I’ll lie for as long as I’m here. For everyone else. Life doesn’t offer much to me. I just watch as people live play parts I don’t need just to help their journey while mine is just non existent. I exist for you all. That’s harder for me to do. But people don’t have to understand that and I get it so when I’m really me it’s morbid. Miserable. I ruin people
i’m clearly just not what he wants. He ended it last time, maybe I should this time if he’s not gonna do it. His other girlfriend is probably a lot better suited and i wish them both the best.
Feeling really tired of life lately, don’t know why I’m even feeling this wave of sadness. I really wanna end it all my heart hurts so much. Joys of life really only happen while your young, becoming an adult been nothing but pain,grief,depression,everything I’m so tired of it I wanna leave.
Brother/sis I know your going through a lot but do this every single day I want to be important as possible. You should do workout lifting weights and eat the right foods but don’t forget this god is with you no matter what I have faith in you I want you be important don’t break it
this song was playing when i lost my boyfriend back in 2017. he commented on the original video, only just came back to it to see its been taken down and reuploaded. honestly first listen since 2019.
so my dad recently passed away. He took his own life and the last things he said to me was he needed help, he was crying and I felt like i couldn’t forgive him because he was verbally abusing us, all the mean things he would say, he would tell us repeatedly he was better off dead, I thought it was just the drugs he was on because he got addicted to meth. but that morning I seen him there, just there. My brother screaming trying to take him down, my world ended, this happened only 2 weeks ago. I haven’t been eating,sleeping. all i think about is that I was there, he was asking for help..ans I couldn’t help him, it was obvious and his last text was that he was scared to die. I wish i could’ve told him i love him, that i care about him, that i would do anything just to go on a drive with him one more time. just one more fucking time. I feel like i’m going crazy like i’m going insane, i keep on seeing my extension cord and just thinking about doing it, I can’t stop, I’ve been going to church, i’ve been praying, Ive been crying, why does it still feel like everything is falling down onto me? why does it feel like nobody is listening to me? If I just end my life right now will anyone notice? will anyone care? will anyone cry for me? I just want to see my dad one more time, I miss him so much, i miss his voice and his laughter, i miss him working on his cars and being loud and noisy, i miss his hugs, his scent, i just want him back, lord i fall to sleep. praise let it be long. till all the pain is gone.
hope ur doing good and im not very good with helping people feel better but i hope ur doing well and sorry for ur loss but i promise u will get over it but it will take sum time
I've never really commented anywhere here before but this seems like a safe space and i know probably no one would read this but im really going through a hard time and need to talk to someone about it. Im 16. 3 days ago i hung out w this guy thinking he was someone else and he went along w it as if hes that person. i realized a little bit too late that its not him and it was acc a person i met at a party 2 years ago and he asked me to makeout and i said no and i never spoke to him again. I panicked and didnt know what to do cus we were in his car and he kept taking the wrong way. He got me alcohol and forced me to drink. Before i drank i told him i dont know him so all i wanna do is talk. He got me drunk and took advantage of me. When i realized whats going on i told him to drop me off and he kept telling me those werent his intentions. I didnt want to go home and pretend like nothing happened like i do everytime i get sexually assaulted. so i went to my friends and told them what happened and they went to my house and told my brother what happened eventho i didnt want my family to know. he told my mom. everyone is screaming at me, telling me its my fault and is jus upset w me. In this family all ihave is my sister, we're really close she even has my name tatooed and i was planning on getting hers as well. But she was in our home country. and she texted me and shes really upset w me and forced me to get in call w her. she screamed at me and blamed it on me. i thought she was the only person i could count on in this whole world. but even she wasnt on my side eventho shes been through worse experiences. I had the door of my room locked when i was talking to my sister. i didnt say much i was just crying while she was screaming. my dad tried to open the door and foundit locked so he got mad cus im not allowed to lock the door of my room so he took my phone and laptop. Everyone is just screaming at me after i got sexually assaulted. So i wanted to die. and i told them ill kill myself and my dad was like ill kill you instead. I was trying to find anything sharp to end it all but they wouldnt let me die. I have marks all over of my body from what the boy did to me. Im going through a really hard time and no one cared to ask about how im feeling. They all just told me its my fault. Even my sister, the only person i thought i could always count on. So i sleep, but i sleep and i dream of it. I stay awake, i constantly feel his hands all over me. I cant even look at mirror. Ive never felt so alone. I was about to end it all yesterday. And its the only thing in my mind. Ive just been listening to this song on loop ever since. and crying. crying non stop. I dont know if i could go another day or if ill stay alive any longer. Im just rotting in bed. My mom kept telling me if a 5 year old was kept in my situation she wouldve known what to do. My sister, my parents, my brother, my friends everyone just keeps telling me im so dumb but non of them were in my situation. I was panicking and i didnt know what to do. my parents just care about our reputation, how they dont know how to go down the street again knowing that people know that their daughter spoke to a guy (im not allowed to talk to guys or drink cus im muslim) and got sexually assaulted. Told me not to go down the streets for a few days so people forget about it. i constantly think of ending it all or hurting myself eventho ive been clean for over a year. i wish i had my sister to support me but she didnt bother checking up on me once. Ive never felt so alone. I cant even hangout w my guy bestfriend or anything cus im scared. I cant sleep because im scared to dream of it again. But i also cant stay awake cus i constantly feel his hands and lips on me. I dont know what to do anymore
hey girl, i’m so sorry that happened to you and I don’t want to be one of those people and tell you that things will get better, because I haven’t even gotten better myself, but just know that i’m here for you, i know i’m a random stranger but I hear you! You didn’t deserve to go through that and if you need to talk to someone i’m always here! i’m 15, 16 this July, you are heard and cared about they are so many cruel people in this damn world and what happened to you will leave you scarred for life, but i’m here to help. i’m always 1 comment away
I wish i wasn't trans not because of dyohoria not because of anything to do with me i just wish society would like me and that they wouldn't want me dead
Here is his sleep thru ur alarms newest hall studio session. ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-ea00RFTRm28.htmlsi=xwrsS7yi1tg3X4fo 1 hour loop❗
This make me thinking about how deep life is it and how it's hard for everyone, of course for yourself, we're trying our hard to just exist and live what we can, until die come for me..
Came across this couple months after it came out- I was feeling low, and still in school. Now I'm an adult, working. It's been around 6-7 years, and this is still the song I choose to be depressed to. To others like myself in the comments- life gets hard sometimes, sometimes it all feels meaningless. You're tired and you don't see an end. How you choose to move ahead is upto you. My only hope is that you put up a fight, and burn bright. "Do not go gentle into that good night... Rage, rage against the dying of the light." Love and peace to all who find this.
A few days ago I found out that thinking of suicide every day wasn’t normal and I’ve also been close to going through with it but when I ask for help from my parents they don’t believe me and ask why I’m sad….and I don’t know why and that makes me more sad because I feel like a broken machine…….I don’t know what to do…
I found this song a few years ago, and at the same time I was entering into a wonderful relationship. That relationship went to shit, and now when I listen to this song I remember a better time in my life and where that road eventually ended. thank you though, its a nice song.
Thoughts that go like bullets through you The time you told me that you wished you were dead But so broken on when you can't stop choosing To sleep through your alarms Man, you're losing your head The thoughts that go like bullets through you The time you told me that you wished you were dead But so broken on when you can't stop choosing To sleep through your alarms Man, you're losing your head
This is the song I run to when I am feeling like I need to cry. I listen to it a lot on Spotify, but currently not in the mood because of ads... But I need to cry, so I am here :)
I have friends around me and things were starting to lighten up Why am I being so selfish? Why do I want more? Who am I to deserve more? How dare I wish for more, I don’t have the right to ask for more.
Everything just hurts. Everything I do I fail at. I hurt everyone I touch and even when I think I'm learning control and getting better it's only an illusion. I can't get help because it's locked behind several thousand dollars I don't have. I live in a cruel world that will never change for the better, where evil reigns and the innocent are powerless. If I don't end up killing myself the climate or bigots or nuclear war or an economic collapse will end up doing it instead. humans don't deserve the world we were given.
My dad has diabetes, best dad in the world. He was always loving and playful when I was younger, he still is but now he has anger issues and depression. He has nerve damage in his legs and has to work a 9 to 5 through hell. He has a lot of stress and is now working 6 days a week just to pay HIS portion of the rent. This song reminds me of him. He sets up 3 alarms to get up and get in the shower, he is constantly torturing himself by thinking about all of his problems and stressing over them. I don’t know how he’s still alive. I don’t know if he’s going to die anytime soon. But if he does, pray that I cope with this well, I’m only 19, please.
This is too much for me, I physically can’t do this everyday, caring this rotting feeling with me everyday it’s just so fucking draining. It’s ruining everything, I’m ruining everything. I’m ruining my relationship with him and it hurts me so damn much I can’t keep doing this I’m so sorry I want him to know I’m so fucking sorry. I really don’t know what to do any more. Knowing that I am hurting him with my habit of isolation makes everything ten times worse but I don’t know how to stop it I dknt know. I miss him so much and I can’t tell him that I feel like I can’t tell him that