Transform your life, relationships, and workplace with spot-on truths for your type. Your host, Tyler Zach, is an author, Enneagram coach, and the co-founding pastor of One Hope Church in Omaha, Nebraska. He started an Instagram account called Gospel For Enneagram (@gospelforenneagram) which has grown to 45K followers. Learn more about his 40-Day Enneagram Devotionals and training opportunities at www.tylerzach.com or www.gospelforenneagram.com.
I think the toughest part of relationships is that even when I feel I am being open and romantic, it doesn’t always read that way to the other person in the relationship. I’m engaging in conversations and sharing myself in a way that I don’t do with others but dependent on my potential partner’s type or relationship experience, they might not understand how much of myself I am giving through those engagements and experiences.
4w5 almost everything resonates just the bit about envy maybe it’s my Aquarius sun but I’m comfortable with being an outsider and embrace my uniqueness
I drive my friends crazy asking if they are mad at me. I have done this my entire life. What you said about the look in the morning and then I’m still replaying g it and worrying about.
9 here, dating a wonderfully sweet and devoted 5. I also recharge with my alone time, so we have been able to give each other the space we need to thrive, while still deeply enjoying and treasuring our time together. We're both big time into wilderness backpacking, and I love that we can nerd out over that together and enjoy deep quality time on the trail together. Thank you for these tips! I think my takeaway is to come up with more interesting questions for him than just "how was your day?"
I am still undecided but for Naranjo to say that it came from automatic writing just as a flippant quip when feeling tired I still questionable, is it not? Is that what trustworthy people do - just lie when they've had enough?
Sobbing 😭 just discovered I’m a 4. Thought I was a 1 for years. Because of my deep passion for mission work and bringing goodness and healing to the world. And I think being a ‘missionary’ became my identity. So I never questioned it. I thought it was me. But, being a 1 felt tight and restrictive to my soul. Like I was constantly trying to punch myself into a box of staunchness and self denial. And I pushed myself so hard and beat myself up like a martyr. I nearly killed myself with that mindset. BECAUSE now I realize it’s not me! Brooo, I’m messy and deep and moody and cry so much. 😂 my house is zebra print and black. I have to have deep talks for hours a week or I feel like I might die 😂 I write constantlyyyy. My notes on my phone is PACKED with little ‘mini sermons’ about life and meaning. How I see the world. What moves my soul that I feel like I’ll explode if I dont share it. I cry over the easiest things. Flower in the sunshine? Crying. lol. Song? Im crying. My husband is always laughing at my crying 😂 I’m SO SENSITIVE. And I think viewing myself as a 1, brought depression I’d never experienced. It didn’t fit. I felt so flawed and misunderstood, like I couldn’t even be a good 1 😂 I thought I was failing at being a 1. I was so full of my flesh. Too weak because of my soft heart. I needed to be tougher. Harder. More focused. Driven like a soldier. And then I was told by a coach that maybe I was a 4. I was like ‘naw, I’m definitely a 1’. HAHAHA I read the 4 profile and I about died. I wasnt in a place before to let myself be open to the idea of 4s. I envied 4s, because of their freeness, go figure 😂 and I said I thought they were the most beautiful to me. I was SO DRAWN to 4s. but I stuck to my identity of being a ‘warrior for justice 1’. Now that I’m learning about 4s, I feel like a thousand pound weight is being lifted off of me. Like I’m coming out of a costume. Meeting myself truly for the first time ever. IT ALL MAKES SO MUCH SENSE NOW. I can see myself. Even during all the years I thought I was a 1. I see WHY I thought that. Being a missionary, I felt I was at my best as a person. Which 4s go to 1 in health. And I see why it was so hard for me. And why I felt so trapped. Now I’m learning how to accept myself in all that is my true gifts. Depth. Connection. Beauty. Movement of soul. I can feel and not feel bad about it! Like I’m ’out of control’ 😂 I’m a human who God created to feel deeply. And IM SO EXCITED about it 🙌🏼 thank You Jesus! (As I write a small book as my comment 😂😂 not a 4 at alllllll 😂). Thanks for the video!
I have discovered that when I am in the cycle of pushing and pulling, I am trying to cope with the tremendous amount of shame I am currently experiencing. The example of opening presents during Christmas but not feeling like you belong gave me chills. I have felt that way too many times! I'm an Episcopal priest and my sermons tend to be poetic and metaphorical! Growing up all I wanted was to share with what had just discovered. Envy is not always a bad thing. And it's often based in truth. I've learned that when I am experiencing envy it is connected to intuition. Favortism, elitism, and all the other -isms are all real things. But it doesn't have to have the last word. Fours often feel misunderstood because of all the trips they have taken alone. Just like a type one may feel that they have to do something themselves in order for it to be right, fours may feel they alone are forced to take the trips the rest of humanity avoids. Sometimes being invited to the surface is what I need. When I remind myself that this too is being human, I find that the melancholy begins to evaporate and that I may "fit in" more than I realize. Love your insight!
I have discovered that when I am in the cycle of pushing and pulling, I am trying to cope with the tremendous amount of shame I am currently experiencing. The example of opening presents during Christmas but not feeling like you belong gave me chills. I have felt that way too many times! I'm an Episcopal priest and my sermons tend to be poetic and metaphorical! Growing up all I wanted was to share with what had just discovered. Envy is not always a bad thing. And it's often based in truth. I've learned that when I am experiencing envy it is connected to intuition. Favortism, elitism, and all the other -isms are all real things. But it doesn't have to have the last word. Fours often feel misunderstood because of all the trips they have taken alone. Just like a type one may feel that they have to do something themselves in order for it to be right, fours may feel they alone are forced to take the trips the rest of humanity avoids. Sometimes being invited to the surface is what I need. When I remind myself that this too is being human, I find that the melancholy begins to evaporate and that I may "fit in" more than I realize. Love your insight!
As a potential perceptive 5 (though still not sure - could be a 4 or 9), your caption at around 2 min reads Vice=Generosity rather than Virtue=Generosity 🤓 I feel like this might be a test, lol
They best advice you gave; which I confirm, is that you need to stand your ground with 8s. If you get offended, close up or can't argue your point and become emotional, they won't respect you even if they love you. And you need them to respect you or the relationship will be much worse than it could be. Don't be hysterical. Stay firm.
8s speak loudly, strongly and love to argue from time to time to blow off steam. They don't care if there are people around. And they are going to feel attacked easily. They will feel attacked, for example, if you try to mother them in a way they feel is a bit forceful. They don't care about your 'good-intentions'. Either you can deal with that or you won't be able to have a relationship with them. And they have all the other qualities a great human needs to have. Fantastic video!!
I'm a 6. After being in a partnership with someone who I think was a 7 + a narcissist (and having been raised by narcissists), my being in a new relationship with a type 1 is amazing and a huge relief! Love this video!
I emailed the people who made the original video with Naranjo and they said the main interviewer, E. J. Gold, was friends with Naranjo "for years and years." Does that affect whether you think Naranjo was being honest with Hudson?
That is helpful information and confirms, in my mind, that Naranjo did not get it from automatic writing. If they were friends for year and years, surely the topic of automatic writing would have come up long before this interview. But it shocked the interviewers ("his friends") when he made that off-the-cuff claim in the interview. Additionally, Enneagram experts Beatrice Chestnut and Katherine Fauvre, who studied under Naranjo, also told me that they had never heard Claudio make the claim that he got it from automatic writing before this interview.
My husband has called me antichrist, jezebel, & told me that if I ever leave him, I am turning my back on God and that I don't really love Him. He said that he isn't sure if I am really saved, amongst many other horrible statements. Would you consider that spiritual abuse or grounds for divorce? When I ask him to please speak to me kindly, he says that I am trying to control him & be the spiritual leader, even though he is always "right." When I try to voice my opinions he says Paul said that women are supposed to be quiet. I don't feel loved or cherished by my husband.
God is not the author or confusion. This is a bunch of nonsense and confusion. Stick to the bible and don’t add to it. The demon told on himself out of pride. Do not be deceived. Not only is it demonic, but it’s leading people astray. Not only that, but you underestimated a demonic spirit power to deceive just because of this “New day in ages”. The Bible talks about how nothing is new under the sun, and these demonic spirits have been here since the beginning of time they are not stupid. They know how to deceive humans. This video badly covers up the deception as well. It is clear to see that all of this, derived from a spiritual point of view. That’s literally what your cult uses the anagram for. Spiritual points of reference To deceive people. Y’all should be ashamed of yourself repent and turn to God before it’s too late. The Bible speaks about being wise in your own eyes and a great deceptions coming our way getting worse and worser in these end times. Please ask Jesus to take the scales off of your eyes so that you may see the truth and deliver you from the demon spirits that’s you let in.
I tested as a 4, had my husband listen to 4 videos and it’s very spot on. We are confused about the envy. I’m not envious of others, to be honest I don’t want what they have. If envy applied to me it would be about fitting in. It’s not that I want what another has; it’s a sadness/melancholy that society is built a certain way that to be received you have to fit in; and I prefer not fitting into the world I see around me-superficial and external. I’d definitely say I can get resentful I was placed here in the 1st place- lol! I am 47 and have spent 15 years on a very intense internal spiritual and emotional healing adventure. I think I was more envious when I was younger. So I guess I’m kind of confused with that piece. If anyone has any input… Thanks for video!! 😊
Thank you for the response. I think envy needs a little nuancing and can't be adequately explained in a short video. Envy for sure will manifest differently in different levels of health. Also, it will manifest differently among the subtypes. Perhaps you can say that envy is an inner-discontentment that is aroused by the fact that so many other people seem content. When a Four looks at others, they may automatically assume that others have a certain quality (or relationship in their life) that makes them more whole/perfect/fulfilled. A Four feels like they are the only ones who have a deficiency and/or missing piece. But others seem to have what they lack. This puts the Four into a constant state of longing. But it doesn't mean that they want to be like the "cool kids" or in the trendy circles. They actually want to be different than the majority and like being a little hard-to-get. Does that make sense?
@@gospelforenneagram Thank you for the information. I do have inner discontent, I am very connected to another place, spiritually; and if I were to describe it, it’s really different then how the reality I’m surrounded by is. I had an NDE, I have had a couple large traumas. I have a piece with me that a lot of others don’t seem to have, or they don’t readily express. I don’t feel I’m missing a piece, I feel I have a piece from a different puzzle 🧩 lol Thanks!
The way a 3 operates can be perceived a little harshly or misinterpreted by others but of course, I’M A TYPE 3 so I care about how I’m being perceived in general lol. But when we’re more integrated into type 6 there becomes a simple wish or small tweak of terminology for deeper understanding, rather than this ultimate desire to really convince & hammer the truth home to others in a ‘desperate to be understood & approved of’ way. So I really appreciated how simple & straight forward this video is, especially when exploring the very tender, loving, & loyal side to a 3. It points to this idea of “I’m not this robotic work horse obsessed with goals that puts on masks because I’m vain & want everyone to think I’m great”. Rather, “I’ve taken a lot of time necessary to love myself outside of my goals, & can now show up authentically for the ones I love & also see inherent value in, regardless of what THEY achieve alongside me”. Helping someone level up isn’t always because they’re incompetent, it’s sometimes because we see them clearly & offer suggestions to make them happy in a deeper way- but that should be only if THEY are receptive & agreeable to exploring those same ideas. Great video.
That's good. I'm a Self-Pres 3 and I think that this subtype is actually the most robotic because of our workaholism. Sexual (1:1) 3s for example are a little more available in my opinion. Do you know which subtype you are?
"reactive" seems to be a more accurate descriptor than compliant as 1s, 2s, 6s are not necessarily complying to situations/the world around them to avoid conflict.
this feels very accurate to me. it takes me a long time to think things through and understand my own feelings and desires about things. because harmony and peace are so important to me, i like to do things for people when they come to me for help or even sometimes when they are complaining openly about something in their life. im very indecisive and it takes me a long time to realize what i want and if im willing to make myself uncomfortable to get what i want.
I'd start by asking them what they really want (as opposed to what others want them to be). Ask them, "if you didn't care about approval, what would you most want?" You could also ask them about when they feel the most shame or get embarrassed. That can draw out some of their inner-emotions.
