, что это терапевтическая сессия, замаскированная под эссе: оно так и чувствовалось. х) Стало сильно полегче, так что спасибо еще раз. Буду пересматривать, когда опять закоротит на этой мысли. И еще в тему классных источников для размышлений: недавно напоролась на старую многосерийную документалку об искусстве Ways of Seeing от BBC (она есть на ютубе), и там вся вторая серия посвящена исключительно репрезентации женщин в искусстве и тому, как вся европейская история женской красоты и эстетики сводится к изображению женщин как предметов роскоши (а за этим следует и отношение к себе как к предмету роскоши - а если ты на него не похожа, значит, что-то идет не так). Не знаю, видели ли вы, но решила посоветовать, потому что героини этой серии тоже говорят о сходных ощущениях от попыток понять, чем они вообще являются как люди вне контекста красоты и всех её образцов, которым они пытались соответствовать с детства.
Sorry ladies..a dude here! Sorry to dispense you some bad news. Apart from the odd exception, men prefer ladies who are young and fertile..they just do! And here's some more bad news for you. Men age so much more better than women..we just do. Sure there are exceptions, but 9 times out of 10, a man at 40 just looks so much more younger than a woman at 40. Hey, I didn't create the universe! Don't shoot the messenger! 🫣🫵
I do think it's the power thing. Many men have told me I'm beautiful but very few want to date me. I'm kind but also very smart and make a lot of money. Guys noticeably pull back when they find out I have my own power.
That's just dumb (of them, not of you). When I was dating a 9 year older woman, she would often buy me drinks and whatnot, which was nice because I'm not very rich to begin with but it's also nice being with someone who doesn't treat you like a living wallet (which some women tend to do, even when they make more money). :)
@@Dhakadice most guys just don't care about a woman's ability to provide and the nuclear family back in the 60s or just literally every other part of the world except for the west proves that
I like your perspective on this. You have some great insight and your presentation is hilarious. My fiance and I have this discussion all the time since we're the same age and the expectation difference is really apparent. As a man, I think a whole lot of things would get better if men were less obsessed with power dynamics.
thank you v much! I mean the obsession with power is not just men's, I think an interest in / desire for power probably isn't that related to gender and more linked simply to personality traits. it's just that I think that women currently are more likely to / expected to / socialized to take the more circuitous route to acquiring power (i.e. instead of striving for power yourself get it through someone else's attraction to you, stuff like that)
I'm 31, I know that aging anxiety is worse for women but I remember the dread leading up to is. People calling me "almost 30" like it was a slur from 26-29. I was almost shocked when I turned 30 and life was fine. The idea that your life is just over at 30 needs to die.
There are tonnes of young men out there who are attracted to older women. I recently dated a woman who was almost a decade older than me (and already had kids). This divided my friends firmly into two main camps: A) Friends who were sceptic towards the idea of me dating an older woman (with six kids). B) So-called "friends" who didn't even care that I was dating her and actively tried scoring with her (even when I was sitting right next to them). My aunt met her 9 years younger husband when she was in her 30's (and she wasn't considered very good-looking when she was young). As a man who is neither Keith Richards nor Donald Trump though, I'm starting to feel that the end of my 30's also marks the expiration date of my dating life. :/ (I'm too old to have a career or make a fortune and older women can easily get younger men than me)
I turned 40 this year and I’ve never felt more powerful, more beautiful, or more at ease with myself. I definitely used to have that fear of getting older and hated the thought of my youth slowly slipping through my fingers. I don’t know exactly what brought about my change in perspective, but it’s probably a combination of things. Giving birth made me feel incredibly powerful and it made me truly truly love my body for the first time in my life. Obviously I’m not saying this prescriptively, as parenthood is not for everyone and childbirth can do a number on your body and mind, but this was so surprising to me even as someone who always wanted to be a mother. I also got a much better handle on my mental and physical health starting in my mid 30s. And because of my history with eating disorders, I don’t think I could have fixed one without addressing the other. I was almost convinced that loving myself as I was was impossible, so I decided to try to transform myself into someone that I could love someday, because I still thought I had to be “better” in order to deserve that love from myself. But wouldn’t you know, not only did I end up loving this “new” me, I realized that I was actually the same person I had always been all along. When I saw that at my core, I’m the same person whether I’m doing great or screwing up really badly, I was able to give myself so much more grace when I did screw up, and I was able to keep everything in perspective when I was doing great. All this to say that aging shouldn’t be something we fear. Getting to really know yourself throughout your life is such a gift, and totally worth the cost of a few crows feet and grey hairs. ❤️
The fetischizing of youth in general is very problematic, and leads to nothing good. Even less so for women, for reasons mentioned. This sort of... angsty, stressful rush it puts people in makes us make a lot of decisions that leads to us being more miserable than anything. Also, the humble book penis got way too little exposure.
You are confusing fetisch with behaviour induced by evolution. I don't think it is helpful to avoid the truth or to manipulate people via blaming and shaming.
Great point, I think it is interesting to view this topic in the context of modern youth culture in general, as it's still so new (a 20th century capitalist invention that virtually created a new consumer demographic of young people). As Anya pointed out briefly, there's a long history to men's desire for younger women. And it seems to me the advertising (that we're now so accustomed to) for this youth market would only reinforce and fetishize this. It's good for business not only because young women are beautiful, but because it plays on the power of nostalgia. Yet as so often in a consumer society, it's difficult to separate your deeper desires from the swirling advertising dreams. So maybe there's something to a man's personal nostalgia for their own youth that contributes to them seeking out younger women - maybe these women get caught in their gaze as walking advertisements for the carefree "good old days."
@@A_Corte I feel like this is a very boomer-specific phenomenon. Note how the men shown with younger women in this video are in their 70's, while young, good-looking men like Ashton Kutcher, Jason Momoa, Aaron Taylor-Johnson have dated significantly older women. There's also Cher, who's dated other celebrities 10-20 years younger than her. It's worth noting that the income gap between men and women born after 1970 is significantly smaller than older generations and feminism had become mainstream enough that universities offered gender studies classes in the 70's (meaning many 70's mothers actually had studied feminism academically). For those of us who grew up in the 80's and 90's, there never really were any "good old days" when men were superior to women (hell, two of the most iconic action movie heroes from my childhood were Linda Hamilton and Sigourney Weaver). Personally, I get more nostalgic about my youth with someone who is old enough to reminisce about those days than with someone who only likes the same music as me because her dad (who might even be younger than me) used to listen to it when she was a kid.
Thank you for talking about this! The Disney villain section really blew my mind. Tbh after how crazy this year has been I think I'm about ready to retire, and I'm only 23 😂
hi im brazilian and even i cant write english so well i can understand everything you say and i have to (try) say that you have one the best and funniest content of essay in the youtube congrats
When I was 8 years old, a substitute teacher was braiding my hair and found a grey hair at the back of my head. They teacher told me that having grey hair meant that you were wise, and the more you have them, the smarter you are. I'm a little conflicted on it now, but I'm still thankful for the little confidence boost she gave 8 year old me.
Yah I agree that it can totally be true in LGBT couples too but when thinking about this my theory was that in LGBT couples the distribution of power / vulnerability might not be related to gender or place occupied on the masculinity-femininity spectrum as directly as it is in cis straight couples so I decided not to mention it
I totally found myself in the fears that you stated and now that you've explained them and shown that they are not the whole truth I am so much more confident in my late 20s. Thank you! Amazing analysis.
Ok fangirl time, I couldn't stop thinking about the character Princess Caroline from BoJack horseman and her arcs about age, family, older woman wisdom and power, and I remember how awesome it felt watching her always getting unstuck from any situation with a youthful energy despite her age. She also found love, a family, and success even in somewhat of her ripe years by the end of the series. She is awesome
OMG! I just discovered your channel and your content, info, jokes, personality, humor, editing, set, everything is so amazing! I love and enjoy so much your takes! Hope more people find your channel cos is such a pleasure 😊
I like that you don't jump into extreme conclusions in your video, also you don't make debatable statements. Instead of blaming or accusing, you ask questions and analyze. I like the approach of unwrapping some details of the topics discussed and highlighting different aspects without judgement. Closing with expressing personal feelings makes the whole thing consumable. I think you are doing a great job putting together your videos. You definitely create value. I would love to see you being just a tiny bit more sanguine.
I want to comment, not only because I personally LOVED and could not agree MORE with everything you said, but also because I want to boost the engagement so that many more people get to see this videos. So much work, SOO GOOD!!! thanks
Dude thank you for making this -- I've had it on my watchlist for ages but been afraid to watch it since I'm having a lot of the fears you describe about nearing the end of my 20s. But I think you strike gold when you say that younger women being favored on dating apps is less to do with their youth and beauty being a "superpower" and more to do with their youth and inexperience being a vulnerability. It's easy to feel cool and worldly when your ostensible partner has never experienced the world. I've recently learned men in certain sects of Mormonism who practice polygamy have a habit of essentially manipulating, isolating, and love bombing teenage girls into marrying them and becoming sister wives in these isolated complexes. My friend currently has a 19 year old female roommate who this is happening to.
I started liking getting older because it brings me close to knowing who iam and what i want and i work alot on my self to be better , ageing is something natural yet we try to escape it , we should really focus more about the comfort we get with ourselves each year
Oh my, you are so smart and so funny, it is great to listen to you. I hope you just gain more power over the years which allows you more resources for these essays. Though if it turns out, that a well-rounded you has no need for them anymore. I am happy for it as well.
Hey but I'm a woman and I subscribed :( I don't agree that a fetish represents sexual attraction. To some extent it can. But aren't "step-brother/step-sister" porn genres popular too? That doesn't actually mean that people would be attracted to their step sisters/brothers. I think it's more about the scandalous, unconventional and almost prohibited nature of the thing. Like that is what gets them off and not wrinkles and saggy boobs. The problem with older pregnancies is not about infertility really, it's more about the risk of the foetus having congenital diseases that increases with the mother's age, same thing for the risk of complications during pregnancy or delivery. That's why older mothers are medically monitored more closely. I loved keanu reeves, and I totally agree with you on that part. I agree so much with the rest of the video. This has given me a whole new perspective (and maybe a new fear...) because to me, being afraid of getting older was, for the most part, related to my fear of death, and also my fear of failure (not having achieved much by the time I'm 30 for example). Youth is such a double edged sword that sometimes I feel like I don't even want it, since it's going to be taken away from me very soon anyway. I'm 23 now, and people always tell me I look 18 and that I'm lucky I look younger, and I absolutely hate that. Not only because it makes people take me less seriously, but also because, when I get wrinkles, I will no longer look younger than my age, and the same people who told me I did will now just admit that I'm old. Thank you for this video, I really enjoy your content and I loved your take on the subject. It's true that it gave me a new fear but it also taught me how to deal with it. I loved the various examples from disney characters to famous actresses to, my personal favorite, Alexandra Grant. I can't wait to have white hair and to be old, skilled and wise.
I'm glad! I'm really hoping for more women subscribers, at the moment it's like 70/30. I do not think it's fair to call sexual attraction to women in their 30s and 40s "a fetish". A fetish is usually when sexual attraction is linked to some specific peripheral object or aspect or body part that is not inherently sexual. Perhaps an exclusive attraction to post-menopausal women might be considered a fetish (although even that is highly debatable as there are plenty of other variants of sexual attraction that are most certainly not fetishes but also can not result in reproduction). But CERTAINLY an attraction to MILFs et cet., even an exclusive attraction to them, is not a fetish but a simple matter of preference. The attraction to women in their 30s 40s and 50s is simply a normal part of the overall attraction to women that straight men and other women-attracted people have :) About fertility - actually in the same Adam Ruins everything episode they discuss the issue of birth defects and apparently the chance of having a child with birth defects is like 1 percent in your forties and 0.5 percent in your 30s. So it's not as huge a difference as the egg-freezing industry would have us believe. I feel your point about adding new fears to the pile I certainly got really depressed when I found that study from the Atlantic article. But overall the other stuff about crones and powerful old women et cet I find very comforting and I'm glad you do too.
Everyone knows Keanu is centuries old. He does not age. Thus his wife is significantly younger. 🤭 Great video. Your analytical approach and rationalized opinions are good listening. 😄
THANK YOU for making a video on this. Superbly done and _such_ a vitally important and fascinating subject! Appreciate you and all the work you’ve put into this!
So wholesome and interesting. Really liked that part about disney villains! All this reminded me of a story from Ruslan and Ludmila, where a young man was trying to earn a girl's attention, but got rejected all the time. So, he spends all his youth on earning money, power and even becoming a mage. Then, he goes back to the girl, she finally likes him, but he is like: "Oh, shit, you are now an old lady, no, thanks, I don't want you any more". So, their desire for an ideal partner "young/beautiful" and "powerful/successful" lead to them both to stay lonely.
@@AnyaTurnbull It's a side-story, not the main plot. And I also noticed that in this fairytale-poem there are some things you truly understand as an adult. Like, the jokes about women Pushkin put there.
One thing I have learned from a lifetime of hanging around with students is that the young, beautiful and slim do not get to appreciate it because they are also often insecure and worrying about finding their place in the world, and how they are perceived. They do not see their own beauty and health, only their imperfections. It's only later as that physical peak fades that they realise they are very unlikely to be as good-looking as they were when they were 20 again, and they should have enjoyed it more than they did. It's such a pity that many people don't get to properly appreciate themselves, and understand the power that they have (at least in this limited sphere of attractiveness) at that age.
Making the monster your friend is like the wisest, most courageous, most intelligent, and most powerful thing one can do - I will love my pet alligator. Thank you so much for so much wisdome
This is interesting! I love how succession presented so many older women in roles besides a mother. Geri was one of the best characters of the show for starters.
I think, that it's not, that woman don't have enough power as an individual, but men aren't ready / don't want to deal with it by any means. Maybe it is about the vunerability that is easy to exploit, but i think, that standing before adult woman (don't have a word for it) could be much more intimidating. Count this as a bump
As always, excellent video. Very funny and very interesting. Thank you for sharing your own anxieties. I have to analyze more the villains from a social aspect. "Both groups are easier to vilify because of societal prejudice." 👌
I was happy to leave my 20's behind but I still felt so young. I was terrified to turn 40, though. There was nothing to do but accept it and make choices to look and feel my best. I'm 42 now and don't feel invisible. I think I look the best I ever did, but chose to indulge in the cosmetics and plastic surgery starting in my late 30's. Life is short, why not? Bold, colorful clothing choices and full glam makeup help me not feel invisible too. As for fertility, I was using contraceptives my entire adult life that all but eliminated that anyway. I feel like I never had it, never wanted it, and I feel just as "free" from it now as I did in my 20's.
I'm slowly re-watching all of your videos. It's such a tonic to see someone use dark humor to make sense of the world and the fact you educate at the same time is ridiculous. I wish half the scrutiny put upon women were put upon men, we might actually take a few steps forward without stepping backwards
What you say at 14:25 has been absolutely, 1000% true in my own life. When I was younger I got significant amounts of attention from men and as I’ve gotten older, stronger in my personality and more discerning about red flag behavior, the attention has dropped off almost entirely.
I'm glad you brought up power. Met some guys that were really into power couples. Wanting to date not just a girl that was any doctor, but a succesful specialist in a competative field.
In regards to the p*rnhub point, I think you are missing, that the search rank is not representative of overall desirability. For example, bondage is one of the most common search terms. But of course, people who are not into that will not search for *not bondage* This is why the terms milf and teen (creepy btw) are searched more often than *person in her 20s*
Btw if you should read this, please to not see this as criticism of your character. I am very impressed with your videos and your intelligence. While it might be true, that society underappreciates old women in general (assuming that cultural norm will not change), there are also a lot of women who are respected a lot and did change the world. As a physicist, Emmy Noether comes to mind for example. Many women become "obsolete", because they themselves only value their beauty, and never develop any other talents, their intellect or their personality. It might be, that it is not society undervalueing women, but rather women not being pushed into position, in which they have value even in old age. And that would not apply to you
I love how this playlist builds a tiny coming of age arc from Peppa to Potter to parenting in Big little lies to this. Also I've binged and ran out this channel so pls more.
What a fantastic video! You're so funny and eloquent and engaging. I'm 31 and actually looking forward to aging. I like the idea of being invisible to men. I'm bi, so sexual desire for and from men is still a big deal, but Idk, it has gotten less... angsty? I'm sometimes told I look younger, and the people who say it intend it as a compliment, and I wonder... is it really? It's a back-handed one, then. Like, gee, I'm glad I don't look like a decaying hag! At 31! lmao. I highly recommend Hacks. Jean Smart is the protagonist, and she's in her late 60s. The character is complex and is given depth and it's so good to watch a show with an older woman as the lead. Mare of Easttown also has a middle-aged lead (Kate Winslet. And Jean Smart is in it too!) And despite its faults (and those are legion), there's And Just Like That. Not as good as the other two, but it's still a show with three female leads in their mid 50s. Anyways, again, great video. You bet I'm gonna binge all your videos lol
I personally have always found power in women extremely sexy. To the point where I often lust after female bosses, teachers, etc., even if they aren't conventionally attractive (though if they are, that increases my interest). Really, the only thing that stops me from approaching most of them is the combination of there being a relatively low likelihood of them being interested combined with the risk of pragmatic consequences. If I thought there was a good chance a female boss was interested, and/or I was planning to leave the job, I might actually try to make it happen, but that is rarely the case. Maybe the relationship between age and power with women explains why I frequently find myself drawn to older women. I find young women attractive too, don't get me wrong, but most femmes I end up pursuing are older than me, sometimes by quite a bit. Of course, I'm also not typical myself. I'm both pansexual and non-binary, but male bodied.
I'm new here and I love this. I got a chronic illness at 35 and so gutted that I'm out of action until I'm gone 40 (if I'm lucky) and that I won't have kids and my useful (thin, sexual) life is basically over. Hopefully I can rethink this...
I came here from a recomendation of the channel The Take, just by looking the content of the channel and the reference to pop culture detective, I konw I find a good Channel, thanks The Take
For me it's not about "status" or even physical attraction. I'm 29. Women who are 10 years younger than me are fun and easy going. Women who are 15 yers older than me are confident and relaxed. Women my age are not fun and not relaxed. They are complex and demanding. PS: I'm a 29 yo Ukranian male and I'm more afraid of hitting 30 than russian bombs.
All of this! Men in my twenties thinking when I walked out the door that I wanted to find out whether they were attracted to me. No, I actually am not interested and if I find you ugly, it's kind of insulting. Also, it isn't a win to be the hot one in the relationship...I would rather be the "wise" one and have my partner worry about growing useless with time. Now I'm not "attractive," and it's given my brain a break and I do tons of things that matter deeply to me. Being a crone is awesome.
I hear the 30s are the best time in a lot of peoples lifes, as someone whos 28, Im a bit excited to enter my 30s...well I'm not dreading it anyway 😂 This video was great btw, made me laugh so many times while making your point!
The wife told me decades ago "your so lucky being a man; you age so much better US".....but now she looks great [67] and me being crippled @ 63 NOT SO MUCH !!! I STILL GET SMILES FROM MOST WOMEN.
i think the difference though is men fear death while women fear loss of youth (and of course death too lol). men don’t seem to be as scared of being 40.
I saw your recent video, which of course I knew had similar opinions before. I subscribed because your opinions where better said better researched and laid out then my own. I took a look at your channel. and it seems you are off doing other things and I wish you much success in what ever you do. I also hope you are safe and thank you for your comments about Russia and the world. This video: It shows you were not a one hit wonder creating another well written video, I know it is probably a lot of work to make them and certainly worth more then the you tube advertising pay. but please make more. Your mental health, I like that you are normalizing have mental health issues, and I especially liked the fact that you were better able to deal with them as you got older. I worry sometimes that you tubers especially women admit they have mental health issues and leave it there. Like there is nothing you can do about it. it undermines your points and asks the viewer 'why are you listening to me I have mental health issues.' as young man I grew up and I was told "You like female youth and 18-21 European thin make-up applied beauty" And it was powerful and it took a while to figure out that wasn't true. To make it more confusing there were maybe even are 18-21 year old white women who wear make up that I find attractive... it turns out that I find them attractive despite their young age and make up. this realization was freeing. now I am almost 50, and my body is failing me. aches and pains, worse I see my parents only 20 years ahead of me and they well. they don't give me hope... That said I am much happier now then 18-21 the sex is better the books i read a more interesting I think better, I wouldn't give up who I am now for that 19 year old's life. this is also just a comment to help the algorithm, much success in what ever you do, I am really sorry what is happening in Russia, and I do feel a bit guilty about the shit my country (The USA) did 1990's- 2000's to Russia that it seems my country helped put Putin in power, my country also gives billions to Israel and lots of other dumb evil shit. I will do my best despite what my country does but it doesn't look promising this election and I thank you for doing your best. Stay safe!
I've never heard someone apologize so much 4 things they had nothing to do with in my life. I almost feel sorry for you that you think so little of yourself that you need to apologize for the United States like you represent the whole country.
I'm gonna just be real - my part of the "men on dating apps look for younger girls" statistic mostly comes from the fact that there's a lot of girls in their late 20's and early 30's who are mothers - and what's more, they look it. Being a mid-30's guy who still hoped to have a sexually active "youth" before I got too old to meet somebody, I hoped to find somebody to explore my sexuality with who was, at least, in a similar stage of life as I was. I didn't care if that girl was 18 or 40, but I found that a lot of girls over 25 were on the app because they'd already started a family and moved to a "mom phase" where sexual attraction wasn't prioritized (God knows that's not easy if you're raising a kid!) and then something made them single. I guess my point is that there's this huge difference between men and women as they age - childbirth changes women. Some more than others. But I think that's a huge reason why younger girls are preferred - a lot of guys aren't ready to date somebody who seems too much like a mother, especially if the stress of it has taken a physical toll.
i actually had a talk about something like this today with a friend. i said i love intelligent women, i would love to feel like we both bring equal parts to the table, i dont enjoy the idea of me being the breadwinner while she just looks hot and cooks for me but my friend said he doesnt enjoy independent women, he wants to feel like hes in control of her, like shes experiencing life for the first time, through him
The studies on male and female desirability are based on average opinion. If I've learned one thing in life it is to find "your people" and/or "your niche" for whatever reason you want to meet people. In the area of dating, by finding "your people" (well, one person in my case :P), you're easily much more attractive than you'd conventionally be. How to meet someone like that (for any purpose)? I small talk around everywhere. It was a skill I spend some time into to learn it (best way to start: give genuine compliments to anyone you see, can't think of anything? There are more people around, eventually you'll see something that you can give a genuine compliment about - I suspect this is the reason why so many people like to talk to dog owners too because they are always adorable). Anyways Just some thoughts
to me it is kinda sad actually.. because i do like intelligent reasonable ~illuminated~ women. i do find it sexy. but it essentially never comes with youthful beauty, which i also happen to like and find sexy (in a more non-rationalizeable way)
