One of the saddest things in life is we never will know the impact on the people around us, if we did, life would be much brighter. One of the things I noticed in listening to the video is some of the things that you mention sound like sunlight deprivation. If I could make one small suggestion I think will help, is have a cup of coffee in the morning on your porch. It sounds silly, but just that little bit of sun everyday can really help the mental state. As for the trolls, look if you don’t have haters you are not doing it right. Doxxing is one thing, but people who are trolling you the first question I ask is where is their content? Where is their RU-vid or their Twitch at? Most don’t have shit. And the ones who do, how successful are they? Is their content just tearing down other people? Because that stuff is easy, it’s the candy corn of content creation. Now if Shroud is smashing you for something, ok, that’s one thing. He has the credibility to talk. 42KittyKittyLickLick though can STFU and sit down. Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one and most of them stink. I am not trying to make light or be dismissive of your legitimate feelings, because content creating is hard. It is FAR more mentally taxing on the creator than most people realize. Rather I am wanting to drive the point home that you are not the sum total of what a bunch of faceless trolls in their mother’s basement say about you because they don’t have to worry about getting punched in the mouth. Not even by you, but by the folks who follow and love you who would gladly serve up some hands. Chats can be just brutal to their streamers, that is just part of the dance, but they are also fiercely loyal and protective of them as well. Look my man. You are human. You may have lost your temper from time to time when you could have handled things better. You may have posted stuff that in hindsight wasn’t the best of ideas. You are imperfect, just like the rest of us. Acknowledge the mistakes, learn from them, and try to move on and be better. It is all we can do in the end. But don’t feel that you are a waste of space or that you shouldn’t be here. Don’t let shit people make you feel that way because it will rob other folks who do need you and love you for you. You cannot know the lives of people that you have touched, and will touch in the future. Trust me, it is not a small number.
Hey man. I was one of the guys who you were playing Deadlock with earlier. Well, the commentary of one of the guys you were playing Deadlock with earlier. Lol. I listened to this video and I have to say it took some real balls to be able to post something like this. Mental health is not easy to talk about when someone is sitting in front of you, much less just being put out into the ether. That took guts man, respect. I have been around for a very long time. I can remember Reagan running for office for Pete’s sake. While there is nothing I can say to make the load you carry lighter today. I do think you are very close to discovering the purpose behind the struggles you have faced, and continue to face. When you do, you will realize it has meaning and is not just suffering for sufferings sake. Life is a team sport. It has hit you, hit you hard, and repeatedly. And yet you are still here. You know what it feels like to be lost in depression. You have fought and continue to fight that demon. What you bring to the world, and to the generations that are coming after you is the wisdom of those trials. You have the scars to show people, younger people especially, that they are not alone and that they to can persevere. You can be a source of strength and hope to those who are also lost. You said it yourself. It is why you became a comedian, and why you like to make people laugh. Because you understand just how important that laughter is. And your life, while brutal and unfair at times, has given you a banquet of material to mine for that purpose. The older you get, the younger the rest of the world gets. Until you get to my age, talking to someone in his early 30’s about his struggles. Giving encouragement, telling him he is close to realizing the meaning behind the pain in his life. That pain he feels now will allow him to empathize and lessen the pain of scores of people later, if for no other reason, than because they will know they are not alone. That someone else GETS IT. You go from needing the sticks, to being the one who hands them out. You are stronger than you know. You got this.
i have depression and the days are different. Sometimes they’re good sometimes they’re bad, but knowing that there are others feeling the way i do, makes me feel less lonely. And I hope that you see this and it makes u feel a little less lonely. No matter what you’re going through, you’re a strong individual dude. I don’t know you or know you as a person but to talk about something so vulnerable, that’s a very strong and courageous thing to do. We’re here for you man.
I don't know you and I don't even know what to say but I hope you can weather this storm. Its cliche but things do eventually get better and you will be stronger for it. A good way to distract your mind could be going on some big self improvement path, I know working out helps a lot of people for a while slew of reasons, talking to a therapist can also be really helpful. I know these are common platitudes but thats for a reason. Also again I don't know all the details but maybe keep creating content but minimize social media use or interaction besides posting your content, I know that can breed a bad mindset especially looking at negative comments. Also off topic but I see one of your other channels is big on DBD so I'll definitely be checking that out.
Bro You Better Suck It Up And Live Your Life To The Fullest! Never take the easy way out! Yeah It's Rough Yeah Stuff isn't fair sometimes You have to live for you! Think of all the people you will hurt when you leave! When you gone ain't no spawning back in like DBD! Better Break Out Of This Thinking Fast! So What Nobody Likes You! Who cares that shouldn't depict Your Life My Boy! Life is beautiful Bro And It Is what We Make It!
we enjoy listening to you yap because we just enjoy your presence i guess, which i think if people are willing to just listen to yap about whatever. That probably means something about you thats you're pretty epic. Obviously we dont know all the stuff you do in your day to day but finding stuff that makes yourself proud, like for me it was just learning an instrument, it makes you way happier. Everyone has that thing, that tells them "this is why i want to live, for moments like these" just have to find what it is. Which is just a small step, but for me it really helped me get out of that constant feeling of dread. Maybe you need those moments to relax, but still be occupied with something
I truly think that kitties may be the most blessed things to ever exist in this universe. Hearing that Baxter is your reason for staying only adds to my monumental appreciation for their existence. An easy thing to say is that you're lucky to have Baxter. I think what holds even truer, however, is that Baxter is lucky to have someone like you willing to keep pushing forward every day in spite of how hard everything is just for his sake. It might speak to some more than others, but I think it takes more strength just to exist as a human than many people (including me) might give credit for. As you said in this video, there probably isn't realistically much I can do to help with your thoughts and feelings, but do just know the respect that I have for you for your work and your choice to keep moving ahead in spite of everything you've gone through and continue to go through.
Its nice to always just have a place for more unique or miscellaneous topics. I can't wait for the next video. Have you mentioned your comedian channel before?
As someone whose been there I have two pieces of advice: 1) Go check yourself into a mental facility. I spent a week in one. Theres no shame in it, and it will give you a break from all the things youre worried about. Do it now. If youre not sure where to go, go to your nearest hospital. Or use google to find the nearest facility. You need in patient care. Again, theres nothing to be ashamed of, and im telling you from experience once youre in their you will feel relief because you dont have to worry about anything. 2). After you get out, or whike youre in even, start setting goals and actively work towards acheiving them. These zhould range from daily, weekly, and long term. I.e. Today Im going to go for a walk. Im going to walk at least three times this week. Im going to lose ten pounds this month. Im going to lose 30 pounds this year. I used weightloss as an example but you should have more than 1. For me my longterm goals were Lose 60 pounds Publish my first novel Establish a career Then i set small goals that helped me acheive those Until you take control of your life, you will continue to feel this way
"I don't understand how people enjoy my content, cause all I do is turn on a camera and yap". This is pretty much word for word what I've said to people when I've been upset, except talking about myself in general. I don't necessarily practice what I preach but I think this is a good indicator that it's a completely deranged thought and just your brain malfunctioning. It's very easy to not understand how someone can like what you do, or you in general, when you're going through things like this, but you need to remember you aren't other people and not understanding means nothing. This is a drop in the bucket and depression doesn't really give a shit how self-aware you are, but being self-aware is LEAGUES better. If you're schizophrenic and self-aware you're not going to stop hallucinating, but knowing those hallucinations aren't real obviously helps you stay sane.
It's hard man I get it, I've been depressed for the past couple years and I've been really close to putting one through my brain, but I haven't because I look to the past and I see I've overcome hardship before, and i know it HAS to get better, and it always will. I also know I have people counting on me, and I know if I do give up, I lose the opportunity to help others. Think about this, you have your family, friends, and your entire community to be there for, you can't just give up and leave them. I'll pray for you brother, and I think you should pray as well, I credit everything I've gotten through to the Lord Jesus Christ, but if that's not your thing, I get it, but regardless, it will get better. Don't give up, never give up!
What was he expecting you to say? Like, did the dude think being fat is like having your zipper open? You just forget to lose all your excess weight at home?
Hey big man, I know it's hard, but the way to do it is to try to focus on yourself, on your future. Maybe your future is not in youtube, maybe it is, but what is important is that it is your future, and can't let your grief and pain take it away from you. An abusive relationship is tough shit to pass through, and right after that a family member, especially your father, is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, so you should make sure you focus on getting better and focusing on what you love. Don't get me wrong, a talk and some kind messages aren't gonna cut it, but if you keep it up without getting some stuff off your chest, you'll just pile up even more shit then you already have. I don't know if you have anyone to talk to, but if you don't, don't feel afraid to let it loose a little in a video. But if you do, try to value them, try to love them and don't be afraid to talk to them. Share your problems with them. From what you described of your dad, he seemed like a good man and a big part of your life, so if you get sad remembering his passing, ignore that and think of all the great memories you made with him and how he will live forever in those memories, even if he is no longer with you phisically. I hope you get better and pass through this very tough moment. I won't say I hope it will pass soon, because I know stuff like this doesn't pass fast, but with the incredible amount of time you have had to suffer for, one last stretch is nothing. And speaking of that, wow, you are an AMAZINGLY strong person. I mean, I'm 17, I've been through some tough moments but I couldn't even possibly imagine having the strength to pass what you have through such a prolonged amount of time. You have the resolve of a warrior, and I have no doubts that you are strong enough to defeat the depression that plagues your mind. Well, I hope this message atleast lighten your day a little, and maybe some of the advice I gave you was helpful, but I doubt it since you seem like a much wiser person then I am. But I do hope from the bottom of my heart that you are able to pass through this. I mean, who will treat the kitty if you're gone lol. But seriously, suicide is never a solution, it's just the only problem in life you can never truly fix.
It's very brave to make a video like this. I suffer from depression myself, as do so many of us. But we can't fight our depression if we don't acknowledge it. As for Baxter being the one to save your life literally at that moment, cats are some of the most compassionate creatures. They may seem aloof like they don't care a lot of the time, but when you need them, when you really need them, they know and they are there for you. <3
Hey buddy sending this comment to let ya know I seen this video and your previous video buddy. Look out for you kai kai. Heart or not on the previous comment I meant every word. Also please do your research because the health center in my home where I get my therap is maybe like... 27 bucks a therapeutic hour... and that's like the highest on their scale... so I'm hoping that maybe there are good options near ya. Also... please please remember... 1800. You know the number. Also I might like to get one of your rosts here soon. (If youre still doing dbd match rosts i mean) I gotta recheck your steps on how to do that though, but that's fine. Also the sh2 remake is fun so far, if you want to play more horror games and are in the right mind to play sh2(meant to be a heavy game tho...) then would love to see you play it.
Hey kaiser. Thank you for inspiring me. I look at your content and then i look at videos where you post personally about yourself and everything youre going through. And i think "ok if kaiser is strong enough to create content while going through that... i think i can create something myself and maybe be a positive influence on the community like Kaiser is." Kaiser watching you was an important part of getting my dumb videos out of my head and on a computer. Please even if its hard to believe it, even if your mind wont let you see it, knownyou are wanted and you are loved. Honest question, have you been seeking a therapist? The right therapist for you i mean?
I wanna say sorry for a comment i left on the other video that i deleted because i noticed it was too much of a trauma dump of mine instead of actually helping. You have all my sympathy, i hope you get better. I see a lot of me and my non binary sibling in you..
All the work you put into your content is impossible to miss. There's rarely a video that I'm able to watch without laughing. So thank you for the laughter and joy that you've brought.
Kaiser... Nothing i can say is something that is different from the last. But i hope... I know it will get better you just have to hang in there till it does and maybe you can finally find peace of mind and happiness without harm. I know anything i say can just be passible because im some random stranger on the Internet, but please kaiser... It might not seem like it now but there are people in this world who genuinely care for you and would be absolutely crushed if you werent here anymore. Please, hang in there man. It will get better
Friend Kaiser, I'm sorry. On your last video I posted a comment with some "spiritual" content. That was before I got the end of the video, and realized that you are an atheist. I'm so sorry, friend. I didn't mean to disrespect your beliefs. You have a right to your beliefs as much as I have a right to mine. So, instead of what I would usually say, I'll just say: Thank you, friend. I hope you feel better sometime soon. I'm glad you're still here. 💛
The sun rises, and we are here another day. It’s a treasure to have, and whilst no amount of words can themselves be the source of salvation, I hope they at least feed the flames, no matter how dim they grow. It is courageous to be as honest and raw as these videos are. And to address this particular path of thought alone is an act of will. To another day, another sunrise, again and again.
Kaiser please do make more of these videos. Sharing your feelings with depression and hearing the small but positive feedback can make the difference between one more day one more year and one more decade. When I started sharing my depression with people and they reassured me that my life was meaningful it helped me. You have a real achievement here you have people who look up to you who watch you to be better. You have a cat who's life was made through your selflessness. When I looked around me and saw all the small wins and achievements they grew into large achievements which made me realise I have things to live for and that life isn't completely without worth. I'm only 18 my depression while serious was nowhere near as long standing as yours so I don't believe I can understand your experience as if it was mine but I hope sharing how I got to overcome mine might if not fix at the very least lightens yours. We love you kaiser and the best we can do is love you when you are unable to love yourself.
"if you want disabled people that badly, make it make sense to the world." that is a valid thing to want in my opinion, its no different then saying if you want guns in your fantasy world make it make sense to the world, no?? why cant dumble dore simply shoot someone instead of using magic? their should be a reason, like material from the human world will vanish the moment they are in the wizards world. and yes you explained in detail a few reasons why someone could be disabled in a fantasy setting, and i agree with all of those. but i also understand how seeing disabled people in a world that has shown you it is easy as fuck to fully heal a person could ruin your immersion. like if character A fully heals character B but then we just ignore the fact that character C is sitting there in a wheelchair, and never heal or adress the fact that he could be healed or the reason they cant be healed, i can understand how that could be immersion breaking. it also doesnt mean i hate disabled people or dont want them in fantasy. if im playing dnd its the dungeon masters job to make sure everything makes sense in his world hes making, and if its a game/show or movie, its the job of who ever made it to make sure it makes sense. if they fail at that job its not my lack of imagination that is the problem.
what you call a badly written book got the biggest book deal ever... and is part of a series that gets dissected by academics as one of very very few fantasy pieces. this is just you being wrong. but hey, i used to think only things i liked where any good. hopefully you get to the point where you don't.
You are the only content creator i can actually relate to, i don't feel so lonely in my misery listening to you talk, i wish you the best Kaiser, I truly mean that
When I say many many people love you and like listening to all of your opinions and stories, I MEAN IT! We love you Kaiser, I personally love watching your videos about you giving your thoughts and opinions on random dbd things or just random things in general! You may not see it, but what you have to do is take all of your subscribers on your channel and envision them all standing in one room with you! That's about 7 THOUSAND people in one room all standing, loving and appreciating you and what you do for us! someone may have been going through what your going through right now in the past, and perhaps one of your videos popped up on their recommended, and your funny and great personality put them in a much better mood they were in before. You may not think it or feel it but we love you Kaiser, I send all my love to you. 😇🤗 you can get through this!😌
I wish I could find the words, but I know even if I could, I am just a stranger on the internet. What I will say is you have a very beautiful heart and a very beautiful mind. The people who know you and care for you can definitely see that and the community you grew just from your online presence knows it as well. It's been said, but please reach out to those you do trust - sending much love.
Just like how you logically came to the conclusion that your mother will need your car after you hypothetically drive it off, your mom NEEDS you, as well as your community that you fostered. Cars can be easily replaced, even if they are expensive, but there is only one Kaiser, and no amount of money can replace that.
Yo mint skull you watch this channel??? Hell yeah. Your are hella nice bro, I love when this guy gets support,but I never knew you played dbd and watched him. Cool!
Kaiser you’re one of my favourite dbd RU-vidrs a big reason is I enjoy your humour and the way you voice your opinions on dbd and it’s balance and other things your content is genuinely entertaining and enjoyable. I also understand how it feels to be in your position life gets so low at points and I hope it gets better for you idk if my comment will reach you but genuinely you’re enjoyable to watch and I hope all the best for you
I wrote out over 4 paragraphs but decided to delete it. I realised there is nothing I can say in this moment that can truly help. When I was depressed words didn't truly mean anything because none of it mattered. Depression is not something we can fix for someone else. It is a true one person battle. The best outsiders can do is show support give a kind word and hope that enough of them begin to form a layer of protection. You mean alot to me kaiser you are a reminder of how I can do better you make me a better person and I'm sure I'm not alone with that. You are so special and unique and I hope that we don't have to loose you and I hope you can find the strength to fight the bitch called depression. Please stay safe kaiser I know depression won't let you believe it but you really do mean more to us than you can possibly imagine
Your the best man I’ve been making content for a long time your videos inspire me to keep going and push forward an I love you man your videos always give me something to watch everyday an that’s very important to me
Firstly I want to give you a reason people like you, it's cos you're authentic and have passion. Not gonna lie it's a double edge sword but you're always you. This was me up until about 14 months ago. In those times a lot of stuff has happened, my perspective has shifted. I'm proud of the person I am now for the first time in over 30 years. I hope the same for you 💜
