Women Reveal The Questions They Ask Men To Discover Red Flags 

One of my red flags is a woman who spend the entire date looking for red flags instead of trying to enjoy the date

If a woman asked me "is there anyone who would be upset to find out you are on this date" my response would be "Myself in 20 minutes when I get home".

What did you learn from your past relationship? I learned to be more selective of the women I date and to not just jumping into a relationship with a woman. I learned that while lonliness is hard, staying with someone who keeps hurting me is much worse. I learned that I want a woman who accepts me for who I am and aligns with my values. I've learned that I want a woman who listens to me and takes my thoughts and feelings into consideration when she does certain things that affects us. I've learned to no longer compromise who I am to make a woman happy. I learned I am not responsible for a woman's happiness. I can't make people happy. Happy wife, happy life is not true; it's toxic.

Anyone who asks "what is feminism" definitely has an answer in mind. That's not a get-to-know-you question, it's a quiz with right and wrong answers. More specifically it's an ideological purity test of a very aggressive sort. Any woman who asked me that would not get a second date, and would probably get a flippant answer designed to piss her off, something like, "I don't care enough about feminism to discuss the definition."

“do you belive in aliens?” I actually got a very similar version of this question on a first date from a 21 year old brighter than average college girl who asked me “what animal were you in a past life?” as we were walking from her apartment to a restaurant. My answer was an aloof “damned if I know”. She said “thank GOD! I'm so glad you're not some looney wacko”. The rest of the date was fun and we ended up happily kissing at the end of the afternoon.

Absolutely a deal breaker on the animals. Someone asking the feminism question in first date is the red flag. I can guarantee we would end that discussion when I insist she picks up the check, in the spirit of feminism.

What did I learn from my last relationship? Don't try to figure out what she wants to hear. Tell her how you actually feel and don't apologize for it. Some will leave, some will pitch a fit and call you names and some will stay. All of them will respect you and the good ones will stay because of that. Not because you can make her temporarily happy by telling her what she wants to hear.

If someone replied " i would create scholarships if i won the lottery" I'd be like "okay relax mother Theresa, this isn't a job interview"😂

Guys need to ask these two questions in return: 1) Have you resolved your daddy issues? 2) What have you done to overcome your fear of abandonment?

The frustrating part about the feminism question is they want men to praise feminism, be strongly supportive of women abandoning feminine gender roles etc but expect men to adhere strictly to male gender roles and archaic courting expectations. Like... you want me to be a feminist except when its inconvenient for you and you want to be a feminist except when any expectations are placed on you. Why are we lying to each other?

On a first date Don't talk about RAPE: R- religion A- abortion P- politics E- economics Do talk about FORD: F- family O- occupation R- recreation D- dreams

Is there anyone at home who would be upset to find out you are on this date? Yes. My dog. She wants me all to herself

20:10 "Even the people you think are perfect have a red flag." This right here. To me, the scouting for red flags is a red flag itself.

I don't know, maybe go on a first date without some plan to figure out red flags? See if you enjoy even being around the person at first; see if conversation comes naturally for both of you and if you can make each other smile and even laugh. A red flag is someone whose idea of a good first date is, "how can I trip this person up?"

Words tell you who people want to be, actions tell you who they are. I truly enjoy your videos, thank you!

What is feminism ? Simple...it means you buy your own drink as you watch me walk away....

If a date asked me what is feminism, I would answer: "That's a red flag right there, Bev, that's a red flag right there."

as soon i heard "reddit" i could tell this was gonna be from delusional women

Womansplaining is telling me how to mow the lawn or renovate a room. Explaining a woman's perspective is a joy to listen to. Thank you

Keep a first date light and fun. Everyone is on their best behavior for the first few months anyway. You will likely get answers that they think you'd like to hear, which may lead some to feel manipulated when reflecting on their remarks in the future. Spend the time to discover their character over a series of meetings. Observe their behavior especially how they treat the people in their lives that they are comfortable with, family, friends, co-workers, etc.

Based on these comments from women, it’s no wonder men don’t want to date anymore. Way too big of a headache

*"Is there anyone that would be upset to find out you were on this date?"* Like who....the FBI? CIA? IRS? Uncle Sam?

This is destroying dating, it is like a job interview

Green flag: none of these questions is being asked and both persons just have a nice conversation. 😊

When you learn that your first date is a widow or widower, it's entirely within your rights to ask if there was a sizable inheritance or insurance policy, and whether the police suspected anything.

People aren’t themselves on their first date because they’re on their best behavior.

On a date Her: What is feminism? Him: A joke

If someone who i recently met asked me a series of these questions I would feel as if I were on a job interview rather than a date. Asking these questions (especially if they're asked in sequence) would be a red flag for me. Most of the things you are looking for could be ascertained by just being with a person and observing their reactions as situations come up.

The best advice I have is don't think about what she wants to hear. Answer for yourself the way you think is best. Only then is your life truly yours.

Courtney you have exquisite taste and sensibilities. The more I hear from you the more I like you. Your critique of men's attire no-nos was spot on, and now that you say you don't like tattoos on women and wouldn't get one yourself, I think you're on the next level! You are so smart and classy.

Wow, the tattoo question brought a great response from you (loved the eye roll!) Regarding preferences, I know that there are a lot of women who won't date me because they think I am too old for them, or maybe not tall enough, or not good looking enough. Those are preferences, and I try not to take them personally. But if I dare to express an opinion like "I don't like tattoos on women", or "I don't date fat girls", I am labeled controlling, or a misogynist!

"Is there anyone that would be upset if they knew you were on this date?" Only the thousands of women that wish they were sitting in your seat

one good question that came in my mind at a date was: "if you could learn a thing to perfection in 1 day, what would that be?" we talked about that for 1h+ ^^

What did I learn from my last relationship? Not to ask questions like this on a first date cuz she gave the answer I thought was right but then I found out she was just telling me what she thought I wanted to hear 🙂🤣🤣

Many of these questions are red flags to me in itself. If I went out with a girl and she was bringing a bunch of negativity (the first two questions) and trying to test me (like the feminism question) I’m out. I go out on dates in good faith and to get to know them. I think more serious questions come later. Also, the fact this came from Reddit I knew would be a red flag in itself. It’s not a very diverse place by and large.

All you have to do to discover women’s red flags is to give them the silent treatment. They can’t handle silence.

To add to the question of asking about other women in their lives, women should observe how men act with other men. I've seen men be absolute sweethearts to all women but treat other men like crap. They're just kissing ass to all women to get on their good side but if they don't or refuse to get along with both sexes then that's a red flag. I've heard women say about some guys, "Oh, he's so sweet" and I'm like, "HIM?! Really?!"

Anyone asking most of these questions is a red flag.

Public comment. Ms Courtney you are down to earth. God bless you. Honesty and respect and understanding brings peace of mind ❤. Life has many path but one destination. It is important to choose the right direction and path in life.

Good for you Court, that you don't drink alcohol. I'm middle aged, and have had VERY little, alcohol. I don't drink because I have seen what it's done to members of my family, and that was a BIG eye opener for me. You made the right choice, Court 👍

The pet question: I love cats. However, our two cats have been gone for 30+ years. Losing them is so hard. I just really don't want to go through it again. I haven't had another pet since.

On one date, the woman jokingly asked me if I had any red flags. And I told her, "Yes, my favorite sports team wears red!" That's when I found out she and I rooted for different teams, haha

When Courtney speaks, I feel relaxed. No Serial Killer.

In contrast, men don't need to ask questions to discover red flags in women.

These questions aren’t for a first date ; these are questions for an interrogation ; what about having a date that is fun, informative, with low intensity questions. These red flag questions are things to ask after you’ve dated for a while.

I think a lot of these questions aren't so direct, but come across in the form of "shit tests". I dated a girl once that made a lot of money modelling, and she would go and blow it all at the casinos. She said to me on our first date, "I love reading Consumer Reports magazine because I want to see if I'm getting the best deal." This was a shit test, and her way of weeding out someone she perceived as cheap or frugal, which would not be compatible with her lifestyle. At the time I didn't know what a shit test was, so I just agreed with her, and there was no second date.

A lot of these questions I feel would make for a very uncomfortable first date, and if she's asking most of these, I would consider it a huge red flag. I would want to keep it more fun and light-hearted on a first date. Lottery? First hire an attorney trained in how to deal with lottery winnings so I don't have to personally claim it...would rather remain anonymous. Then, invest most of it, and if it was enough for me to quit my job, I'd move into a small house in the woods preferably on a lake. Live simply and off the interest on the money from winnings. Ashamed of from my teenage years? Maybe not taking care of my body as well as I should have. I've taken care of that now. Only wish I had done it sooner. Tattoo? I have a preference of no tats or small and tasteful, but who am I to judge what you want to do? Aliens? With all the stars and galaxies out in the universe, I have to think somewhere out there, there must be other intelligent life. Animals? Sure. Love dogs (especially big dogs, i.e. not ankle biters) and cats. Election? If she talks about politics on a first date, I probably don't want her.

The first question is not a good question to ask, most men would say no even if it’s not true so I wonder what women think they will found out by asking that.

If she asks you about feminism, she’s not going to add value to your life

I personally think it is a turn off if women are interrogating me instead of just letting the conversation flow and seeing if we have chemistry and how comfortable we are talking with each other.

You are just so good honestly. I see so many things on RU-vid about "not being a good guy" or how to be an alpha or high value man and stuff like that... I try to build myself an opinion but what you present in the end just seems to always be the most sane and good way to see things.

Yet again a very good video. Courtney, thank you for being so grounded in your perspective. You're as lovely as you are realistic about what actually matters in the minefield that is modern dating. I appreciate your practicality and how emotionally balanced and mature you are as a young woman yourself, and I applaud you for your sound advice here as well as so many of the related topics that you cover. Your level of communication is exactly what it takes nowadays and more realistically always should be the case between men and women, let alone people in general. I feel if more people listened and took your advice, the world would be a better and much happier place. Thank you.

Question #1: "Would anyone be upset that you're on this date?" NEVER has this been the case with me. Matter of fact, I'VE been the one having to ask my date that over the last 7 years because the women that enter my orbit almost never clean their plate....especially since Instagram came into the picture, my God. It's insane. My folks ask me when I'm getting a wife or having kids. I have to tell them it ain't happening any time soon. Unfortunately, there's a HIGH probability both my parents will be passed on by the time a significant woman enters my life, if at all. I'm 38, so the chances of finding someone who hasn't been married, had children my age AND dont have any serious character flaws is VERY slim. Question #2: "What I learned from my last relationship?" Love isn't everything. You need to be responsible about your finances, your time, etc. Also, There is no such thing as "soul mates". A successful relationship happens only when two people decide and commit to the idea that they live completely for the benefit of the other person, there is no longer an "I", but an "us". Most people nowadays cannot grasp that, which is why all these relationships fail. They aren't living to be of service to their partner and their love/affection is conditional. That WILL NOT work. Question #3--What was something I was ashamed of as a teenager?" Nothing really, truly. I was pretty chill and never got into trouble. I was (and still am!) REALLY into music and spent most of my time learning an instrument and listening to everything I could, instead of smoking pot, pissing off my parents, getting laid, etc. I wish I was maybe a bit more popular and I wish people came over my place to hang out when I was a teen, but that's really it. I was just a bit lonely. I dont blame myself though, because unlike other kids who grew up with the space to duck away from their parents, I had mine on my ass 24/7. I lived in a very small house and my bedroom was less than two feet away from theirs, so there wasn't shit I was gonna get away with. And it wasn't like I had super-close friends that would've let me stay with them if I got kicked out, so I knew better than to push my luck. As a side effect, I was seen as lame among my (spoiled rotten) peers. Question #4: "....Tattoos" Not into women with tattoos, as a general rule because it isn't feminine looking. It also screams you may have serious issues and you may have problems with impulse control. That is not a good indicator of someone that is good for a lasting, monogamous relationship. Plus there is nothing sexier than the clear skin of a well-kept woman. Tattoos make you look like you have a disease or something and it WILL (I repeat, WILL) look terrible when you get old. Question #5 "Do you believe in aliens?" Anything is possible. Do you think as expansive as this galaxy, universe, etc is, that we'd be the ONLY intelligent life forms? I can't imagine we would be. Whether you believe in God is irrelevant...do you think God would ONLY make humans? I dunno. I like to keep an open mind about this kind of stuff and simply say "I don't know". Question #6 "What is feminism" CHECK PLEASE!! Question #7 "Do I like animals?" Yes, but I STRONGLY feel that you should not own a pet unless you have the time, space and patience to properly care for one. You should not own a friggin Cane Corso living in an apartment. Question #8 "Who won the 2020 election?" CHECK PLEASE!!

The moment a date feels like a job interview it's a dead badger.

People get so caught up with what question to ask next they don't listen to the answer from the previous question .

I went out with a woman who had a pet Tarantula, named Annabelle (the spider, not the woman😁). Not the sort of pet I was thinking of when I asked if she had any. For the record, she treated it very well.

So much of this interrogation first date style can completely be jumped over if you get to know someone a little bit before asking them on a date. Dating should be, “hey, this lady I find attractive sparks my interest and I’m looking for a life partner so I’m going to ask her out to express my interest and allow us the opportunity to get to each other”. Most the time now, all we know is they’re physically attractive and we want to get in their pants. So many dating flaws/schemes would be avoided if we completely got off social media.

I think a person's actions are what counts instead of asking questions so much because people can tell some good lies about themselves. Spend some time to see how he treats other people and pets, etc.

I’m a male and a feminist ask away. My ethnic background and history reveals that it’s the same struggle for equality. I’d love to talk about it.

Oh hell no! If some girl starts asking me stuff like this THAT'S a red flag.

If only MEN had the dignity and self respect to walk away from the dating sewage.

Oh yeah, taking queues from a Reddit article is going to make for an interesting first, and most likely last date. "A census taker tested me once...." 🤣

There were some good questions (lottery, aliens, animals), but most of the other ones were massive red flags in and of themselves, that would have me pay the bill, get up and end the date right then and there.

Dude, Courtney. I just got out of a divorce in a toxic relationship and I LOVE your videos! I need to get back in the dating world! Thank you!!!

OMG you were so SPOT ON with about expressing preferences... Same with mansplaining - I get this a lot, especially when the other person does not have any substantial arguments. You prove time after time that you are 100% non-biased and objective, as well as deeply insightful. I love your videos and yourself for that. Thank you so much!

Those Questions are on a Job Interview.

If i won the lottery i would build a dome to prevent gold digging women from getting in. 😂

I like the question about “whether you are embarrassed by something you did as a teenager.” I think I didn’t care much about dating and about school and about really important things in my life that have taken a toll on me lately. I’ve been working on eliminating past experiences from happening ever again. I want to live happy to make sure that I become the best version of myself for the next 5 years.

I basically did win the lottery,Over the past 5 yrs, I donated more to help veterans than I spent on myself. Only this year I started to spend on myself

Some of these are really good and some not so much. The first question flew right over my head. Stop sugar coating and just ask the person if they're already seeing someone or not. The tattoo question is another one. Instead of coming to a potentially false conclusion that a guy is controlling because he simply doesn't like tattoos. Maybe the guy doesn't like them because his past experiences with tattooed girls led him over time to identify and associate particular traits in behavior or attitude that he found undesirable, especially when he compared them to untattooed girls. It would help some of these ladies to expand their horizons of understanding and to critique the effectiveness of their own inquiries. If a question poses the possibility of more than one understanding or misinterpretation, it would be a lot more beneficial to ask the guy to elaborate on his reasoning of opinion than to automatically make a bad judgement about him.

"What did you learn from your previous relationship?" I actually adore this question. I've become aware about how I perpetuated the way my parents treated me as a child and passed along that same treatment to my partner - for better or for worse. I think getting into specifics becomes gossiping and trash-talking and I don't want to do that. I just want to make a conscious effort in the future to think more critically about how I'm treating a future partner and not just passing along the same treatment I was handed. I like all the questions that are in this! I dislike how some of them have sneaky motives. I don't take issue with being asked "what is feminism". I just don't want to be ridiculed for "mansplaining" it. I think any question asked in good faith is fine :)

re: tattoo question. I find tattoo's distasteful. The more of them there are, the more distasteful it gets. So, it's not about me controlling, it's about me not choosing you if you get tattoos. You make your choice, I make my choice. If you have tattoos, you'll need to have some very serious positives to compensate for the negative. At this point, if you're about to tell me I'm insecure. Nope, think more deeply, I know it hurts, but you can do it.

This is the most fair and balanced channel I have seen. You have good input Courtney. Keep it up!

Politics and religion are excellent first date questions. Both subjects will draw out honest reactions and you can discover immediately if you are compatible.

I think the lottery question needs to be qualified by $500k, $10 million or $500 million. A persons answer may vary by windfall size

My favorite so far is "do you believe in aliens" - No, belief is too strong of a word, but probabilisticly there are most likely aliens somewhere in our universe. If a woman asked me this question, she'd get a response that involved the Fermi paradox and the Drake equation, not anything to do with religion or a higher power.

If I were asked these types of questions on a first date, I’d be compelled to ask her if she knows why she is still single.

I am upfront and honest from the beginning about myself with women. All of the bad things about me are told. Not too many have walked away from me.

Tattoos on women is certainly a red flag. She can do whatever she wants with her body of course, but men know that women who are covered up in tats are for recreational use only

For me, the political aspect is super important. I’m super into that and passionate about my country and it’s hard when even some of my closest family and friends vehemently disagree. I generally have to suppress that part of my interest but you can’t do that in dating, especially since it’s so important. There will be a lot of hard conversations as far as that’s concerned in my dating life.

Can you imagine a man asking these questions on a first date? 😅

Half of these questions sound like they are out of a job interview. If the first date feels like an interrogation or work, it is only going to get worse. This is what happens when women take advice about men from other women.

My response to many of these questions is: "None of your damn business". It tells her she can't poke around in my head on the first date. It says I am in control. It says learn some manners. But be careful. You may find it hard to get rid of her if you don't like her. Women love what they can't have.

i believe as a Christian that a devout religious person shouldn't go out w someone without making sure they're of the same faith. the Bible doesn't say to sit there and endure temptation but to flee from it

No matter how many questions you ask and they answer, the only way to get to know a person well enough to be able to make a good decision on whether to commit is by spending a great deal of quality time with them. You've got to be patient, and give it time since there's no fast food way to get to know someone on a deeper level. And you also need to find out (by trial and error) if the two of you are compatible or can make it work. Q&A won't do because people can and do lie or sometimes don't know themselves.

Oh I LOVE getting asked all the crazy/more "controversial" red flag questions! The thing most women don't realize is how much they are revealing about themselves when they go into a date like a job interview. I can just sit back & and gauge their mindset to determine if they were someone I'd get along with, which is all I'm looking for at this point: someone I can stand for more than 10 minutes. Besides, I could answer however I want & they'd never know if I was telling the truth or just telling them what they want to hear so what' the point??

Your reactions are golden! I think I'm gonna watch this again just for those 😆 The more I watch your videos the more I appreciate how genuine you really are.

Very well said on the tattoo question…. I feel the very same way. People have their preferences and that’s not controlling at all.

The thing about mansplaining that a lot of women don’t understand is that’s exactly how men explain to other men…

If someone says that they're going to get a tattoo, but aren't really going to do it, just to see what kind of reaction they're going to get, is kind of deceitful and manipulative, and that's a red flag.

really funny how half of these questions are red flags in itself. love your responses to it

Not having the security is the biggest Red flag for the low income

I just have to say, based on your responses to some of these questions, your husband is a very fortunate man. It's refreshing hearing your take on things. Thanks!

Re: the lottery question... Money makes you more of who you already are. It is a highly revealing question. It is also fun. So, it is a good date question.

Honestly Courtney is more than what I would love in a partner, love your humbleness tied with your style of humor

I live on a farm and eat most of my animals. The dog is an outdoor alarm and the cat eats mice. I don't obsess over them.

The tattoo question is more like a projection of the woman actual behavior (her actual red flag) rather than to provoke the red flag in the guy.

Thank you for the tattoo comment and the honesty that followed. That is actually a little bit of a litmus test for me. Am I allowed to express my opinion without her turning herself into a victim? You nailed it; I'm not condemning you as a person if you have tattoos, I'm just expressing a preference. If that is met with shame and apologies demanded, I'm out.

I love how you stand up for the men a bit, it's very touching. I think we need to end the gender wars and try to understand each other more.

Short of self destruction, narcissistic tendencies and impulsive actions. My mantra has and always will be.... " Your happiness is my happiness!!!"...