Yug Tsis Muaj Tub Los Txhob Tu Siab. 1/25/2021 

Stories like this, I quote Tupac's lyrics: "Since we all came from a woman Got our name from a woman and our game from a woman I wonder why we take from our women Why we rape our women, do we hate our women? I think it's time to kill for our women Time to heal our women, be real to our women And if we don't we'll have a race of babies That will hate the ladies, that make the babies And since a man can't make one He has no right to tell a woman when and where to create one So will the real men get up I know you're fed up ladies, but keep your head up"

As a mom and a woman I totally agree with this wonderful woman! No love can compare to a mother’s love. This Hmong tradition needs to change. You can be the first one to make the change for the rest of the Hmongs to follow!

Perfectly said 👏. I totally agree the mom's words said to the children. Don't look down on women who gives you life unworthiness.

This is an example of how screw up the Hmong culture is. Agreed 💯 with the mom.

To the children. You guys need to love both parents, more for your mother. Your father divorced her for a young girl, no fault on your mother. Your father was a dog not a good husband. Shame on you sons. You guys don't deserve her love. Karma will get you sons after she died.

A dog like that and u guys still spent 100k on his funeral? The saying, "a tiger won't bite its own kind" holds true. No matter how bad he treated your mom, how he abandoned u guys, how he said he didn't need u guys anymore, and u guys still gave him a funeral worth more than a king.

These sons unworthy of their PHD’s, MA’s, BA’s because they can’t even protect and love their mother, the woman who brought them into this world.

You boys are heartless. Your dad disowned you guys and chose a young wife over you. Yet you readily took him back in and spent over $100K on his funeral while you left your mom lonely in retirement home. Shameful

My mother in law lives with us regardless of her prior marriages to other Hmong last name. We don't punish her for her mistakes in life. MIL is our biggest supporter for us to grow and be successful in life. I lost my parents awhile ago but I have my hubby's mom to get me thru our lives together. I'm glad my husband shuts the world out when it comes to his mom's health and welfare being. I agree with this grandma 💯

I agree with this Mom 100%.

Good for your sister. She's a good, kind, and smart daughter. She knew what she's supposed to do and she took actions by doing the right things. You guys are a bunch of well off sons, but none of u guys are capable of doing anything. U guys are worth less than your sister.

I agree with this mother 💯! The sons are all doctors and master degrees but they are so clueless about the one that really gave them life and liberty! ✌️

It's good to hear from a son's point of view. Pab hlub nej niam kawg. All she wanted was her sons' love and be reassured she would get a proper burial.

What a strong story for everyone to think about and make changes.

1000% agree! Best story yet to help Hmong progress.

I love every word this woman said to her sons. It's a karma 🤷‍♀️to her sons. Gotta love this wise woman.

I've said this many time and will continue to say it. Higher education only equates to financial well being. It has little to do with increasing someone's moral value and personality traits in life. Just look at our Politicians with Ivy Leagues educational background, or our celebrity in Hollywood as an example.

Hmoob ruam tuaj nyob mekas tau 50 lub xyoo no es tseem tsis kam pauv thiab. Nej kawm ntawv siab tab sis nej lub hlwb tsis siab thiaj npam Nej. Ib qhov ob qhov hais txom kwv tij es kwv tij zoo dab tsis rau nej cas yuav ruam uas luaj txog thaum nej niam Nej txiv tuag es kwv tij puas muab tau ib theg nyiaj tuaj pab nej mas thas nej niam Nej txiv Khib nyuab tas 100000 phav day las es uas cas txom thaum kawg Nej neej hos liam tas es puas tsim yog naws hmoob ruam.

It is sad that the sons don't know how to be sons. It didn't matter how many times mom's been married It is still your mom. She raised you and took care of you when you were little. You should honor her wish and her wants. She was at no fault of this divorce. Basically he fucked up.

It’s real brother!! Your mom is the creator of life, she is the sky and the sun that gives sunlight to you and your siblings. It’s very sad, I can’t believe your family spent over 100k on your father but not your mother. I’m disappointed in our culture.

I really like the stories where you add the music in the beginning. It makes me know right away it's your stories. That's a good signature for you to keep doing. 👌:)

Everything your mom said is right. You should have welcome your mom back spiritually.

Your mom is 100% right! Nws foom ces npam nej tiag! If you guys truly love your mom, you guys would bring her back to hu plig ua nej niam dua AFTER your father passed! Technically, your father already disowned you guys after he got his niam mos ab! So it’d be fair that y’all could bring your mom back to hu plig, there’s no one (niam mos ab) getting in the way now since she’s not married to your dad anymore and your father died! So, who’s preventing you guys now?

As a hmong man, I agree with this MOM! If you are so educated, why not change the old ways? Everything is in your belief! You have the right to choose! Remember MOM gives birth to you, not the other ways around! Hmong old men have got to stop with this BS!

H Koj niam hais yog kawg lawm…….hmoob yuav tau pauv nawv

Agree 100% with your mom

Love this story! Food for thought..is it that a son cannot honor the mother after death because the divorce cuts all the family ties. Will a son experience actual physical harm, in the sense of the spirit world or is it just a scare tactic our people have passed down because our culture is predominantly patriarchally based.

Yog 100 % li koj niam hais txhua yam! Hmoob muab dab qhuas los keb tias sib nrauj tag es muab tsis tau peb cov ua ntxhais los ua nej dab qhuas vim nej ntshai tsam nej poob nyiaj los pam tus neeg ntawv nkaus xwb!! Txawm koj txiv tuag los nej yeej muaj feem cuam coj koj niam rov los ua nej dab na!! Pojniam lub fwj chim yeej tsis muaj nqi rau peb cov txiv beej hmoob xwb lwm hom neeg lawv tsis coj li peb hmoob lub siab phem no!!

Qhov nuav ntaag lau Moob lu lug kws has tas ua dlaab "QHUAS" tsi yog ua kuas neej siv tau es neej qhuas tab sis dlaab QHUAS. Those Sons that had been cursed it only 1 step out then You're free from the curses why don't you take it but you rather be cursed... You are now in the free country of religion why not open your eyes to the succesful country but rather closed your eyes with the little mind of enemissism. Men.. open your eyes to the wonderful world of powerful around you...

If we want to make a change, we have to do it ourselves first and not wait for anyone to approve. Brother, if you want that hmong law to change, start doing it yourself first. Teach your kids the right way to follow it. Thanks for your story. It's a good lesson and delivers a good message that hmong people need to start chang those ridiculous rules!

we the younger generation will not carry our Hmong tradition if it continues to be sexest like this. your mom is more important than your religion... just go to church if your relatives refuse to change.

Yog kuv tseem muaj niam nyob es yog lub neej zoo li nej niam no lub neej lawm ntshe kuv yuav MUAB Nyuj los hu kuv niam PLIG rov los ua Kuv NIAM DUA..YOG TSIS MUAJ KUV NIAM YUAV TSIS MUAJ KUV ZOO LI HNUB NO...THOB XAV KOM ZOO ZOO MOG...HMOOB...COV TUB...

Oh! Cas nej cov kwv tij ho ua tau li ko rau nej niam na rov hu plig muab yus niam rov los ua yus niam xwb tseem tsis kam thiab nej phem tshaj li os nim no yug tau ntxhais xwb los haj yam zoo lawm xwb os 💕

Cov kwv tij nej niam hais raug kawg nkaus

It comes down to love and respect. It is BS pure and simple. This family wants to use culture as an excuse. The culture of Hmong men wanted to have multiple wifes and young wife as trophy wife is acceptable. It is duplicitous behavior and learned behavior. It starts at home. The younger generation has to change for the better.

When you have money anything is possible to change. It is just us, prior to COVID-19, Hmong funeral are 3 to 4 days and now it is only 1 day, save money, skip a lot of traditional rituals. In other word if you are a son and you have balls anything is possible!

In Hmong culture, if the wife went on and married another clan, they are responsible and reliable for her but for this case the father and sons are wrong. She got kicked out the original clan and had to find new love, then she got kicked out after her 2nd husband died. Where else she gonna go? She's free to cone back home and join her sons. They cannot reject her based on her situation. You cannot choose your kwv tij over your mom!!! Come on boys, love your mother!

Kab lis kev cai yog los ntawm neeg lub siab thiab lub qhov ncauj xwb! Cov poj niam thov saib nej tus kheej kom muaj nqis! Nej tsis hlub nej txiv neej yeej tsis hlub nej!

Tiam 21 zoo li cov ntxhais hlub Niam txiv dua lawm. Ib cov tub yeej hlub Niam txiv tabsis muaj tsawg lawm xwb.

Pojniam txoj kev yug menyuam yog qhov zoo tshaj...txiv neej twb yuav pojniam los yug menyuam xwb mas

Some of you that hold important roles in the Hmong 18 last names organization or as a leader to your clan, if you want younger generations to grow up and keep the Hmong traditions and respect organizations like the 18 last names, you need to listen to these type of stories and make changes to your organization to more inclusive, have equality regardless of gender, economic status, or family status. I love being Hmong and have a lot of respect toward most part of our culture and religion, but I just want my daughters to be viewed by society as valuable as their sons :(

Hmoob tsev sawm txheej USA twb sau kev cai and change hmoob culture ... G hais tus txhais los yog 3 niam thaum mus yuav txiv los yog hla ib roog rov los . Es cia nyob tom mom caum tsev na ... They were change already....go to research at there and you must to be change your old culture.

Tus phoojywg, tavtwg peb tseem coj dab ces yeej yuav hloov tsis hmoob txoj cai ib zaug li. Niaj hnub no cov ntseeg ib tug tuag ib tug tsev twb tau, txawm tsis koom dab koom qhua. Ua cas sawvdaws xij tsis dhuav txoj kev ua dab tauj dav li os cov phoojywg.

Tej laus ib txwm hais tias “Yus khawb tsis cuag yus nraub qaum”. Nej niam qhov teeb meem no muaj kev tawm yooj yim heev. Xav paub no tuaj ntsib kuv. Kuv yuav pab dawb xwb.

Nej cov hmoob es tsis paub Vajtswv yeej tsis paub txog txoj kev hlub li, tsuas hais txog nej txoj kablig kev caiv ua dab yog qhov tsheem ceeb xwb nej mas tseem ruam tiag tiag.

Yeej tsis txhaum dab qhov twg tuaj li mog ib tsoom me hmoob. Tsuas yog muaj txhaum neej nkaus xwb os.

Cov vivncaus txhob txhawj peb mus ntseeg kavmeej ces tsis txhawj li lawm tseem zoo tshaj mus church naj

Twb tsis hais txog thaum yus laus es ua tsis tau, thaum yus tseem ua taus lawv twb tsis muaj txoj kev hlub txog father day kuv cov me nyuam cov lawv txiv mus noj hos txog mother day kuv cov me nyuam twb tsis care txog kuv kuv divorced lawv txiv siab phem heev li rau kuv

koj niam cov lug yog kawm lawm. nej cov txiv neej yuav tsum thim xav thiab. txoj kev no yog raug rau cov txiv neej nej xav li cas xwb. peb cov poj niag laug2 peb tseem nyob peb. nej cov txiv neej laug2 lawm nej tseem mus yuav ib tug los ua nyuab rau tej tub tej ntxhais nej cov tub txw xav ua xwb. niam Nruab Teev twb tau tham zaj tug yawm txiv muab tug ntxhais cov xeeb ntxwv los hu plig ua yawm txiv cov me nyuam nim no twb nyob mes kas kwb tsw muaj ab tsw yug hais tias zoo caig zoo xwb

Nej lam kawm ntawv tag qib siab xwb tab cov ntawv nej kawm ko yog ntawv ruam xwb os. Nej niam twb hais meej meej thiab nej twb pib pluag li nej niam cov lus thaum nej niam txoj sia tsis tau tu na, es koj tseem yuav nug peb tias puas kho tau. Kuv mas kho yooj yim xwb os, coj kiag kuv niam mus church xwb ces kev npam dhau tag vim koj txiv twb hais meej meej tias kom nej nrog koj niam no ne. Ruam dhau lawm ces cia npam mus mog.

Qhov no thiaj qhia hais tias Hmoob kev cai dab qhuas yog dev npua cai no mas kwvtij. Rhuav txoj cai dev no pov tseg ces yeej yuav npam li tus tus niam no hais ntag..

Your mom has 5 of you brothers if ur older brother can't take her back why can one of you take her back or even you? What's the point of having sons when none of you can't even take her back and take care of her!? Shamed on you guys. Daughters are the best. I am so happy for your sister. She truly deserves her blessings. But I am so disappointed in you guys. After you saw what happens to your sister you wanted to take her back? Well it's too late now. You all deserved what's coming to you.

Its seem like you guys are smart in education, but not smart to know what’s right to wrong. Your mom, even she didn’t had the Dr. degree like you guys did she know what’s right to wrong. She is way smarter then all of you guys. Divorced was between your dad and your mom, but you guys as her sons should welcome her. Stood up against your dad and be a real men. It seem like you guys can’t even be a real men and everything had to be proved by your dad. If she was my mother, i wouldn’t even asked my dad at all. She can lived with me and i just do jingle bell for her to become my last name again. A mother cried is NOT a good things especially in ours Hmoob culture. She can cursed you and it will be true and you be cursed for eternity . This is one reason i don’t like to make my parent cry especially my mom. You guys broken her heart. She is right about everything she say before she passed away. You guys should throw away your Dr. degree in the trash.

Tu siab tshaj rau tag nrho cov niam. Txog thaum yus yug tau ib pab los txog qhov kawg tsis muaj tus hlub tau yus. Hmoob txoj cai no tsis muaj qab hau. Yog yus niam tiamsi ho ntshai txaum kab li kev cai. Txoj cai no yog tib neeg lub qhov ncauj xwb. Yog yus hlub yus niam ces yus hais tias zoo ces zoo xwb. Yus niam zoo tam lub ntuj rau yus.

You are not genuine in asking for forgiveness. U only did that bc u were afraid of being curse. U didn't do the right thing when it's time. U tried to do it after the fact. So no, u still gonna get karma. Let that be a lesson to u for not lending a helping hand to your own mom.

Cov tub no cov degrees ces muab sov quav xwb os. Nej ces kawg npam tag tiag

Hello we lived in 2022. Y would u do this to your mother. Your mother I right 100%. Y do u care what other people thinks. I'm sure they wouldn't do this to there own mom.

Brother nej tsis smart ces nej tau koj txiv cov koob hmoov xyob txiaj ho koj tus sister smart ces nws thiaj tau koj niam cov koob hmoov muaj nyiaj lawm ntas.

yog kawg nkaus li nej niam hais. mus pw rau ncoo siab siab xav rau nej niam cov lus os cov tub cag thiab cov tub kawm txawj kawm ntse.

I totally agree with the mom, hmong culture need to be fix. Cov txiv neej qub2 hliov nawb.

Your dad was not a good father and husband. Ditch the man and the cousins. Take the mom and go to church. Have a happy 😃 life…

Yog li nej niam hais lawm hu tus phone kuv qhia nawb thiaj daws tau qhov teebmeem nawb

Yeej tsis muaj dab tsis muaj qhua yuav txhaum li os Tim hmoob lub qhov ncauj xwb yus hais tias zoo ces zoo xwb dab tsis muaj qhov muag dab muaj pob ntseg xwb os 😡😡poj Niam tsis muaj nqi CES thov kom txiv neej txhob yuav poj Niam lawv es CIA txiv neej yuav txiv neej xwb nawb txhob yuav poj Niam lawm os hmoob aw 😭🥵

Ua tsaug rau tus muab thiab tus tham hais tau tu siab heev li o yog ib txoj kev kawm kev xyaum tau zoo kawg li tsis muaj tub los txhob tu Siab

Koj Niam hais yog lawm tsim nyog hmoob yuav tau hloov lawm tiag

Nej cov kwv tij lam kawm ntawv siab xawb nej tsi paub qab hau dab tsi

Just 2 years in Oklahoma and that rich? Or that crazy….?

Plog hais tias peb cov pojniam Hmoob mas mloog lus heev..tso peb cov txiv mus yuav niamyau tim Plog teb, peb cov txivneej Hmoob mas ruam tiag 2, Laus li laus es tseem mus yuav niam nkauj mos ab tuaj yug menyuam ruam..

Why you act like you're innocent by saying bc you live fat or out of town. If you see your brothers not taking your mom in, you can still take her in too, no matter where you live.

i agree with this mother 110%. she is our hero. she deserves a nobel price award even if she i no longer with us. i believe there will be changes afer this story is told. and May , you are one of our ver very first hero in my generation, you have make differences and touch in many people`s life.

What a bunch of TXIV 🐕 this poor lady gave birth too, including her hubby. Those txiv 🐕 need to go 6 feet under too

Such well educated, weak sons.

One of the best stories!

Thank you for sharing your story, brother. I hope this is a well lesson to learn for the Hmong to change the tradition.

Poj hmoob nplog ntse tiag2 li tos hais tias lawv Kam tuaj yuav thaub laus os lawv aw, thov kom cov phev hmoob hloov lub siab phem2 no CIA thiab ntshe hmoob yuav tsis vam meej txheej dhau txheej tiam rau tiam li os😭

Tsis nlub niam ces tau kev npam li

Why,?? She go remarry then???

Your mom was correct in so many ways. It’s almost like you boys sided with your dad to hurt your mom. Your dad was so ruthless towards your mom, and he gave you guys up, but at the end your brother took him in and you all gave him a funeral he didn’t deserve. What a shame. Good thing, she was brave enough to cursed you guys.

Hais tau tu siab tshaj plaws

Men cov tub ua tsi tau txiv kiag li!!! Twb tai tsim nyog yug los kiag!! Shit tshaj plaws!!! Tuag tsaug2 mus lawv kj txiv qab xwb

Nej cov tub cag yuav tsum los kho txoj niag kev cai phem 2 saib poj niam tsis muaj nqe no. koj niam yog ib tug neeg ntse kawg li tsuas yog yug los ua poj mhoob thiaj tsis ua tsis tau dab tsi khuab nej qhov muag xwb.

Your mom totally right.

The old Hmong religion and laws are created by old men to benefit old men. Hmong needs to change, adapt and adjust Hmong's religious practices. The old way is too strict, unequal and outright unjust. It needs to change. That said, what matters is what you think and what you do NOT what others think. If you say after a divorce you can still live with and bury your mother, who cares what others say... it's not their mother. Your mother gave birth to you, raised you, protect you, care for you... would rather starve so you can eat... when there's only 1 potato left, your mother (and father) would feed you and themselves go hungry. But after divorce, you treat your mother less than a stranger. You mother's words are on the spot. Why would you rather bury your step-mother and not your own mother? You and your brothers are so unfilial. The karma you and your brother received doesn't even come close to the pain, suffering and anguish of your mother. You and your bothers deserve far more suffering.

I'm proud of your sister ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

Koj niam hais yog kawg

Noob phem yeej phem, like fathers like son, cov tub no na apple yeej poob tsis deb ntawm tsov ntoo

Her philosophy is absolutely true. ❤❤❤

When your dad divorced your mom he also divorce all your kid's along with her. All your kid's don't have his monster but your kid's take your dad back like nothing happen. Me, I take my mom back like no tomorrow, I don't care what anyone say.

Hais yog heev li

I agree 1000%. And so sad to Hmong coj dab traditional. 😭😭😭😭 I'm so happy to be Christian. We don't do that.

Tus niam tsev koj txhua lo lus yog 100%! Muab nej cov tub cov degrees so quav kom tas. Cov txiv neej no yog ib co dab noj nyoog haus txias, xav muab poj niam siv dawb. Tos nej cov txiv neej coj phem los nej yeej nyiam kev phem.

I disagree. Any religion that does not promote love is false. However, as for Hmong religion, "pog nplas, yawg nplas" los yeej kawg moog ntuj txag, teb tsaus, ntuj nqaa teb nquab xwb. Tsis yog "pog nplas, yawg nplas" los yeej yuav kawg ntuj txag, teb tsaus, ntuj nqaa teb nquab ib yaam. Yog le hov, no different.

It too bad for these children! Nej yeej deserves nej Noam cov lus lawm. Cov menyuam no tseem tseem Yog kawv txawj xwb, tsis NTSE! Nco ntsoov hais tias kawv ces yeej txawj tabsis tus neeg NTSE ces yug los kawv ntawm tsis siab los yeej NTSE!

Get MODERN already hmoob ppl!! It’s 2022. Get real!! We R all humans!!

Holy cow?!? $112,000 for your dad's funeral. What is he? Royalty?! Hmong people we need to stop being so wasteful. The guy is dead. What are you trying to prove? SMH! Bless your sister for loving and caring for your mother. She deserves all your mom's love and blessing.

Cov tub no tsis paub tab xwb os. Ntawm kev cais Hmoob cov tub yeej muab Niam rov los hu tau ua tus tub cov dab kawg mas. The sons don’t really need the dad or relatives approval. Lawv tsuas muaj lawv Niam hu plig los kom lwm hnub tas sim neej lawv ua tau dab quad rau lawv Niam xwb. Yog cov Kwv tij tseem tsis pab lawv thaum khawg los, mam kom Vaj Tsab Xeem lis tuaj nrog lawv nta xwb seb cov kwv tij thiab lawv txiv puas Txawj muag xwb. Cov tub no tsis muaj peev xwm xwb os, tsis yog dab tsis. It has been don’t before, I have seen it. It is ok to do it, so no excuses for these sons not to do it.

These type of Hmong cultural norms toward Hmong women need to be abolished. It is nothing more than man created rules to suppress women. This tradition is nothing of value to our community. It needs be discontinued

Kuv yog ib leej niam thiab, kuv yeej xav hais tias koj niam hais yog lawm nawb mog. Cov tub aw ua cas nej yuav tsis txawj xav li os es nej niam twb thov nej npaum li cas los nej yeej tsis muaj ib tug yuav tau nej niam kiag li os, nej yog ib co tub siab phem tshaj thiab tsis txawj xav, pab koj niam tu siab yug tau ib pab los tsis muaj leej twg Hlub koj niam. Phem thiab zoo los koj niam yog niam lawm ces yog nws foom nej vim nej tsis hlub koj niam ces nej yeej yuav npam li koj niam hais nawb nawb mog.

mus pog nplas thiab yawg nplas ces yog (Abraham) yog mus VAJTSWV teb chaws nab npawb 1 los mas cas thiaj yuav tsis kam, yuam kev loj lawm lau, kav tsij mus pog nplas yawg nplas teb chaws lawn hnub thiaj yuav tau txoj sia nyob mus ib txhais mos

Its up to you not your relatives, you’re the one who’s holdings the rule for your family. Relatives aren’t the one at the end going to come up with money for the funeral.