Hugh Mayers is a Psychotherapist and Relationship Coach passionate about love, Romance, and human development. This is a platform that promotes better relationship competency, communication, understanding, and how to resolve conflicts to make your unions work. Also, we take a look at how do our emotions control us, limiting beliefs, and group think. As well as exploring ways to access our autonomy, and develop psychologically.
Dr Tommy Curry is spot on, and there needs to be more black men like him in black academia. It’s almost as though some black feminists believe that black and racialised males are benefiting from the white patriarchy just for the fact of us being male. Lady Esi herself said on this very podcast how black women are seen as aggressive, but they’re not seen as a threat in society the same way black men are. Obviously, this has implications which cause disproportionate rates of state violence, unemployment, educational achievement etc for black males.
@@brucelang1201 You have to wonder if that's the reason for the bias. Fury being the TV network's cash cow. Or did Fury sell them the snake oil with his rhetoric?
There are black gay people and sexual orientation confusion can often be a factor to black young men killing themselves so it’s very relevant to the topic. The fact that you would rather that character not be in the production and general homophobia in the black community is part of the problem!
Just on a point of clarification my sister, I didn't suggest the character shouldn't be in the play because they were gay. The point I was making was the intersectionality of Blackness and homosexuality was done less clearly and engaging compared to other characters' intersectionality with respect to Blackness and male heterosexuality or Blackness and class etc. etc. In short, for my money the gay character could have done with more work from the writing core
Thanks for your take you’ve raised some really important points. I watched it last year and I thought it was very powerful performance/production. There was no need for props. As a parent who has been bereaved by suicide and who now works in a voluntary capacity in suicide prevention I hope those who watch also think about how life’s challenges impact our young men and how easily they can slip into having ill mental health. I know I’m often the only black person in the room when prevention discussions happen and that is testament to the fact that it’s a taboo, unaccepted and undiscussed topic in our community. Unfortunately, the fact that you haven’t mentioned suicide, apart from saying the production got “dark”, speaks for itself and proves my point. It’s a real issue that impact every demographic of communities. I wonder if you asked your son if he’s ever had suicidal thoughts? For the record speaking about suicide doesn’t make someone more prone to taking their own life…it’s the opposite. I’m thankful to Ryan Calais Cameron for highlighting and bringing awareness to the topic 🙏🏾👏🏾 How can you give it 3/5 and say you’re going back….it was 5/5 for me!
I really appreciate your comments and I'm truly sorry for your loss. If I had concerns about anyone with respect to suicide I wouldn't hesitate to ask them frankly and clearly " Are you thinking about ending your life? Do you have a plan? Have you thought about a time? etc. I'm a suicide prevention trainer, and lots of people wrongly think if you raise the question about ending life it will give the people the idea. In the play itself there wasn't much references about suicide. I emphasize a strong three out of 5. I found it really really good, close to excellent but not magnificent or absolutely spectacularly awe-inspiring 😊
I'm seeing this podcast very late, but thank you so much for such an informative discussion. My parents divorced when I was 11 but my father never stopped loving my mother. They married young and had 6 of us. We are a close family and marriage is important to us, though all of us have been divorced at some point. This never diminished my respect for the institution.
If you’re concerned about problematic people in the music industry you should focus on the misogymoir in rap music. It’s really annoying to hear men sit in discussion about what a woman chooses to do with their own bodies. Why don’t you focus on helping BM in the community improve their behaviour and mental health. Why are y’all fixated on “fixing” women?! Big up Lady E! If a woman’s body looks amazing at 54 why shouldn’t she show it off?! A woman can be wise and sexy at the same time…taking care of yourself physically doesn’t mean you’re not wise. Ms Badu is an empowerer of women. The insecurity of men is way too loud and proud.
" Fixation" Lol. Maybe there are various things to focus on with respect to problematics in Black music misogynwoir is just one relevant area. But surely within a society striving for equality no group should be beyond discussion. It's more an exploration of the half naked image. But should we not be able to critique male rappers ie. The behaviour of Future but not be able to Sexy explore Red. And with respect to Erykah having her booty out it's her perogative but if you think that is a great example for Black girls and young Black woman that's your opinion some Black women or even men may care to politely question it, or disagree. Let's not try to shut down debate, we are much bigger than that as a people. Thanks for the feedback sis
I disagree to a point because it's somewhat of a double standard, when women sit around and talk about men more than anything else. More about holding each other accountable and keeping it real.
@@gaia1218 absolutely we should hold each other accountable. It’s not a “double standard” to ask men to focus on holding other men accountable, that’s their responsibility just as women should hold women accountable. My point is that there’s much worse things going on in music and entertainment than a 50 year old mother of grown adult children showing some cheeks. I don’t engage in sitting around discussing men…preferring to focus my efforts and energies on my sisters.
The virgin= purity+innocence. The Mother: Nurturer+Cultivator+teacher The Matriarch: wisdom+ Advisor+Guide+Inspirer. These archetypes aren’t really visible in spheres of influence and media that dictates trends today. We used to see these archetypes in our homes ie extended family, neighbours and communities especially religiously and culturally. Today imo virginity is to be lost as soon as possible. The mother is encouraged to be all they can be without needing a husband revenge though the best environment to raise children is one where a mother and father are present in a child’s life. And the matriarch is encouraged to behave like a younger woman competing with younger women for the type of men all the females want. It’s quite sad as abandoning those archetypes eventually has a harmful effect and outcome for them and children. Loving the discussion and the panels contribution. Love Light Realness
The perpetrators always manipulate the vulnerable person to into silence. However it is NEVER the victims fault. Some parents are not safe people to tell anyway which is usually how they were sidelined and abused.
hey that dj supreme sounds in telligent refrence too time code at 8mins 30 sec ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-Kbp3Gc3DWwQ.htmlsi=Bow-O-P6rYHd_kYF
The mother in the clip was in different or oblivious to her son's feelings of hurt and vulnerability. Boys and their mother's honour is a sensitive issue
in this conversation not enough accountability was put on women and the system of feminism that has damaged and warped black womens minds, in addition to our unspeakable history. Black men are the more simple sex in terms of our requirements and needs in a relationship and considering black women are very arguably the most beautiful women on the planet, the question is what has made black men en masse say black women are a bad deal long term?
Haven’t finished listening to this conversation but had to drop a wurd of appreciation and a like. Loving this. reconciliation will always bring about beautiful healing
Would love to see my people fighting for our brothers and sisters in the Congo, Sudan, Haiti and our own black people who are also oppressed and discriminated against in Palestine. Yes, we pray for peace but I don’t see you out there fighting for our own “oppressed globally”. Black people always so quick to fight the battles of others sooner than fight our own battles.
That is so one dimensional and reductionist. If the Palestinians Marched when George Floyd died and, shared techniques of how to give first aid to Black people who had suffered tear gas attack and how to handle other chemical weapons during BLM demonstrations and Palestinian reps met with the Black Panthers back in the 60s. Then I feel justified in my analysis to morally support them in their struggle. I spend 90 % of my effort working with and educating my Black students, sharing what I've learned from the likes of Malcolm X. to Dr. Amos Wilson to Na'im Akbar but someone is gonna question me on what they don't see me doing. That's fascinating. But it's cool to announce on this platform demonstrations and other initiatives for addressing what is going on in the Congo, Sudan or Haiti I would support that 100%.
Thank you, for sharing Hugh, definitely conversation that needs to continue looking back to move forward. A lot of healing still needs to take place and more and more people need to pour out their truth. Keep shining 👌🏾🙏🏾🙌🏾👏🏾
I’m at the beginning of this discussion and surprised that the challenges list doesn’t include healing. Doing the work to understand what went wrong in relationships, accepting accountability for the part we’ve played in its failure and doing the work to fix ourselves, childhood trauma and recognising why we attract and are attracted to the same people that we may not be compatible with. Therapy/counselling or lack there of is definitely a challenge.
It wasn't intended to be an exhaustive list as such, but more like a few common themes that people would find relatable. However, those points you suggested would be ideal for a work shop series or on day seminar for Black couples. With regards to solutions we touch on some take away pointers in the later part of the evening. Which is in the part two : "Mindfulness In Black Relationships"
Black women in particular rarely call police on their black men regardless!! We don’t have the same protection as others,, Police could be called but cannot be trusted to treat a black man fairly and not trump up charges! The psychology of abuse frequently impacts mental health especially of its happened over time. Until and only if a woman feels adequately protected and not in fear of his repercussions they will rarely report it’
Nonetheless we have to keep our focus on the importance of the Psychological wellbeing of boys and men and the silent killer, male suicide. Maybe there should be a Minister for Men's mental health
I hear your point Sis as I can relate from a personal perspective as that is exactly what did. I was more concerned with the possible persecution of my attacker and not of my own safety. However, I agree with Hugh, the topic being discussed is about men and their mental health so let's keep focused on that please 🙏🏾
The documentary was more of a mockumentary!!! whenever you have actors or actresses standing in to give deliberately dramatised statements on behalf of / instead of the actual accusers that already puts the accused at a huge disadvantage, a bit like the Michael jackson ‘mock-u-mentary made by Oprah. Furthermore none of these women should be called victims either. this instantly creates a supposition of harm done. Until he is given a fair trial (if that’s at all possible now) and found guilty, then and only then should these women be called victims. Right now we simply have accusers and the accused. Emotional language should be obliterated from all media and certainly actors and actresses should not be used to dramatise statements of the accusers. They should be written and held up to the screen for us to read and for the visually impaired perhaps it could be read by AI. Even with this deliberate manipulation from the media then as far as i know this man has still not been interviewed by the police never mind charged or convicted! There has been much talk of others saying they were asked if they have any sex related beans to spill on Russel. It seems ‘they’ve’ been trying to gather enough of a story against him for a good few years!!! I have every sympathy for anyone who’s suffered abuse of any form including those that have been mis-accused. I can’t help but wonder if Mr Brand was not so vocal about his politics and views on possible ‘global agendas’ if they would have been so interested. The government themselves have sadly promoted this idea by getting involved in the news story by strongly suggesting to RU-vid & Rumble that they withdraw his ability to monetise his platform with them. Since when have we had parliamentary directives to suspend the earnings of uncharged non convicted individuals! Weirdly for them this action has many of us feeling defensive for Russel rather than being open and impartially awaiting the facts
If you are 3, 4th generation you are not Caribbean anymore you are black now just like the FBA/ADO. Culturally you are obroni now, you don't understand deep patwa, you can't resight, any old maroon ritual songs, name any folk dances. Have no lineage,. history, real culture, you speak somebody else's language, (how many creole language can you speak?}despite being in the of the riches countries and access to opportunities you build nothing in your parents countries, date outside of your own because you are not loyal to your own. When I listen to black Brits they act and sound more like a masa definitely not Caribbean anymore
The number #1 threat to the Caribbean community from what I'm seeing everyday seems to be white women. We can't deny that elephant in the room anymore.
What im doing. Hopefully I can get citizenship elsewhere and abandon the US. Got the degrees and money so might aswell try in a more functional nation. Will definitely be weird in the bloodline if I have kids if my descendants get a DNA test and see all the American and scots irish blood in it when they’re on the other side of the world from the “Great Satan”
Gone are the days when we had only 4 channels. Now a days we are faced with unlimited broadcasting channels showing unsavoury contents. The only solution is for us to be mentally strong. Very important discussion.
Obviously women have needs and in popular culture young women are socialized to state those needs up front. Nothing wrong with that. It's in every other song what women's needs. However, in today's society many women are never taught to consider what a man may need or value
This is such a serious issue.We of Caribbean descent has been deliberately targeted for total failure in all our endeavours in Education, business, finance to relationship. We need to urgently fix what you both have been talking about before the situation deteriorates anymore. Secondly, I need to read more African/ Caribbean newspapers to keep updated with our circumstances here and abroad. Respect is due for the show.
You our correct when you say WE need to address the situation ASAP. We have the creativity and genius to it come with answers that bring about positive change, however, we got to get moving. The first stage is awareness, so spread the word far and wide folks. And thanks for the support sir
I spoke with a fellow professional about this topic recently and he told me Birmingham is the last bastion of Caribbean culture in the UK. I think the end of sound system culture was the beginning of the end. But I still think their are solutions.
