At 41, I decided to get a two-wheeler death machine to scratch the midlife crises itch, and promptly dropped it, dented it and broke it on day-1 without ever riding it.
This channel is my journey of going from the death machine to the freedom-mobile. I make mistakes so you don't have to. Follow along!
I tried riding a motorcycle at the Harley Davidson riding academy yesterday, for the first time ever. It was one of the worst experiences I’ve ever had, and I’ve been dead twice, sexually assaulted, and had to take sick leave for mental health issues.
I attached a blanket roll to my Dyna last week and seemed to get this same result as you. Searched RU-vid to see if anyone else was doing this. Thanks for this video confirming my pondering. Ride safe!
I have a 2016 Ultra Limited with a stock windshield. I have 2 helmets that i wear. First one is a low profile half helmet. I get some buffeting on the very top of my helmet with that one. Second, i have a modular full face by Bilt (cheap helmet, so might be some of my problem) and i notice buffeting pretty much everywhere above the visor. I also get a ton of wind noise, way more than with the half helmet. Ive ridden a couple very short rides without and I barely feel anything except some wind right on the very top of my hair. I know its apples to oranges because i have a completely different bike with a fairing. I just ordered a recurve shield from Long Ride Shields and Im hoping it will relieve a ton of this problem.
My best friend calls me all the time to vent about his emotions and problems and I couldn’t be prouder of him for doing it. Yet I still can’t do it for myself. But practicing gratuity has helped me a lot.
Nicely said. I also started motorcycling 15 years ago, in my early 40s, and it has been very therapeutic in respect to my mental health. I am a chronic over-thinker and have a role that exposes to a fair bit of vicarious trauma, and going for a ride helps. I have found long country rides more therapeutic than track days and commuting, but even those types of riding help too. I suspect the focus that comes from managing risk is part of the reason - I used to fly light aircraft and had the same response - but agree the sense that you are more part of the environment you pass through gives you a connection.
I'm a 66 year old rider. You are spot on! Men are taught to 'suck it up," but the 'suck it up' mentality is killing us! I spent the last 3 years suicidal when as an Emergency Medical Responder. The leading cause of death in law enforcement is suicide, the leading cause of death in EMS is suicide, the leading cause of death for firefighters is heart attack, follwed by suicide. Three years ago next Sunday, (4/28/21) I was one of 4 EMS professionals tasked with the recovery of the body of a cute little 5-year-old boy who fell 70’ to his death. I not only helped recover his body, I assisted the medical examiner with his examination (looking for bruising, looking in his mouth for foreign objects, in his pants (he was so cute he could have been a girl, he was ½ Native American with long curly black hair), etc, zipping the little guy in a body bag and loading his body in the coroner’s van. The series of events and the conditions surrounding it put me in a death spiral. The following is an excerpt from an email I sent my boss after leaving work quite hastily one day. I had no idea how dark my life was turning and was about to turn even darker. “The weight of depression has been absolutely crushing. I’ve endured this for a long time but in recent years it has become noticeably worse. Recently, even worse yet. On a good day, it is tiring, and many days it is numbing, and on too many days, it eliminates my will to live. I hide it well, most folks are amazed at my energy and boundless enthusiasm. Until recently I would always counter the inclination toward suicide with the logical reasons not to; the people it would hurt, the stigma of losing a dad, husband, son, brother, grandfather to suicide is not something I would drop on them. But then I figured if it happened on my bike they'd say- “at least he died doing what he loves.” However, I can’t do that to the first responders who would have to mop me up. (God knows tragedy weighs on first responders.) I wear the best riding gear made, so I won’t be a mess, I reasoned; but what if it saves me, I’m disabled, and someone has to feed me and wipe my butt… So logic has always won over depression. I’m old school, I suck it up. But sucking it up is killing me both literally and figuratively -slowly but surely.” Though I’ve worked many ugly scenes, and faced terrible abuse growing up, (that’s a whole ‘nother story) the dead child was the proverbial ‘straw that broke the camel’s back.’ I finally decided to seek help when logically I had no reason to commit suicide, but was dangerously close; plans were made, my office was emptied of personal items, etc. No one had a clue. My plans were meticulously laid to make it look accidental. Heck, I impressed myself at how hard it would have been to recognize suicide. When someone has heart disease, cancer, diabetes, etc. we don’t make fun of them. With mental health however, we call people, schitzo, crazy, pyscho, looney, nuts, spastic, freak, screw loose, a few sandwiches short of a picnic basket, not playing with a full deck, etc. We send them to the looney bin, nut ward, funny farm, etc. If they go there repeatedly they are ‘frequent fliers.’ I’m also an advocate for changing the understanding of PTSD, choosing instead to call it, Post Traumatic Stress Injury (PTSI). “69% of mental health professionals surveyed think calling it PTSI would reduce the stigma associated with the term PTSD. 53% thing it would increase hope in finding a solution for their symptoms. 55% think that using PTSI would increase the likelihood of seeking help. "We often manage "disorders," while we heal from 'injuries.'" - Dr. Shauna Springer & Dr. Eugene Lipov. I am working hard to further the conversation of men's mental health. 70 percent (68.9 actual) of suicides in the US are middle aged men. We have to change this. Thanks for doing your part! Sorry to ramble, but this topic is near and dear to my heart! In the US, you know longer have to remember a full phone number for mental health help. 988 is all you have to call.
Thank you for the review! I'm upgrading from my Speedmaster and want a bagger v-twin, but not something with a massive fairing, etc. I tested a new Springfield Dark Horse and, like you said, it sang to me, though I can't afford a new one. I'm looking for a used bike in my price range, which so far means pre-2019. I've also seen the Chief Dark Horse but have read that it's smaller, more cramped, ditto with the Road King Special; I'm 6' and that was an issue with the Speedmaster.
I also suffer from severe anxiety and depression since eight years ago. Eleven years ago I bought a Harley but every day the Harley became harder to drive for me. Then three months ago I bought a Royal Endfield and returned to actively riding a motorbike to overcome my anxiety and depression. BTW, thank you for your explanation, mental health greetings, bravo. 😃👍🙏❤🎉
It's real nice that you've addressed this issue. I can relate all too well. I'm trying to fight this monster at this time in my life. You seem like a really nice, thoughtful person.
I mean, you didn't buy the trim level that fits your needs, at the end of the day. You could have had pretty much everything you wanted by buying the right model and trim level. Complaining about it is a little wild to me. You could have painted and modified a more fitting model/trim level for less than you spent on accessories, and that's only your fault.
Excellent job explaining and illustrating this issue! I’m right there with you. I also started riding at 44. I deal with the trifecta: anxiety, depression, and ADHD. That’s why I have 5 bikes! Thanks brother
Riding to just become. My Mom in the 1950's made me walk twenty minutes on the highway, all dressed, up every week to Sunday school, All by myself at six years old. The story of Jesus and, what maybe should have been a more simple concept. That of "God Within a Human". Once you learn to play with the concept, you are on your way!! The Chinese give Lucky Money in little red envelopes, to the kids at Chinese New Years to teach them another wonderful concept. That of a feeling within, of being "Happy Go Lucky". Now as an adult, with both these concepts in hand, I am able to, and do "Try to Love" more deeply and just let it all come through. "Just diggin' it" on a nice spring cruise, with my Yamaha Vstar time machine. Really glad you shared this video!
They tell me motorcycles are dangerous, but 25 years ago an old Honda saved my life. No amount of therapy or special pills would help. But something about the wind and the noise and having to focus on the *right now* makes everything OK. Thanks for the video, may you ride safely, and may that Indian never get a scratch.
I got into it a little late too, at 35. I ride almost every day now and i love it. No matter how hard my day was, i get on my bike and sometimes take the longer route home. I recently started filming every ride because you never know what you'll see. And its just nice to share what i see and the beautiful area i live in. And it reminds me that i can still feel something. The sheer joy that comes from cruising on two wheels.
I’ve been riding since 2006, my anxiety and depression started probably 2014 It seems like nothing helps it. It’s so hard for me to focus and enjoy my ride when I’m being tore apart, I have no reason to be it might be the overthinking. The loneliness and getting older really does suck. HATE IT.
Is it wrong to spend some money on bike upgrades to cope up with anxiety? It's just that I feel so guilty spending money for my own sake and not for my family. Riding motorcycles and modifying it helps me forget about all my anxieties. When I don't ride, the void inside of me grows back in like a black hole sucks matter into it. My fiance knows nothing about what I'm dealing with. I'm a man after all, I could'nt share to anyone else my problems. ' have to deal with my own'. That's always have been my thought. I guess I'm totally wrong, I need help. I wish I could talk to someone else without judging me along.
Such a warm and wise video, thank you 🙏 I have PTSD anxiety and depression. I have a small collection of Royal Enfield motorcycles and they help me so much! Just fixing them up and going for a ride to explore new and beautiful places gives me so much joy. By the way what motorcycle are you riding? Stay well friend 😊
Fellow dad here, I also was concerned even during some of my rides if I was making the mistake of not spending enough time with family. Important to not undervalue the importance of self care. Good video!
But just asking, will it not be risky to ride a motorcycle when someone has anxiety disorder. Because I too have anxiety and I am thinking to get a new motorcycle for riding. So thinking if it’s all right to get myself a new bike and ride it despite the condition I am in?
Thanks for the info. Where did you get the covers from? Did you have any problem with them lossening up over time? Some folks suggest wetting the string and leather before installation. When the leather dries it will tightens up.
Hey, I totally can't remember where I got it from anymore. But my left one does loosen over time. I had to eventually get a different string from Michael's that was thicker to hold it better.
We in the Philippines I ride mopeds or scooter and really feels good even with a tropical weather. I enjoy riding to and from the office more than staying in the office. Just ride and ride hard.
You cover your seats if it starts raining? And when you wash it? I just installed my new Ultimate today. I bought the mid-rider and I'm rather annoyed that it has raised my riding position and is pushing me forward, contrary to their marketing. Trying to figure out if I'm going to keep it or not.
I started riding when I was 23 for fun but now in my 40s the reasons have shifted along with the style of riding and bike. Went from sport bikes to Indian scout so the reasons and type of riding might change over the years.
I agree with you most of thing you said I started riding motorbike 2 years ago and I love it Nc750x and it works for me I have had lot of friends making comments like I'm going to kill myself blah blah my birthday coming up in Feb I will be 70 year's age.best thing happen to me riding motorcycle😊
Thanks for this video. I completely agree with you. Having a bike when I was younger I never felt anxious or depressed. I was a positive and happy guy. With my first child I sold the bike and didn’t rode for over ten years. I dealt with anger, depression, anxiety and overall bad health issues. I never thought this was linked to my passion of motorcycles. Now I bought a new iron horse, all my problems are gone. In my opinion the problem is that some men, especially fathers, think about their spouse and children first. It’s kind of not deserving being happy themselves. You work hard, you try to build a life around your family but you don’t think about yourself. It is good and not shameful to be selfish sometimes, but it’s not easy to overcome, especially when your wife doesn’t understand. The key is to get lose of social pressure and free your mind with something you really like.👍
I agree the mounting hardware is a cash grab, but at least they make multiple wind screens that use the same hardware. I have the 10 inch tinted screen that really looks good and good for around town and short trips. If I'm going a longer distance, I slap on the taller screen and I'm good to go.