you're not the only one. the environment shapes us as we partake in it. anyone who says "you don't need this, you need that" is already crossing boundaries for me and I hear it as their own need for validation.
The environment shapes us as much as we shape our environment, some scenarios are difficult to alter (like someone thinking negatively about you) but that's where you alter your environment by not interacting with it identically to previous experiences. Changing both drastically is best though of course
If I had not moved from my hometown I wouldn’t have built a new character. I was delusional thinking I was great and doing great but I was lacking in a lot of areas in my life and it took a change of environment to wake me up.
@@tonygareth221if you believe in God ask him to show you a specific sign or any sign of where he think would be best for you, where you’ll thrive and then pay attention to the repeat signs. You’ll know.
That said, I agree with the spirit of this video. The desire to be more, though dormant in my original home environment, was a prerequisite for striving for the life I envision for myself.
The new environment prompts the ability of the brain to be neuroplastic, which means the stressors make it easier to activate some of the dormant genes and increases the ability to adapt to the new environment or circumstances. It’s a neat trick.
Last month I moved to the other side of the planet to change who I was and realize my dreams. After a week or two of honeymoon period, I found myself right where I left off, there is no escape, no way around, only through.
This is true . and untrue at the same time . Talking from someone who did it for 2 years. and not going to lie that have been the best years of my life and cured my existential crisis. You can benefit extremely from changing place . Doesn't matter where. metaphorically talking,the change of location allows you to change yourself too. is a net reset for your personality and from the character you've played for so long. you be whoever you want and do whatever you want. you've always dreamt of releasing the charismatic side of you . that's the time for it to shine. and trust me that will. is a fresh breeze of freedom ,and control over what's around you. Then you acquire control inside of you consequentially . and even if you don't . it does give you the fake perception of so . True ,because your fallacies and vices will follow you too and then there you understand what was really pulling you back . Work is needed either way . if you change place or not . One day or another you have to face your skeletons in the closet .
This is the very hard lesson that I had to learn. My stepmother often said "Wherever you are, that's where you are at. You cannot ever escape yourself." Great video man ❤.
“Trauma is not your fault, but healing is your responsibility.” My dad had explosive anger when I was a kid which made me run away from the situation. This behavior has made me run from anything uncomfortable into adulthood. I have been running for too long and want inner peace no matter where I live.
Growing up around my family, my self image was largely determined by their opinion of me. When I was with them, I became who they expected me to be. When I moved away, I had an opportunity to see myself afresh. True, some of my old perceptions came with me. But, in time, I was free to evaluate myself without constraints.
Running away is never a solution. Working on the root cause is so much important! Otherwise you will repeat the same pattern in new place too. Great talk!!
Look, I have a lot of pent up anger and nowhere I can scream and punch my pillows in peace without being judged. Sometimes we need our own space to heal.
As much as I agree with Seneca, that’s just partially true. Some humans have a nomadic soul. One can argue, there are psychological components to this status. Aside, I have moved 37 times in my life and it is correct that you always take yourself and your issues with you. BUT…every new place will give you new insights and new growth. We are not trees, humans should wander to develop their true self. Your issues are not solved, but mostly the way you look at them will significantly change. I’ve lived in 4 countries, moved 37 times and visited 79 countries. And yes, sometimes I was on the run from self, but with more insight and wisdom, the running away stopped and I knew when the lesson was learned and the time had come to move on. It is an amazing journey and the growth of my “self” is just incredible. Do I have no problems? Of course I do, some days more some days less. - Yet again, when a cycle of life is fulfilled, move on and find greener gras. And yes, when you have done the inner work, the gras is always greener somewhere else. Namaste and thank you for your wonderful insights.
Wow that’s so beautiful and that’s what I’m trying to do! My very first move away from family my very first place but it takes money and it’s taking too long lol I really want to grow!!! I can almost taste it haha I found peace in Oregon when I lived there years back and I want to move back. I don’t know a single soul, my ex has moved and married and the thing is, I don’t care if I know anyone there I just know I love the environment! It’ll be the first time I moved somewhere not for a relationship with a man but more importantly a relationship with myself ❤
Moving on physically can definitely change your mindset. You just need to follow through if you want to change some part of yourself, but a shift in your environment can absolutely be the catalyst. Don't sit in an awful situation trying to block the bad feelings and pretending it doesn't matter where you are.
I am 30 and I have lived on the road as an OTR truck driver since 21. I am quitting this year, believing that there are things in life and within myself that I will have to leave this lifestyle to unlock.
Being nice must come naturally. If one pushes oneself to be nice for whatever reason, it simply stresses you out. I find it better to be just and honest at all times. Just to myself and to others. This must be accompanied by good manners, by being gracious and kind, but firm. @morgangrant5180
It's hard to believe but I soo agree with you. I have been overly kind through my life. Now 66 and where did my life go. Why has my soul almost died because I gave so much of myself away. Now I have few people in my life. More me time to heal myself. I have made some solace now. In my garden, feeding the birds, hearing the sea and sitting still within the elements of the natural world.
This is so powerful!! I recently realized I can be peaceful and joyful no matter what just by not over identifying with my stressful thoughts. Just existing and being conscious is a gift no matter where we find ourselves in life.
Thank you... I can see through this comment of yours too. So simple.... We are our thoughts and we determine their quality... It's being conscious to them.
A change of scenery might be good in order to start afresh and not get retraumatized by a place where hurtful things happened to us, of course always working on ourselves because we can carry our own demons wherever we may go though.
I was just thinking about how I’m always happier when I’m travelling and it made me wonder if it’s my location that needs changing or if it’s me. tyy for the reminder that we are our home
In 1991 I closed my eyes and opened the map put my finger on it. I moved there the very next day . 17 years living with opportunity and made many friends . I moved back because I needed family I am now leaving for a summer job In a totally different state. You are who you hang with there are many, many people in this world.❤
I agree with most of what u said... U can't escape yourself and u shouldn't! U should face your problems and enjoy the company of yourself... However, problems have external and internal factors so sometimes no matter how much u work on it inside, the problem is still there... A change of place solves the problem for a lot of people and a change of mindset does that for a lot of people too... Both factors are important and it depends where your problem is not u being the problem all the time.. Great topic! Keep up!!
I am always the one that ruins my relationships with people cuz I always isolate myself and neglect the other person that’s why I need to work on myself more
Don't give up. Seek out other quiet souls. Get out of the house. Learn about Taoism and Zen Bhuddism. Do a kind deed for someone else. Give up alcohol, it's a depressant. @@idratherstayanonimous7020
For a long time I thought that the place where I lived was the problem, that it was the reason why I couldn't improve. I went to a trip to a different country for two weeks with my sister and nothing changed. My mindset was still the same, my bad habits didn't dissapear, I was still insecure and unmotivated to do anything. That trip helped me realize that I was the problem, that I needed to change myself in order to get a better life. And everyday I'm trying, it's not easy but I keep pushing myself to get out of bed and get dressed and go outside for a little bit. I'm pushing myself to meditate for five minutes morning and night, to stretch and exercise and to keep studying and reading. I'm trying to break from scrolling on my phone, playing video games and eating bad food. One of the hardest things was to stop maladaptive daydreaming, which is something I've been doing since I was a kid. So yeah, some days I fail but I still keep trying to be better. I don't want go give up on myself.
Please don’t give up. I went through this and after a similar battle I’m in peace and happy. I counted on my faith in God as well. It made a whole difference to keep the faith. It was well worth it.❤
Unfortunately bad habits can be so hardly linked to a place or environment that the only way you can get out is to either change to environment or move yourself to another environment.
I recommend anyone who sees this to watch the anime series One Piece. It may seem silly at first but the main character really embodies what you’ve mentioned here in that he’s always happy with himself and what he is doing in the present. Is Always on an adventure striving towards a goal. He doesn’t care about the future or what obstacles he’ll face. Since watching the show I use him as a role model for what I’d like to be. This show has genuinely changed my life for the better. when you see his smile you’ll understand
I watched a few episodes and loved that about him, initially I thought he seems like he had a few screws loose, but it grew on me. now I need to watch the full series.
"A mind that is settled a character that it at pease with itself will alway be home wherever it is wherever it is both in location and in time." You have no idea how much i needed to hear this.
Me personally I need a change of scenery. Staying complacent won't help you grow. Sure you'll know where everything is in your hometown, but not everything there will help you grow to who you need to be. I'm learning this the hard way. I've peaked in my current environment.
Its so true. I moved to another country and found myself struggling a lot with new scenery mentally, because you can’t escape yourself unless changing it internally.
I came to RU-vid this evening in complete surrender that I'm generally stuck living in the state that I live in, one with no nature, in a city. The second video, which came after the first of yours I watched this evening, is this one. I'm so grateful to you. Keep it coming.
I think ultimately everything always starts from within, yes it can be easy to blame our environment for our well-being and seeking an alternative place to gain peace of mind. However, a chaotic environment can be an incredibly difficult place to obtain the strength to realise that it was never the place or people and rather one’s perspective. A new environment can absolutely help build the strength to realise it was always you who held the ability to decide how you feel, regardless of your environment. Everyone is different, everyone has different sensitivities and reacts to things differently, a change in environment can completely change your perspective on life and your perspective is what gives the ability to think in a positive and loving way rather than a negative and fearful way. We don’t control what happens to us but we control how we respond, I feel different environments and people can help shift us into more beneficial responses to situations, but still, ultimately it always has to come from within. I appreciate the video and thought provoking message, much love to you 🙏❤️✌️
It is interesting that I came across your post today, I have been reading “Meditations of Marcus Aurelius “ and have been learning about Stoic philosophy. I also read and study Buddhism and it is very interesting how closely related the two are in the philosophy of life. On your recommendation the next book that I pick up will be Seneca. Thanks for introducing me and all your viewers to Seneca.
I’ll get back to this video after my tea break but I just wanted to put it out there- beautiful title. Almost tells me what I needed, Just waiting for the explanation
I've just returned from a "vacation" to Germany, Italy and Tanzania. Funny thing is I have been familiar with Seneca and this quote for years, I guess I really needed to live it again to hammer the truth of it home. You are 100% on point.
This message came at the right time for me. It's like you held up a mirror and I could see patterns of my younger self that I see were made in an attempt to protect me, but if I keep moving forward with them they will only stunt me.
"The now is all we have." This helps us focus our energy on the present moment, rather than dwelling on past mistakes, or putting things off, thinking that we have tomorrow. But in the end, there is no guarantee.
I love the part where you say that we can be a silent observer and find the situation interesting, and the situation passes anyway regardless of what it is. I feel like that sentence alone brings so much peace because of impermanence and it opens up a sense of curiosity in me which makes life so intriguing.
Crucial lesson to learn: don't ever escape the problems, face them. However, while projecting this approach onto social interactions, might find yourself as an elephant in the room, paradoxically. Most of the people don't cope well with dealing with any problems (especially relationship ones), like is said in the video. I guess most of us live in a smaller, or sometimes bigger, bubble.
Pretty broad statement that does of course make sense but cannot be fitting for everyone. I live in the city and dream of moving away to the mountains or ocean far away from the hustle and bustle but I am not doing it to run away from myself . But to find the silence that nature brings that cannot be found in urban areas.
That can be right but again its like an excuse for not working hard I am certainly in the same position as you But I don't care I do what I must do eventhough its mostly weird for the ppl around me
If Viktor Frankl could find meaning in the worst of places I believe we all can. I believed for a long time places are not necessarily the drivers of inner contentment. I am currently feeling stuck where I am but I also have some forces keeping me exactly where I am bc I know I will Jist take me with me. I have not figured out how to reach this level of acceptance and contentment. The angst is probably from the dark night of the soul I have been in for some time. I find reading wise words helps me somewhat. Listening to others also helps. I still struggle a bit with actually experiencing these things I am reading about but I also feel this will come. I guess one can be on the right part and still feel be lost lol.
i have found great admiration for you sir, you speak in such amusing ways, and somehow all of these things are what ive been avoiding addressing myself. I see you and your spoken words as greatly influential. I thank you from the bottom of my heart and hope whoever needs to hear you like i did, finds you in due time
I absolutely love this and you. I have trauma that I run from continually so I relate to this and find it so simple and helpful to hear. The one comment I would make is that yes absolutely we can be at ease in any situation if we come to find peace in ourselves but it’s also okay to realize that we are not at home here - this is not our final resting place. I heard a speaker describe the feeling as being “homeless and miserable” in this world. It does feel that way, even while we seek peace in it.
I am in letter 11 I believe. I got the book. Can’t believe only now. Why Seneca. What draws you to his words. What has been your journey to arrive here? I always love listening to life stories and how others arrived at these deep waters makes me feel more determined and resolved in my path. I see myself in your words. I want to escape run away from where I am. I love my little home etc but I feel so restless in my mind. There is angst and a bit of chaos. My heart knows the situations are not out there but here. What if you are not sure what your issue is? I don’t know how to fix this bc I don’t know what exactly is broken. Just a sense of emptiness.
Oh yes - wherever you go, there you are. I’ve lived in two countries and learnt a lot about myself, mainly while feeling lonely. That experience cracked me open and am forever grateful. No turning back. You might be a philosopher, I hold an MA in psychology, now studying Compassionate Inquiry. Presence and attunement are essential. Thanks for your thoughts!❤
Hello, I could relate to everything you spoke - some things about myself, some about the relationship I had, some about my surroundings. I saw a video of David Goggins where he says he takes mental vacations when he is in the bathroom or just taking a break. That intrigued me. With most of the social media advocating that we need to be in a fancy place with luxurious amenities to be happy, I found solace in staying off of it and living the moment I have. Thank you for this message. It helped me have a conversation with myself.
I am comfortable being by myself, but now confident enough. For confidence in the world filled with friends, partners and groups, I feel weird and foreign being by myself. So for confidence, I need a friend. I don't feel confident by myself, esp at crowded places and outside home, like streets, restaurants, parks and all
John Davison Rockefeller Sr. too was a stoic. That's why he could build such a lofty oil empire. And he too strongly believed in "sometimes it is better to cut off from your environment and venture outside of it!".
Hanging with the right kind of people, my wife and I are dealing with this on a number of levels. We make excuses to people we don’t want to associate with, but have trouble moving a level up.
Thank you for your thoughts on how we can "outrun ourselves"....I've been there and and am there...thank you for your advise in helping me stay where I am....
I really want to have peace in my life, in spite of what is going on with my neighbours...it's going to make me lose a lot of my savings to resolve the problem...so at this late date, I'm still learning about stoisism....thank you...
Tbh LSD is what really taught me that wherever I go I can’t escape myself, but at the same time, I’ve been sort of stuck in a stagnant circumstances not so conducive of progress. Not enough has changed since my childhood & I’m realizing that the environment is in direct correlation to some of my worst characteristics which are reflected in my family. I love & appreciate them a whole lot, don’t get me wrong, I just feel it’s really time to go out on my own & carve my own path. I’ve done quite a lot of inner work over the years & while there was a lot of growth, having that toxic environment where everything’s pretty much the same & others don’t wanna work on themselves has held me back, along with myself getting in my own way of course. It’s a lot of factors to it. With all of that being said, I’m glad I just found your channel as I resonate with the video about going it alone for a while & even this one, I just really think a change of environment where health & growth are prioritized would be favorable for myself.
This was a great video. I have read about being in the present and now and not feeling guilty of the past and stressed about the future in so many books (mostly ancient Indian philosophies). It seems like all great minds figure it out eventually.
I've cut off some friends recently and That was the right move , but a voice in my head wants me to go even further and to cut off some people closer to me, But honestly this is to far. its really good to have boundaries but, Its not going to solve all my problems I realized I was looking to much externally. Great video man, If we really have gained more inner strength and confidence we need to enter uncomfortable situations with our abundance mindset and put it to the test. If nothing REALLY bothers us as much as it use to we shouldn't have to be so rigid, we can become comfortable where we weren't before.
Well done. I'm going to have to read me some Seneca. And, a reminder to me to get back to my moral inventories. Made me a happier person when I took the time to build my own character.
I moved to South America a bit more than a month ago. I think that a change of scenery won't change you, at least as most people expect the change to be. But it really helps you to become hyper aware of who you really are. When back home I was just one out of millions, here I constantly have to look at myself when I speak, when I walk the streets, because I'm different. You can't blend in because it's such a big cultural shock. So what I came to realize is that when you're some place new, you really have to be authentic and be okay with yourself, it kind of connects to your conclusion, in that you need to become resilient, be adaptable and have perspective, to observe rather than to react. I work remotely and responsibilities just follow me anywhere I go, but I think so far the experience has been really helpful.
I am noticing reflecting on your video , that sometimes I’m not so much trying to get away from something or myself as I’m trying to create / find a setting to give myself something I am not allowing myself under my present situation, wanting to justify it to myself because of being on vacation, like lots of time to read for example. There are beautiful settings where I live where I can go with a book and spend the afternoon, it’s a permission issue! So thank you, valuable lesson on so many levels…
