Curly hair here! Frizz has been basically my style for 50 years. At one point I went for three years without washing or drying my hair myself. I just paid and had it done twice a week. I always felt put together. I’ve finally learned to relax over it. I don’t want to spend an hour blow drying it for it just to go frizzy the first bit of rain that hits it. I live in 🇬🇧 so that’s often! The comments I get are normally positive but I have also had people thinking I just make no effort too😂. No products seem to help. I’ve seriously tried everything!
My dad had a fro he kept shaved very short and my mom has straight hair, I’m some awkward in between of curls and waves with a constant seemingly never ending frizz that turns to a surroundings snatching cotton ball the second I brush it. No one in my life was able to teach me how to care for it and after some remarks and even actions towards how it looks and acts, I decided there must just be something wrong with my hair, even though I liked it. I had no idea frizz was normal, or that there were others like me, thank you.
There is always going to be someone that doesn't have a especific characteristic. This video is not about that, its about acceptance and love, which also includes bald people
right!! people with pin straight hair are telling me my hairs frizzy. hun, i know you can just brush it out and you’re good to go everyday, but my hair takes time, and im not abt to do my 2 hour routine everyday BEFORE school.
I have scalp dermatitis and I shed a lot of hair, to a point where it can't even grow out long enough to be shoulder length, and just in general I have a really hard time managing my curls especially past day 1. I'm keeping an eye out for anything that might treat it to improve my hair's health, but I've also come to accept my hair for what it is. If it improves, great, but that doesn't mean that my current hair is bad.
I have wavy hair and I style mine daily because I want to and I enjoy it. It's my self care. BUT I 100% agree with your sentiment as well. Only styling on wash day is perfectly fine!
My mother is always criticizing women with big curly natural hair. She always says"why doesn't she put some heat on that hair"? I always want to tell her "it's because they don't want fried, messed up hair like yours". I swear, she looks like Don King!
Id love to see your hair in a bun!! We have very similar curl patterns and im also trying to grow out my hair (its currently around my tailbone!) Also i highly recommend hairsticks for putting long heavy hair up in a bun, it makes it suuuuper comfy and looks unique as well :D
Ooo I’ll have to check those out! Good luck on your growing journey! I have a couple old videos that show my hair in a high bun and a low bun, you’ll have to scroll back on my channel a fair ways or maybe search it if you can!
Thank you so much for sharing this, it gives me relief to be reminded that perfection doesn't exist. I have ALWAYS struggled with my curly hair, and as soon as I got money started to spend it on curly hair treatments. I try to take the best care of it as possible, while being surrounded by lots of comments about my hair being "ugly" and should straighten it daily. ,y curls are nice only on the worst timings (when I should pick it up because of my activities😅)
wish people at my school understood that!! can’t even get to day 2 hair bf people start to say it’s frizzy. now whenever i wanna wear my curls out, i gotta shower the day of 😭😭
honestly I think I was a bit annoyed by some of these videos because for some of us, curly or wavy hair styling IS resisting the societal standards to have straight hair or straighten hair, but you're not really saying not to style hair but that its acceptable not to which I agree with, I guess I saw it as a bit viewing styling as excessive because Ive often been judged for putting any effort into my appearance growing up, and I guess I am a lot happier with using curly hair techniques than just treating my hair like straight hair, I don't know what I would do if I ended up with far less time and/or energy to spend on this but for now it makes me happy to style my hair and the effort feels less of a burden than the results seem to benefit me. I don't style my hair just because society wants me to, and arguably some would rather I not spend time to make my curl pattern show up and would rather I put zero effort or straighten it. I guess its the same with jewelry and makeup like I totally understand people may not like it but I personally feel happier if I occasionally wear it, I don't wear it just because of consumerism or beauty standards although those things may have been why I was exposed to some others doing their makeup, or may influence me to some extent
I think its up to people what they do with their hair, I think they should just consider what works for them and what is feasible and affordable to them, and there is also a layer of how society views it
I really appreciate this perspective ❤️ I can totally understand where you are coming from here! I hate the whole “just straighten your hair” thing too! I just think that sometimes curlyheads/wavyheads can be expected to have ✨perfect✨ curls/waves and that that part is kind of just as toxic as expecting us to straighten it! I love that styling your hair for you feels like resistance 💪🏼 keep going 🙌🏼 and I love your reflection here too! I hope it stays enjoyable and feasible for you to do ❤️
people will really be like 'just deal with it' instead of accepting that some things need to change. Its still rude to give unsolicited advice over the internet and being on the internet is not an excuse to act rude
Seriously though it always strikes me.. if people are this mean to someone whose hair looks shiny and actually somehow has ok curl definition without styling it, then how would they treat those of us whose hair is more frizzy especially when unstyled
Its wild! I quite enjoy frizz and think it looks cute on everybody, my hair is pretty close to white people hair on the “straight blond hair“ to “dark 4c hair” spectrum and I still get weird comments. I experience 1% of what others do
yeah it's weird that people always think it looks bad. I don't think my wavy curly hair looks bad if its 'frizzy' the only reason I style it is because otherwise it tangles a lot and gets in my face more even if I conditioned it
basically if I leave my hair unstyled it won't even look like yours it will literally not define any waves at all, and ends up looking mainly wavy with a few spiraly ends like sticking out 2-3 inches from my scalp and even doesn't dry as fast, but its more the way it tangles up and flies in my face that bothers me than how it looks
your hair is more like how my hair looks a few days after being styled. if I dont style it it looks very voluminous like it would fall all over my face if I leave it untied, and actually tangles up easily. It ends up being much more work and more inconvenient to not style my hair as a result.
That is so valid! Tangles definitely dicta to what a lot of people do (myself included) especially on windy days I just braid it and call it a day haha
yeah growing up I had oiled my hair a lot due to cultural standards where Im from, but I don't like having a ton of oil on my hair and it sometimes irritates my scalp if oiled hair touches it
its not racism against white people but it IS very rooted in actual racism which is what influenced eurocentric beauty standards and actually the term for discrimination against hair types is more aptly labelled 'texturism' and obviously its not racist to white people but at the same time theres a lot more going on than 'oh they were just mean to you sweaty' I say this as a south asian person can't say I know what its like to experience the racism black people do in many countries, but I have to say that theres more to it even though its not accurate for a white person to claim they face racism
and xenophobia is another type of discrimination which I have to say, was possible even for some groups of white people historically such as some european immigrants at some points in US history. its not the same exact thing as racism
Yes yes yes 🙌🏼 its all rooted in white supremacy and racism! Texurism is such a thing and the farther you are from 4c hair the less you are ridiculed. People are always mad when I say this stuff is rooted in racism and get all defensive, like I’m just simply telling you the origins! If you feel triggered by that go journal about it and come back lol
I mean frizzy hair is ugly, but having ugly hair isn't BAD. For example, i have a square hairline which is quite masculine on a girl, but i've learnt to accept it because it's just... part of me. Same with frizzy hair. Why does everyone have to look like a porcelain doll? Even in antique paintings, the ladies all had frizzy hair and there's something very pretty about how all the little wisps catch the light. So yes, whilst it may be "ugly" because it isn't perfectly neat, it has character, and i don't see that as a bad thing ❤
one thing the 70/80s did right was embrace frizzy hair. i think people are gonna look back on us in the future and ask "why did they make their hair look wet and crunchy at the same time? why did they use so much product they cant touch their hair without getting it all over their hands?"
Your comment made me think of fashion in the 80s since hair gel was absurdly popular (plus Aqua Net and mousse). Thought someone younger might be curious what it was like for hairstyles. They didn't embrace natural at all. Lots of people's hair were wet and crunchy. As someone who lived back then, I can tell you youth hair and fashion has cycled back hard in some ways to the 1980s recently, plus Y2K. Neither were into natural hairstyles. Love your hair, never torment it into submission for trends.❤️
I think the 1-10 rating system that people use today is so damaging and dehumanizing. We shouldn’t be rating human beings. People have different preferences of what they think is beautiful.
And people need to start understanding that being behind a keyboard doesn’t give consent. I know the internet is like this bit it shouldn’t be. I am not one to say “it is how it is” I want it to change
Girl whoever said your crazy for liking frizzy curly hair is crazy. I am in love with your hair❤ and I wish mine was that cute LOL. Never listen to haters cuz they are just jealous. As soon as i saw how long and pretty your hair was I was in shock because i didnt think hair could be that magestic.❤
This is so soothing and validating. I have wavy hair and I've struggled so much with accepting that my hair only looks good on day 1 (after putting in lots of time and effort, as you said, to untangle it, condition, leave in, scrunch, definition etc). Thank you for posting this kind of video and for talking about this ❤
We are all allpwed go exist and live the way we are.Mandates on hair, specially body hair need to be erradicated and theor supporters strongly called to decency and respect
Who says its ugly? Whos says inconsistent is ugly? Who says rough is ugly? Its very valid to feel that way but just know its coming from these harmful beauty standards. There NOTHING wrong with imperfect hair ❤️ I actually prefer it, and many others do too
@rachaelmerida my opinion of my own hair is MY opinion. I have over 4 decades with it. Again I don't want my hair to look that way. Fine if someone else does. I hate it.
I keep seeing your videos & I love your message so much, keep it up 🫶 I feel like you would be an amazing friend. I’m in the period of my life where I’m transitioning from obsessing over looks/beauty & finding my worth in my career, relationships, hobbies, overall just experiencing what life has to offer without thinking about what I look like while doing it. It! Is! So! Freeing!!!! My heart breaks whenever I see women like twice my age still so preoccupied with their looks. I wish I could just hug them all & give them the same freedom I’ve found in letting go
Awww thank you so much 😭 what a compliment ❤️ I love that you are doing that and finding so much freedom in it, I’m in a similar life stage too, community and friends and art and life 🫶🏼 that always breaks my heart too, I know its coming from insecurity and what they’ve been told is good/bad I just wish I could show them how much they are worth apart from their looks too
Yeah not sure what I have, I’ve always had a round”ish” face lol I will say I do have a big head/face in proportion to my body but its been like that my whole life lol trouble fitting through sweater head holes is my burden in life 😂
Yes, I look like a 1920s/30s blonde actress type, old fashioned face, blonde wavy hair, large dark eyes, and a bit like Lady Gaga as well, and have been called ugly, a man, etc, by in the main average looking people, and laughed at, ridiculed, derided etc, occasionally someone will compliment my looks but not that often. I'm totally out of time and in my personality in some ways as well, so it's nice to see other people having sort of similar issues. I love my appearance, but I really affect people.
My homie RM! Dude, you’re really 5’10”? I’ve been thinking about that the past coupla-days. I’m just 2 inches taller, but still think that’s hella hot! Told ya! 14/10
Watching a video of someone who looks so much like me makes me happy. My hair isn’t frizzy, and my body is skin and bones, but looking into your beautiful face just makes me feel wonderful. My biggest insecurity is my face, and looking at someone who has a *beautiful* ‘wider’ and softer face just like me, makes me feel pretty :) God bless
