Become the most authentic, fearless and unstoppable version of you... and get everything you want in life and dating.
We are CATCH, the dating company that helps you build the unshakeable confidence you need, to get everything you have ever dreamed. We provide you with the coaching, advice and tools to make that happen.
If you have any questions about our content or coaching, DM us on Instagram at instagram.com/catchdatingofficial/ or go to our website at www.catchdatingofficial.com
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@@catchdatingofficial Statistically they say folks fear public speaking, as they might say something wrong & get embarrassed by someone pointing out their faults or exposing their weaknesses/shortcomings etc. Overcoming this obviously takes time as rome wasn't built in a day. Hope that makes sense to you?
@@jarodorla6949 yeh that makes sense and is useful context, thank you. For me personally, I did public speaking in my corporate work before starting this channel which helped - practice makes perfect! I also had training from actors who helped with posture, pronunciation, speaking volume etc. Then moved to videos for this channel. The mindsets I would recommend to someone who wants to build their confidence in public speaking and helped me were: A) See it as a skill that you are learning and developing. Often fear comes from a desire to be perfect and not wanting to make a mistake, so shifting our internal dialogue from "I have to get this right" and "I don't want to be embarrassed" to "I'll practice and learn to do the best job I can" and "I'll do my best and learn from the experience" helps overcome that fear, and be open to feedback. B) Think about your WHY for the speaking. What is it in service of, what is the impact f your work? Who are you helping? This helps shift attention to your purpose. Fear feels smaller and easier to overcome when we remember it is to help others. C) Build self-belief through affirmations (telling yourself "I am good at public speaking," "I am always learning," "it is a skill I am developing") Then, as I mentioned above, practice does make perfect. Often trying something new is scarier than doing it, and once you start, the repetition starts to normalise the experience and builds confidence. We would recommend preparing a short 3-5minute talk to work on and film yourself delivering it. Watch it a few ways and make notes of what went well, and what to improve. 1) with visual and no sound, to assess your body language. Is your body language open and engaging? Do you use hand gestures to illustrate your points? 2) listen to your voice, no visual. How much variation is there? How confident do you sound? Are there strategic pauses when you want to make points (so the audience have time to digest the info)? and 3) watch the video as filmed. How do you come across? Finally, sometimes we hold fear/nervousness in the body, so if the above don't do the trick, try physically "shaking it off", power poses (stand tall, hands on hips, puff your chest out), deep breathing, and grounding your feet flat on the ground (imagining tree roots going into the ground beneath you). These techniques tell our body we are safe by regulating our nervous system. Hope that helps? We have detailed videos on normalising experiences and building your beliefs. If of interest I can share the links in a comment. Sam @CATCH.
You accidentality invented morality. Treat others, you want to be treated.... :) Morality set aside, you basically saying you should treat online dating as a job seeking process. You are applying for a relationship, so make sure your resume is positive, clear, true, and something to talk about. You are factually wrong about the 80-20% rule. It is not only one study of tinder, but several. 80% of women find 80% of men "bellow average" based on informations that can appear on an online dating site. But you are in spirit right. If a woman follows your advice, then for them this is not relevant. Your advise is to check out the person for weeks through outside information sources, video call and talking. But the vast majority of women treat online dating as an ego boost, or treat themselves as the table, men can put their offerings upon, in order to be in their presence. On top of that they think this table gets bigger and bigger, if they achieve things they themselves are looking in a men. I do not think, that some technical advice and moral lecture can change someone's worldview. It is as empty as r/femaledatingstrategy . In a much broader sense you cannot escape morality. If you do not shame, speak up, and vote against negligent or outright immoral behaviour of your "sisterhood", you will suffer the consequences of prejudice. If you do not speak up against women with feminist catchphrases like "every woman is a 10", "believe women", "i am independent i do not need men", "better together with a bear, than a man", "in a relationship, I can do whatever I want", "I divorced, because I was bored" ... Men will think, you are either aligned with these, or you will fall back on them, if it is suitable for you. This prejudice is hard to dispel on an individual level. The remaining minority of women, who want a meaningful connection in their lifes, like you do, have to prove their stand even harder, then their grandmas. Her grandma did not have to prove, that she is not an OF model, a serial cheater, liar and false accuser. She did not have children from different men to care for either. That adds to the 80-20 rule, where the upper 20% of men can pick from women with much less "hustle". So yes, maybe you are right, 2-4 meaningful date per year is the reasonable number for a women over 30. If she is seriously looking, putting work in it, and does not align with the modern feminist mindset. I think, she will most likely end up like the others as a lonely catlady, but she will at least have a couple of friends she can share her individual moral supremacy.
It's important to remember too that the app essentially is a business and as a business its purpose is to maximize profits for its owner/shareholders,not to actually get anyone a date...
@@catchdatingofficial Thank you. I found the part of, focusing on your happiness and enjoying your being in the scene rather than anything outer of that, like how you fit in the place or how you get perceived from external individuals. Ir really doesn’t matter if I’m comfortable in my own skin. That what should I pursue generally. Actually, I have become like-minded after a traumatic situation which forced me to slow it down and really figure out what really matters to me, rather than anything else such as other people or how I’m gonna fit in their stories. No I’m gonna make my own story with my own pace. It was helpful and lovely. All the best. Thanks !
Commanding presence Tactical Patience Observe to gain data to move more surely If anything, I think introvertedness that’s mistaken as shyness is a very real attribute of a confident person.
@@catchdatingofficial I guess the main issues that I am dealing with personally are Social Anxiety Disorder, Avoidant Personality Disorder and Depression which I believe is cause mainly by my negative thinking, limiting beliefs and social isolation. I will recommend this channel to others and hope to see it grow.
@@andreaswilcox9158 Sorry to hear that you are dealing with these things. I will have a think about some videos on these topics - particularly how to start shifting negative thinking, identifying limiting beliefs and/or making new connections. Thank you for your openness and vulnerability, Sam
The part of walking into a room without judgement really hit home. Something I've learned this year is I tend to judge almost everything around me and about myself unconsciously. By becoming aware of that I've managed to process where that judgement comes from and either learn from it or simply discard it because the judgement is not grounded in reality. This has helped me return to my true self, where my main drive is curiosity. It makes life so much more fun and interactions far easier. I used to think I was an introvert because interactions drained my social battery, now I notice these interactions barely take any energy almost like a flow-state type thing. However I'm still learning to let go of doubts after I get home from whatever situation. It really helps to remember that the memory of an experience itself is based on your subjective perception and any thoughts you have based on those memories are inside the echo chamber of your mind. Not to say that that makes the thoughts or feelings invalid, it simply puts things into perspective. I really enjoyed this video! Is there any reason why you think you've become more introverted as you have gotten older?
Love this whole comment! Our beliefs and perceptions are everything. What started you on your journey? Good question on why I've become more introverted - I have a few thoughts so I'll reflect and get back to you! Sam @ CATCH.
@@catchdatingofficial my new year's resolution was to get more alignment between my thoughts and actions. From there it was (or rather, is) a whole journey of self reflection, to determine why I had such a mental block and how I could overcome that. I really just want to make the most of my life and knew the first step was to get the mental right. Next up is taking care of the physical! Feel free to take your time, I love hearing thoughtful perspectives people have about their life. There is always something to learn from others.
@@Fryslanpr0 Hey there, hope you've had a good week. So reflecting on it, it was Covid that started me on the journey of becoming more quiet and introverted, as I had more time alone with less distractions of the day to day routine. It was from this experience that forced me out of autopilot and to try new things, and I realised how powerful it was to step back. I started receiving more from life with less effort. I think I had a belief that positive outcomes in life came from always DOING, and power came from being in control. By stepping back I could assess a situation with wisdom before deciding how to respond, and I could be in groups and say less and people would make MORE effort with me, or I could enjoy others leading the conversation rather than feeling I had to do it. I realised true power and confidence for me came from doing less, allowing life to play out and trusting it'll work in my favour, rather than feeling the need to control. And it has been more fun! Sam @ CATCH.
@@catchdatingofficial Thanks for the thoughtful response. It's been a good week, catching up with some friends and thinking of ideas for the final quarter of this year. Your story reminds me of yinyang somewhat, i.e. the good within the bad with regards to the pandemic. It's really nice to hear you have gotten more faith in life; letting whatever happens, happen. By gaining a deeper understanding of ourselves it surely emits a certain vibe. I think just like negativity and positivity can be infectious, being comfortable with yourself and/or life can be as well. Others can feel this vibe and gravitate towards it. In dutch we have a saying 'rots in de branding', which literally translates to 'rock in the surf'. However it refers to someone that is steady as a rock, whether it be emotional or intellectual stability. Life is uncertain and I think we all look for people who are that rock for us. If you can become that yourself, it can be really empowering. Lastly something else. I don't really follow dating advice related content, however I did like this video and especially your thoughtful comments here. What are some topics you plan to delve into on your channel in the future?
@@Fryslanpr0 I agree it does emit a certain vibe, and that is a great quote! I might use that as it nicely depicts the unshakeable confidence we talk about on this channel. Thank you for the compliment. We cover topics across confidence, mindset and how to apply that to all areas of life, and particularly dating. One of the reasons we went into the dating coaching space is because most dating advice we see online either 1) tells people what to do (when we are all individuals) or 2) is based around playing games or trying to manipulate the other person, which doesn't set up healthy dynamics. What we felt was missing was guidance on how to date authentically and with confidence - to help deal with the uncertainty and feelings of rejection, and find our individual ways of dating. So we like to think this channel is for people who don't resonate with most online dating advice. We've just filmed a series of videos on topics such as: how to respond to mixed signals/pulling away with confidence, how to choose a coach, a reminder that you are equal to who you are dating, how to handle rejection, amongst others. We are filming more over the next few days on setting healthy boundaries, why we think modern dating is so hard and what to do about it, and how relationships are shifting and therefore how to create the right relationship for you and your partner/s. Hope that helps? Sam @ CATCH. 😃
I would say also that sometimes we don't act in a particular way even if we would want to because we don't want to make people suffer from our actions first. So confidence is not arrogance, is also related to paying attention to the fact that our actions don't determine only our life but also others life. But confidence is all about acknowledging what we value to make those values solid in our way of act. So for instance I can fall in love with a person who for some circumstances I cannot end up with, but still I value love and authentic relationships. Btw, great video 👍🏻
Nice perspective thank you for sharing 👍Knowing our values is so helpful when we want to be confident in our decisions. And thank you - glad you enjoyed it! If there's any other questions you would like us to cover related to your comment let us know. Sam @ CATCH.
the captions when speaking? We've started using an app called "InShot" which does it automatically for you. It was very affordable, £15 for the year. Sam
I've realised what it is about your content that I enjoy. You have a different way of looking at things to most people - it's refreshing and much more positive
no woman is going to like the guy she is dating to text her every couple of hours or even every day. That isn't how women remain attracted to their lover. Not at all. Predicability and constant contact kill attraction
Hey there, thanks for your comment. Understand where this comes from as we've seen what other dating coaches advise, but this is not our experience nor a strategy we recommend, for a few reasons. Firstly, most people we speak to are looking for emotional security and consistency/appreciation/feeling chosen. If they are attracted to other behaviours and dynamics it is usually because of past trauma and subconsciously replaying past, negative patterns that feel familiar, despite not being what they want. We usually help people overcome these issues! Also, connections need trust and safety to flourish. Playing games may create mystery and make us feel like we have the upper hand in the short term, but damage trust and safety in the long term. Thirdly, feeling the need to play games is not a confident mindset because you're basically telling yourself you need to play games for someone to see you as worthy or valuable. So if someone wants to play a game, we ask them - what kind of person do you want to attract? What dynamic do you want to create? How you want to see yourself and your value? And recommend approaching dating based on the answers. We go into this more here - ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-2fMJJH-awGo.htmlfeature=shared. Sam @ CATCH.
@@catchdatingofficial it isn't a dating strategy or a game. Living your own life without "checking in" every few hours is healthy. And not hearing from your boyfriend or girlfriend all day long or for a few days is what makes seeing them again such a pleasure. Again, it is healthy.
@@lessons8708 Agree with this! If you aren't replying every few hours because you are genuinely busy, and reply when you see it, that's not a game. If someone only replies every few hours or days to create attraction, that's a different story!
