Can you talk about impulsive aggression. My 3yo is really struggling with unprovoked and untriggered aggression? For example she will walk past a kid... turn around and kick them out of nowhere and then keep walking.
im 36 and i was dianoised with fas , or rather fasd how ever you want to label it , when i was 2 i was also tested at genius level intelligence so i can process what is said to me rather quickly how ever in the moment when some one is being repeative it VERY aggrovating even when i say " i get that " can we please move on and dont CUT them off becuase we already have difficulties with expressing what were trying to get often i i know what i want to say in my head by the time i go to say it ive lost the word and have to replace it with a simular word and wehre im thinking logically alot of people think with emotion and mistake my bluntness as malcious or something else not the case its just what the sentence is noit scarastic or meaning to hurt
Hi Elizabeth: "the plan" refers to what we have talked to the person about proactively. So, maybe "the plan" is that when the person gets upset, they go and walk around the backyard or they go draw in their bedroom for a few minutes. However, getting these plans to "work" in the moment is difficult and requires that the person 1) is developmentally ready to make/follow these kinds of plans and 2) that they are willing to make these plans with us. If one or both of those is not in place, planning becomes less effective and we need to focus on other supports. Nate discusses this type of planning in his book, "Essential FASD Supports" if you want a framework for getting to that point.
Again…. AGAIN after years of being a student of yours : U evoke tears 😭 for me cuz I forget to Remember -what my daughter needs from me. I LOVE YOU NATE!!!
Of course I see the benefit of learning to more positively relate to those with FASD. However, the real world isn't going to coddle our loved ones in this way. For instance, an employer is not going to tolerate insubordination and disrespect. How do we train our FASD kids to control their emotions before constantly becoming escalated?
The answer to that is complicated! You might want to check out Nate's book, "Essential FASD Supports", to give you a framework of how to understand and address emotional regulation in both ourselves and our kids.
Maybe! It depends on what you mean by "solve" and how practical recording certain moments is for a supporter. Many kids get dysregulated--even when presented with video evidence--because the interplaying issues here go very deep. It's not about helping them "fix" their perception in many cases.
I’m almost always very irritable. I’ve tried SSRIs, ketamine, getting off caffeine, and several OTC pills. Nothing really stops it long term. I found I had low T, but bring that up doesn’t seem to help irritability either. Thank god my wife brushes it off.
My 8 yr old who has never had any issues before now started telling me she doesn’t feel real and she’s irritable all day long .. it’s starting to impact every part of her life. She does seem to have anxiety.
I watched this after seeing similarities between my mother who has had stroke and another person who I know. Both will fill in the blanks with false information when needed. They also both hate being wrong or being accused of lying.
There is definitely a learning curve and bigger systems issues at play. However, children deserve to learn and interact in a way that works for them, and this video is a starting place. If a professional does not ever "have time" to give a child time to think, it may very well be a bad placement match for the child and their team should seek alternatives.
My 88 year old mom has frontotemporal dementia. About a year ago she started what I would call confabulation. One or two truths would be thrown in with a long complicated story. Usually they were sad or depressing. But within months her stories became so off the wall and wild that I live in fear of loved ones coming to visit!! Recently she entertained her new doctors staff with tells of her learning to drive at the Brick Yard, setting time records that made Richard Petty tip his hat at her! She facinated the nurses with tales of the year the track was built and the company that layed the brick. She even recalled the names of the builders children who accompanied him when they weren't in school! She goes into minute detail, leaves nothing out. The next story can be about dear friends who we've known for 50 years who chained their children in closets at night, locked the kids outside all day, how it broke her heart to watch them eat worms and grass to stay alive. You never know what shes going to say. She has severely hurt several loved ones so far, what she told had zero truth to it but those loved ones have been destroyed. Not to mention how she can gut me and my family. Those loved one she hurt cant imagine what i hear as I am her full time, unpaid caregiver. I am her daughter and Ive had my heart ripped out and handed back to me many times. I love her and I know it isnt her talking but it has almost ruined my life at times. She was a wonderful and fun mother when we were kids. She also suffered a severe brain injury from a bad wreck in the 70s. So I feel its not just the dementia causing this heartbreaking symptom. All you can do is try to redirect the story or interrupt by adding light hearted funny things to make her laugh. No one knows how hard us caregivers work, especially when no one really sees us, the physical and emotional turmoil that is our life.
I totally understand. I have just diagnosed my mom with this. She went on a campaign of terror when I started putting boundaries in place; I couldn't trust her anymore. 😊
Thank you for sharing. We had an older gentleman we basically took in as family. He was here for every holiday, birthday, and event. He started making up crazy stories. He told us he was buried alive twice, he was a lobsterman, sheriff and mayor of a small town, he tried to get my son fired by saying he was a deviant, he said we stole from him and lastly...he competed against Arbold Schwarzenegger in body building although he is about 5 ft tall. Unfortunately, we cannot have him near our children anymore.
I love Divine inspiration! What a gift you've been blessed with, to understand people on a level that others couldn't understand before! You are so very important to others in this world! You are like an umbrella in the rain!
Hey there, I would not necessarily view this as a "sign" of FASD. Rather, it is a sign of some type of executive dysfunction or maybe anxiety or maybe communication divergence. So I would not be surprised at this being how the brain of someone with an FASD may interact, but also in many other situations including Autism and ADHD and many other situations.
I feel so irritable like I just want everyone to go away and I am grinting my teeth and I am mean. I don't want to to be mean but I want everyone including my animals to leave me alone. I'm soon tired and just over the flu and I'm like a wounded and mad grizzly bear looking for that cave to hibernate and sleep and sleep with no noise or a single living soul near me. I'm trying to hold together but it's hard not to lash out.
Nate - this is priceless information. We are still using your training with family, friends, and teachers. It makes sense for us of this crazy life we sometimes have so that we are compassionate with our daughter. AND to you - Jeff - I want to say THANK YOU dad for looking for help. As a mom of a 13 year old teen daughter, her dad lets me handle most of the hard battles. You are a gift to your son! Keep up the excellent parenting!
It doesn’t seem you are producing content much in the past couple of years. I wonder if it’s due to Covid? I hope you are well. I came across your video bc I was searching irritability in children who have anxiety. My 9 year old son is very anxious recently (but has always suffered from anxiety to an extent) and his attitude has become a cause of worry for me. He is easily irritated and super critical of everyone. I understand the point of trying not to escalate the situation by having my own reaction but a lot of time it’s directed at his younger sister and I can’t allow her to be his figurative punching bag. Additionally I feel he is highly critical of me, if I forget something he has to comment on it and will never let me forget the one time I did (fill in the blank). As a family I feel kind held hostage by his mood swings . If we are going out to do something either as a family or errands to the store and he doesn’t want to do it he will find things to complain the entire time to the point where it puts us in a bad mood too and it’s easier to just stay home. I know it’s the anxiety but it really just feels like he’s being a jerk bc he wants his way. Even if we try to sweeten the deal by offering something for him while we are out (like getting a pack of Pokémon cards, lol) he’s super focused on that one thing and once it’s in hand it’s immediately back to “when are we leaving?“ We just found a therapist for him and will begin that next week and I’m hoping to figure out how we can help him feel better. Anyway, good short video explaining that the irritability comes with the anxiety. That is something I just recently discovered.
Question: How might schools and school staff handle students who confabulate if the false memories are in regard to behavioral incidents that may require disciplinary consequences?
Hi Timothy. This is a tough question to answer in a comment as it goes back to many fundamental problems with the systems which are in place. While every situation is different, the question we should be asking is "why are disciplinary consequences required?" Regardless of confabulation, do punishments work for the student with an FASD? Probably not. So when confabulation is a part of it, there are likely many negative consequences to punishing the person if they do not think they did anything wrong (or do not agree with what is said about them). The school system not considering things like this is a big problem, which is one of the reasons why the systems need to fundamentally change how they interpret "challenging behaviors" and their responses to it.
