I'm figuring out what it takes to be happy, creative, and productive through stress, crisis, and mental health challenges. Join me every week as I share my personal experiences, how I'm doing, and what I've discovered on the slow path towards mindfulness, creativity, love, joy, and all the good things that come together to create a beautiful life.
After relocating from Colorado to California in 2019, I stepped back from my creative handmade business to learn and write about the topics that matter most to me: slow living, mental health, mindfulness, creativity, and happiness. When the pandemic hit, my plans for the future fell apart in more ways than one. In 2021, my husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer and I discovered I was suffering from complex PTSD. I'm now widowed, recovering from past traumas, building a very different life than any I could have anticipated, and bringing you along for the journey.
I used to do Morning Pages too and I used to love them but I can’t stand to do them anymore. I quit them a few short years ago and every single time I tried to do them again, it all was an epic fail! I learned that they’re not even worth my time anymore. There’s nothing I can’t write in Morning Pages that I can’t jot down in my prayer journal…I’d rather do the whole prayer journal instead!
I'm always happy to hear that i'm not the only one. They work really well for some people, but they're not the only way! Your prayer journal is a great example.
It was awesome to see your sketches, Jenn! I was wondering if you take your inserts out when drawing or writing. My brain has a hard time getting over the bump from the elastic on the back cover!
Thank you for sharing. I'm trying to support my best friend who is on a similar timeline as you - Well, almost five months. You're sharing helps me do what I can. I hope knowing that is helping you a smidge.
Jen, firstly I am holding you in my heart and lifting you up in prayer. Secondly, I am 31 and married to my husband who is about to turn 42. He is a disabled combat veteran and has had multiple toxic exposures, traumatic brain injuries and other bodily injuries. Cancer, disease, and a shorter life are all probably in the cards for us. I try not to worry about it/prepare myself too much but I do appreciate you sharing and being so vulnerable. It makes it feel less scary. Your grief is a testament of your love.
How terrifying, but you're right, it's counterproductive to try to "prepare" because you don't actually know what the future will bring. And it's lovely to hear that my story made things less scary for you. That touches me.
Jen you're so brave to share your grief and the things that help. I understand what you say regarding the train scenario because of when i lost my fiance to an rta many years ago. It's different to losing a spouse & things were different back then - there wasn't the therapy available like there is today - but all i can say is that for me there seemed to be a gradual process where i realised i'd reached a place of acceptance - not forgetting because i never will forget - but a more peaceful place outside of the grief. There were times i felt guilty as i realised i'd gone several hours without thinking about him or feeling the pain of grief, & the hours would get loger & gradually become days & weeks, & that would scare me, too, as i felt the distance between us was growing, but then i realised no one & nothing could take those memories away - they are mine to keep forever so there is still a connection there which can never be btoken by age or time. I also went through weird things where my mind would play tricks - i 'd think i caught a glimpse of him in the street, & i'd have dreams where he was still alive & had just moved to a different country as he'd needed to get away from trouble but had come back to find me. Once i realised these were just my brain's normal reaction to trying to process the shock & trauma of what had happened it didn't scare me anymore. I came to a place where i could start remembering with joy instead of deep grief & sadness. I pray that you will get gradually stronger in order to withstand those bigger waves when they come & that you, too, will come to a place of peace & quiet joyful remembering without feeling the distance. Take heart & be of good courage. Belle.
Hello Jen, my age is smaller than the years of your marriage, but I hope you could feel some empathy from my comment. I know it sounds discouraging that we will never move on from our loved ones' leaving from our lives, but I believe that eventually, accepting the fact that they're gone will ease our pain. I don't think 6 months is the long period of time for your grief, and I don't think there will be a certain amount of months or years for you to completely stop feeling hurt. But I hope that you will feel better soon, not asking yourself tons of questions that will never have a correct answer. I'm sorry if I'm rambling or say what you said in the video, I can't finish it because I can't stand the strong emotions I'm feeling from watching you crying and greiving. But I truly feel your emotions to some extends because my host family lost their first (and only at that moment) grandchild last year, and I haven't seen they feel any less pain when we mention their daughter's family and mental health. I wish you all the best. I wish you are and will be receiving lots of love from people around you. I wish your next journey will be lovely and less painful.
I am glad to hear that you listened to your emotions and didn’t watch through to the end when you were feeling overwhelmed. I often have a hard time with such things too and used to beat myself up about it, but you were absolutely right to stop. I appreciate your kind words despite that overwhelm. And never apologize for your age. There is wisdom in youth too.
I lost my husband two weeks ago I feel in a daze and then his sister in law attacked me saying there must be a will...but there's no will as he wanted me to have this house...she said terrible things to me...why do people hit you when your down
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Two weeks, and everything is still so raw. I’m at six months and everything is still raw. I’m holding you in so much love and compassion. Take care of yourself.
I used to work near the Descanso gardens, they were so beautiful. Now I'm halfway across the country and I miss LA so much :( the weather sucks so bad I haven't gone out for a walk in days. Thank you for sharing this, it's inspiring. Enjoy the weather!
Love seeing you so happy and beaming (shine) from happiness in this video, made me happy too! :) ('Je straalt' is the dutch version, thanks Google Translate for helping me (kind of) haha, I couldn't figure the saying out by myself)
Thanks you, Nancy! “Je straalt.” I’m going to remember that. My late husband spent a good portion of his childhood in Holland and spoke passable Dutch, but mine is barely enough to get by
Just lovely. I am doing your same style: sketches, ephemera, watercolor. I have been thinking I would use the accordion for long weekend trips and your video sealed the deal. Thank you.
I hope it works well for you! I’m interested in continuing to play with the format. I want to go back to my footage and really take in what Jerome Robbins was doing with his!
This video was serendipitous timing 🙂. I picked up a couple of Traveler’s Notebooks on a trip to Japan earlier this year and intended to spend this afternoon documenting some memories from our first family holiday there. He’s 2 now, so it’ll be wonderful to collect a many years of adventures until he’s old enough to keep his own travel journals. I’m so inspired by all your journalling content. Thank you for sharing your creativity with us so we can nourish our creative lives too!
What a fabulous idea. I speak from experience when I say that those years will be gone before you know it. Such a cool legacy to create for your son. (But also don’t beat yourself up about creating something perfect! Making the memories is still more important than documenting them.)
I love Atlas! We went to Chicago in June just so I could go there. 😂 I have also ordered from them. I'm using Hobonichi planners for the first time this year, but also have TN's for art journaling.
Oh wow…was it an absolute Wonderland?! I’ve never used a Hobonichi, but I met someone in the airport the other night who was showing me hers and I can see the appeal!
Hi Jenn, I have been a follower on Instagram since 2018. I first discovered your account while crafting paper botanicals. I took a social media break for a while, and during that time, I sadly had no time to be creative. However, there were a couple of accounts I kept thinking about during my break, and yours was one of them. When I started using Instagram again, I noticed your RU-vid channel. I love it! I love listening to your intelligent and inspiring words. I’ve watched a few videos, and I am so sorry for your loss. You are such a strong person. I’m sending you lots of love! 💜 There’s one thing that has been on my summer list for a few years now: a swim in my favorite lake in the nearby mountain area. It always feels like a recharge being in that water, though I haven’t had a chance to do it yet this year. Greetings from Germany 🤗
I’m so glad you found me again! I more or less stopped making paper botanicals when I moved to Los Angeles because I didn’t have the space for it, but I still have a cupboard full of crepe paper. Totally understand about needing those breaks, too. Nice to have you back. (Also, I spent several weeks in Germany recently and had a fantastic time! I hope you get that lake swim in while the weather is still accommodating. )
Lovely video! Thanks Jenn. I've always wanted to make a galette--yours looked tasty! I have not yet been to the beach yet this year! I am looking forward to going; I probably will in September sometime.
From your list: Make a shrub! Assuming you meant the beverage, I wholeheartedly agree -- delicious and worth doing, especially over ice on the summer 🏝️
This is such a gentle and beautiful video. Thank you, Jenn ☺️. It’s winter for us here in Australia and it’s one of the small windows of time where it’s nice and comfortable to walk outdoors. I’ve joined a walking challenge with some coworkers and hope to spend more time walking around my neighbourhood through to spring. The summer becomes oppressively hot and humid where I live, but making a list of wonderful things to do to savour it like you did will make me dread the season less. Thanks again for your suggestions 💛.
@helenaliu I feel similarly about winter in Los Angeles. It’s definitely different from where I grew up. I used to dread the long, snowy winter, but in Southern California, it’s more like six or eight lovely months of mild temperatures!
I’m with you until you say you don’t want a collection. Dang, girl, I love collections. I do hear you loud and clear on weight to carry. As a stop gap method, I got a weekly insert and I carry that with me to have all my appointments in my bag so I can add or change w/o bumping into an already set up appointment. That inserthas no cover. I just stick it in my bag or art tote and go. At home I keep my TN with a Sterling Ink TN-size Tomoe River paper common planner which houses a quarterly goals list, habit tracker, monthly calendar on two pages, vertical weekly planner, and journal pages all in one book. I tested it out this year and love it. I’m thinking of adding a Sterling Ink notebook for straight up journaling next year as the Common Planner doesn’t have enough blank pages at the back for daily journaling. Always enjoy your videos. I just found your channel and am a new subscriber.
Happy to have you here, Cheryl. Love that Tomoe River paper. I haven’t tried Sterling Ink, but that insert sounds amazing! I’m going to look it up! Also LOL. My late husband was a huge collector of various things and I always had to corral him into his own spaces because otherwise he’d take over every inch of breathing room I set up. I need space! 😂
Oops, sorry to add another comment, but I forgot to mention that one of the reasons I like these palettes is you can curate your own personal color choices. They have removable pans of various sizes so you can set them up and change them around to your heart’s content. I’ll quit now. Thanks.
Highly recommend the sketching. I have near zero art training and am not always thrilled with my results but I enjoy the process enough that it doesn’t matter
Hallelujah! This is was I needed and now I know how to start and how to use and nothing is wrong with this way to use my Travellers Notebook 🎉 It must not be fancy, it should be my style and you showed me how to do. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart ❤ you helped me extremely 😊
I absolutely love ❤️ this post. It describes my process perfectly and is so encouraging to know others follow this path. Thank you so much for sharing!!!
You probably don’t feel this way, but you are so brave for sharing this. I lived 3 years with my husband’s cancer diagnosis, hope and despair and his ultimate death 3 1/2 years ago. Such a difficult time, a total shattering of what you thought your live would be. My first 6 months alone were totally black. My little dog was my only comfort..and I lost her 1 1/2 years ago. I see you are doing the work to move forward. My heart goes out to you and all widows. No one else gets it.
“A total shattering of what you thought your life would be” is so true. It’s not just grieving the person, it’s grieving everything that was “supposed to” happen. 4 months in, I cry when I see retired couples together. I so wanted that. Thank you, Lauryn, for this offering of common humanity.
With deepest sympathy. I'm in the UK and i can't imagine dealing with all of this (i lost my dad and brother to cancer) and thinking about the cost. May the road rise to meet you❤
Nice video Jenn! I stumbled on your Videos but enjoyed a couple of them. You have a new subscriber…. Are you still enjoying this? I have a problem with trying to find the perfect bag 😂. Looking for something to carry with me most of the time unless I go to the grocery store. I was looking at the Gram28 154 City pack and would love to drop it into this bag when I need to carry more stuff like my MacBook Air 13”
Oh the elusive “perfect bag”! I actually just used this bag today and it’s still my go-to when I’m toting my laptop (I have a 14” MacBook pro) with me.
Yes! I have a goal of getting a teaching certification so it’s important to me both for my mental health and to make sure I keep up a daily practice so I have a base of experience to teach from.
Love of learning is good. An active student of life is how I operate. Excellent ideas you've presented here and well organized Jenn. What I'm struggling with is connecting diverse 'notetaking, journaling and creating' material is a useful way without becoming overwhelmed with 'management'. So far the only thing I've used is color coding so I can quickly access the work.
I struggle with that some too. I have tried using colored dots but I find it hard to be consistent with it. Mostly, I’ve just been leaving an outside margin and using that to note what information the page contains. At least it makes it easier to flip through and quickly find what I’m looking for.
@@fromjenn Smart approach. Similar to how I did things over the years with Hobonici. I'm only experimenting with this 'travelers' notebook method. Obviously finding them narrow but it's always good to experiment a little.
Jenn, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband last July (just passed the first anniversary) and so much of what you described in this vlog reminded me of the journey that none of us wants to take. Thank you for sharing this most intimate part of your life and feel free to PM me if you think it would help to talk.
Oh Deborah, what a crap thing for us to have in common! How are you doing? I find myself dreading every new “first” and I bet that anniversary was a doozy. Thank you for your kind words and for taking the time to comment.
@@fromjenn You are right - it’s something neither of us would choose to have in common. Actually the day before the anniversary was a little more sad but, as you know, every day holds some sadness. They do get a little better over time. I hope you are doing OK and I am thinking of you!
