This is my diary. My very public dairy that I keep to try and keep me sane.
I have been told I am different my whole life. I never understood it but I do now. My level of self-awareness is insane. Makes it harder sometimes though.
I live with many demons. I want to learn, grow and evolve. It is a journey. One I have been on one for many years and will continue to be on for life. Evolving is what I believe will save our species. But for now, all I can do is keep on trying to help myself be a better person. It's hard work, believe me.
I share all that I do because I remember being in the darkest depths of nothingness and the horror I felt there. I have bad days, but I hold onto everything I have not to go there again. I share because if even a single thing I say helps you, then to me, it is worth it.
I share videos, provided I am awake, that I upload before viewing. This keeps me as honest and authentic as I can be. You are worthy. You only need to be you x
Congratulations Liv that you havent Smoked Ice , So Strong of you , Is it in the morning when you are making this Video , You are So Strong, remember that Liv , Call your Sister she Loves you really much ,Mum to but she has her own hard times and problems, Much Love to you and your Family member Boss Greetings to you from Abel Zorin
Yeah, I couldn't sleep due to taking my ADHD medication a couple of hours later than I usually do, so I was awake until the early hours of the morning. I am very pleased with myself when it comes to quitting and staying off ice. It's a nasty drug. There are substances that I am fully in support of, such as weed and psychedelics, which, in my opinion, should be legal for everyone, but ice can mess a person up really bad. By sharing about my experiences, I figure it might help others. I don't know. I just plan to keep on sharing everything like I usually do :)
Is it evening now in Australia, Have a Great Evening Liv , you are Warrior Women,and you are Brave and you show Courage , I really like you thats why i follow you , Much Love to you and Big Boss, Greetings from Abel Zorin
magic mushrooms is cool , i drink about half a gram crushed up in my tea, I always take small micro doses . dont take 2grams at once and get a bad trip
Hi Liv which date will you move , what is the place called where you will move to , Lovely Boss is active ,and making you Happy , Nobody can tell you what to take ore not to take , your medical Team knows and they help you , Try to every Day eat Breakfast,Lunch ,Dinner and evening small snack , then you will have more energy, You look Great , you have many emotions inside you ,ride the negative emotions like a surfer and then they pass and go away ,you see the negative thoughts but you dont react , Write a journal every Day how it goes and how you are thinking and feeling ,that can help you , like a valve for the emotions and thoughts, What kind of Music are you listening to , what do you like the most on Netflix which series, Much Love to Boss and to you, Greetings to you from Abel Zorin
@user-nl3qr6gm1d Thank you, Abel. I love your comments. They always make me feel good 😌 The adapter for the dash cam has arrived and works, so I will leave some time next week. I have a psychology appointment on Monday, which I am going to attend in person. I am going to a small place near Gladstone, Queensland, Australia. It's so small that it's not even on the map I purchased 😆 After talking to Juice, I have realised that I am going to take everything I originally wanted to. I have the room, so it's silly not to. I am eating better. I think everyone can probably see that in my videos with the weight I've put on in the past few months. This channel and my website are what I use to journal. I accepted long ago that my purpose in life is to share everything in the hopes that others don't feel so alone. Believe me, when I write some of the things I'm feeling, I can't help but feel like I'm going to be judged badly, but then I remember this is real life and no one can truly understand how the next person feels or why they think the way they do. I am trying to live a good life. Helping others while growing myself. Not hurting others. Besides that, if people want to judge me, that’s ok. I realised a couple of days ago that I am not ready to return to university. There are many other things that I want to learn first. I am very happy to have come to this conclusion. I will be keeping everyone updated about my trip. I hope you are well. Sending love ♡
Hi Liv. Calm comes to me when i see your video appear. I'm crying Liv. I'm crying with you mate. My best friend was my Lhasa apso, named Logan. He was my sister's pup before she passed away. I had him by my side for 13 years. At the end, Liv, he couldn't walk or hear but he was fully alive. I verified him for 3 months in my left arm. I brought him to California to be near the sea and where my beautiful sister was laid to rest. He was my heart and my life and part of my sister, Karen. One morning i was holding him for a gentle walk outside and near the sea. I felt his breathing slow and get shallow and i told him over and over that i loved him and he literally saved my life. I'm my now muscular left arm my baby stopped breathing. I was scared and wanted to run into the ocean with him together. I thought to bring him to the vet again but I'm honor of him i just held him and petted his beautiful long blonde hair and i thanked him over and over and over. It killed me inside. It has been 5 years and although i don't cry for him everyday, I'm crying like a baby right now. It's okay to let it out my dear friend. I'm far away my kilometers but Liv i know if we meet up we could be ourselves. I trust you and honor you my brave friend. Bless you friend. Peter❤
I completely agree that we could be our true selves in person. Thank you for sharing about your beautiful friend. Crying it all out really helps sometimes I find, though. I am glad that my videos bring you some peace and benefit. It's nice to know. Especially when I second guess my more emotional videos. I am going to fall asleep now, as it's 2:58 in the morning and I really need to sleep. Hopefully, my bladder lets me. It's been giving me havoc the past few days. Sending you so much light and love Peter x
Hi Liv , i am sad for that Dog that Died , And i am thinking on that Boss is not ok , your Family Member . How come so many Evenings you where sad and really Crying , many videos that you posted it was evening and night and you where not feeling so good ,and so much crying . To mix xanax and Marijuana can Calm the person to much to that degree that it will be hard breathing , Marijuana constricts the blood flow to the brain ,and if the person is already stressad and anxious the effect can get even worse whit Marijuana, neuro scientist Andrew Huberman said that in his Podcast , also Dr Amen on RU-vid are brain researcher that the circulation to the brain gets smaller , please dont be so sad in the evening,try to smoke less Marijuana. Do your great routines that you feel great from ,eat Healthy. Have an open communication whit Juice so you dont get to anxious on the when you move . Warm Greetings to you from Abel
xanex, aka BENZOS are certainly not healthy, neither is Adderall or speed they are both also sold as really hard street drugs ;also beware of any drugs containing heroin or Opioids they are highly addictive
Thank you, Abel. I'm prescribed the medication I take for a reason. The only thing I did wrong yesterday was not take it soon enough. I am barely smoking cannabis. I had one tiny bit yesterday. That's all. I am starting to feel like sharing honestly is not being appropriated when I get comments like like the reply to your one below. I know you mean well, but I'm almost hardly using it and am feeling attacked by some people
STOP telling me what to do with MY medication! I very much do read the comments, and YOU are driving me insane!! I BARELY use cannabis these days and only had the tiniest amount yesterday. Same with my medication, that is to take as needed. I only take it as NEEDED. People are prescribed medication for a reason. Everyone is DIFFERENT! Just because you seem to dislike all medications does not mean I have to. Ok. I appreciate people care, I really do, but I have a fantastic medical team. They are the ONLY people I will discuss my medication with. If you are so against me and everything I do, you don't have to watch my videos. Do you even watch them all the way to the end or just bits and pieces since so many of your comments have been discussed in videos? I am aware that I keep slipping in my mood and have had a few days of crying. I am still devastated by what happened with my mum. My trip keeps getting delayed, and yesterday, I read a post on Reddit about someone losing their dog. Boss is dying, and it set me off. I honestly don't understand why people without a medical degree think they know more than the prescribing doctors. And no, they don't just prescribe anything. It's not that easy. I get that everyone is different and that some things work better, some and not others. But I don't understand why people keep telling me they know better based on a few minutes or so of a video I make. I have actually joined a new, far better medical cannabis company and actually have THC liquid vapes arriving today. It is the first time using them, and as much as I'm sure you disapprove, I am looking forward to trying something new. I really want to make something extremely clear. I do NOT use cannabis like you all seem to think I do. Yesterday, I literally had one puff, and that was it aside from my anti anxiety meds. Which again I take AS NEEDED. Please know that I appreciate people care, but I do not appreciate comments where I'm being attacked by someone who knows nothing about the inner workings of my medication regime. When I first started making these videos, I had a follower constantly message me to the point I no longer enjoyed even looking at the comments. Please do not make that happen again. Also, I would love to know if you, @SheriffofRU-vid, actually read my reply comments since you have decided that I don't read the comments. This is laughable because I most certainly do and have replied to all of yours from what I know. I have also told you to back off regarding commenting on my medication and cannabis intake. The difference between you and Abel, who your comment is in response to, is that he never makes me feel like I'm being attacked. You do. I'm sorry if that’s not your intention, but nevertheless, that is how I feel sometimes. Please hear me when I say that from now on, I will only engage with you on comments, not about my medication etc. Why don't you tell me something about yourself. Why do you follow my videos? How about joining the Discord group. Maybe a back and forth conversation would be better than via the comments. Especially since I honestly don't know if you even read my replies. I will say one great thing has come from waking up to these messages, though. I am feeling great and ready to start my day. I have been really proud of where I got, and I am not going to beat myself up for having a few tearful days. discord.gg/JvKvgEKHns
Its not easy to see you having so Hard Time , Please take time and talk with someone that can visit you , If you feeling not so good write yourself in the Hospital,be there 2-3 weeks ,that can help you , so you eat ,taking your medicine eating Healthy and in right time , I am sad for you, But God has something better for you , trust him and he will help You , In time you will feel so much better , I believe in you , throughout the years you have worked hard ,and you have found new better Life Routine , Much Love to you from Abel Zorin
Please stop talking about my meds. I know I can't go out like that, and I don't. You know nothing about what medication I'm on or the strength of it. I appreciate you are only trying to help, but continually saying this when I have asked you not to is becoming annoying. I have a fantastic medical support team. I am aware that my emotions are extreme. But I do not believe I am the only person on the planet who suffers like this. That is why I share. On top of needing to talk everything out.
dont smoke too much weed , it makes me procrastinate . you cant go driving around in a car,. on meds like Speed you cannot just go put yourself out there. go buy a Power pack with the GPS in your hand,. so you can match the USB to the power supply.. presto you dont need a USB in your car for when the car is off
Much Love to you Liv , Be kind to yourself show so much Love abd Care for yourself, Speak whit Juice and tell him if some point on the Journey you dont maybe will feel well,have an open Communication whit Juice ,tell it like it is ,then he will understand you much better , You have been working and thinking,thats why you are exausted ,you have low energy. To do some light Stretching in the morning , to buy a bike for home use and do Training session despite the pain every Day 30 minutes,that activates the bodies energy,charge the Body like a battery, to do Chi Gong Gymnastics during the day , find a Video on RU-vid. Greetings to you and to Big Boss, Much Love to Boss your Furry Family Member, Start Praying to God every Day Morning and During the Day and Evening ,ask for help and Heavenly Guidance and Advice from God ,God Loves you very much, remember that ,in the Paradise he will heal everyone from their diseases, thats a promise from God , the chance to live Forever under perfect circumstances, believe Liv that can help you on the highest level.
When are you moving to Queensland, Show that you know what Family Love is and call your Sister and ask how the Trip was ,and ask for how your mother is , give some Love from your Heart ,Love Heals People when they are receiving it the right way ,maybe your mother is battling her own life problems, You are a Philosopher and you have great Life experiences also ,thats one of your Gifts ,you have many Gifts, I am wishing you luck on your Journey and a Great Week that will come, Boss is a Lovely Family Member,you have showed Boss so much Love , Give Boss a Big Hug , Greetings to you from Helsingborg Sweden from Abel Zorin
You where Brave and Courageus, best thing you did talk to your Psychologist, You have worked hard home , you went through many emotions these 2 Weeks , In some Days you will feel better , Much Love to you from Abel Zorin
Thank you so much!! You have no idea how much this means to me. I second guess myself a lot. Which is strange in a sense because I truly believe this is what I'm meant to do. Above and beyond anything, sharing is what I am here to do ♡
Believe in yourself, the world needs your light." Leave a positive legacy, your mark on the world." The best way to predict the future is to create it.tesalud alexis mena💘
MECHANICS STORE CRAP THAT LEAKS OILS. that is why they work in garages and after they are done, the site gets condemned for 50 years.. you must have a family member who is a real estate agent that can find you a good short term rental tenant
Hi Liv ,you have been active allot lately,meeting your Mum and Sister , you have had so many new emotions and thoughts that can be overwhelming, remember that , you have been Brave and you have showed allot Courage ,and it have paid of ,you have now a new beginning whit your Family, seeing how they are having and feeling , You move around much more active physicaly , you eat Healthy ,you look much better , you glow more . Make an appointment whit your Psychologist, you have much to talk whit her , much emotions and feelings to process and go through. You have come far in your development , on so many levels , you are much happier, and you can deal whit tough hard feelings much better ,have hard feelings but still be active and have your plan for the Day , Great Work Liv , You will be in my Prayers that you have great time whit your Family, You dont have to agree of every little bitt ,still you can have a good relation whit your Mother and Sister . Tell them how you feel , how you are working and thinking so they get to know you better . Show much Love to yourself,you have accomplished so much in your Life, Much Love to you and to Boss , Greetings from Abel Zorin
Sorry but I do not believe in a heavenly father who either does or does not forgive people. Heaven and Hell are on earth. Humans need to learn to forgive and love. This world can be a better place but people need to care in this lifetime not hold out for something the humans created to control others
I am so Happy for you,that you have great relationship whit your Mom , you bond whit your Mom,getting to know her better Much Love to you and your Family
