Got married in Las Vegas for 5k. Went online picked a chapel, flowers and music. Spoke to the priest before about what we wanted. Had a handful of ppl attend and there were cameras in the room for family and friends to watch live for free and four hours after the service. Still married 😉 My female and very Greek cousin in the other hand had a big banquet hall wedding with 300 ppl and her family spent 50k. They divorced 3 years later. Her ex remarried after he cheated on her numerous times and he ended up having a big celebration as well but at least his family paid for it the second time.
Kind of wish I’d responded to your call cuz I had a destination wedding due to logistic reasons and I don’t regret a single dollar spent. I loved the party I threw for my family and I even got to wear my wedding dress twice! Would love to have spoken about a different perspective 😊
I don't know why 30k is the price tag and yet this is being described as an extra or over the top wedding. I am fully off of socials and the catering at my "wedding," which was just a Kosher reception 10 months after the legal event, cost $225 per person for CATERING ONLY. It wasn't even table service or an open bar, it was just buffet style with beer and wine. We had originally eloped and our parents were NOT okay with it. Nobody acknowledged our wedding, instead choosing to gossip behind our backs about why we weren't having a ceremony. I was going through a tough time during our engagement and we were (and still are) going without serious home repairs, healthcare, and further education/career development (name a Millennial who isn't). My mom really wanted to have a party and made it clear that they had the budget but we were not entitled to use the money for anything else. So we gave in. We did not have a paper invites, a photographer, a dress or any makeup or hair, a DJ, a florist, a planner, a ceremony, a rehearsal or welcome dinner, a bachelor or bachelorette party, a cake, favors, or a honeymoon. The venue was a park district building. I have been stressed by having to travel for weddings in the past and still feel anxiety about people having to travel to come to our wedding. The event caused permanent damage in my relationship with my mom, stressed my relationship with my husband, and now I am gonna incur another expense going to therapy to talk it all out.
I'm so glad i learned to do this any years ago. i watched so many working class friends, absolutely agonize over costs for someone else's insane wedding. Here's how you make that easy: if your rich friend drops all these expensive expectations on you, while knowing how much you are already struggling...They Are NOT your friend! Cut them off cold and walk away. I will drop everything for a friend in trouble or need, and i have many times....there are good people out here and life is too short to be bothered with selfish people. 😊
Making money is not the same as keeping it there is a reason why investments aren't well taught in schools, the examples you gave are well stationed, the market crisis gave me my first millions, people shy away from hard times, I embrace them.. well at least my advisor does lol.
Investors should be cautious this period about their exposure and be wary of new buys, especially during inflation. Such high yields in this recession is only possible under the supervision of a professional or trusted advisor.
Wow, this is excellent! As a beginner, keeping up with all this information can be challenging. How do you stay informed? Are you an experienced investor?
I stopped trying to predict market outcomes based on chart studying after 5 years of uncertainty. Not having a mentor caused me 5 years of pain. I learned to follow the market's direction and keep it simple with discipline.
Finding financial advisors like Sharon Ann Meny who can help you shape your portfolio would be a very creative option. There will be difficult times ahead, and prudent personal money management will be essential to navigating them.
LOVE this discussion, its something I struggle to decide on as someone with kids not married to my partner. Spend your money on what really matters and making memories. On the babymoon, yeah thats a stupid idea just have a staycation what you need in the last trimester is rest
It’s super interesting to listen to this POV. I spent a lot on my wedding and don’t regret a cent. I think the whole point is to make conscious decisions, and know yourself and your taste and wants and needs. Obviously the system is rigged the prices are spiked and ads suck, but it’s so sad to listen to people talk like they were victims of trends and industries instead of actually being themselves and enjoying 😣
I'd like to start off by saying that I respect your financial commentary and advice, Chelsea. And at the same time I feel like this video could have been presented in a way that didn't turn a blind eye to the nuances of the wedding industry. What's the point of doing a video with Jamie Wolfer if you're not going to use what you learned in your discussions with her in future videos? I love your confidence, and that you'll stand your ground when you really believe in something, and you don't playcate to people. And there are so many ways the wedding complex/industry is out of control. In some cases there is a legitimate reason why something costs more because it's for a reason. And other times it's total bs. I would be hard pressed to pay a vendor a large sum of money until I have done a lot of research on rates for a service in my area, and done some budgeting math to figure out my priorities. I think your video could have been more nuanced. I also personally think it's a bad idea to not mention what the party is actually for, even if it's not for the very large vendors. It could backfire on you. And quite frankly, that's just exhausting to me, needing to remember to provide an alternate story. A bit about my wedding in 2019: destination (had to arrange everything at a different geographical location, and travel to my own wedding, as well as jet set my grandma to the wedding, and house her in a hotel) in Ontario, Canada. 150 ish guests, spent 24 000 dollars (we wanted to spend no more than 20 000 originally). My husband is extremely frugal and we were careful with the vendors we selected, and kept an excel spreadsheet of all our wedding related expenses. My biggest regret is being so focused on spending as little as possible on our banquet hall that we ended up choosing a sub par one that ended up causing a bunch of problems on our wedding day. Additionally I really value photography and videography and would have chosen both for our wedding day. Unfortunately hiring both was not in our budget, and so I had to choose one. I ended up choosing a photographer over videography. If we had the money to arrange a professional videographer, I would have had so much fun with it because it matters to me. And I would have watched that video countless times. We were lucky that we had a relative that made some videos of our wedding for us, and even with those I watched them so many times my husband got sick of the same videos playing, lol. I sometimes spend time watching other peoples' professional wedding videos on RU-vid, because they're so much fun to watch (maybe I'm a weirdo, but I enjoy the high end cinematic feel of some of them. And the emotions 🤷) Bottom line is how much you spend on a wedding should not put you into debt, should align with what you truly envision for that day and not what you think it should be (in my case, a lot of what I wanted happens to align with the "societal norm". I have friends that wanted something very different, and I loved that for them, because they are very different people from me), and how you divide up your wedding budget should reflect what's most important to you. Some vendors will be more important for one couple and so they will spend more on that specific vendor. For others, those same services may not matter as much to them, and so they may opt out of using it at all, or select a lower cost vendor for that service. Nuance, I was hoping to see more nuance out of this video. Maybe that's contradictory in some ways to the stance the video is supposed to make. But I think there's ways to interject more nuance nonetheless
*another regret was spending a lot of money on fake flowers and not planning out shipping better for said flowers so as to minimize costs in that area (shipping of these realistic looking flowers from the US was excessive)
I'd love to hear from some people who have considered mostly DIY and cost-cut most of their wedding, and then regretted that decision? Such as the counter argument to not spending enough on certain areas. For example, I've heard from friends in the past, where they cut back on venue, but still had to spend a decent amount on event rental equipment and a company to help create their backyard wedding. Some small weddings can get away with spending less than $10k, but if you have a guest list of 80, I wonder how big the difference would be. My take is, if I have more stress/planning/prep work to just save an extra $5K for $30K wedding, is it even worth it?
Totally agree with lower key weddings, but want to point out that the "Wedding Tax" exists because of the additional time, assurances, and cost to a business with weddings because of the additional pressure from clients to have everything be perfect. Not all vendors could justify it, but it can be valid depending on the service. If you choose not to let them know it's a wedding when you request a service, be prepared for disappointment if there is a mishap. They may not have the extra safeguards in place that they might for something wedding related. I went to a salon to get my hair done when I eloped/mini wedding(15ppl) and told them it was for family photos, no regrets. But I told the restaurant it was for a wedding and they went out of their way to take care of us. I've worked in the wedding industry for almost 20 yrs in photography.
We're spending 50k and don't regret it at all! Granted, we have zero debt and high incomes. And 50k reflects the choices we decided would be worth it to celebrate. Spending this much isn't necessary, but let's not call wanting a traditional wedding dress a "collective mental illness." Sorry but you tend to get extremely judgmental, too, hyperbole aside. There's no winning when people say you're spending too much, not enough, etc. and this is just the other side of the coin when you phrase things so negatively.
Also, I disagree on the tip jars (which are contractually required regardless with our catering service) if you are doing a cash bar. If guests are buying their own drinks, they can decide the tip. And yes, cash bars are completely fine at a wedding. If you're feeding them, giving them n/a bevs, etc, and they decide alcohol is part of their celebration, they can decide whether a couple bucks is worth it to them. Alcohol is not an essential party component. Anyone who thinks so should probably reevaluate their relationship to it.
Experiences v. Stuff: Millennials didn't start that trend, but Millennials are certainly the generation that revels in taking credit for things. Experiences v. Stuff is an age-related, cycle-of-life, issue. What's critical is that OPPORTUNITIES for experiences have expanded, and thus, the "family" cycle is delayed by each successive generation.
this was such a great point of view! My partner transitioned after the wedding and we are so happy together, but looking back at old photos of our wedding in SF during the pandemic makes us feel like those were our old selves. there was a lot of pressure to do things a certain way from family as well as the need to face reality of the pandemic's limitations. I love my wedding AND also I would change it. with all of the happy changes in our lives and growth as people, we plan on having a wedding part 2 with close friends and family at a park or home. something wayyy more afordable. I really like diy and crafting, and I still have a lot left over from our wedding pt.1. Most importantly, we are planning on a new photoshoot where we both feel beautiful, because we deserve happy memories post pandemic too.
I got married in Missouri in 2021 and spent $3k on a videographer. I thought it was worth it, but completely understand anyone who doesn't think that. We spent the most money on photo and video and still kept our wedding at around $15k. The wedding tax is real.
Once you put ,Wedding: in front of anything, prices go up!! shoes, dresses, meal prices, everything!! and this thing about been the happiest day of your life, ask most Brides afterwards, the day flies by in a blur! Its amazing marketing is what it is.
Welcome to the lower class college kids What’s that? People older than you lied to you? Yeaaaah that’s why we ended up here too Hope you like food service jobs
My husband and i got married last year in Las Vegas after having 1 kid and living together 7 years 😋. It wasn’t really planed ahead of time 🙃, we went for a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert 🎶 and decided to take advantage of the fast track wedding you can have in Vegas 🤣. Friday we went for the wedding license and the next day we got married at “The Little White Chapel” on April fool’s day 😆. After that we went to a cool bbq place with a brewery in the Art district and at night to the concert 🤘🏼😎. For us it was perfect!!!, totally a private event just for us, simple and a really fun memory for our love story 👩🏻❤️👨🏾 (No debt, no stress 😎👌🏼✨)
Its a mix bag as an Italian, a lot of areas on one hand rely on tourism for a couple summer months as their main way of making money for the entire year. Especially in the South which doesn’t have much industry or job prospects generally. On the other, it becomes crowded and often tourists are arrogant and disrespectful. Italy is a beautiful country with many places worth visiting no one has heard of but traveling just for trend and consuming instead of experiencing and appreciating causes issues.
Oh man "the entire point of automation and combined productivity with human and computer ability was supposed to make our lives easier and less work heavy for all of us. Why are we going in the wrong direction to try and prove to each other how busy we all are?" This!!! To hell with your girlboss, bootstraps, boomer glorification of overwork, that's why we made automation! The only people that benefit off you working harder and producing more when you don't have to (unless you own the means of your production) is the rich!!! That's why they want you to believe this. Lololol
If you are worried about the possibility of someone leaving you get a prenup and have the rate of payments be per child. Also have all investments be split so you get at least half of his investment portfolio. Get a life insurance policy as well. Then even if he does leave you, you and your family will be okay. Also make sure you can go back to work if you need to and have other supports if able.
Not sure if TFD has done this already, but could we get an episode about chasing experiences (not just travel) generally? I think we can all agree that it's better to spend your money on experiences than a bunch of trinkets gathering dust in your house, but sometimes I wonder if we're chasing experiences too much. Like concerts, festivals, etc, are fun, but they can also be unhealthy escapism or just not worth it (or an exercise in FOMO). Or maybe I'm just getting older and grumpier, I dunno.
We almost did a backyard wedding at my parent's house, until we looked at the cost. Just renting a tent, bathrooms, tables, chairs, even a floor (since it's hard for people to walk in heels on grass) ended up being way more expensive than just renting a hall! That is not discussed enough. For our wedding in 2021, it was about $1,800 to rent our hall and it came with tables, chairs, and a small kitchen for food to be prepped. Adding on food catered from a local restaurant was about $4200, and drinks (that we bought at Costco and then paying for a bartender) was about $1,000. So our reception was about $9,000 (adding on DJ, cake, etc.) with 130 people. Everyone left full and drunk, and we had no debt from it either.
“They might be stupid, they might have had all the contacts, but they got the shit and I’m gonna die in a ditch. Who gives a fuck if they’re stupid. They still get the life I wanted. Hearing they don’t deserve it doesn’t fuckin help, it just makes my failures even more depressing.” My response to “they don’t wanna hear that the richer guy is unhappy and stupid.”
Speaking as a non-American, this whole concept of splitting up payments equally is insane. Maybe this is done in Canada but everyone I know would be absolutely horrified to have to split costs equally, esp if some got a super fancy steak and you got a modest salad. You pay for what you eat/drink. Period. Splitting up bills in restaurants is super easy, the servers always ask together or separate. I would absolutely never pay $700 for something I didn't participate in.
I don't have a lot of room for books, so I get most of my books from the library (usually the Libby app), then only buy a book if I've really really liked it and would like to read it again.
The older I get the more I think that college should be something people do in their late 20s. I had absolutely no idea what I wanted out of my life at 18 and ended up getting a degree in a random major so I could 'get out' of college and stop taking out loans. I have such a better idea of what I'm capable of and what careers entail now. But I'm basically stuck doing what I'm doing.
My ePub and audiobooks on my iPad have exploded the last 4 years, 2 months. I’m rereading Trouble is what I do before my NYPL holds. Also waiting for the WNYC/NYPL Virtual Book Club Get Lit With All of it selection.
Around $4k to elope in CO and $3000 of that was photos and video (actually debated on the video for a bit but we plan to have kids and wanted them to be able to be able to see/have that). Zero regrets!
I have one full-size bookshelf in my home and at this point it's maybe 3/4 full, the rest of the space taken up by framed photos and knickknacks. My public library card is a huge money saver. Since even most books I like I'll probably never read again I don't have to spend money to enjoy them or space at home to keep them. And since I'm only borrowing them there's an even greater incentive to actually read them.
It is curious that while good people go to great lengths to spare their children from suffering, few of them seem to notice that the one (and only) guaranteed way to prevent all the suffering of their children is not to bring those children into existence in the first place. David Benatar
So each guest brought you INE THOUSAND dollar cash gift, right? I mean , wedding is a business- did you tell guests to bring cash gifts, at a minimum 500 per person?
We got married in January at city hall on a weekday (the cheapest date we can find). No reception. We were pregnant and saving for a downpayment on a house. Still think back to that day fondly and not one single regret!
