Hi my lovelies!! To be So transparent, Avery was SOOOO nervous this week! Last week there was a story about breastfeeding that Avery made some comments on, and he was so sad when he realized some of his small comments upset some mommas out there! Avery and I don't have kids, he doesn't have sisters and his mom isn't even alive anymore. He has had zero opportunities to be able to experience a new born stage, nor really talk to many people who have themselves, and has no way to have gained the experiences for him to know these things about breastfeeding! I told him this was a great example of "we only know what we know, and our experiences guide our opinions on things, but we can learn from each other through conversation!" He was still super nervous and worried about upsetting anyone again, but I think it is an overall great lesson that communicating and teaching each other is KEY and what this series is about :) If is OKAY to not know something and learn from other people! That is how we grow :D So if anyone is wondering why he was a little more reserved and quiet, that is why :)
Aww that’s sad, I don’t think we want him scared off, you two are so darn cute! I will never fault anyone for trying to gain knowledge and understanding, even though I went into that story hard core breast feeding is breastfeeding and no matter where or when it should allowed and further more if someone wants to comment theyyy should be removed from the area for sexual harassment or similar. However, that is not the world, and I see his side of her agreeing to it. Unfortunately she should have put her foot down before, as she had every right too, but she did agree to the house rules, so I guess that’s kinda her problem now 🤷🏻 love you both!! Also he is very much thinking like a lawyer. He seems to really be focused on the details of howww things were done, which is nottt the question, the question is, for what happened was the end decision made correct? Not how they went about that decision (unless that is the focus question). Can’t fault him for all that schooling and training teaching his brain how to go about thinking about things, with a purpose in mind, lawyering!
Being in front of a camera knowing thousands and thousands of people are watching and analyzing everything you say would definitely make me quiet and reserved. I’m glad most comments left are respectful. I love the model I use in class for sharing: “THINK” is it: True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, and Kind. Most of us, me included, need to think it through before commenting online and in person. I think Avery did great! Who are other guests you might have?
To all Mother In Laws out there, listen up! My Daughter In Law and I have a great relationship because I know my place. My place is just ‘how can I help?’ That’s it! Because I take that role, I get to see my Grandson a lot. My DIL and Son know they can call me and depend on me. I cherish my Grandson and spoil him a lot. But, his parents are thankful and we all have mutual respect. Know your place!!!
It sounds like you’re an awesome grandparent! I too love my MILk! We don’t have kids, but she’s very supportive in other ways! I’m so incredibly fortunate! I hope you’re having happy holidays! 💗💗💗
I sincerely love this. My MIL and I have the same relationship. I love her so much. I unfortunately have issues that block me from giving her grandchildren, and she wants them so bad, we both do. She is always by my side, encouraging me every step of the way during my journey to provide. And when it does happen, I know I can count on her to be there. My parents and her all have a wonderful relationship. I love them all and am so lucky and grateful to have everyone in my life.
We moved to another state to be closer to two of our kids and their children. Not just to see them more, but also to help when needed. My kids don’t take advantage of this. In return I am happy to help whenever I can. My own mother in law was a great example. Always respectful, always making sure we could parent, and not her. Know you place .
For the first story, I think OP needs to uninvite herself from the wedding. This is going into a toxic family with her eyes wide open. She needs to not do this!
Omg... I love it. 😂😂 I immediately thought.... Me: Loves kids and enjoys teaching Also me: Generally does not want to deal with children (mine are 17 and 21) when I am "off the clock". 😂😂😂
When I worked at Babies R Us years ago the worst customers were not the first time moms. It was the first time grandmas. They would try to take over the shopping brow beat the soon to be moms into agreeing with them. Get super mad when they can't find the things they used when they raised kids 🙄 and the face they get when hear most of that stuff was safety recalled. The worst!
In the first story, I would tell her to cancel the wedding, I don’t see him choosing to defend her in the future. She not going to because her feelings are involved but she’s going to go continue the relationship and her husband is going to continue to defend his mother.
@@danam774, agreed! He’s 45 & can’t stand up to his mother? Run, honey! You’re only 27, don’t waste your life with him. MIL will NEVER treat you or your children right.
Being upset about it is one thing. How he responded to it is another and if he's going to call off the wedding over something like that, he's not marriage material. It's okay to be upset or angry over something. But you are still responsible for how you respond to it.
Has anyone else noticed how Avery watches Rebecca as she is doing the intro and the outro. He looks so proud and in love with her. I love seeing supportive and loving couples like them 🥰. Yall are amazing!
Apple #4: I was in the same boat when my daughter-in-law learned she was pregnant with my grandson. She asked me to wait until after her 3rd month because she had suffered a miscarriage a few months before. While it was tough, I did keep the news off social media until after she posted the good news. And now I'm the proud grandma of an adorable 2-year old boy.
can we just take a break to appreciate Avery's juggling? that shit is waaaaaaay harder then people think it is! do you know how many time you hit yourself in the head or accidentally break something learning to juggle? let alone learning to juggle hard objects! Impressive work Avery!!!
Story 2…When someone that close to you dies, it is such a loss that a post could be made like that with no harm meant to the other set. It’s just a huge void and whole in your life. She didn’t mean it bad.
Story number 1, Good apple, however, if it was me I would leave the man, I feel that if he really loved me, he would stand up for me. This would upset me even more than what MIL did.
Honestly, I think as a culture we need to get away from the "but they're family" justification. It leads to a lack of accountability, bullying, and other forms of abuse. Attending a wedding is a physical representation of your love and support for the people getting married. If you don't welcome and display love for everyone getting married, you shouldn't be there. Doesn't matter how much DNA or past experience you share. You didn't invest care and positivity, you don't go. Edit: I appreciate Avery being here! We are all learning with these and often times the answers are not clear! :)
My MIL used the “I’m your family” and “blood is thicker than water” against my wife. My wife has been no contact with her mother for 2 years except for when her father was in a bad wreck.
I've always detested that 'but family' line of crap. 98% of my family is/was a putrid mass of self-serving trash heaps (think abusing your kids' SSN to get credit cards and worse). They get no passes from me. None of them were invited to my wedding, because they didn't deserve it. Sharing some genetic material does not make up for being truly detestable people. On the other side, my wife's family is... more acceptably malfunctioning. They talk amongst themselves and gossip and all but abandon you when anything actually challenging happens, but good lord does everyone want me to drop everything and attend every single family function ever, and get mad when that doesn't happen. Like yo, homies, I show up for big things, but tend to be working so your daughter can finish school (while living on a single income at the moment), so yeah no... maybe make one trip to see her in the entire 10 years we've been together? Her sister and her sister's husband are legitimately stand-up folks, though, and tend to pass along the new scuttlebutt so I can laugh at it. Crappy people will be crappy people, relation doesn't matter at all.
@@Deadpool0215 The funny thing is "blood is thicker than water" isn't even the full expression. The real version is "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb", which has literally the opposite meaning.
The 3rd story is just RIDICULOUS the fact that they are like "Oh since your Jewish you need to spend more money" that is DISGUSTING I celebrate christmas and I highly respect other people's religion I don't support ANYONE who makes fun of anyone's religion or disrespects someone's religion and Would NEVER make someone celebrate things I celebrate or make them spend more money
Story 3 is why I decided 3 years ago to no longer celebrate Christmas with family. Even my teens agree. I give my kids cash, gift cards and stocking stuffers few days before Christmas. My kids hated being handed $10(for both) in coloring books and markers while having to watch the others get hundreds of dollars in video games, VR headsets, cash and toys. Then told they aren't allowed to touch anything. I tried to tell them it's best we show up later in the day, but they started throwing a fit because they wanted us to watch the teens open their gifts. It's just to show off. Most of the year they beg me for money or expensive favors. This year we went to my hometown without telling them and barely answered the phone. They want it to be a yearly thing now to go out of town.
Story #1: I would uninvite him as well Story #2: She reacted out of guilt...im not apologizing Story #3: Absolutely not. I will give what I can. Story #4: It's their child My grandson is 2.5 months old, and my daughter hasn't put him on social media yet. She asked me not to post anything, and I haven't. When I get clearance, I will. All 4 good 🍎
As someone who has in laws that are petty and vicious, not always behind my back, first person is not a bad apple at all. And if thats the fiancé’s reaction, better to find out before the wedding. In laws will not change how they treat you.
For the Mother in Law story, I might recommend that the couple invite her to lunch. Ask the fiance in advance to support her by saying something like, "I want you to come to our wedding, but I can't have you calling my wife names." Then make it out to be a "compromise" that you will give in and reinvite her if she gives in and agrees that you will treat each other with respect.
About the first scenario, don't invite that woman to the wedding. If she allowed her to go to the wedding, the mother in low will never respect her. They have to set boundaries. The wife is now a member of that family, if she shows that she is a push over, it's going to be a lot more problems down the road. To make it worse, the husband is not going to defend her. Set boundaries right away.
Story 1 totally agree with you. You either split or should be a unit. My father's mother was mean in private about my mum, I personally feel that encouraged him to cheat. He felt his mum would support him. He's now disowned, no contact with anyone except his sister that likes to stir the pot. My mum also pulled right out and went no contact with my great gran after she started doing things like that about me. She said that my GG was not allowed near me period, he could visit etc but don't expect her to talk about her or let her near me. She wasn't letting anyone make me cry no matter who they were to me
One of my old schools had Grandparents Day where grandparents were welcome to come to the school AMD eat a catered breakfast with their student(s). Any kid without grandparents available got to sit with a teacher or this incredibly sweet old lady who worked with our school. She was everyone's grandma and made it way easier for kids who would otherwise feel alone on the day. I think some people also brought their regular parents or guardians instead or with their grandparents because if the roles they played in their life.
Hi Rebecka you've saved my life so many times, I've thought about doing BAD things to myself and just seeing you and your bubbly personality and how happy you and Avery are... (Sorry if I misspelled his name) it just makes me re-think everything I was thinking about. Thank you so much! I love you and your videos.
Hope you’re doing alright 🤍 I was in the same spot several years ago. No matter what, keep pushing. You’re valuable and irreplaceable, and your life has meaning beyond your wildest dreams. Hold on 🫶🏼
I feel all of these in my SOUL. My MIL is all of these. She's made horrible comments, posted without permission, yelled, cursed, and even once told my husband to "go away forever" (the RU-vid friendly version of the statement, as horrible as you can go, it was).
DO NOT marry him!! If he doesn't defend you now you're in for a lifetime of torture and frustration with him being spineless in regard to his mother. Let it go!!!
Apple 1: Good apple, good apple all the way!! And the fact that your fiance didn't stand up for you is a HUGE red flag. Let that sorry excuse for a man leave. Keep the almost sister in law and her daughter as a friend. Her daughter deserves anything and everything she wants
Story 1: the mother-in-law deserves everything she got. The girl should leave her fiance for not defending her and letting his mother say stuff like that.
I just want to say the smiggle shop is in Britain and is a stationary shop where you can buy bags pens pencil cases and also water bottles and also I just want to say these shops are aimed at more 3-11
Fuming 🤣 fUming! Love seeing you together. Smiggle is a kids stationery shop, pencil cases with calculators and pencil sharpeners hidden, loads of buttons then the bags etc! I don't know the conversion rate but one bottle, one bag, one pencil case cost me almost £60!
We celebrated Grandparents’ Day in Elementary School. Every year, the kids’ grandparents came to the school to spend the day with the kids and there were events planned by the school. But that all ended after Elementary School. Middle School and High School never did this.
Just got back from a vacation of nightmares involving my in-laws, so I have _quite_ a story. [Warning: LONG] My MIL moved to the state I was born in a few months ago, and wanted my husband and me to visit for Christmas. She made flight arrangements for us, and we packed for a week. Our Christmas Eve went well, save for a fight between MIL and her husband I slept through, then Christmas morning was good, with gifts and lots of chocolate. Evidently, I had too much chocolate, because I threw up. I rested, missing other fights, until I felt better in the evening when things exploded as I was awake. Christmas night was very tense, and stressful for my husband who has autism -- he was basically living in a panic attack while his mom was having yelling matches or crying. The day after Christmas, my MIL told everyone to leave for some food, and to give her space. Everyone was upset, sad, or angry except me in the car. I was just hungry, along for the ride, and trying to be an objective voice, or comfort my husband. I honestly barely knew what was going on at that point, just that my husband and his stepfather were being accused of plotting against MIL some way or another. When we went back, there had already been a lot of texting back and forth, and I knew things wouldn't calm down simply. I went into one of the bathrooms just in time to avoid another yelling match, where my husband also blew up, since he was caught in the middle of stress he doesn't handle well. I decided to get out of the bathroom without using it, and got in the car with our stuff. We drove to a motel for the night, and made plans for the duration of our stay. Luckily, I have some family in that state who were willing to take us in. An aunt happened to live in my hometown, so we visited them, and our vacation improved, though my husband was still processing throughout. Another aunt of mine took us to the airport after a night there, and the worst vacation of my husband's life _finally_ ended. He's still going through it, but at least we're safe at home, and much more comfortable.
My mother in law wrote my husband a little post it note and left it in his desk drawer for him to find while we were dating and was still living at home. It said "I love you son, you will always be my son but I don't like her and she will never be welcomed in my house" All because I had a child at 19 years old and she didn't want him to have a "ready made family". she also eluded to the fact that it made me a floozy. And I will say this, she had been a thorn in my side from the beginning and it only got worse through out the years. My husband never defended me because he doesn't do well with conflicts. But he also never defended his mom. I think our marriage would have been stronger had she not got into our business and got his family in our business. Always taking things out of context, always pretending I was always the bad person, telling her sisters who told their kids who showed up at our house to cuss me and threaten to kick my butt. She has since passed away a few yrs ago and while I'm sad my husband lost his mother (I wouldn't want anyone to lose their parent) I am not sad she is gone. It's been a quiet 3 years with very minimal drama and we now have the chance to work through our ups and downs without constant butting in.
I think a topic that should be covered is service dogs. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard stories of people getting angry over a service dog in a store or people with fake service dogs.
We call it a Granpals day. You can have a grandparent or any special guest, like an aunt, uncle, or godparent. That way even people without grandparents can still participate.
I was engaged and I was very clear with him and his mother that she was NOT welcome at the wedding. She was always negative and insisted on starting arguments every time I was around her. My exs pervious marriage ended because his then wife cheated on him with another woman while pregnant. My ex future MIL would stalk my Facebook and any pictures I was tagged in to comment things like "has my son seen this. How inappropriate. I'm calling him right now" on pictures that HE would take and I was usually around HIS friends. 🤦♀️this went on for the entirety of our relationship. When I came to dress shopping she basically said I absolutely could not wear white or anything low cut or tight fitting. That I had to be married in a church ( which I never planned on. We were discussing having his pastor do the ceremony but I wanted him to only do half and our vows and everything be made with our ordained mutual friend and a slightly more non traditional ceremony.) I had enough one day and uninvited her. She laughed until I deleted her off the website registry. Wedding planning actually went really well after that until his side chick's bf gave my brother the receipts that my ex was cheating with his gf 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️lmfao Don't have people who bring nothing but negativity around what's suppose to be the happiest day of your life
Yes, dying of a broken heart is possible. When you are really sad, you can get stressed. Stress can take a toll on your heart, mind, and overall health. The mother was dealing with a lot of stress which could lead to things like heart attacks.
I love it when ur hubby is with you for these. I love hearing you guys go back and forth. Hopefully next time he won't be so nervous. You guys are awesome.
👏to Avery for knowing exactly what Rebecca was expecting on first answer. Last week y'all were too perfect, That humanized y'all that it was more "let me give voice of rethink your answer because I feel attached to this question" and he did the good husband choice of rolling with it 😅 good apple
I love the banter between you and Avery!! Y’all are so cute together!!! I completely agree with you Rebecca, there was at least one very gross comment in these stories!! Who calls a person who is widowed/widower anything derogatory?!? Karen needed to pull the fangs back on that for sure!!! Much love to you guys and we’ll see you 2023!! 🎉🍾🥳🎉🍾🥳🎉🍾🥳
About the one with $600 for the teenagers, no one should be dictating the amount of money spent/given for gifts. I set my own budget and if that's not good enough for the recipient (or their parent), then I guess you won't be getting anything from me at all. These are gifts, not protection payments to the Mob.
This actually makes me grateful that my x broke up with me just over a year ago, because looking back I would hate having his father as an in-law. His father said horrible things to me and went off at me for seeing my family for one day during a very brief time covid restrictions allowed me to because to him the restrictions started then and not a week later. I couldn’t say no to him and he had to always be right and have the final say. Heck he even made fun of me and called me a child because I don’t like prawns. My x didn’t stand up for my when I tried to defend myself to his father and would just say things like “it was a joke” or “he’s my dad”. When he broke up with me he said “you know I can’t say no to my dad” (he’s 26) and I found out his father was the one orchestrating the breakup. I realise I was never in a relationship with just my x, his father was a part of our relationship too.
The big thing about the story with the woman uninviting her mother in law is that she did it without talking to her fiancé… that is his mom after all and it is also his wedding… just talking it over with him would have been the best thing to do before banning… in the end it should always be, if one person doesn’t want them there then they can’t come, but they should still both have a part in the decision making.
My husband and I got married without his family because of how they reacted to him marrying me. We didn’t even tell them we were married until after the wedding. I never did anything wrong but I have two children and I was divorced. What they didn’t know was my first husband abused me so I left that marriage. In-law issues usually with the mother in law are more common than most people think.
This first situation is an issue of her fiance not putting his mother in her place. If she marries this man she is sitting herself up to be on the wrong side of every argument.
I love your intro about not always agreeing and that is ok. More people could use help with listening and talking even if you may end up still not agreeing:)
Growing up, my then-living grandparents lived in Mexico while my immediate family lives here in the US. In the elementary schools I went to, “Grandparent’s Day” was celebrated on an annual basis and I still remember wishing my grandparents could come to class for the day like so many of my peers. Even now as a 25 year old, I can’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy when someone complains about “having” to drive a couple of hours to visit their grandparents. Flights were too expensive to go more often, so I was lucky if we could go once every four years and take the 8 hour+ plane ride to get there. I can’t imagine how different my life would be if they were that relatively accessible.
The main takeaway from all of these recent stories is that blood or marriage relations doesn’t give people the right to abuse each other and get away with it.
First off, great AITBA week! Second, I think it is so beautiful how much Mrs. Rodgers loves Mr. Rodgers. I think that is super healthy, and positive. It makes even me feel good. I love it! I don’t know what to call you guys-
As someone whose grandparents died when I was very young (both sides.) I still had an amazing time at grandparents day! My parents are generally older than most so my mom’s older sister came in as my Grandma! She is so sweet and I loved it! But, I completely understand how Story 2’s op felt!
I grew up without grandparents. If my parents died, and my partner's father died, I would 100% still be morning even years later. I wouldn't make it my whole life, but I would cry every now and then. It's not ok to shame someone for missing their PARENTS
Awww i so sorry Avery felt like that as a mumma I totally understood that issue and where he came from and as you ALWAYS say lol you do not have kids so learning from each other and that not everyone will see things the same way and omg Avery had me laughing so hard with the mash pot comment at the end it was sooo good and I hope he gets his grinch lol
The 3rd story is crazy, I would have gone so shit crazy! I wouldn’t have even gone to the party if every one is going to demand stuff. That rude behavior is ridiculous and I’m not a confrontational person so I would have just shipped some cheap gifts and put fake MSRP prices on them.
As a teacher of tiny humans, I don't do grandparents day. We do mothers and fathers day but it's open to any family figure. I've had grandma's, aunts and family friends come in on mothers day and uncles, family friends and grandfather's come in on Father's day. I try to make it as inclusive as possible
Grandparents day is common at my kids school and they usually have grandparents breakfast day a couple times through the year. I’m not sure this happens everywhere but it does where we live.
We had Grandparents Day at school once or twice and I always felt very left out. There was a morning tea and games and such like. But we had moved from the UK to Aus and there was no way either my grandmother or nan could make it. Flash forward a number of decades. Schools now host Special Person’s day - still typically grandparents day but inclusive for those kids whose grandfolks are dead/interstate/overseas/estranged etc. It’s a much better thing and it makes me both happy (that kids won’t feel the way I felt) and sad (that the foresight wasn’t around in the 80s).
Apple 3: lololol, you're the good apple. You shouldn't have given them a cent. And your partner is terrible for pressuring you too. Next time give them a $10 gift card each
I feel so bad for Avery because there are so many different personality types out there, there are so many different patterns for how someone’s brain is wired and I hate that he’s getting so much backlash because he’s has a different thinking process. He’s a logical thinker, that’s what makes him great at his profession. If I listen to what he’s saying while keeping in mind the logical perspective, every single thing he says makes perfect sense. Whereas if I listen through the emotional perspective I understand where everyone that’s pushing back is coming from. It’s not all black and white, and sometimes two people can have different thoughts and both be correct. Situations like these go deep AND wide. Sometimes one person is thinking deep while the other is thinking wide.
That’s why my husband and I work so well together and probably why Avery and her work so well together. My husband is a logical thinker and I’m more emotional. We relate our relationship to putting together a puzzle.. He finds the pieces while I put them together.
First apple should break it off with the guy. He didn't defend the woman he asked to marry him against the horrible things his mother said and expected his future wife to apologize....he's not the guy for her.
For the third story, I am embarrassed that, that family is Australian, and they deserve nothing at all for Christmas and she is completely a good apple and the father/husband should have done soooo much more.
My mother-in-law found fault with me in any and every situation. She said tactless and judgemental things to me every time we were together. My husband NEVER stood up for me. I finally told him I was going to contact with her to preserve my own mental health. She passed away about a year ago. It was extremely hard for my husband. I had not stood in the way of my children having a relationship with my mil. They loved her and they were so sad. I felt so torn between sadness for my husband and kids and relief that she wouldn't be judging and being mean to me anymore.
GrandParents Day is a thing at least where I live in SC. It would be the same as having Mother's Day and Father's Day stuff at school when there are kids who have lost a parent or their parent isn't in their life. It is also a holiday (according to Google) and is celebrated on the 2nd Sunday in September.
My school did grand parents / grand friends day. We would go show our grand friend / grand parents around the school and they would have a free morning tea.
