This feeling is so real. The straddling the line between not wanting to be a burden on the people you love but wanting them to understand why you're not "yourself."
@Dr Megha Manoj im barely getting through I’m struggling so much but there’s some people who give me the reason to keep going. People who need me. Getting a kitten has given me comfort someone to always be there for me in the night I spend crying myself asleep and waking up every morning wanting to hurt myself. The pain is always there. There’s always a few seconds where I feel happy and I hold onto them. I just find myself taking lots of pics for my family for when I do eventually go. Find something you like. Something that makes you happy Something that comforts you. Something that makes you feel not alone. I got into kpop end of 2020 and it’s like being in a big family that’s always there for you. The fandoms are amazing and so are all the idols. They are our idols and We are there idols. I’m not just talking about there music but the idols are amazing kind people. I really recommend The Rose. There songs are so comforting Straykids there music is amazing and BTS. I know kpop isn’t for everyone but it’s how I cope so find something that makes you feel the way I feel about kpop. Idk if that will help you but I know you can do this!! Your doing so great already!! I’m so proud of you
@Dr Megha Manoj yea same. Kpop, kdramas and bls are my escape from the real world. I’m always here if u wanna talk. Just let me know if you want my insta or snap:)
I got really sick in 2014, My fear took over and I felt no one understood. Doctors treated me like I was over reacting and it felt so lonely. I started writing a book about my life and experiences with the health care system. Listening to your song, it made me cry. You put into words how I felt and how I still feel ❤
I'm dealing with this currently... Sonya like this are so helpful in reminding someone but it seemed worse than it was before another time. And that the important part is the healing and the good that comes afterwards.
As someone who is currently fighting Depression, Anxiety, and PTSD this song is exactly what I needed. It's like I'm currently living in a black hole..and this song helps me escape for a lil
@@PhilMahar-p3j Yes, my friend this is temporary. I know it seems like it's never going to go away like if we have no idea how much more we can take that feeling alone is the worst thing ever. Though in order for us individually to make it through THESE rough patches we must deal with Our inner turmoil to become empowered without any other obstacles or allowing others to detour us any LONGER. Having a choice for ourselves and sticking to our personal choice of not letting people hurt us no longer takes time for this change to form in our life, at the end of this WE HAVE OURSELVES WHO DOESN'T NEED OTHERS TO BE CONTENT TO BE CONTENT IS TO BECOME SATISFIED WITHIN OUR MINDSET. IM GLAD AND PROUD OF THE LOT OF YOUS THAT HAVE CHOSEN THE PATH OF SELF-DISCOVERY, SELF-DETERMINATION SELF-GLORIFICATION SELF-LOVE SELF-CONFIDENCE SELF-ACCEPTANCE AND SELF RESPECT CONGRATULATIONS
Thank you for releasing this song! Having POTS and an autoimmune disorder that isn’t visible in a tangible way, it often feels like you’re crazy and meant to suffer alone
I have POTS AND EDS TOO !!! What is MCAS ? Sad thing is I go and do well and then I start flaring up again and again and then I plateau and am fine and it's so hard
i resonate with this lyrics. two time cancer survivor with severe major depression and anxiety. Always going through a physical changes. i am always asking what the hell is wrong because i thought survivorship would be easy and that i could go back to my regular life but that isn't the reality i have. so i love that someone as beautiful as her wrote such real and raw emotions. i even play it for my daughter...she gets it.
As a sufferer from a lot of Chronic Illnesses and years of Chronic pain this so is so beautiful and literally gave me goosebumps. 😢 You aren’t alone ❤ we’re here for you! Thank you 🙏🏻 for making this masterpiece ❤
After going through brain surgery and finding out i had multiple disabilities and chronic health issues i felt like this for ages, thanks for providing me with the words to those feelings. And i feel for all who have or are dealing with this.
I was diagnosed at 24 with an incurable degenerative disease i’m 33 now. The pain i endure everyday, its maddening. For years i’v never found a song that was able to put into words what my head is like, until now. Thank you thank you thank you.
As someone who suffers multiple chronic illnesses and mental health conditions I relate to this song on a different level, it's beautiful and you've put into words exactly how I feel but could never find the words to explain it🖤
You've given voice to what so many of us wish we could convey. This is exactly how the last year of my life has been like. Thank you for this song and for you using your experience to birth such a powerful message ❤️
Been unable to live my life for the past almost six months. Unable to work. Unable to handle anything. I have been so sick and it has been nothing but a fight with my doctors to find a cause. Finally starting to get somewhere. This song is so relatable. Thank you for sharing your experience.
I have depression and anxiety...I relate to this so much. You did amazing, you sound amazing, keep fighting and be proud of the beautiful song you worked so hard on!
"I blamed myself".....that hits me hard. When no one understands me, i thought i was the weird n complicated one,so i always end up blaming myself. It was wrong tho...our feelings ARE valid.
I have been battling MDD and Bipolar Disorder for years now. This is the very first song that I can relate so much. It clearly shows the struggles of an individual mentally. Always remember that whatever we're going through right now it doesn't end our story. If you're reading this, pls continue your life cause there's still good things that will happen. Don't be blinded with what you think, feel, and see cause what you deserve is more than that.
Oh my goodness… I cannot tell you how much I can relate to this song.. this is such a good song. Thank you so much for being vulnerable with us and sharing it. Very powerful words. I cannot wait for everyone to hear this tomorrow!! Sitting in class trying not to cry!!.. ❤️❤️
As someone who struggles with ptsd, depression, an eating disorder and multiple health scares, fearing I wouldn't make it. Thank you so much for creating this, I can't even put into words how relatable, meaningful and beautiful this is. I hope life has gotten better for you BLÜ EYES / Katie. I've heard this song a few times before but it came up on my mix today and I burst into tears.
I started to lock myself in at the end of 2020 for a whole year, not even a step out of my parent's house, my childhood home. Gladly, they're supportive enough to let me have my time and my way to process what has happened to me. Then, gradually a few months ago, step by step I've pushed by the world to crawl out of my cave. Well, I am still not that good enough but better. As long as I am still alive, I know I'll be out again 😊
This song took me right back to my mindset in the depths of postnatal depression after my son was born. Word for word, exactly how it felt. This is so special ❤
WHO ARE YOU?!!! I am dumbfounded by what you've done here. I am truly just awe struck. I couldn't understand why it made me want to cry until I've read the other comments. Now I understand where this is coming from but I gotta say: From a musical and production perspective, good Lord! From your voice to the lyrics to your recording sensibilities to your soundscapes to your decision to sit in your bed and knit, I just can't believe what I'm seeing or hearing. I think it's genius. You don't understand, you were randomly fed to me on instagram. I'm a 50 year old man who has always loved PROGRESSIVE METAL almost exclusively. Dream Theater, Plini, Arch Echo. This piece should NOT do anything to me but I'm totally blown away by how authentic it feels, and I LOVE the way it sounds. It so sincere and powerful! What a transcendent thought provoking musical expression! Thank you SO MUCH for putting yourself out there, You are amazing!
I just found this song on Spotify recently, and I have never felt so seen by a piece of music. As a therapist, a sexual violence survivor, a knitter...who after it happened spent two years holed up in my home retreating deeper and deeper into my depression, latching onto anything I could to make me forget. Who had to fight for years to get a Hashimoto's diagnosis from doctors who kept telling me that everything "looked good," and it was probably just stress or diet related...Thank you. I hope you are also healing.
I always listen to this song on the train. I've never even been diagnosed with any illness, and I don't think I have one either. It's not even like my life is a tragedy or anything. So many factors make me feel as if nothing ever goes right, so it feels as if i have no right to be sad. All these other young adults with their blessed families, and here I am going to school, working to make ends meet, and always taking the last train home, loaded with student loans, no safety net. Always alone. I just go with my day. People think I'm making sacrifices for success, but it's not that. I'm not choosing to live like this. There is nothing else I can do to escape my situation no matter how hard I try. So i just go with it, but i feel like i could cry at any moment. I just feel so lost at work, at school, on the train. It would be really nice just to have one person that cares. I don't know if its that simple, but i really really hate being alone. update: Finally brought myself to a doctor and got diagnosed with depression. Glad to finally get help.
You don't have to have a tragedy to feel what you feel. It doesn't negate anything you feel. Your feelings are valid. If you feel like crying (at school, on the train, at work (maybe on break)), do it. Some tips: schools have counselors (you can honestly go in and say you're having a hard emotional day, that you don't want to talk about it, but do want to cry - I doubt they'd say no). Employers often have programs, i.e., EAP (employment assistant program), that can get you a specific amount of benefits for emotional health/physical health (even without insurance, if I'm not mistaken). You don't need a tragedy or diagnosis to go for therapy or to validate your feelings. If you want to cry, cry. Letting it out really helps sometimes. I'd probably cry on the train so that when the train stops, I could stop crying. Sending you good vibes. 🙏🏻
I always to to think being alone is better than being with someone who makes you feel alone . I hope your situation changes I’m going through the same situation as you. Pulling through at the moment not such how much more I can take tho:/
Thank you so much for this song. I had a terrible accident and I hurt my head really bad. Noone could see it from the outside. I heard so oftenly "you should see the bright side, you should move on..." It's two years ago now and it still haunts me. I am still recovering. Then I found your song and now I am in tears. Thank you so much for your song❤
Very rarely does a song make me cry... That being said not only did this make me well up, it opened up an internal dialog with myself about taming my dragon. Thank you to everyone involved in the creation of this video. You've inspired me in more ways than I can convey in a RU-vid comment. All I can do to express my gratitude is encourage all involved to continue in their craft, especially Blu Eyes for creating content that not only tells her story but resonates with a host of others.
Sheesh… this song really hits home. Everybody out there going through it, keep fighting and believing, I promise it gets better! Just don’t give up! 🙏🏼
In middle school, shortly after turning 12, I started freaking out over my health. I thought every symptom I had was cancer. I would constantly think I was dying and I broke down in class multiple times. No teacher ever cared, none understood me. They wrote me off as being overdramatic and the kids did, too. I learned to shut it in because I feared showing it, I feared no one would ever understand how i felt. It's since decreased in intensity, but I still panic sometimes, I still think some symptoms are cancer and my heart will beat faster and I'll start hyperventilating, on the verge of tears. But I cannot cry in front of others anymore. I cry by myself, silent. That is what I taught myself because no one understands when I cry. They say I'm fine, that I'm just exgarrating. Even my own parents. I'm 18 now, and I know there's something wrong. I don't know what it is, but I want to know. It seems like OCD, the way I obsess over it. I can't know for sure, though. No money, no support. There's nothing I can do but tough it out.
As someone who is struggling with anxiety and depression right now. This helped me so much just to know that some could put relatable feelings into a song.
Had a horrible chronic illness that left me completely stuck. I was slowly dying of malnutrition and internal bleeding and constantly in pain, ready for it all to be over. A long hospital stay and I lost my colon on feb 26th this year to my IBD causing it to become precancerous. Life with an ostomy is hella weird, but it's the chance at a new beginning mentally and physically for me. This song is incredible and expresses much that is so hard to put into words. Thank you for making an incredible song. ❤
These comments. 🥺 This is why I want to make music, I want to be able to give others what you’ve given all of us with this song. I hate seeing how many others are struggling and suffering the same way I am, but we are warriors, and I love each and every one of you. 💜
You put my experiences into a song. I started battling my chronic illness, POTS, about two years ago. I felt so alone and scared. Thank you so much for making so many songs people can relate to. It makes us feel less alone.
Thank you Blü Eyes for putting words to feelings and realities... I've been fighting for my life since I can remember... trauma still haunts me now... you'd never know.
I’ve had issues with chronic lyme, gastroparesis, anxiety, depression, cPTSD and now CRPS since i was 15 (will be 32 in a few months) thank you for putting this in words. I’m… in so much awe
I just comment on "my body hates me" almost died in car accident at 21, im 30. My body will never be the same, its broken all over, in pain everyday, it screws with my mental health so bad, pain the rest of my life i still cant breathe going oast the accident site. I cant work anymore because my doctor said ill risk being paralyzed waist down . ❤️ Thank you for sharing your story, the truly amazing thing about the internet is how it shows us we really are not alone in our suffering. Bless you
This song is so comforting. Your music has really helped so many people and what I hear from this, you never know what someone’s going through. So go easy on yourself and them
So I run 3 sober livings while still working full-time at my friend's business. I work at least 96 hrs a week which if I stay in this field of work it will always be like that. I have super low lows and break downs weekly. This sort of music reminds me that I'm not alone with the battle that I have in my own head. It's through this type of music that I've learned to let people know where my head is at when I'm not in a good spot. Secrets will keep me sick! Thank you for the song
You’ll never know how much your music truly means to me. It gets me through every single day. It calms me and makes me feel less alone. It soothes my soul. Thank you 💜
Im a 23 years old male, and I suffer borderline personality disorder and depression, been spending a lot of money for medication cuz i sometimes get sick very easily and have to take lot of meds. thanks to Ryan i discovered u and found this song. I really relate to every lyrics of this song alos the other one "healing hurts" and dont u know how much ur songs inspired me to keep fighting and not to leave earth by force. hereby saying thank you very much Blu Eyes!
I was diagnosed stage 2 esophageal cancer back in May of this year. Started the journey of figuring out what was wrong in February this year, with doctors telling me they couldnt figure out what was wrong. It's been a long battle and I am still fighting it, it's been a long 9 months so far. This song resonated with me tremendously. ♥️
This song means so much to me and now I find out you knit too?! You’re amazing. Knitting is the only thing that’s helped distract me and give me some sense of control
I feel so Connect with this song, I have depression and feel so alone and lost, I have ptsd ,anxiety and huge depression. I hope everybody gets better from this nightmare and live happy, we deserved to be Happy again.
That is one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard.... and the most hardest to digest. Me, almost 50 and right now very grateful for a ( in general) happy life!
I found this song yesterday and I've had it on repeat ever since. I needed this. I needed to know I wasn't the only one, the part "you couldn't tell but the inside of my head was a living hell I tried my best explaining how it felt" made my heart finally take a breath. It's such a relief Knowing I'm not alone. Depression ALMOST won. Music can really shift your mindset. I feel a lot better . 😞😊
I broke up with my first real life, non long distance boyfriend recently, and this song has really helped convey all of the emotions I've been going through for the past week. My anxiety has been through the roof since he broke up with me. My body does still gets tense when I try to go outside, because I remember him everywhere and everything we did together. It's like having a person-shaped mental block. And it's so difficult. It feels like it's never going to end, even though I've been in this situation before and it did end, right now I'm on edge, grasping at straws. I hope I feel okay soon.
I don't have any medical condition but after covid, nothing felt the same. I was depressed because I couldn't continue the same school due to bankruptcy. I had online school and refused to leave the house for a year. I feel like my ability to socialize and communicate deteriorated and I cannot even form a simple sentence without freaking out. I fought my life for the happiness I had as a child and cried every night to sleep. No one knew about this but my family. Today I begin to experience what I've longed for once again and it's just so unreal. I finally feel like everything is worth what I've been through.
This song is so sad and beautiful the way I relate to it. Ever since I was 15 I've had to spend so much time going to the hospital, for both physical and mental issues. I haven't had one good experience and some things were downright traumatic. I have been discriminated against and have had doctors not take me seriously. When I've told my mom she didn't listen or believe me. I hate going to the doctor and am riddled with anxiety every time I have to. I have so often felt like I couldn't put it into words or express how hurt I've been and how helpless and lonely it feels, but you have managed to do that
I have an autoimmune disease that usually attacks my eyes as inflammations that if I don’t treat it causes me to lose my eye sight slowly , few weeks ago i had one of those inflammations again till now, and I literally can’t look at any light and i suffer when i go outside in the sun , i also close up all my windows and curtains so I don’t see any lights, and these song lyrics felt like it was made for me … thank you… I feel lonely because after all my doctors appointments everything is manageable and my family is a bit rested but they don’t know the struggle i have to go through even tho my case is manageable..
I also lost part of my eye sight in my left eye . I hope that people understand that even if things seems okay after a long battle it’s not okay because after all we go through we end up tired and exhausted of everything we had to go through to survive
Your voice is so soothing and comforting. The lyrics you write are relatable to too many. It can be challenging to not play, "The Blame Game". A better use of time is finding ways to heal. This song reminded me of the following quote, "In the depth of winter, realize that within you lies an invincible summer. " I hope that quote comforts or motivates someone. If anyone knows who to give credit to for that quote, please respond to this comment with the author's name. Onwards and upwards Blu ... 👊
Great song. I just discovered your music. I can't believe you only have 13K followers. You have a beautiful voice. I liked that you were just sitting there doing a hand craft or whatever that was, while your song played. Yours is a true talent. If you were an established star, they'd have had you twerking or performing some other lude act. Your talent stands on its own. Remember that, as there will be those that try to exploit your gift and turn it into something else. Stay true to yourself.
i was listening to this song a lot during my gap year. though i know it is about chronic illness, this is how i felt about my mental health. now that im having chronic migraines and doctors havent been able to help , this song means more to me ❤
I've spent my life with numerous medical issues, CPTSD, Anxiety, Depression, PTSD and so many people/Drs if always made me feel like I was the one making things up. I've now been stuck in my home for 4 months aside from someone taking me to Dr appointments due to my anxiety being at such an all time high. This song says so much that I am unable to right now
I fell in love with your music when I incidentally heard actually happy.. never a day goes by that I haven't played it once. so I hope you are doing okay. because I would love to hear more from your music... love lots, a fan from the Philippines.
Such a good song! Been waiting for it a long time. I follow many people online who live with invisible disabilities. I feel this might be a song they can relate to. Very powerful and vulnerable. 💙
I wonder if you know how truly, utterly incredible this song is... Lyrically, musically... emotionally... This song is incredible. Thank you so much for letting this out into the wild; it had to be difficult for many reasons. Thank you.
August 1st 2019, down the block from my childhood home. Now I'm married & have the most amazing son. It haunts me to think of all the beauty I might've missed if a stranger didn't find me & call for help. Keep pushing, it can get better. ❤ ;
YES 😭👏 THIS is the true definition of my first time struggling with depression and anxiety. It still haunts me, those moments, and I still feel upside down at times but able to get myself feeling better sooner. Thank you so much for this! 🙏❤️🩹
