Apologies for being late to the party. Just on the aspect of everything being relational and that relational skills are transferable between different relational spheres (self, environment etc) consider looking into the ideas of sociologist Harmut Rosa and his tome "Resonance: A sociology of our relationship to the world." This modern phenomena around male-female relationships is definitely a microcosm of how we have settled on relating to everything. Been a while since I listened to your chats, guess I'm not getting nudged by the algorithm any more.
Appreciate the good conversation, some interesting ideas. I think it's important to step back to be able to differentiate between the underlying forces that can drive us. I resonated with Quasim's comment somewhere recently that stressed the importance of having a relationship with something deeper to enable us to relate better with the outside world/others. In my experience control and coercion don't deliver what they promise.
@@TDog0412 Power is not an institution, and not a structure; neither is it a certain strength we are endowed with; it is the name that one attributes to a complex strategical situation in a particular society.
Interesting (and weighty) topic that men should spend more time considering. Lots of valid points and perspectives, but I think I'm missing/misunderstanding the "big takeaway". It seems as if you're suggesting that "love" and "power" (in romantic relationships) are mutually exclusive dynamics. I agree with the proposition that power is no substitute for love, but love without power (excepting the pages of romantic literature) is an unrealistic notion, and will likely result in some form of relationship chaos. It's generally accepted that power can act as an aphrodisiac on many/most women. And in moments of candor, many women will express a desire for "a man that will take control". In my mind, it's a question of the type of power being exerted. Is it malicious/malignant power? Or, is it benign/benevolent power?
Love expresses itself through elevation and expansion. Power uses control to achieve its ends through subjugation and demutualizing strategies. There is no crossover. It’s important not to confuse strength with power, as they are wholly different things, and generally the more strength you have the less interesting power is. I would recommend contemplating this as it expresses itself both internally and externally, and at all scales. This can be a terror involving exercise, btw. If it scares the crap out of you, you are doing it right. You might discover you have never experienced or expressed love, but it is possible and if you choose to create it, there will be more of it in the world you live in. This has become a pretty major drive in my life, and it’s been successful. I recommend a similar strategy.
Spetsnaz mentioned in one of his videos that men have abandoned men. Not necessarily blaming men for everything but explaining how a lot of men are not around to help men get through tough times. When you grow up in a society that doesn't speak your language, censors you from speaking, and raises you to look at life through the eyes of women it becomes apparent why guys gravitate to certain channels and communities. He also mentioned much like Khaoru, we go through life trying to attain happiness without pain. Most of time in our society, the advice you're given is to take the most extreme route to find happiness and ignore whatever pain or suffering that comes with it. This isn't me saying men should avoid taking personal responsibility of their life.
@@akshayde At the time of my reply to you, this video has been posted for about 4 days, and has been viewed 259 times. I popped over to the "Fresh And Fit" channel and found a video that was posted at about the same time, and it has 237,000 views. I stand by my OP.
well… in my experience, one may express self as concisely as ever can, coherent in terminology and notions etc. to best knowing - that still doesn‘t necessarily imply another to ‚get it’ - due to incompatibility in language, incomensurability in larger framing, diverse contexturality in horizons of meaning, that are refered to. misunderstanding is to be considered default, not exception. and of course, then refuge is being taken to negative retro-projections, s.i.g.n. excretions (see KS) etc. I do see HuMANs point, and I‘d be complicit in it - but such may only lead anywhere if conversants both+ are determined analogously, and no subliminal antipathy (who knows) gets to torpedoing this.
I appreciate hearing these conversations. I'm 10 years divorced and 2 relationships later, I'm inclined to stay single. I've been through the ragest and despairs and I'm reaching the "let go" that yall talk about. I'm not currently interested in dating, especially with the current sociopolitical risks and accusations. Still, these conversations have made me more introspective and hopefully less self-centered. I'm a hermit. I just found your channel today by was of Spetsnaz, by was of Stardusk a few months back, by way of Hammerhand, by way of Undead Chronic, by way of Terrance Popp, by way of more conventional stuff and or Kevin Samuels back a few years ago. A wonderful rabbit hole. I look forward to more of yall's videos. Cheers.
Quality conversation, im at this inflection point in my life at the moment where I need to find out what I Really want out of the rest of my life, and the consequences any decision I make will have.
Insightful thoughts as always. In my opinion everything in the world has risks, but we live with them either way. You can't drive a car risk free, but you mitigate them with safety precautions. In the same way knowing yourself and your boundaries can be your seatbelt, and not letting anyone threaten your sacred goals your airbag. Still, theres more than enough room to get to know others and perhaps eventually meet someone whos presence in your life makes you feel at ease, even happy.
One theme I'm getting from this is: when people find something they like, they lock onto it and stay there. Doesn't matter if the thing is no longer healthy for them or serving them, they're committed because it worked back then. Introspection, as painful as it can be sometimes, is necessary to figure out what's not working and change it. To quote a very tired (yet still valid in my opinion) expression: "Change your attitude or change your latitude."
You should boost Spetsnaz so the volume is comparable to yours. I had to really focus to pick up on what he was saying. 20:45 is very true. They want you emotional, they want you making bad decisions. Not just in marketing, but in your personal views, and the ongoing narrative in your mind created based off the world you perceive around you. As to change, I like to think about the paradox of change: "It is a fact of life that people change. It is also a fact of life that the more people change, the more they stay the same."
Boffin, that girl provides more context in the comment section. I've found her post on Reddit, it sounds like he always treated her this way. The girl most likely struggled(ing) with a lack of self-esteem, otherwise, she wouldn't have been in that relationship for so long and allowed him to disrespect her.
It's actually mind-boggling how you jumped in to defend the guy that you don't know, sure we don't know his side of the story, however, he stays at her place, he eats the food that she cooked and he sleeps in her bed and tells her that he needs a girl who wipes her as*. That guy is a plain loser, if what you said is true he would ended the relationship and wouldn't be crashing at her place.
She picked a disrespectful and inconsiderate guy because she grew up in an abusive environment. It's not about the bowl it's about the lack of respect, he did not love her to begin with. She dodged the bullet, good for her.
The bowl enology is spot on. It had nothing to do with bowl. It was about a power struggle. I’ve had them all from ex’s. The way i loaded the dishwasher, the fact i vacuumed, the fact i cooked her dinner….so on. It never ended
Such a good conversation! As a 32-year-old guy, I surely learned from this. It's a shame that most of the older men where I come from don't talk to younger men in an open hearted fashion like this, even when they have something to teach. Most of what I hear is the shaming argument of "back in my day" over and over again. Thank you, huMAN and the other guys for making this.
The issue of transgenderism is hijacked by politicians right and left, it's just used for political games and propaganda. Transgender folks make up a tiny minority, so the group isn't big enough to compete in the Olympics in its own category because they wouldn't have anyone to compete against, so it's a tricky situation. I think, eventually, transgender folks will compete in their own category, they just need a bigger pool of athletes.
Women do talk to each other about failures, however, more often than not it happens in private. I do talk about my mistakes and what I have done wrong to my daughter. As a person who didn't come from a rich household, I can never relate to women from rich households, they seem fake and superficial. Nevertheless, a lot of things that I was learning from older women (non-rich women) turned out to be false, but now that I think about it they spoke from their place of limited knowledge, so I don't hold a grudge against them, because all they did is try to survive and they didn't know any better. If you grew up like a weed in the field, unfortunately, most likely you will end up learning from the wrong people and from your mistakes because generally, those who could give constructive advice aren't there for you and no one cares about someone else's kid. Therefore, you surround yourself with folks that have lots of problems in their lives and a lack of knowledge.
8:43 The exception of women that try this are crucified by other women for doing so. A RU-vidr called IAmCourtneyMichelle I've seen is one such exception that openly uses the mistakes she made (now a single mother) to try advise young women not to repeat them. The girl power lot lose their minds when she does this, but she's defiant. Others just give up in the end.
