"You're Not Ugly, You're Just Poor": A Deep Dive 

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As a child people would say to my mother “what a pretty little girl “. My mother took me aside and told me “All little girls are beautiful “. My first memory of being proud of myself was when one of my father’s friends was impressed when I responded to his compliment with “All little girls are beautiful “ with delight. I was six. I still remember.

"A little montage of celebrity men who randomly grew hair at the age of 40+" was a banger

I just try to shower, wash face, brush teeth, and keep hair clean. That’s my routine. You guys have no idea how difficult these steps can be for seniors. Mobility issues make even basic hygiene impossible without home health aid.

As a fair-skinned Asian who has grown up in Southeast Asia and America, I want to make a correction on a very common misconception stated again in this episode… Asian people value fair skin NOT to “be more like Caucasians”… (that is incredibly self-aggrandizing of Americans and Caucasians to say). Asian people have valued fair skin long before colonialism - look to ancient China or Japan as examples. In Asia, dark skin has been associated with working in rice fields and rural poverty, and pale skin with a more comfortable cosmopolitan life indoors equipped with AC. You have it right that social class has an effect on societal beauty standards, but please stop with the “Asians want to be white” mentality. It is not only misinformation but also insulting to the people of the largest continent on earth. We have enough of our own toxic standards, thank you.

My husband is a middle school teacher and he recently told me about how the boys in his school are all about 'body maxing', and as he explains it to me I just look at him and say "that's a beauty routine, what you are describing is just all the things girls do to feel acceptable. We call them beauty routines." And he says "Yes, that's what I told them, but the boys have assured me it is completely different." I guess it's all in the branding 🤦

One of the hardest things about aging is that, no matter how much you might accept getting older, you will run across others who will point out to you that you are now older, less desirable, and not worthy of respect than younger women. It's very strange. I don't know if men deal with this, but women definitely do.

“A permanent hamster wheel of aesthetic inadequacy”

This is just another reason to love the great Dolly Parton - she has always been unselfconsciously up front about the amount of artifice that goes into her look.

I often get complimented on my skin and I often say, "It took a lot of work" cause it did or "I have an extensive routine". Some people seem taken aback like I should pretend I was just naturally blessed. I think people like the fantasy and my response breaks that fantasy.

Fun Fact: when sugar was very very expensive (Elizabeth I) people of high status had noticeable cavities in their front teeth….the poor would chew on charcoal to get the upper class look. Dark History w Bailey Sarian.

I remember assisting a couple to go bankrupt on $11.7M debt, I hadn't thought that much about it until I saw their dates of birth on the documents. They were in their 60s and looked in their 40s. A life-long (starting at childhood) wealthy, leisurely lifestyle had made them look so much healthier and younger. I think about that couple a lot whenever I see someone who looks weathered and older. Very different lives.

I teach afterschool classes to elementary and middle-school kids. When I was picking up my elementary class from the gym to walk them over to the classroom for our first day this term, one of the kids looked up at me and said, "You're really pretty." I thanked her and appreciated her compliment, but what I appreciated most was well, I'm built like the proverbial teapot--short and stout---and I was glad that this nine-year-old kid looked at me and saw "pretty" rather than current beauty standards which would say that I'm far from that. I don't know if it's because she hasn't been exposed to a lot of media, or her family is good at making sure she sees a lot of different perspectives on beauty or what, but I hope she continues to think people who don't match the beauty standards are pretty.

When I was 10 years old, my mom was 34. I thought she was the most beautiful person on planet earth. What she looked liked then (she was petite with curves) has remained my idea of beauty. She was so natural and not trying to be beautiful. She had long curly brown hair and smokey gray eyes. The media has never been able to change my mind about that. My mom=beauty. She was also genuinely kind and loving. I wish I would have told her that.

On the premium on paleness, before European empires, there existed Asian empires with their hierarchical socioeconomic structures that also put a premium on paleness. The pale aesthetic that is prevalent in modern Asian beauty standards is more influenced by the historical trend of wealthy Asian aristocrats being able to stay inside and avoid the sun, while the peasants who worked outside and were more exposed to the sun grew tan. Women’s makeup was paper-white back then, and even now Korean and Japanese women are encouraged to buy foundation that is one shade lighter than their actual skin (and darker shades are sometimes not even produced, because “that’s not the makeup company’s target audience”). There was even the fad of foot binding in China, which meant the daughter who had been subjected to it, never needed to go on foot for her entire life; she had servants to do her bidding. This historical association of “pale”, and even “sickly” or “helpless”, with the ideal of “rich” - this trend has a longer history and stronger impact on modern Asian beauty standards, than the more recent trend of “trying to look more European”. “Trying to look more European” has an impact on modern Asian beauty standards, but in different forms. For example, the “double lid” eye surgery. We know from paintings and writings from old China and old Japan that thin eyes, and even blood-shot eyes that looked like they had just shed tears, were seen as “bedroom” and were prized as sexy. This is why traditional makeup on maiko in Kyoto includes a hint of red eye makeup, it is another form of the historical “teary bedroom eyes”. The more modern trend of larger and double-lidded eyes, is a reflection of globalization’s impact on modern Asian beauty standards. So in modern Asian beauty standards, there is a double-whammy: there is both “old empire” (Asian empires of India, China, Japan, etc. where the pale aristocrats could send their armies to raid or conquer nearby kingdoms), as well as “new empire” (European empires, where pale aristocrats could send their armies to raid or colonize far-off kingdoms). Both of them blend now into a globalized and savage marketing campaign of “You’re currently not beautiful enough, but we can sell you something to fix it, here or abroad” onto modern Asian women.

I don't think "thin" ever left, and a lot of us were likely lying to ourselves amidst the irrational exuberance of the 2010s.

If you look at medieval literature, norse sagas and the like, one thing that really whacks you upside the head is the way beauty = character. Pretty is good and moral, ugly is evil. Today's media is actually a bit more subtle about it, but nothing really changes.

"See, girls, we have options!" I almost chocked on my lunch at this :D GOLD!! x)

The advantage of ugliness (over beauty), is that it lasts.

Straitening your teeth is not a beauty enhancement. We're told that so insurance can avoid paying for things you need. Crowded teeth can break and cause tension. Its not a beauty enhancement, they have convinced us otherwise

When the anti-aging section begins the second I pull out my retinol 😅

Re: Skin Care - One of the best things an older woman ever did for me in my early 20's was when I looked at my absolutely gorgeous aunt (by marriage) who was in her early 50's and said "girl, drop that skincare routine!". She looked me dead in the eyes with so much love and said that she is genetically predisposed to look the way she does and no amount of effort on my part would make me look like her because we are different people with different genetics. I carry that with me today.

As a visibly physically disabled woman, it doesn't matter where in the world I go (from the US, currently living abroad, have spent significant amounts of time in 3 countries other than the US) I will never be considered beautiful. I recognized this fairly early on. I had a brief period in high school where I desperately tried to fit the beauty standards, but no matter how much makeup I put on, or if I managed to get designer clothes (I also grew up, and am still on, the poor side of things) I was still the weird broken girl. Gave up trying by the end of high school in 2011, much to my mom's disappointment. It's freeing though, in its own way. Obviously I keep a baseline of care for myself, but I haven't worried about makeup, labels, or hair (style) for years. I've got a few friends. Sometimes wish I had a bit more going on socially, but also know there isn't much I can do about it. People will either tolerate/like me or they won't, and makeup isn't going to make the scale move much either way.

As a girl who sprouted to 5'11 by 8th grade with bad knees,acne, braces and ever thickening glasses it was my mother telling me how ugly I was esp as my blonde hair went to ash blonde. I ignored her mightily and wore peasant skirts, went braless,danced whenever I could even if partner was short. I dressed for comfort and if it repelled, all the better. Settled at 6'1 being glad the ortho didn't shorten my legs as I begged in HS. I studied how Bea Arthur and others commanded space and attention and emulated. Now at 66 and cane dependent, most days I would be content to simply be nude if not in sweats and fleece. When I do dress up it means war, my only cosmetic is chapstick. Disability really messed with my aging perception but made it seem even more insane to seek to look younger with a neuromuscular disease, easier to let people think I am old.

On teeth, this discourse reminded me of a recent case in France : dentist Lionel Guedj was found guilty of more than 300 counts of malpractice and mutilation on patients. He practiced in the northern districts of Marseille, where people are predominantly poor, and access to healthcare is scarce. He committed social security fraud and told the patients they needed full teeth removal and prosthetics set, or tooth crowns, only yo be able to get social security money. The surgeries were always poorly and quickly done. This man lied to patients who were only trying to get rid of pain (some of them only had a few cavities and got tricked into having all their teeth devitalized and crowned), and he sold them the dream of pearly white healthy teeth. They instead got severe pain, trauma, and social distress due to f*cked up, rotting teeth. Even in France, where we have some social security, dental health and appearance is still the biggest social marker, with the poor not getting treatment as it's scarcely covered, and sometimes getting duped by greedy "professionals"

I think the best thing you can do for your own mental health and wellness is to quit all of the socials. I left social media completely about a year ago and my self esteem and the peace in my soul is back. I feel contented, even though I don’t make much money, I am so much happier and able to focus and appreciate on the things that are real blessings (good food with friends, clean water, a roof over my head). Quit the socials and reclaim your life!

Ha, I'm both poor and ugly!

I'm older. I'm overweight. I'm short. I do NOTHING to change my appearance. When my weight is down, I reward myself with nice clothes, and maybe a professional haircut. I care about health--my weight bothers me--but it's not critical to how I see myself. I EARNED my gray hair and wrinkles. I love my hair now. I am comfortable in my own skin. If I had 15K, I wouldn't spend it on cosmetics and skin care; I'd invest it, or help someone who needs it. I really don't care what people see. I care about whether they think I'm nice, or smart, or a good singer, or a wise person. If how I look matters to you, that says more about YOU than ME.

I guess I should be grateful to my childhood trauma induced depression as an adult. It has afforded me the "luxury " of not giving a shit about most of everything.

That orthodontics happen to make your teeth esthetically nice is a side benefit, in my mind. We got braces for our kids because in this day and age, you keep your teeth. In my mom's day, everyone had dentures fairly early. So regular dental work is great to preserve your teeth, but if you have a mess of cross bites (like i do) they wear unevenly over time and can cause a different sort of problem for your teeth and jaws. As far as the rest of it, no one is coming to save you from the hampster wheel. You have to step off yourself.

Tiffany ferg did an excellent video on teeth! Class signifiers often include luxury bags, clothing and jewels but they’ve always included parts of the body too like hair, nails and teeth

Thank you for this video! My partner has chronic acne and was told by his own parents to wear charcoal masks, wash his face more etc., when the true cause was a chronic undiagnosed illness. Young children of 8 are wearing skincare brands that are out of my budget as a salaried adult and it's shocking to see

Constantly telling women that they can choose to be in control of absolutely everything based on willpower is keeping so many pockets lined. Your house would be clean if you wanted it to be, your skin would be clear if you wanted it to be, your waist would be tiny if you wanted it to be - if you just tried hard enough, on top of also being financially successful if you just prioritize it over everything else, and emotionally successful if you are just nice and palatable enough. If you really wanted to have it all, 24 hours in the day would be enough to be financially successful, romantically fulfilled, socially successful, skinny, pretty and a perfect housekeeper. If you just wanted it enough, you would buy all our products and services.

I am mixed-race British-Filipino. In response to the question about non-Western beauty standards I should mention that I just came back from holiday in the Philippines and was amazed by the focus on light skin as a measure of beauty for both woman and men - including the number of beauty salons and products devoted to just skin whitening. I also noticed the comments by Filipina family members who met my (Caucasian Australian) wife regarding her light skin and and how much they loved it. I know this type of beauty standard is common throughout South East and East Asia - and it was briefly mentioned in the video - but it was revealing to see it in person.

My work friend is from the Philippines and I am german-polish. She has quite dark skin and I am as white/pale as you can get. The other day we talked about how we both got bullied because of our skin colour in our home country and how we tried everything to become the opposite. Quite ironic.

I look at those skin care/makeup videos sped up to 2-4x speed, and it's STILL 15 minutes. AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT 😅

I loved “Guinness World Records”and “Top Ten of Everything” books when growing up and I remember seeing a photo of Lilian Bettacot, the owner of L’Oréal, who was the wealthiest woman in the world at least one year, and thinking “if she uses her own products that shows they don’t really work”.

We used to say "plastic people" back in tbe 70s. When did plastic become a desired look? Me, im all natural and i dont care if its not "desirable". Its all so bizarre.

The older I got, the more aware I was of skin care marketing. I never really bought into most of it. My nighttime skincare routine consists of cheap drugstore cleanser followed by even cheaper drugstore vitamin e oil. In the morning, a quick rinse with just water followed by moisturizer with sunscreen.

Made me think of the time a date told my daughter that she had "expensive teeth". She had actually been pretty lucky in that department, although there was some mild orthodontic work.

I had to spend over 12 grand, and by "spend" I mean take out significant loans, to pay for some significant dental work, including an implant. I consider it money well spent as it would make it easier for me to get better paying jobs and it improves my self-confidence, but even with insurance from work I had to pay the vast majority out of pocket. It was a major issue for many years that affected my health, mental and physical and social well being. Yet these things are not covered by paid for insurance, never mind our healthcare services.

Also I think we need to reopen the dialogue around "being pretty". I think there's enough evidence to suggest that though "pretty privilege" is a thing, there's absolutely no meaningful correlation between being pretty and living a truly happy, fulfilling life. You can in fact be "ugly" and still live a life that proves you're attractive and valuable. We need to stop telling women they need to "feel beautiful". You don't need to "feel beautiful". You need to take care of your hygiene, enjoy grooming however you like it best, and realize feeling valuable is far more hinged on how you treat people and what you contribute to the world. Be physically ugly. It won't matter. You don't need to feel beautiful because beauty does not equal good outcomes.

Many of the comments here claim that women not spending enormous amounts of money & time on literally changing their faces and bodies is “lazy”? Why is existing without deeming yourself inadequate and in need of fixing lazy? Then many others claim the societal conditioning around beauty - which is proven to effect both income & quality of life can be fixed by “remembering it’s all in your head and it’s your fault for not just improving your self esteem”. The beauty industry is hugely profitable. It’s making that profit by conditioning young girls to hate their faces & bodies, and then teaching them that their “ugliness” is their own moral failing. (A moral failing that can conveniently be fixed by buying more products). Society treating you like shit for not meeting beauty standards isn’t your moral failing guys, it’s theirs.

I live in a rural area and wear no make up and have no beauty routine or even a consideration of beauty. Beauty is who you are, what is in your heart. I remember being in my third year of college, looking in the mirror about to put on mascara and just couldn't do it anymore. I'm sixty-four years old and I haven't worn make up since that day in 1981. Just say no, young women. Don't fall for it all. It is a game where everyone loses - everyone. Because you'll never be the fairest of them all, or if you are, you'll be afraid that tomorrow, someone else will be more beautiful. As for job prospects, I get it. And I hate it for women to have that be an issue for them. I know women farmers, women professional gardeners, women teachers... they don't have to be more beautiful than others to be respected in their work. Maybe this is a city-living thing, or an American thing (I'm in Canada). But I think, and this video is a great example of this, it needs to be openly talked about. The power over women's sense of themselves that is wielded by influencers and advertisers needs to be seen and women need to take their power back. Don't let anyone tell you that you are not enough, not beautiful in your own perfect way, not able to do a job because you're not ... white, thin, blonde, pretty... fill in the blank with whatever bullshit you can think of... it's all disempowering. See it. Call it out. Then hold your head up high and walk away from it.

I'm all for Natural beauty and better health. I learned a longtime ago before social media really blew up to like or appreciate the imperfections that make me a unique looking individual. Beauty standards continue to change and evolve and it is impossible to please everyone at any given time Self love and being content with the most healthiest version of yourself should always be the ultimate goal.

one thing not mentioned much is also how time consuming it is to stay pretty and young. And time is absolutely a huge expense. All of those expensive skin care routines are also very time consuming. putting on makeup and styling hair is time consuming. Even if you're able to have or afford surgery or treatment, they often have a built in recovery time where you might need to take time off work or not be able to do your own housework which is an added expense on top of the cost of the procedure. Even going to the gym multiple times per week can be prohibitively time consuming when you have work and kids and a bunch of commitments. Rich people who have stylists and trainers don't only benefit from being able to pay for these things with money, but the training and getting styled and made up IS part of their job.

Another thing I think is very important is the privileged of time/energy/lack of life struggles. I went to college in the late 90s with some people I am still FB friends with. All of them married early and popped out a bunch of kids. All of them look well into their 40's since their time, energy, and money went towards raising their families and working hard. I'm 44 and childfree and didn't get married until I was 39. I had a lot more time to devote to skin care, exercise, nutrition, and focusing on my looks. I've done it on the cheap. My skincare products all cost under $25, I've never had procedures done and only had a few facials in my life. But I was meticulous about sunscreen and sun protection. I started skincare, exercising, and nutrition focus in my teens. I've been a gym rat for decades. Also I was very lucky never to have major health issues or significant tragedies/struggles in my life. I look much younger than my classmates simply because I had way more time to focus on my appearance and for much of my life, I've just had to worry about me.

I've been a skincare fan since I was a teen (15 years ago) because I was bad at makeup. As I've learnt, I've make choices, and my skincare now is no bullshit and to the point with what I do need (and cheap), no extras, no magic potions. I was considered obsesive and questioned if all that skincare make any difference at all. Now I hear recomendations of expensive useless things, because my very basic skincare makes them think I.m doing it wrong...

LOVE these video essays! So well done.

The phrase 'getting older just means it's another year you did not die' really helped me. I think I look alright for my age, but that freed me from caring that NO ONE would think I was in my early twenties. (My mum got mistaken for 18 till she was in her 40's, so, for a few years I was gutted I didn't follow her example)

You talked about eating disorders and body dysmorphia. But I wanted to add a different perspective. I don't have actual research to back this up, just experience and observation. Some people who have been through sexual trauma, especially child sexual trauma, suffer from self-esteem issues and live with crushing shame. Intentionally or unintentionally making yourself "not beautiful" or having bad hygiene in general can be a defense mechanism against being "chosen." It can also be a way to cope with feelings of shame that you don't deserve it. Those feelings of shame are perpetuated by losing out on things like job opportunities and romantic connections. It's great to support people who have survived SA and CSA (let's be honest, no one really wants to talk about CSA because it makes everyone uncomfortable, so there's little opportunity for support there), but when it comes down to the nitty-gritty realities of being a survivor, such as not living up to societal beauty standards, there's a lot less sympathy. Especially for CSA survivors, who are literally working against programming that they shouldn't be beautiful. If beauty is understood by society to indicate unearned positive traits - like morals, trustworthiness, likeability to a certain extent - adds yet another layer on CSA survivors, many of whom can use this rubric to enforce the shameful feeling that they deserve what happened to them. Again, not speaking for everyone, but I wanted to put it out there.

Phineas & Ferb had an episode that had the model agent straight up state they were looking for an unobtainable standard of beauty in order to pump up sales. In a Disney children’s cartoon!!

It's so depressing seeing a tidal wave of forum posts from people in their late teens to early twenties asking for anti-aging advice, and the constant fixation on life supposedly ending at 30 - often commented on ironically, but with a pinch of sincerity - drives me nuts. Like my child, you are 22, your life isn't almost over. They even say that crap in ads for therapy apps, yikes! I'm mid-30s and feel 'younger' than I have in years, despite having zero work done and barely any self-care regime beyond mental health. People have always feared aging, but the dominance of social media has turned it into a dreadful obssession for people who, to me at least, look like they still get their school lunches packed for them. It's insane. Touch grass, make real life connections, and wear your scars/stretch marks/wrinkles/"imperfections" with pride.

Too bad more people don’t work on their inner beauty. Youth and beauty fade. It’s an inescapable fact. But character, peace, kindness, and joy last. And unlike cosmetics, you can’t just run out and buy them. You have to earn them.

Thank you so much for making this video available. I was wondering why i've become obsessed with fitness over fashion lately. Keep up the great work!

Being too tall for a woman is like being too short for men. Can't change it yet without costly surgery it really effects your economic, social and romantic opportunities.

As a hairstylist I truly enjoy that I get to change people's look and play with that societal standard

I feel really blessed that I don't live in the United States, you guys have absolutely crazy beauty standards for women! The normalization of major surgeries like facelifts, BBLs, or nosejobs are bonkers to me 😮😅 I live in Central Europe and the only people I know who had plastic surgery are people like my mom who had a breast reductionfor health reasons (back pain). I would never risk my health for beauty. A surgery is a surgery, it doesn't make it any less risky if it's "just" plastic surgery

The editing on this was so effective! Well done!

Its all in our minds. We use these products or buy these things THINKING they improve our looks, maybe they do, but also its all in our heads. Once you accept yourself as you naturally are, you don't need these products to make yourself feel good.

Wow! This cover though. Can’t wait for the premier.

Out of everything, I think what has helped is 1) exercise (which costs me maybe $50 a year, as I do it at home) 2) sunscreen 3) skincare and makeup thag dowsn't irritatw my skin 4) learning how to cut my own hair 5) cheap retinol wash for body for my face, from Biovene 6) NYK1 lash serum, when it's on sale 7) Minoxidil for my eyebrows and hair (generic version) I'm expensive - no doubt about that, but it's not the most expensive things that have helped the most to lok that way

Great video. Also, that bookshelf is fire!

Thank you for this video. It is so easy to fall into the trap of 'self care' that is just about aesthetics. Your video is a good checkin with myself

Naomi Wolfe called this out years ago, and people just labeled her as a "bitter, angry feminist". Reading "The Beauty Myth" was a life changer for me.

Best advice I could give to the younger people. And these will have positive long lasting results. 1. Stay out of the sun! So many people want that natural tan and will lay out for hours in the sun in the summer months. It’s okay to go out for an hour or so but if your trying to avoid wrinkles just don’t do it! Wear sunscreen, and always wear your sun glasses that will protect that sensitive around your eyes. 2. Have a bedtime that doesn’t go into the ams! I know your young wanna party but that will all catch up with you if your not carful. Stick to a decent bedtime schedule, this will help you to avoid dark circles under your eyes and premature aging. 3. Hydrate!!!!! So many young people drink soda and Gatorade. This isn’t hydration!! Drink water and lots of it every few hours. This severely effects your skin. In fact this is one of the top reasons that wrinkles can start to from is because of dehydration. 4. Stop smoking! Smoking can cause you to age faster than pretty much anything else. 5. Stop drinking! Drinking dehydrates you and will cause premature aging, it’s truly the worse thing for your skin. Stick to drinking occasionally. There are so many more tips I can give but those are things that will be incredibly effective. I know this because I do it myself. I’m 37 years old yet I’ve been told I look 32! Sometimes even late 20s because I do all these things that have greatly benefited me. Prevention is all that is needed. You don’t need to spend a million dollars on beauty care. Just live a healthy life style and you can look like a million bucks no joke. 😊

Love to see Intelexual's work featured ❤

Great content. I really appreciate the research that goes into these deep dive videos. Thank you!

"Why don't you just eat better and go to the gym" is such a classist and ableist statement. Everyone who doesn't live under a rock knows that there are food deserts, and that eating well costs a fortune. Many people can't afford a gym membership, or don't have a gym near them. Disabled people often can't work out at all, or it will damage their health further. Even walking to the mailbox (if you can walk) can be a challenge.

This was a very interesting and informative video. I turn 41 soon and the only "objection" I have here is the weight section. I've been both underweight and overweight (unrelated to eating disorders) and as I'm getting older, I've realised that no matter how irritating it is to accept a so called "beauty standard", a healthy weight IS and SHOULD be the most desireble. Not because of aestethic or fixation on looks, but because unforturnately, getting older will become more painful if you are too heavy OR too thin. "Clean eating" is a term I hate, though, because it implies that NOT eating like what's perceived as "clean", makes you "dirty", turning your food and eating into a question of hygiene and moral, that it just shouldn't be! I need to eat more like the average man calorywise, due to a very heavy job, but I don't have the time, energy or will to turn it into "perfection". The important things in no specific order, are: - getting full - getting enough nutritiants - an easy routine - taste I want to make sure I don't get hungry midst work, that I don't skip the fat (because past 40 your face definitely will look older if you're 10-20 pounds below your "ideal" weight). I want to keep my "work day diet" simple, easy, sustainable and preferably with some treats. How ever, if I tried to make a nutritionwise "perfect" diet plan for my average work day, I'd be beyond stressed and definitely paying way too much money that I just don't have - while also getting a way worse mental health, which is a price I'm not wiling to pay. Sure, I care about my looks and it's not FUN to notice wrinkles and more brittle hair, but since my work is 100% physical and also quite heavy - often in bad weather - I've become far more concerned with keeping my joints, bones and muscles as painfree as possible - which can be expensive too! Some of the BEST advices to keep the aging signs away some, are to take care of your mobility and your muscles, use sunscreen and get enough sleep. All of it possible to do in one way or another for MOST people - and of course, according to what's possible for each individual. I use affordable skincare products with retinol too, yes, but I've never had the patience to use make-up and when it comes to my hair, I just want to keep it long for as long as I can. My one purely for the aestethic routine, is painting my nails, something I started to do not even a year ago. My hands easily get scarred at work and the wear and tear is much more visible when I don't care about my nails. So, when I have the energy, I use cheap polish to brighten them up. Also: your feet! For the love of all things good: take care of your feet and remember that SOME calluses are SUPPOSED TO BE THERE (same with your hands) to protect your skin from too much pressure. This little tirade of my reminds me that once I've finished this excellent video, I have to take at least 30 minutes to stretch my aching, aging body because I'm 40+, it's winter and my work is taking a huge toll on me. Thank you for the reminder that "beauty" and health so often are about money and time, two things the absolute majority of the world's population, simply don't have to keep up with even a fraction of the beauty standards!

I was working in finance and had a grreat budget for self care . Lonely asf but I looked nice. Marriage, kids, staying at home instead of working....ugly. I woke up out of it and now getting myself back into the game. Around the ones I love because they come first.

What a beautifully thought out piece with acute reflections. Thanks TFD!!

I do not like the instagram look. I enjoy people who are different.

Most people miss it but the secret to living comfortably, beautifully and healthy is finding a way to make returns while your money works for you. My Dad, as i remember started saving for retirement quite late but I know he was making more than 10k returns from his investments monthly and it was completely passive, and he looks beautiful 😂

Lmao I find it hilarious that Tyga made it into that montage @24:27 of men over 40 that magically grew hair 😂 😂

This was wonderful! Thank you so much.

i'm loving the long-form content! keep it up!

You referenced “intellectual”! I love her content. I really like when 2 of my fav RU-vidrs cross paths!

For most of my young adult life, basics like manicure/pedicures & regular visits to the salon were out of reach financially, much less access to a dermatologist or dentist. I had an old root canal/crown from my teens go bad on me in my early 30s. We had no health insurance & had to put the procedure on a credit card because no dentist would accept payments. I had the old crown removed, the infection cleaned out & a new crown put in place. That crown went bad & I ultimately had to have the tooth removed entirely. ( All of this was essentially surgical intervention requiring anesthesia so why tf is dental just not part of regular insurance?) My personal dentist would not take payments for a bridge, so I had to wait over a year to have the tooth replaced. He bitched me out for waiting because teeth will shift blablahblah. Um yeah dude, I couldn't afford it after maxing out a credit card on other medical expenses. He was also always pushing veneers on me (my front teeth had been patched & were very discolored) but even with insurance, that is considered "cosmetic" & not covered. I really don't understand how dental & visual are considered separate from health insurance. So yeah, beauty is often just accessible to the wealthy who can afford to pay for things standard HMOs won't cover.

Great video. Thank you! I learned quite a bit.

I'm ready for this one!!

Fun fact: in Brazil, Brazilian Butt Lift is called only "Butt Lift". But here (pun not intended) the champions are: liposuction, breast augmentation, botox and rhinoplasty.

Great job adding Lexual to the works cited. Her content is spectacular.

This video is so fantastic and so needed

My sister and I used to joke about trendy hair "It doesn't have to look good, it just has to look expensive."

I agree that it should be the choice of each individual to define the extent to which they want to participate in beauty culture. To be honest, for me, I think being decently groomed, and reasonably fit is enough to exist comfortably in society. Being on either extreme of looks spectrum will just create a situation where you are mostly defined by your looks. If you're just average or slightly above average (eg cute rather than drop dead gorgeous), people are less likely to focus on your appearance too much and see other, more important aspects.

I feel like the underlying problem here is no sense of identity/low self esteem…

This is an interesting topic. Thanks for covering this.

Great video! 😊 More of these types of videos please re: beauty and health.

I've seen a video exactly like this, but eager to see your take on the topic.

I’m not on tt but Ive been saying what you mentioned about skincare for a couple years. Skincare marketing is absolutely wild and people who don’t engage with weight loss, makeup, or fashion content can be influenced by skincare trends. My teenager has friends that wouldn’t be caught dead wearing makeup but have shelves full of skincare. it’s nuts

Really thorough, excellent style in reporting!

Amazing video , thank you so much

ironically i got an ad for noom (weight loss) and had a photo ad for plastic surgery under this video as i watched it

The US culture is insane. I do have crooked teeth but never in a million years would I feel apprehensive at a job interview because of it.

I love you, love you, love you for creating this content. Thank you❤

This is very informative. Thank you

I'm ugly. And it hasn't got a thing to do with being poor or lazy. Some people are just born far beyond the pale of beauty standards.

The irony of there being a Skims ad as I watch this

Excellent research, eloquent presentation.