Welcome to My Life In Debris. What started out as a channel chronicling my journey with OCPD has transitioned from a passion project to a channel with a mission. Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder is a mental health issue facing (from recent estimates) a possible 3 to 10% of the population. Though it may be hard to imagine a disorder that so little is known about could be affecting so many people, the likelihood is that you have someone in your life that is dealing with this as we speak. And sadly, you might be ‘dealing’ with this as well, as the maladaptive traits that make up this disorder can make life challenging for those of you with someone in your life with OCPD.
My content is now aimed at helping navigate what it’s like to have the disorder, what it’s like to interact with someone with this disorder and how to best treat OCPD & to live a more meaningful and peace filled life. Please join me in the comments sections as this is all about what we can accomplish together.
I did all you have said for over 20 years. 1000 percent i did this. But things were only calm when he was my focus. I was losing myself. My life on the backburner. No one will understand unless theyve been through this. We are divorced but im watching this video because I still worry about him and to know that there are others like me who left and grappling with the grief. I am still there him and support him in many ways. On good days he is grateful on bad days i get expletives. My thoughts and prayers to everyone going through this.
@Infinitynow696 you are such a good person to continue to try and support him after all you've been through in your relationship. I wish that there was a miracle cure, but even with all of my suggestions, most people are unable to overcome this mental illness. I wish you all the best and I hope that the current research being done will eventually lead to happier lives for those with OCPD, and for those that care about someone with OCPD.
@@OCPD_support thank you for your kind words. Finding this channel is a godsend. It is great that more people get to understand it. Back in the day even the doctors had no idea and i had to do my own research 😞 all i can do now is to have compassion. I know his bad days is the illness taking over. So i have strong boundaries and because of that I am doing so much better with myself and my own life. I wouldn’t abandon anyone close to me because of illness so why would I abandon someone I married. Take care all!
Okay so with the subtypes i relate most to conscientious for sure, bit also I'm very cheap, unwilling to share and yeah maybe hoard a bit so a bit of parsimonious. I was a bit confused with bedevilled, i can b passive aggressive for sure and have trouble making decisions and moving forward. Also puritanical but i like to think I'm not judgemental to others because that's against my rules lol. It's a bitter pill to swallow thinking that u r a hypocrite, i am one in ways for sure
@heedmydemands everyone is a hypocrite. As long as thinking and saying are easier than doing, every person will succumb to hypocrisy from time to time. And what you describe are all elements of personality. How much each trait negatively affects our life and the lives of those around us will determine whether or not our level of that specific trait is healthy or unhealthy.
I'm scared that i might have this. My therapist gave me a diagnostic impression of BPD and ADHD but I'm not sure she's correct. I also identify with DPD. I can recognize OCPD in my dad and sister too. I don't know if I'm as bad as them, i do doubt myself quite a bit, i don't think I'm always right. I definitely do have sky high standards for myself and i know it's worse for others when they're closer to me, it's like the standards start to bleed over onto them as well, not sure if I'm explaining that well. I'm crap at teaching people because i have no patience and i have kids so yeah it comes up quite a bit. I hope i can do better
@heedmydemands no matter what, you're on the right track by having a therapist. Having a correct diagnosis has value, but at the end of the day, a good therapist is working with your thought processes and how they relate to the big picture. It's always within your power to get a second opinion, but I like that you have already sought out help.
@@OCPD_support well the help was because of serious problem with depression, I'm now on antidepressant, or maybe it's for anxiety, anyway it's helping the depression I'm pretty sure. I know it's different for different people but my experience was very painful, some people r numb but I was really in a lot of pain, crying. I don't know how well I really understand anxiety even tho I have tried to learn about it, sometimes things just don't click for easily for me. It took such a long time for me to understand that I have had problems with depression since I was a kid
The rants are irrational 😵💫 It breaks my heart that my loved one has this issue. But it is so clear that she has OCPD 😢 I found that if I join her rant and then I slow down she will join me in slowing down😢
@mrstammy8357 I'm sorry to hear that your loved one is living with this and that you are also being impacted. I think your technique sounds like a great short-term solution. In the long run, it'll probably wear on you as well, so I hope that your loved one is also receiving help.
My 22 year old son was diagnosed with OCPD after his second stay in the hospital for suicidal idealization. His anxiety and OCPD is so bad, he is housebound. Everything you describe resonates with how he describes he is feeling. I plan on educating myself as much as possible. Thank you!
@annevogel11 I am very saddened to hear that. I hope that he is receiving the best help now. If you ever have any questions, you can feel free to leave them in the comments and I'll do my best to answer them.
I was dating someone diagnosed with OCPD and he was brilliant. However, he would tell me I was, "too good to be true." He put me on a pedestal to one day push me off and watch me completely break.
Hi! I'm currenlty in confusion wheter i possibly has OCD or ODCP, as I have both symptomps and aware i have at least one of them. The thing is, I need everythin in most efficient way possible but i procasinate a lot, which in fact is OCPD but i also been told from my firends i have bad case os OCD, as I always check something too much. I will check my mail like 10 times before i send,a nd even then ill check again. I want to seek treatment but I'm not allowed to go to either psychiatrist and therapist, so i'm doing my best to try to be better at least a bit until i can afford myself. I know i can't self diagnose, but i'm going crazy at this rate, just the thought of playing game not in order/efficiently will make my mind go crazy. For example, playing new games/studying new topics, i have to do it on Monday/First day of the month, If somehow i miss it (becasue i procasinate) i will have to redo it next week or month all over again, no matter if i already finishe dhalf of it. If i miss something in game i have the urge to redo all over again, to the point where its driving me crazy. I don't know what to do, and I'm really stressed
@YuuKonpaku I can understand very well how your situation would cause a great deal of stress. I'd be happy to try and make some suggestions, but I don't quite understand your situation. Why is it that you are not allowed to seek treatment? I would not waste time worrying about what your friends think you are experiencing. They are in no position to diagnose you, just like I would be in no position to diagnose you.
The need to control the narrative comes thru from the get-go. The ppl-pleaser too. Justifying endlessly, mired in minutia to the point of procrastination..... And I could see how this might be seen as a target by bullies.
Thank you for doing this work and putting this information in a video that I understand. My bf recently moved in and he is exhibiting a struggling. He needs every shoe in the cubby or it really gets to him. He sees it as me not respecting him. And of course the list is really long. It’s not just the shoes. The longer he lives here the more I find myself changing how I do things. And I am fine if it is a compromise. But typically when we compromise he ends up struggle to be ok with it. It has to be His way or he literally goes into a funk or a temper tantrum. Neither are fun to deal with. The last 48 hours he has been upset 5 times. Makes it hard for me to be my happy-go-lucky self.
@houserjj I can empathize with your situation. You haven't asked any questions or for any advice, so I will refrain from providing my opinion. I hope that you find my videos useful and I hope that there is a better solution to your situation in the near future.
Has anyone else been diagnosed with ocpd and later found out they are also autistic? It’s difficult to find much info but the little bit I’ve gathered they seem to overlap often
@avocadomegs4189 at the moment, most information on this topic is anecdotal. Hopefully you'll get some more answers to your questions from other people hanging out in the comments. Also, you could post this question in the forum on OCPD.org
Very good points. I didn't bring up OCPD to my spouse. I called out the comorbid depression and said that I couldn't watch him suffer to this degree anymore. He could go for an evaluation and try to start helping himself, or he could live alone. I have my own psych diagnoses and knew that any psychiatrist worth their diploma would screen for personality disorders once the depression started to resolve, and that is exactly what happened. It took changing doctors 5 or 6 times to crack the denial, plus me getting pretty blunt and consistent with calling out ocpd behaviors in the moment they were happening at home to get him to finally acknowledge that this label, as distasteful and stigmatizing as it is, is still the best description of the problem patterns that we've got because it leads to the most effective, targeted treatment. It's still a battle every day and many things haven't improved, there are still phases where he gets caught in denial again, but it waa also 100% worth convincing him to get help. Not necessarily because i have an easier time, but because he certainly does, at least when he's actively working on it.
@weaviejeebies sounds like you are a rockstar! Amazing job sticking with your partner and working alongside them to get them the help that they need. I'm trying out a lot of different methods myself at the moment and hope to make a video soon discussing what has worked and what hasn't. Thanks for sharing your experience. I think others will appreciate reading your comment.
Personality disorder (like skin or bone sickness) It a lense thought whichi see the world ( true or false) I have ocpd It's a filter of my thoughts I am never wrong ( rigidity ) The matrix Work over life ( perfectionism) Angry argumantative pessemistic anxious The lives of thise around him is a hell life. Success rate is low Divorce and suicidale rate is high
@twinzzzzyyyy I would say that this is a serious issue in the relationship that may require couples counseling. In a healthy relationship, no topic should be off-limits.
@timonza both things are possible. OCPD is commonly misdiagnosed as OCD by mental health professionals. But it's also possible that someone without knowledge of OCPD might think that they've been diagnosed with OCD.
Ive been with my partner for 5 + years. He has a history of depression and anxiety and I suspect he has ocpd. Hes extremely sensitive and takes any criticism as a personal attack. If i tell him he's wrong he gets defensive and lashes out. He gets very upset if things are out of place. He's literally stood over me telling me I was washing a dish wrong. If I joke around with him he takes fun loving sarcasm as a personal attack and swears im trying to hurt him. He has strong opinions about how everyone else should live theie lives and tells other people how they should to do things. He's tried to tell me what to wear, how i should wear my hair. Ive told gim u could never live with him because he's very persnickety. I was being kind .. he gets very mad when i say that. I've told him hes domineering and he doesn't believe he is. He's very generous with his money and has a stable job. Hes not a bad person. I love him, but I don't see a future with him if things keep going this way.
@jenniferlouise4538 I'm sorry to hear about how difficult your relationship is. There is nothing more complicated than an unhealthy balance in a relationship where there is still a lot of love. If you are looking to understand if he can change, he can. But that change will only come with acknowledgment first and professional help second.
I was diagnosed with OCPD and GAD by my long time psychiatrist. I still can’t believe it. I know I’m very prone to panic attacks and anxiety attacks. I had several nervous breakdowns maybe caused by my health issues that keep creeping up. But til today I still can’t believe I’m OCPD.
I think I know someone who has this but I’m not a professional nor am I neurotypical either. Also, this comment section is freaking me out, but people constantly misinterpret folks with ASD and I have a micro channel on yt so I know how it is lol Do you think someone with OCPD has the self-awareness to mask their symptoms and consistently tell lies to a friend they care about or are trying to ‘impress’? I’m worried about them and want to tactfully bring it up but don’t want to cause them any emotional pain. I’ve caught them telling a couple of ‘white lies’ though and want to bring it up. They have told me that they appreciate a direct approach in the past (they know I have ASD), but now I’m starting to believe that they may have been masking to seek approval from me. I don’t want to cause them any harm or anything by starting a conversation bc I appreciate them a lot. Thank you 🙏 I appreciate your videos ❤❤❤
@AutisticBarbie it's incredibly caring and kind to want to go out of your way to find a path to helping this person that you know. Thank you for being the type of person to offer that sort of support. I'm sure you understand that your question is tricky. It's tricky because we don't know if this person has OCPD, nor do we know if they have any comorbid disorders. But if we put that aside, I can give you a straightforward answer. Yes, it is possible to disguise one's symptoms for many reasons. It's not possible to do this consistently over longer periods of time, but it can be accomplished for short bursts. It's great that you don't want to cause them harm, but you are not responsible for another person's mental health. I find that for someone with OCPD, the truth is the best path forward. You can still be gentle, but being honest is the way to go.
@@OCPD_support ❤️ thank you. I spoke to them and it turned out OK. They are dealing with something else. Take care and be well. I love your videos and RU-vid backgrounds
@wisteria1739 there's likely to be both genetic and developed components to this disorder. However, there is no one single consensus in regards this question.
What goes on in the mind of someone with OCPD during the process of getting to know each other in a relationship? I met someone through a dating app and noticed several things that seemed off about him. He mentioned that if things didn't go according to plan or if he were to be late, it would ruin his day. He also admitted to being stubborn and insisted that things he deemed important must be done his way. He had a stiff demeanor, wasn't very talkative, and sometimes had a critical look about him. During our chats, I could see he was stubborn and he couldn't help but offer his commentary. On our second date, he mentioned finding it too expensive to go to the zoo, which I found cringe-worthy for a second date. He also expressed concern about wasting money. I'm someone with my own opinions who can't easily be swayed, and he knew that. Despite this, I could see he was interested in me and wanted to continue. Sensing something was amiss, I addressed the communication issues, being a social and spontaneous person myself. I asked him honestly if he still had interest. He admitted to sometimes being convinced and sometimes not at all, which was unexpected and blindsided me. He explained that the problem was he had an idealized image in his head and deviated from it. Despite continuing out of interest and hope, he didn't know what the outcome would be. He indicated that he knows that sometimes you have to deviate from your ideal image and then he gave whether he is just wise to himself? Seeing his confusion, I told him that if he had doubts, it was best for him to end it with me. I then promptly blocked him. Sometimes I feel guilty for not discussing further, as I could see he was confused. For those with OCPD, what do you actually feel when you're in a relationship and have interest in the person but their standards sometimes don't align?
I have my 23year old cousin who has this same issue and he is taking therapy. He is too young. Is there a hope in his case, that he will fully recover? Cause, he knew his problem at the age of 23.
@frankskool1351 "fully recover" means different things to different people, so I can't answer that question specifically. But is there hope that he will make significant changes and lead a happy life? Absolutely.
Damn y’all are so mean in the comments and can definitely tell are jaded as well. It’s harmful and hurtful to label people with OCPD as Evil, mean and downright “unfixable”. I appreciate your responses to the comments @ocpdfoundation. I some people are hurt, but I suppose the hurt people hurt people saying is true. I’m here to say there is light at the end of the tunnel and everybody that has OCPD doesn’t have the same symptoms. Everybody isn’t mean.
@anasanchezism thank you so much for your caring and supportive comment. I can fully understand that some of the people commenting are in a lot of pain and have had terrible experiences. Because of that I am more than happy for them to share their feelings and experiences in my comment section. But if a person crosses the line into what I view as unwarranted attacks on people with OCPD, of course I'm going to speak up and defend my community. I appreciate you doing the same thing!
@mikhoward there are many variables to consider. I would say that for those who choose to accept an OCPD diagnosis and want to actively work on improving, the odds are decent. For those that reject a diagnosis, well it's very unlikely any change would occur naturally for the better.
I'm in a new relationship with someone with OCPD which has me really delving into the disorder (I have a few comorbities myself) and I've noticed some common traits in myself but this one is the first that made me feel like I might have OCPD, but just on my rock bottom so I constantly think I'm wrong 😢 worried I'll self sabatoge the relationship because I cant handle the imbalance while she has the disorder, but the success to back her up that justifies her behavior over mine... now I'm shutting down worse because every day I am reminded I AM a failure..
I have OCPD. And I've notice that ON AVERAGE, people that are FORCED to be around me, due to unavoidably SHARED ENVIRONMENT, accept me very well... Yet people who know me only sidewalkally, don't accept me at all. I'm just an unexplainable WEIRDO to them...
@mikeskylark1594 that makes perfect sense. We are not one dimensional beings. We are a mix of good and bad. If our condition presents itself as mostly "bad" first, then casual acquaintances will only know this side of us. Those that are around us longer, will get to know the parts of our personality that are of high caliber.
