I had a very important man take two hours out of his morning once and it saved my life. Cried like a child with him through most of it, it’s a debt I can never repay him. Thank you Doug. Always call a friend, people care about you. Respect to the man that wrote in, it’s very hard to be extremely honest especially with yourself.
To the gentleman who wrote that email: it took huge cojones to share your struggles with the world like that. I’m honestly inspired with how you took ownership of what you knew had to fix.
Listening to Andy and this podcast has convinced me to seek out professional help. Speaking with a councilor is helping me deal with the mental trauma I've experienced recently, and also childhood trauma that I wasn't even aware was affecting me... please speak with someone...
First of all, self reflection and humility are good things. Alcohol makes every problem worse and a self inflicted wound. Helping others, homeless shelters, crisis ministries and reaching out to strangers is the best fix that no one ever tries....it works wonders.
Thank you for sharing this persons story, and for sharing your story. I am retired (sort of) and I have been volunteering my time as a peer counselor to my union. For the past few years we have been working on a “changing the culture” program for our national organization. Changing the culture, is a nation wide program targeted at ending the stigma of asking for help in the areas of mental well being and addiction disorders.
"I love the smell of napalm in the morining!" This podcast is a great example of what working together can accomplish. Excellent demonstration of courage. No platitudes or excuses. Pure unflinching honesty. Good work! Nut sacks all around.
I've been where this guy is and now I'm right back there at 62 years old and in my 5th week of a 6 week cancer treatment. As a vet the biggest shitshow that I was ever in was 6 months in Beirut Lebanon in 82-83 so I don't have the problems that face our current vets and I love everyone that was in that 20 year shitshow. I had the shitty childhood where my wife beating, alcoholic dad left when I was 8 years old and my brother was 5 years old. My mom decided to turn into a drunk, druggy hippie barmaid that would leave me and my brother alone for a week at a time to do drug runs to Detroit with bikers or some very shady characters, ironically the bikers treated me and my brother very good and taught me some things about life. Me and my brother would roam the streets of Akron at midnight while mom disappeared and this made me highly observational at 8 years old out of neccessity and self preservation and these "Street Skills" stuck with me to this day. People upon finding out about my childhood say "Oh I am so sorry you had to go through this" and my reply to them is "Well it sucked but I got an education that money can't buy" and it is true, for me anyway. My mom married a great guy who lived South of Akron on a smallish farm in a very rural area of Ohio and my "Step Dad" who I always called "My dad" took me under his wing and taught me "The hillbilly way of life" which was my "Second education that money can't buy" although I guess you can pay someone to teach you these things today but I really don't know. I had thousands of acres of fields and woods filled with "Hills and Hollers" to explore any damn time I wanted if my "Chores" were finished and I wasn't at practice or event as I was a 3 sport "Star" in my rural county in which starting in sports at age 8 in Akron put me far ahead of the local hillbillies that had coach pitch baseball and football that didn't start until 7th grade and wrestling that didn't start until 9th grade so I definitely had a leg up on the local competition I got my GF pregnant at the end of my senior year and married her after I graduated (MISTAKE) and it changed my entire path in life. Her mom was a devout Catholic that handed out anti-abortion literature in the "Town Square" every weekend but when me and my GF told her mom and dad that she was pregnant and we were going to get married her mom burst into tears and said "GET AN ABORTION!" which made me chuckle and that only made the problem worse as her family deemed me "Public Enemy #1" over that little chuckle of mine at her hypocrisy but oh well, I was only 18 years old I joined the military at age 20 because I had to escape her family and I guess my wife to some extent but the plan was to move the wife and my daughter to where I would be stationed, which was Norfolk Va. after boot camp and my A school. Upon arriving to my first ship I found out that we would be heading on a Med Cruise shortly after my arrival so moving the wife and kid was put off until my return home after 6 to 7 months of "Port Hopping" but after two days in Naples Italy which was 14 days after leaving Norfolk we were rerouted to Beirut Lebanon for a short "Peace Keeping" mission and it was anything but short, anything but "Peace Keeping" and it was far from fun or interesting in a good way. Beirut was turned into a 3rd world shithole and the first thing I saw as we started our amphibious beach landing was the once luxurious and now bombed out and blown up Holiday Inn and it got worse from there. I was lucky as I was on the "Beach" a lot instead of being stuck on the ship. First day we got the customary car bombing (That we were never told about) with a few Marines injured and the realization that "Toto this isn't Kansas anymore" rammed into our heads. I wrote my wife telling her where we were (I know, loose lips) and what was going on and about all of the spent brass all over the streets and the local population being scared shitless and acting weird in which I got a reply from her 2 weeks later saying that her dad told her that I was lying because he didn't see anything about Beirut on the news. We were allowed to pull out and go to Antalya Turkey for 6 days the entire time we were in Beirut which was better than never leaving until our rotation was up but DAMN did I ever get my eyes opened on up wide in my 3 days in Antalya concerning the "Compounds" or women's prison, the way Muslims hate booze, hookers and other things but openly sell booze at these "Compounds" and other places, especially an opium based Ouzo called "Rocket" but pronounced "Rokay" and the troubles that "Rocket" brought U.S. and British Marines and Sailors that have been penned up for a long period of time along with the cheap hashish that seemed to be everywhere. I was planning on doing 20 years and retiring but this "Cruise" and getting "Jodied" 4 months in changed my mind as all I wanted then was to get home and save my marriage for my daughter's sake, which I did go home, stupidly beat the hell out of "Jody" and went back after leave to a totally gutted chain of command where I locked horns with a fresh out of college (Michigan State) LTJG who stated from day one that he HATED anyone from the state of Ohio and my dumb ass took the "I'm your Huckleberry" position for all in my division from Ohio and it did not end well for me and I got the fuck out after my enlistment was up. I was in a bad wreck 4 months after my discharge and lost my left eye, shattered my right arm that I eventually recovered from but I dove balls deep into booze, drugs, women and odd jobs here and there. I finally stopped the booze, drugs and women, did a lot of thinking and how I was raised that no matter what it was someone else's fault by my mom and how I was raised by my dad/step dad that it is more than likely my fault and not the fault of someone else. I said fuck it, thought back to the very beginning of any and all of my problems and realized that it was in fact me that allowed the bad shit in my life to happen and snowball. I got into the machining trades running manual machines and then programming and running CNC machines and then I got an opportunity to go into and learn industrial maintenance and my first job the training consisted of "Throw them to the wolves" in which I survived and used that as a basis to learn even more which I did until I had to retire after 5 hip replacement surgeries all on my left hip and a botched neck surgery all which sent me back into the world of drugs, booze, women and suicide after my second divorce from a wonderful woman and 3 great kids. I kicked the booze and drugs again but I married my 3rd wife whom was hot but leaning on the dumb side but hey, I figured beauty was forever so I could deal with the rest.. WRONG but I am still married to her. Then in April 2023 I get a lump growing on the left side of my neck, ignore it and the lump gets bigger so I decide to go to my EN&T and he gives me the news that I have tongue cancer that jumped to my neck/glands and may be heading towards my throat. After tests/3 biopsies and a PET Scan confirmed my cancer I had to do the hardest thing in my life and that was to tell my kids whom did not take the news well, especially my youngest so (30) that was always in my hip pocket as a kid and the most attentive when I taught my kids to hunt, fish, trap and every other "Hillbilly Skill" and "City Skill" that I knew. They made me promise to fight this and I did promise them but this cancer and treatment is kicking my ass which I can deal with but this shitty taste in my mouth due to chemo has made it so I can't put anything in my mouth and I hate pushing "Protein Shakes" down my feed tube anymore. I told my two best friends the other day that what I am doing is insane to me, I told them "I have welcomed and challenged death since I was a little kid so what in the hell am I doing fighting death now?" The only reasonable answer I can come up with is I am fighting death now because I don't want to miss the imminent shitshow that is fast approaching all of us but seated in the back of my mind is the thought that I have done everything that I can think of to prepare my loved ones, friends and neighbors for the inevitable and the terror, suffering, disease and inhumanity that will follow while some took heed others didn't and that is on everyone's own head when and hopefully IF the storm of shit hits but fuckkkkk I am damn near at the end of my rope to the point of shortening my own rope. I know that very few, IF any will care or even read my long post and maybe it was me having to get shit off of my chest but DEAR GOD if this helps one person snap out of their haze and funk I will be happy, I will never know but I can have the thought that maybe my blabbering did help at least one person. I expect to get "Flamed" for this post so flame away people and get it off of your chests but I do apologize for the TL;DR garble that I did post
Andy, I want to personally thank you for putting this episode out there. Wow, I enjoy all your podcast, this one, especially hit Home very deep. It helps so much to hear other peoples life experiences that may or may not be similar to our own, so thank you again.keep up the great work
Was I up early enough to catch this episode, or am I still awake from drinking the delicious cleared hot blend a little to late in the evening. You decide
Andy, you are an amazing American, you fly like a flying squirrel you parachute you hunt you smoke bad guys you write books you give awesome advice to troubled men you fly Jets and all of this is while suffering down syndrome I simply love you dude
When you start experiencing setbacks, failures, or trauma you do something psychologically called Armoring... so you start putting up defenses to protect yourself which include blaming others, not being able to hold yourself liable for things you did and do, having a negative attitude, avoid anything that makes you vulnerable, and start doing self sabotaging activities to avoid honest introspection of yourself. Do not do the previous things and try to seek help even of you emotionally oppose getting help which help can easily come from listening to a podcast or someone who has gone through rough experiences but prevailed.
*Outstanding episode, Andy! Great topic - great relating your experience too on "doing something about it" to get better at taking a "beat." We all must do this to grow.*
And this is exactly why you have one of the best podcasts out there... for messages like this that you share that can help all of us in some way. Thank you for all you do...and thank you for being a great human Andy.
FUCK ME, thank you for this Mr Stumpf. At 18:10 British Summer Time September 22nd 2023 my good lady wife took her last breath, cancer brought her to that end. I have followed your vids for a good while and damn it all they keep on giving. Again THANK YOU and every continued success to you and yours Mr Stumpf.
Well done, Andy. You’re growth is real. Marriage is making you soft and I’m here for it. Keep bangin the truth. The work you do, the way you do it, is admirable.
To the man who sent that email. You have nothing to be ashamed of and you should love yourself because you're better than me and most of the rest of us. Thank God you're still here because this world is not only better with you in it, but we the people need more men like you and Andy for your experience and guidance.
I'm glad Andy has taken it upon himself to try understand the ins and outs of what it's like to be someone else, specifically Steven Seagal, very noble of him. Seriously though, great episode, and kudos to the man for writing his story so damn well.
Damn, I'll be honest, I was kind of dreading this. Straight to the heart. Just when one least expects it. I'm confronting some things right now that I would much rather stick in a box, but I know all about those damn boxes. The worst part is confronting myself, I find any type of confrontation extremely anxiety inducing - even if it isn't something huge. Even though I haven't had the same exact experiences, I can relate.
I can remember seeing knitting needles .. never knew be so good for itch when in a body cast…. hangars not as good back when metal stitches could be easily ripped out.
powerful, great content and apropos title - very true, we are not alone in our suffering... we all have childhood 'trauma'; the subjective degree of trauma varies and the means of self soothing vary as well. Personally, akin to the writer, I chose alcohol and sex; the seeking of sex really, which is the trance while the act is the period closing out the sentence - all to begin again...even after years of 'recovery' I struggle - great to hear this message of wholeness
I needed to hear this. Thank you Andy. I knew that I liked this show for a reason and you brought that reason into the spotlight. Navy SEALs are cool and all, but reality is bitch. I get sick and tired of seeing “navy SEAL explains…, Navy SEAL teaches…, Navy SEAL describes…. “ Fuck that. You are one of the few guys that lays it out bare, and you don’t want attention for your military career. That is for helping me understand that I’m not alone.
The older I get the more understanding I have that we are all going through or dealing with things we think nobody else is. This episode by far has been top 10. Respect to the man who wrote this and Respect to this podcast for addressing, analyzing, and reassuring we are all in this together. Quitting is not an option even if you want to. Got 1 shot at this life... make it count, don't make it a regret. 🇺🇲❤🎗🪖