Honestly what else are we supposed to do that works for this mom? My son is 3, he eats and then wants to run around the dining area getting into trouble while I struggle to finish eating. I'm not punishing him by telling him to go play in his room so I can finish, am I just supposed to quit and join him in his room because he took a few bites? I know he can't sit still while everyone eats. That's not realistic. He can play until I'm done.
This is why people are so sensitive now if I was still with my family or parents, my dad would’ve taken the toy away from me smacked me the same way I smacked that kid with the toy and then asked me if it hurt.
"I can't let you keep hitting them with this toy." *does nothing to stop kid from hitting others with a toy* Sounds like letting them hit the other kid to me.
Not true bud and you know it. Most times it happens out of mom’s sight where she had no chance to stop it. God forbid you give a child a chance to regulate and check their own behavior before getting the belt… I pray for your kids. 😬
This was amazing! I'm working my way through the whole catalogue of these podcasts, and they're all great. In general I prefer the ones that just Jess and Scott. But this one was especially helpful for me. Thank you!
So your kid is mad about something you don’t know what and then you had a conversation about it with him… meaning you should know by the time you tell this story why he was mad… am I missing something or is this pure 100% made up crap like 99% of RU-vid content? 😂
Jess I love you! I'm an imh clinician and I've followed you since both our first kids were little. I don't agree with this. Most of the time anger is just anger and because we live in an anger phobic culture where anger is seen negatively, people cannot appropriately understand or express their anger. I think calling anger sadness is part of the problem.
Time outs were nonsense. If i was mad my mom or dad would say "I'll give you something to be mad about" and give me some chores to do. If any of my siblings were crying they would say "I'll give you something to cry about". A few a$$whoopins in our early years made sure that we new what that meant. Our rooms were our zones for us to go and think about things. We gave ourselves our own "timeouts". These parents today don't have a clue. That's why so many of today's kids are codependent, weak minded, self serving brats. No overly liberally educated "professional" PSCHOlogist will tell me differently. Notice we never see a male sitting down discussing this subject with women like this. Where's the father's perspective? I'm guessing that this broad is a single mother who alienated her husband after they had a child and separated if they were ever married in the first place
My mom and dad would give me ten minutes in my room and then they would come in and talk about it, that seems like a good balance to me. They didn't leave me alone and didn't talk about it, they gave me time, then explained things to me and everything would work out.
@@Solis_Aurea I disagree. Timeouts and separation when misbehaving is absolutely appropriate. This gentle parenting nonsense that says that every bit of discipline must be some form of positive reinforcement is stupid. If you're unpleasant, then having an unpleasant consequence is good for you. Also, kids are different. What works for one kid doesn't work for all of them.
Saying something in my house like, "hey, it hurt me when you did 'X'" always turned into a screaming match. Talking about emotions wasnt allowed ever. Just yelling was, then id get punished or we make up, then never talk about it again. It was constant stress. Any talk about sadness or emotions was seen as a personal attack to my parents. When i went to therapy as a 16 year old, i didnt actually know what i felt. They had to give me a chart of feelings. But to this day i struggle with identifying how i feel about something.
there's a nurse that was talking about how she made a housecall to a little girl whose health was deteriorating and she was going toward hospice care and she was too sick to play with her toys. She came home and was so grateful that her kids left a mess because it meant they were alive and healthy. Her saying that is gonna be stuck in my head forever.
Thank you SO much for problematizing scripts!! I have literally never heard of or seen a parenting account dive into them like this before. Scripts can absolutely serve an important function, but they can feel so inauthentic and robotic to me at times -- my daughter feels this too. And then when they don't "work," I feel even more lost.
thats so true. i remember when i was a child, my father was gone for 2-4 weeks at a time working. my mother was an alcoholic and i often called him to let him know that i had had a bad night with her. he always said that we would fix things but he never did what wouldve helped me the most which was to be home more often.
Mom sees little bippy maybe an hour in the morning...she wants him to sleep while she gets ready to work...but let's say 2 hours a.m. She picks him up at 5:30 or 6. He plays or watches tv in the other room while dinner is cooking. Eating together, then bath and bedtime at let's say 9. That's between 5 and 6 hours he is raised by his folks, vs the 8 to 10 hours Billy is spending at daycare, just him and the teachers and 10 to 20 other small children all needing the same amount of attention. Then of course there's weekends. Hopefully Bippy spends an appreciable time with parents , not just in front of the screen because the parents have so much else to get done. I think you're Justifying.
Should you have to ask the other adult and co parent who lives in your house and made those kids with you for help cleaning up? God, I’m so glad I stayed single and child free.
My mother said "you have to turn the switch on your children, on". Teach them to clean up the mess they make. Make a list of reoccuring tasks they have to do each week. And reward and praise them if they did them. It Will help them to become responsable teens and adults.
This episode offered the best advice I've heard in a while. It perfectly aligned with the lessons my husband and I discussed before, and it was a much-needed reminder to keep applying those principles in our daily lives. Thank you for breaking it down into examples. I wouldn’t call it messy by any means, it was real life. Makes it easy for people to apply it to their own life. You guys are great!!!
