Completely remembered why I used to be so confident. I was so much fun! I was unpredictable, funny, goofy and knew it. Anymore, I'm thinking my losses have stolen those things and that's why I'm alone so much. I need to remember myself and be more positive. Thanks for this Vanessa!
instead of: 1. what do you do? 2. where are you from? 3. how are you? try: 1. working on anything exciting these days? 2. have any vacations coming up? 3. anything good happen today. this is gold.
instead of: 1. What do you do? 2. Where are you from? 3. How are you? try: 1. How do you do? 2. What are you from? 3. Where are you? This is going to get a lot of people around you nervous and concerned, unless you talk in a very hippie/hipster sort of way. But if your smooth on the first one, sound genuinely perplexed mixed with time-constrained on the second, and scream the last one whilst looking them dead in the eyes then you've hit maximum effect! or try: 1. Do you do what? 2. Are you from where? 3. You are how?
If a guy at a party approached me for the first time with one of these sentences I would think he is being weird. If a girl did so, I'd think she's hitting on me
I really hate it when someone politely asks you a question and you can tell by their dead eyes and posture they really don't care what the answer is, even before you've started speaking.
Jay, yes, it is like shaking hands with someone and they look at someone else while they are shaking your hand. This happened to me once and I kicked the person in the shin, he looked at me right quick after that. Another one that gets me going is if someone asks you how you are and you say "not that well" and they distractedly say "that's great". Since that happened to me I always ask back if they are really interested in hearing the full story. That usually makes them stop and think as well.
They may have their own insecurities. The fact that they are trying to be nice, you have to appreciate. People need to stop being judgemental towards each other.
@@Endrance450 but that's so meaningless if you want to say hello more personally then mean it with your gestures or tone of your voice. I still can't get used to being asked how I am and consider it as a "hello"
@Chris Jones I'm genuinely interested in your opinions on this as I'm a high school humanities student. What kinds of ideas or opportunities or information or anything do you think are worth discovering and exploring within the broad field?
Her presence already made me excited. Her aura her spirit and her enthusiasm, they're definitely contagious. And for those looking for going viral kind of thing, what matters is she did her best and you could see it. Real life events don't look for statistical figures but more on meaningful impact. Love her already.
"If we show up to events we are ambivalent about, interact with people we don't really like, we become less memorable." This sentence will stay with me. Exceptionally good talk.
I’ve never seen anyone that looked and presented themselves so genuine that not once did I feel a negative or an uncomfortable emotion while watching this!! I REALLY like her energy:)
I saw an old movie where one person looked to the sky and he attracted a multitude of people doing the same thing. They had no idea what they were looking for but they just following his actions.
I'm surprised that people aren't familiar with this. When I was a child (late 1960s), my father related a story about how he was in town and decided to see if he could get other people to do something, just because he was. In front of a movie theater, just as people were leaving, he looked intently at a point in the sky. Soon, a whole crowd began looking. He said that after enough people were looking, he stopped and walked a short way, so he could watch and listen. Humorously enough, eventually someone asked "what are we looking at?" There were a number of responses, that included "an airplane," and someone even mentioned that a man was staring into the sky and they looked, hoping to see what had caught his attention. As a result, I have repeated this experiment and it's always a lot of fun!
@@1TheShawnster Agree! as a teen in the early 70's a group of us band geeks would do this in downtown Milwaukee just to see what would happen. Always brought a smile to us but most of the time when someone would ask what we were all looking at, we'd say 'nothing, just stopping to enjoy the sky'. They would smile and walk away. Great feeling!
I think Vanessa Van Edwards is one of the best TED speakers. The content is great for sure, but as far as delivery and confidence, I haven't seen better. She is a pleasure to listen and watch.
Such an entertaining and informative talk! My takeaways: - our emotions are contagious, so others will pick up on how we feel - facial expressions + body language can be THE TRIGGER for your emotional reality, instead of just vice versa! - frame dialogue/questions in terms of positive words instead of negative or empty ones. - all this makes me realize, I need to do power poses + affirmations more!
It makes sense, like when me or my friends are laughing and smiling, somehow everyone just gets into the mood and we’re all happy and giggling, even when we dunno what’s happening.
Guys, while reading the comments you will notice something : There's no hateful comments. At all. And I know it because I've read them all. So this is true : This lady has increased our dopamine, we all feel happy and excited ! Let's show this to the whole world 😉💪🏻
Love that final line Vanessa - we are in control of how we feel and what we want to spread. Really locks into the internal locus of control in a way that is explainable :)
My wife sent me this, and she got it from a podcast referral, and I have to admit... this really explains a lot for me. Man, it's time to get to work! Waiting for a part 2 or book or more in-depth information. Appreciate it over all and best wishes
Key points: use more hand gestures, ask more dopamine worthy questions, make authentic smiles and never pick up the phone in a bad mood. "We are in control of how we feel and what we want to spread." THANK YOU FOR SHARING!
You can tell that Vanessa Van Edwards practices what she preaches. She is a very dynamic speaker and engages then captivates you immediately to the end of her speech/message. Mahalos Vanessa!
This is hands down my favourite Ted talk and I've watched a lot. I use facts from this to start conversations and it's honestly changed how I view and interact with people. Amazing 👏
I absolutely love how she takes common sense things we don’t really even realize is right in front of our face. And I’ve just started watching her videos and it led me here. Love her!!!
“The only difference between nervousness and excitement is the mindset.” I pushed myself to try believing in this perspective and can personally attest that my perspective has slowly but surely changed. Now when the adrenaline kicks in, my mind makes note that it is indeed excitement!
So proud of you Vanessa! What a year you're having! Another amazing CreativeLive, a best selling book, and a perfectly delivered (and informative, funny, and inspiring) TEDX talk! You continue to inspire and "infect" us with your work! Keep it up! ❤️Your fan from Key West!
Most of the time when I do watch video to learn new things...it helps to improve my self. But here... absolututley next level which is hit me like, this is what I was looking for.....Great Speech...wow...loved it. Vanessa so perfect speaker for me at time of writing.
I love this woman, she’s so beautiful, not just her looks but her confidence and personality. She’s so knowledgeable and I love her videos, they really do help💗
My friend says that she can just feel it when im in a room without even seeing me because its just full of joy and positivity - bruh i thought she was going mad: now i dont wow
Absolutely wonderful!!! I've been teaching business etiquette and social skills for years and this is just the information that we all need. Thank you!
16:54 Is a huge moment in this talk; a belief I decoded on my own, simply reframing your mindset can shift, like a panoramic camera, the scope of possibility for one who is faced with a difficult decision. Excitement with comfortable acceptance of un-intended failure and full openness to learn.
I recently met my thesis mentor and I gave her this compliment that her energy is contagious because she is really exciting architect and a great mentor!!😍
Thank you so much for the insight! I never realized some of these tactics. Some of them I've employed throughout my years working customer service, without realizing. Such as asking people if they have any fun or exciting plans. Or asking them to tell me about something they've been really passionate about. I will definitely employ more of these strategies and try to be contagious to my coworkers.
Right after I listened to your talk a moment ago, I received a phone call from someone I had some tensions with earlier today. So, I did exactly what you recommended. I made my voice gently cheerful. I told him I liked his shirt, which I truly meant, and continued with some additional sincere small talk. The tensions disappeared and we left the conversations smiling. I’m certain my tone of voice at the onset of the conversation set the tone for the positive. Fun to have the experience right after your talk. Thanks Vanessa!
Actually yes as an unarmed security officer in Culver city DMV in CA... well the mood at the place was less than positive, in the morning when people are lining up an hr before the DMV opens was the worst that is when i started doing what she was talking about. I was rationalizing to them saying that this is the best time to be here and smiling. I wasnt fake smiling it was real and went around talking to people with that smile the rest of the 8 hrs. The next day i came back with a big smile on my face for another 8. The next day when I was closing I actually had 3 of the DMV associates come up to me after closing and thanked me. And I said for what, they said ever since I started people were treating them better. This was 10 years ago but what she says is 100% accurate.
Vanessa, this is such a memorable TED talk. Thank you for equipping me with a set of skills that I will use, for the good of all, the rest of my life ❤
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 00:00 😄 Vanessa Van Edwards discusses the impact of body language and behavior on perception. 01:32 🤚 When meeting people, the first thing we unconsciously focus on is their hands due to our primal instincts. 03:02 🗣️ Successful TED speakers use numerous hand gestures (465 on average) to engage and emphasize their ideas. 05:02 😨 Emotions are contagious; for instance, smelling sweat from fearful individuals triggered fear responses in others. 08:13 😀 Mimicking facial expressions, such as genuine happiness, influences our emotions and likability. 11:51 🎤 Conversation starters that trigger dopamine (e.g., excitement-focused questions) create more engaging interactions. 16:29 😊 Shifting from nervous to excited mindset improves performance and accuracy in challenging tasks. Made with HARPA AI
Hi Vanessa! I'm so grateful for the material you share. I am an ESL teacher and have used several of your videos to teach my students not only verbal English but other communication mediums as well. Truly great work and best of luck on your continued success! Teacher Lisa :-)
When I was 25, my bff the day he suddenly got into. Wreck & later passed told me that I was "contagious" ...it never left my mind...I felt understood yet confused. Best thing I have ever been called! He was amazing.
One of the more better ted talks I've seen. A lot of information that we don't really take into consideration that shape not just our day but the day of others.
Omg, this video has changed the way I perceive people and I am very much sure that its going to be very much helpful. "I am Excited". Great talk and lucky i am that i found this one. You Rock Vanessa. Many Congratulations to you and your team. I have been watching your videos on science of people and now following you on RU-vid so can watch all your exciting videos. Looking forward to have some great learning.
My sister started waiting tables at a restaurant that drew people from three and four hours away. People with money. She started comparing her tips with others and saw she was not getting near the tips. My dad managed this restaurant and tourist/history demonstration center. He was in the restaurant only an hour or so each day. After a week my sister complained. My dad started observing her and after a couple hours he pulled her aside and said, SMILE WHEN YOU ARE AT THE TABLE... she didn't agree that week. He talked to her on the weekend and convinced her to truly smile and test it for a week. She almost tripled her tips.
Thanks for the interesting TEDx. I got hooked on the Science of People after reading your book "Human Lie Detection & Body Language 101" and am looking forward to reading Contagious and taking a few of your courses.
I feel My specific anxiety effects the way i smile. Its almost like im in constant painand the "pain"is constantly keep me from smiling fully. Or too much
Changed my life! Henceforward, I will be hilarious, excited, funny, energetic, and charismatic. I want to change my life as well as others' life for good.
