Shavasti, also known as the author John L Payne, is the author of two books on Family Constellations, The Language of the Soul and The Healing of Individuals, Families and Nations. He offers 25 years of experience in Family Constellations facilitation and offers workshops globally. He works with both groups and individuals offering Private Intensives and Online sessions.
In addition to Family Constellations, Shavasti has a background in Energy Healing and attended professional studies in Energy Healing for 5 years.
Shavast's work is truly global, offering workshops in the USA, Cyprus, Romania, Bulgaria, Egypt, New Zealand, Bali and other locations to which he is invited. He has facilitated more than 500 workshops and has held space for thousands of private sessions.
Thank for sharing this Shavasti ❤I have been watching your videos for years… you have helped me heal a very difficult relationship with my parents. They did the best they could considering their circumstances. As a parent now I innerstand their struggles. Will send this to my teenage daughter. Grateful for your teachings.
Hei Shavasti. Can you please tell me why I cannot feel things in family constelations? I ve been to 5 sessions, only once or twice have I felt emotions. I m so numb, can't feel a thing, not for me or others, why is that? Everybody else seems to have a different experience, they feel things..I feel nothing
I would like to suggest that you try Somatic Experiencing - somewhere along the line you've buried your feelings, better to start with the body - best wishes Shavasti www.familconstellations.net
Oh my God! Thank you so so much! This explains everything for me. all this "unnecessary" misery and lack in my life....all out of loyalty towards my mothers miserable life. ....its time to become myself ❤
My mother would say "Hell No!" to me asking her: "Dear mother please bless me if I have the courage to be happier than you" and she hating havoc in my life.
We say this internally, independent of how the other responds. It designed to free us from destructive loyalties -Warmly, Shavasti www.familyconstellations.net
I appreciate what you're saying. There's an avoidance of pain in health services, where reasonable legitimate indeed evidenced fear is dismissed as a personal failure to be positive or catastrophising. That is utterly gaslighting & silencing which adds anger to the fear in a cul-de-sac with nowhere to go. It's the loneliest place in the world.
Thank you, Shavasti - I feel very resonant with what you are saying. What would be a neutral way to respond to somebody who tries to bestow this burden/power on us by saying, "Please forgive me"?
When we've injured a relationship through our words or actions we cannot then ask the other to give us something on top of the trust that has already been removed - our job is to apologise and take full responsibility for our words and actions. If someone were to say to me 'please forgive me' I would reply gently with something like 'My love for you remains, but the job of forgiveness is yours and yours alone'. Thank you for the prompt, I may make a video clip on this. Warmly, Shavasti www.familyconstellations.net
@Shavasti, that is beautiful; thank you for taking the time to respond. And what if the person is unable to say "my love for you remains" because they have not yet come to such a place internally after experiencing a significant injury with the person asking for forgiveness? How could they respond without rejecting them while not feeling forced to assure them of a love which they cannot feel at the moment? Thank you, warm regards, B
And can it be: I acknowledge, honour and respect you as my lifegivers, with all the limitations that are present, and at the same time it doesnt serve in my best interest to spent time with you )
Hello, what if I can't stay in a relationship because I get bored after having sex some times? Does it mean that I have to be free to love multiple people and I won't be able to have a long term relationship with anyone? The thought scares me, because when I'm in no relationship I feel horrible with the occasional highs from hooking up with girls, but when I'm in a relationship I always long for opening up my heart and making love also with other girls, and I feel limited, stifled and the relationship becomes more of a platonic love thing, with my libido going down and me not wanting to have sex with her and becoming insufferable. Help
Also, how can I know if the path of not being in a relationship (or being in one long term) is the right one for me instead of being dictated by emotions and thought that come from trauma, personal and/or systemic?
These questions cannot be answered here, best dealt with in the therapy room, it requires dialogue, investigation and process - warmly, Shavasti www.familyconstellations.net
As the graddaughter of Irish immigrants that left their homeland at age 19 in 1912 (and never saw or heard their parents or grandparents voices again), I carry ancestral divide and loss in me and it has impacted my life. Both my grandmothers suffered from depression. And I had one angry grandfather (the one who immigrated) and another who was sad. Family constellations has shed light on how I, as the granddaughter, have been stuck in the loyalty to my ancestors. Your videos here give me hope for healing even at this stage in life (age 65). I am grateful for your insight and wisdom.
I am so glad you acknowledged the Zulus in relation to Family Constellations. I, for one, am immensely grateful to them and their traditions as the source of the deep origins of this work. 🙏💜
The Zulus from my understanding are not the 'source' of this work, but it was their honouring of the ancestors that influenced Bert Hellinger. FC really finds its roots in the work of Virginia Satir and is the result of many influences on its creator, Bert Hellinger. Thanks, Shavasti www.familyconstellations.net
And just like that! I see how this has driven so many of my decisions, in career development and relationships! Thank you! Add being the eldest and I can see the bond(age)
Huh…see I find this as another way of the adults again gaining less of a consciousness and accountability in their part to the pain they caused and the hurt person AGAIN having to take on not only the sacrifice of self they had to make to take on the parents pain but now again almost be the parent role again. I don’t know how this could be healing in certain circumstances, especially with significant abuse. I feel it’s bypassing a validation that could lead to empowerment.
Thank you !!!!👏👏🌸. Wonderful and very helping perspective on our suffering and difficulties , and how constellation work can be such a helpful tool to navigate those issues 🥰🌸
