I love to see the personal growth from the female panelists! I would see it little by little from the beginning to end of each episode. But now I’m starting to see the difference from episode to episode. They’re really listening to understand. You can see that they genuinely want the best and are learning. I’m wondering if they’ll be able to reach the younger generation of women. I know most of the panelists are older. I’m wondering if they would have been able to be as open minded if they were in their 20’s? Keep up the great work bro. 💯🙌🏾👏🏾
In the end when things work the way they're supposed to the Men will dictate how a woman chooses to live her life just based on how a man move and operates!
From the perspective of someone getting divorced and 41 years old substance is when the other person is living in reality, understands the hardships of life and is your "battle buddy" not a princess
It baffles me that the most intelligent men we have don't focus on the fact that we are 100% responsible for 1. being the type of men we want to protect our daughters from, 2. planting our seed inside of women who we have no intention to commit to, 3. selecting women who are unfit wives/ mothers, 4. blaming the mothers for interfering with our relationships with our children when we made them our child's mother 5. blaming women for choosing no good men without blaming her Father for failing to guide and protect her from such men and 6. blaming women for being too masculine without blaming men for creating a vacuum due to the lack of masculinity in our homes.
Althought i agree with you, when do we start to place some of the blame on women?....it takes 2 to tango!....at what point do we start to point out have women are never blamed or held accountable for not maturing ?
I forget the lady in the center’s name, but unbelievable growth since the beginning of the series. 👍🏽 But all 3 ladies I commend. A vastly different energy than the 1st Table episode.
I agree, first couple of episodes she was triggered by everything. It made me question her comment that she had more male friends. Usually women that can relate to men so well aren’t easily triggered by their words.
Great talk... just got one correction for the ladies. There is a HUGE difference in the thought process of "letting him lead" vs "being a good follower". To many women think they can let a man lead, implying they have given him control. This is the exact opposite of understanding you are stepping into his frame and being open to feedback, correction, guidance, and instruction. I truly believe this simple change in mindset will have a major positive impact on womens outcomes. Just as leadership has certain skillsets and requirements, so does followership. Without trying to throw any shade... our sister Crimson Cure, has gotten married to an AWESOME man, while being in her late 40's/early 50's. There are good men out here, if these ladies can't find one, it's because they have red flags, danger signs, and police crime tape warding these brothas away. Ill finish by saying this: PROVERBS 18:12 - He who finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favor with the LORD ...YOU GOTTA BE A WIFE IN ORDER TO BE FOUND, you dont go the the grocery store trying to find fresh produce in the dairy isle. Once women start acting like wives, men who are looking for wives will find them.
To that woman in the center: you are loved, you are seen, you are celebrated! You’re a microcosm of the change we want to see. Doesn’t mean we have to always be right and you have to always be wrong, but knowing that you’re listening in good faith, giving our perception due weight, and taking steps towards becoming a more suitable partner for whatever (lucky) man you’ll find is truly AMAZING 🎉🎉 Keep going! This is the work that your grandchildren’s children will benefit from
Broooo Alan you dropped Diamonds this episode....Women are water and men are the river bed 🤯🤯🤯🤯. The whole panel was on fire applause to the ladies the Brother that's there this was the best episode to me
39:35 it's not a man's job to "work through your trauma with you." That's what a therapist is for. Your man can support you and encourage you while you get the help you need, but fixing it is NOT his job. So many women are telling men these days "you need to come to me healed", but we're supposed to be master mechanics for your emotions? FOH.
As an amateur when it comes to therapy, no we can't solve your trauma issues. But we have to be able to assist as we are assisted. We cannot checkout of that part of our mates development. That goes for both people in the relationship. Yet we can't, as you said, be expected to do all the work for you.
For instance, I'm not doing all of my child's homework, but I am there to help. They may even need my help answering at question times. But it is his/her homework.
you can't lead that which refuses to follow.imagine a general giving the order to charge and the soldiers all say I'm a strong black woman and you dont tell me what to do.the govt has made it impossible for black men to hold bw accountable for their behavior and that is why the men that are able to are leaving the country.unfortunately by the time women are actually looking for a good man they are older,like the women on the panel and the good men dont want the bad boys throw aways.
Brother, you continue to do the good work I've grown accustomed to. You have separated yourself and your product from a lot of the noise in this space. Continued growth in understanding, wisdom and the compassionate patience you consistently deliver 🙏🏾💪🏾👍🏾✊🏾👏🏾
Let me leave a positive comment as well...Overall a good conversation. Good to see both delegations speaking with each other respectfully. All the gender war shouting and performative theatre online is growing old fast. Props to you all. Thank you for allowing us to listen in.
Of hear we go.... Dude a "real man" ain't here to help a woman thru her trauma. Fellas you are not here to be anyone's therapist. Stop it. We are not therapist and you don't show manhood by putting up with a woman's traumas. She needs to go do that work on herself and be whole before she gets with you.
Healing can only come from walking with Christ. Some things we will be healed from at the beginning of our journey and somethings will take time. Christ is faithful. When you trust him and Marriage is what he wants from you, he’ll send you someone that will be able to walk with you through your trauma and healing.
I truly and honestly just love seeing beautiful, black women and men having a respectful conversation on our differences and how we can better our relationships. The best thing is you're all listening to understand and be better. You are all changing some people's lives. i don't know if you you'll get rich and famous but these conversations matter because it's black men and women insight to each other. that in most cases they wouldn't receive. Thank you to all the panelist for your time, insight, vulnerbility and overall honesty. You guys are awesome!
Men understand substance very well in part due to sports. We have all seen that basketball player that has all the skills and talent that just cannot be relied on in the clutch moments. And weve all seen that football player that by all observable metrics, isnt the best, but at the end of the game, when you only have one shot to win, you know that that guy is gonna make it happen somehow. Analysts call it the intangibles. When they talk about hustle or 'getting after it' or being an 'enforcer' those qualities dont show up in the stat line, but they are essential to the teams success. Those qualities and actions are what a man is looking for in a woman. Someone thats reliable in hard times. That we know is going to ride it out and go the extra mile to do what needs doing in a dire situation. To show up in unexpected ways in unexpected situations. Like Draymond Green choking that guy out when dude started attacking his teammate. Lol
To add on his leadership quote what does a good leader usually need? answer: a good subordinate. Now ask yourself if you seek a good leader are you a good subordinate?
When I call my Wife a Strong Black Woman she calms down....My wife knows if I say that, she is out of pocket and needs to get back to her feminine role.... We both pull in about 6 figures, but she knows we have roles....
The most substantial thing a woman can quote on quote bring to the table is femininity its a top tier intagible quality thats becoming a lost art in a era of feminized masculine women called alpha women.
The idea of to crave is more of a gesture that makes one feel irreplaceable the correct thing to be is irreplaceable ie be the place of rest and peace and he will visit you frequently so that he can be strong enough to bring you tribute for said respite that is substance and tribute is usually something you wanted a date night or help you with something you having with you need etc. Also to be a woman of discernment means you are one he can trust in counsel because you have disciplined yourself to choose well these among other pieces are the pieces of substance for a woman
Part of the substance is not weighing as much as I do as a man. That's character. If a woman believes weighing 175 or more is ok, that's a bad character treat. It lacks substance...
Alignment with self and center! For both parties! Don’t matter how much substance a woman has don’t matter how much the man has! If both man and woman are not in a place with them selves to receive it! Or give it! Love ya self like you want to be treated! And love others like you want to be treated! When doing one and the other don’t interfere with the other with the person your with, then thata substance!
5:13 This woman proved your point exactly. She at the end of her statement directed it back to her happiness and what she wants. She even went as far as to say that she'd be happy regardless of the relationship ending which is almost like saying it never mattered in the first place. These women truly fear giving their all in a relationship so they don't so instead they focus all their energy on self pleasure. With this mentality they'll never put in the work to sustain a relationship. She's only proven that she her happiness is her main priority because this will be the only way she can be happy in or out of a relationship point blank period.
I find it fascinating how the ladies need a disclaimer before that make a statement about women. "Ok, sisters don't jump on me." is an example of how difficult they believe it is to share a thought, opinion or observation without retribution.
I think that this sounds good, but it simply isn't a reflection of culture and reality. What I see here is that the women still want to have their cake and eat it too. The men here are soft-shoeing around the core issue.
28:00 that’s because the Colombian people still live under a matriarchal system. It’s got nothing to do with a good man or woman. Latino women understand the concept of men and women and who can protect the women and children
Simply put, the problem we face is that WE are not each others purpose for a greater good (family) it is no longer in American Culture and especially our subculture.....Love of self and kind are at an all time low. Listen to the music, that is one of the main indicators.
29:09 "A lot of dudes incarcerated, alot dudes (something else minority negative)" sounds like a bit from Derrick Jaxn. Aka the Kung Fu Pander himself, less than 20% of black men are in prison out of those 20%, 70% of them are wrongfully convicted. So to tell women most guys are out here in prison is paint a blanketed victim hood that women can claim. ASHAMED OF THOSE WORDS Alan !
I think substance is non physical like the lady said... I don't believe most men would say anything about a frequency, but I understand what he was saying ...😅
the substance segment kinda had me like mmmm...idk. if i had to check for substance its more in terms of...where are you intellecutally, how is your critical thinking, what values and morals do you stand on, how is your decision making from situation to sitauation, how is your advice, how are you with words in the way you address people and problems and are you emotionally intelligent, what do you find entertaining, what hobbies do you have (if any) and do they add to your overall growth and pursuit of goals or are they just hobbies, how do you use your free time, can i learn from you and if so how well do you teach, how is your commuication...how is your communication when youre angry confused or frustrated as opposed to 'happy' or in a good mood, are you open minded, how do you adapt to changes in situations/life, can you effectively help me figure out a problem if neccessary, do you operate based off ego and self interest more times than you do for your partner and or family ..i could keep going. idk guess substance just hits a little different for me. i think if most of that is a positive the rest can be worked on if need be and with that the overall essence and character is most likely solid. my mans in the coat sounded like he was headed in that direction but didnt really go in depth
26:43 This lightskinned woman with the raspy Remy MA voice, literally described a combative disagreeable woman in herself, but then puzzled by why men avoid her...you can't make this ish up
25:00 she don’t women that lead with money is masculine asf,one of them black women that you cannot come up with because she already see’s it as a financial equality and not a relationship. She saying one thing but means another. Most women especially black women want you to have a bag ain’t no come up potential, but then why work so hard as a woman jus to look for a man that’s equal to u in monetary terms and not if he has good character qualities to build off of
@@suraiyethe411 11:05 was all a bunch of words that really didn’t mean much. The ladies responses to that same question were much more tangible and real. His answer was not “substantive”.
She said "Women are in a selfish season". I woukd say that women are in a Bi-centinal. Season are 3-4 monts. The avaerage woman is too intitled and selfish.
@@wnttalk for this one can you tell me how far back it is. Im pretty sure im not the only one but could you give a brief synopsis of what the video was so we all can be on the same page?
😒 The women are far more receptive. There’s serious value to each female panelist participating more than once. By their own admission, there is a “listening to respond” gut reaction. But something about getting through a show…maybe realizing that it’s in good faith (maybe reflecting on some of the feedback in the comments?)…they become more reflective and less defensive. I’m beginning to learn that, when in conflict with someone who is emotional, it’s wise to listen and take notes. Step away and return when you’re equally calm.
I ain't gonna hold you, buddy in the green said a whole lot of nothing. When you have to be vague, it shows a lack of ability to articulate, which generally means you don't have a strong sense of the idea you are trying to present. I'm sure he recognizes what he likes when he sees it, but not the best at making it plain enough to convey, which isn't really helping the listener glean any real information, imo.
at least you are listening coz these has been my issue with you, men fit into the mold society (women) want. Men who against or move different are a problem i.e. Kevin Samuel may his soul rest in peace
the "season" nonsense needs stop, as adults you either are or your not so if your selfish you always were, its not some new season in which your character changed for a time, thats who you are an always will be unless you decide to make a conscious change in behavior
link to viral video??? people saying things like everyone follows every stories on internet, if you reference a viral video, at least show it or link to it
Alan please get another gentlemen to help represent the male delagation. All the hotep talk is exhausting to listen to. Very few of his statements are grounded. Everything with him is ethereal and meta. Sounds like nonsense half the time.
CHAPTERS: 0:00 - Introduction to Gender Dynamics 1:05 - Viral Trends in Gender Relations 3:23 - Expectations for Women in Relationships 5:51 - Men's Expectations from Women 12:24 - Understanding Women's Needs 14:56 - Taking the Easy Route in Dating 20:16 - Why Quality Men Are Exiting Dating 24:02 - Successful Women & Intimidation Factor 27:24 - Desires: What Men Seek in Women 30:55 - Leadership: Not a Top Trait for Men? 35:44 - Heartbreak in Modern Relationships 39:15 - Defining a Real Man 40:50 - Gender Differences in Relationships 43:50 - Women's Influence on Men 46:40 - Chaos: Women's Allegorical Role 49:29 - Receptivity's Role in Relationships 51:14 - Missing Elements in Modern Love 52:31 - Grieving Process for Men 53:45 - Concluding Insights on Gender Dynamics
God is missing. Addressing the movement in present are of the world. It doesn’t matter they don’t need to be harnessed they chose. By being a community we start being more in tune. Each one of has a name. That discussion becomes a relationship. Let’s not talk about what trend you and I have in common. We are drawn to one another but as a group to keep our math easy Die in diversity. Our egos carry to offense that’s why listening. Move right listen be still. Till we grow and be actually mature and not older kids
If you don't want them for their money, then say you don't want them for their money but for who they are. Don't say you don't need them to take care of you or you will take care of them in that sassy tone. It is very similar to the "men ain't shit" crew.
There is such a difference in energy in this episode compared to the first one. Everyone is at ease and building off each others thoughts. A balanced and productive conversation. Much love to you all.
This may have been a great conversation, respectful and all that, (haven't finished the video, just going by the comments) but 'just walked in the room..." woman is still overestimating what men are thinking about her. Sorry, but all her questions about why she's having difficulty because of all those accolades she gave herself, she's not seen as special as she thinks she is. And that disconnect is the source of her difficulty.
I hate when a direct question is asked and the answer is some cute poetic shit that didn't really answer the question. What is a fruit? "The earth receives seed, and in the end a human enjoys the result of the end product."..........I know that, but I asked what is a damn fruit 😂😂
Alan I love your work. But I find it funny that women are just now coming to these realization at these late age. When part of the reason men marry or engage in relationships is to sown seeds and raise lineage. Just my two cents
4:38 I think the selfishness comment is on point. My grandmother passed in August and I’d only see her when I was home for the holidays. One of my last memories was her telling her great granddaughter (one of my cousins) about preparing a plate or meal for a man and this college aged girl hit her with, “I’m not going be making no plate for no man.” I think that trickle down is that the next generations won’t have the skills to coexist and get best out of the other side. I think boys are inheriting this too in a reactionary sense. Patrice O’Neal has a theory about how most women don’t have game and he essentially mentioned how men are reactionary. He said we don’t instinctively hold your hand and rub our thumb on top, we do it because we think this is something you might like. Men went to war knowing we could die and many who play football know about CTE but are sacrificing it to take care of family, as well as respect is important to men so those who went to war and great athletes are well respected. So if men don’t feel they’re going to be respected for the hard work, they in part become more selfish as a defense mechanism. I feel like I do though as well. I’m married but my wife is very modern, non traditional in her actions and thoughts. So she will get an effort from me that shows that at times. A very good Ted Talk is called “The Beautiful Truth About Online Dating”. The two Asian ladies run a dating site and they mention the consistencies we hear about are accurate that men tend to go young (early 20’s women get the most hits for men of all ages) and women go for men in certain career fields, much of it is about status and finances. The part they call The Beautiful Truth is centered around how most people have a dating profile that says what they want (selfish) but the ones with the most success for long term tend to be when two people are putting out what they have to offer.
Definitely want another brotha on there ss well hes cool just from a different perspective. What doesn't get mentioned in these conversations sometimes is the impact of decent men on women in a relationship. Men definitely help women level up more than spoken about. Love these convos!🔥💯🙏🏿✅
What I would have given to have these conversations with older women in my circle when I was a younger woman… growing up in Africa all I ever heard was “get married in your 20s”. And I always wondered why? I had so much life to live and achieve but I was being shamed for not being married. Well, it took one awful relationship to rewire my brain and then I stopped aspiring for marriage and started doing the mental work-it’s hard! I have become hyper focused on me and what I want. I’m in my 30s and I’m trying to date but I’m going into it with my whole heart like I would have in a past- I am in my selfish season and I’m concerned with how it’ll affect my future.
Yoo it took courage to jump back in the comments and say I was not receptive my bad. She gained 200% respect from me and lots of other dudes like me that day👏🏿👏🏿
They’re not saying anything, lot of word salad and no meaning. Substance what’s your world view or vision for a sound future? How do you speak life, inspiration and motivation into each other? What’s your conviction towards the health and welfare of our relationship? What’s your love language? How should we handle “differences” in opinion, taste and style? Do we go to level 10 and make it loud and toxic, or do we sit, civilly discuss to find a solution that will heal, and move us forward?
That part around 40:30 about the woman ascending with help from a man, but she's not recognizing it and think she did it herself, this is what women like Tayana Taylor are like. I'm sure Iman's access and money and relationships helped get what she has now. A lot of these women like Gabby Union, Jada Pinkett, etc. yes they had careers before their men, but their men's value helped them. Look at other women like Essence Atkins or even Erika Alexander who is extremely talented but aint platformed right now, they in the game and didn't marry a man like theirs, and their careers keep struggling.
I’m really genuinely and thoroughly enjoying watching this channel grow… I will go so far as to say that this channel carries the legacy that Kevin Samuels left the in most honestly and healthy manner Since his passing
With all due respect, substance is none of that stuff. Substance starts with good home training, and the woman’s ability to operate outside of, or contrary to her emotions …as is appropriate for the situation. This includes, among other things, being able to hold her tongue, and not ‘misbehave’, while respecting & submitting to her husband’s authority & leadership …when she doesn’t ‘feel’ like it. It also includes being able to put the needs of the family above her own individual needs and wants …for as long as is required. Such qualities ‘only’ come from good, sound, healthy, patriarchal two parent household home training …& a sociocultural environment that reflects & reinforces those ideals. This is precisely one of the reasons why people from non-western cultures, tend to have more successful marriages and families, than their Western counterparts.
This talk lost me when the pandering started. It started with Alan. Women are like water, water gives life. Pandering and honoring are different. Next is Mr sir in green with the hat. Women are the most beautiful thing on the planet and most powerful. I'm unsubbing, as I did from lapeef. All these talks are a waste and keeping delusion as head above all. Anyway...gen 6:6
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