instead, own a rifle. according to history class, only 1 in every 300 shots fired from a musket would hit their targets. rifles had spinning ammunition which made them go faster and straighter, hence the term "rifling". *i can already see the nerd emojis.*
''Hi, I'm Saul Goodman, did you know you have rights? Constitution says you do. And so do I. I believe every man, woman and child in this country until proven guilty, is innocent. And that's why i fight for you, Albuquerque!''
Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
"In 1814, we took a little trip Along with Colonel Jackson down the mighty Mississip' We took a little bacon and we took a little beans And we caught the bloody British in the town of New Orleans We fired our guns and the British kept a-comin' There wasn't as many as there was a while ago We fired once more and they began to runnin' On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico We looked down a river And we see'd the British come And there must have been a hundred of 'em Beatin' on the drums They stepped so high and they made their bugles ring We stood beside our cotton bales and didn't say a thing We fired our guns and the British kept a-comin' There wasn't as many as there was a while ago We fired once more and they began to runnin' On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico Old Hickory said we could take 'em by surprise If we didn't fire our muskets 'Til we looked 'em in the eye We held our fire 'Til we see'd their faces well Then we opened up our squirrel guns And really gave 'em, well We fired our guns and the British kept a-comin' There wasn't as many as there was a while ago We fired once more and they begin to runnin' On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico Yeah, they ran through the briars And they ran through the brambles And they ran through the bushes Where a rabbit couldn't go They ran so fast That the hounds couldn't catch 'em On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico We fired our cannon 'til the barrel melted down So we grabbed an alligator and we fought another round We filled his head with cannon balls, and powdered his behind And when we touched the powder off the gator lost his mind We fired our guns and the British kept a-comin' There wasn't as many as there was a while ago We fired once more and they began to runnin' On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico Yeah, they ran through the briars And they ran through the brambles And they ran through the bushes Where a rabbit couldn't go They ran so fast That the hounds couldn't catch 'em On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico Hut-two-three-four Sound off, three-four Hut-two-three-four Sound off, three-four"
Well first of all, this is Yankee Doodle as maybe played in a Hollywood movie. It's far removed from how it was originally played (although I appreciate that the drum used is a rope-tensioned drum), and not even as a Civil War group would play it. It's way, way too fast, and the drumming isn't anything like any drumming played before or during the Civil War. Secondly, the tune itself was meant to mock Gen. George Washington - it was a British child's nursery rhyme. AND, the lyrics were made up by British soldiers with too much time on their hands. Riding on a pony???? This is the father of our country we're talking about on a child's pony. The macaronis were not Italian dishes but a group of effete, spoiled rich young men (wink wink) who decided to tour Europe. In Italy they discovered that men of means wore feathers in their caps. They returned to London sporting feathers in their hats, to the derision of just about everyone. Calling Washington a macaroni is the ultimate insult. It became OUR great patriotic tune in October 1781 when the British surrendered at Yorktown. However, they couldn't surrender to Yankee rable, so they tried to surrender to the French. The French general recognized the insult, ordered them to surrender to the Americans, and ordered his fifes and drums to play Yankee Doodle, throwing the insult right back in their smug faces.
Because the Barney song was based on this song. It was written during the American Revolutionary War by Britain to make fun of Americans but America adopted the song to get back at them
