My name is Diane Chew. I'm a certified life coach and full time caregiver for my husband, Ben, who is living with Lewy body dementia. I coach caregivers as they navigate through the daily challenges of taking care of a loved one at home, addressing their needs on all levels: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. In our videos, I offer dementia tips and encouragement for caregivers as we share our love story through the challenges of dementia.
I have dealt mostly with the loss of the life I thought we would have. Now it's mostly isolation. I'm getting used to it. My wife of 54 years has MS and cognitive decline. I'm a recent follower of yours and find your short messages are very comforting and encouraging.
You are SO right on this issue. My Mom had dementia and I was her caregiver for 3 years before she began to need 24/7 care. I used to get SO frustrated with the repetition........then it finally sunk in that it is not her fault........she meant no harm........it was a symptom of the terrible disease. It changed how I behaved when the repetition occurred. Not everyone understands. Thanks for shedding light on this topic. Blessing to you and your loved one.
Thank you so much! As a young neurodivergent Early Childhood Development nerd , what I continue to discover is the recognition of repetition being SO important for well being, I always wish people give their older loved ones the same sort of grace and love and patience with repetition like we do for growing children, when we work with developing minds we recognize their memory force is different than what we know of, and we give them lots of grace and opportunities for to practice repetition of what’s most important currently for them in their developmental stage - I like to think of memory disorders as a valid developmental , yes I recognize it is practically the decay of memory, but I think of it as one version of development for so many people . people with different neurological needs grace and love too 🤍
It helps if you think of comments not as giving information but as weaving a spell, as an incantation. Then it makes sense for both of you to say something over and over, whether it's "put on your sweater," "we're going to have supper now," or "I love you."
Wife, then girlfriend, brought me to meet the patriarch (grandmother) of her family on holiday to the very small town she was from. Her grandfather had had dementia for years. He liked to sit on the porch, drink coffee and chat with whoever happens by. Since there really isn’t much to do in a town with one stop light, 460 people and a restaurant that opens only Saturday 4-8, I sat and chatted with her grandfather. I listened to the same stories multiple times a day for two weeks. He was so enthusiastic when telling them it was a joy to share the time. When we were packing the car for the drive home her grandmother walked over and gave me the biggest bear hug while whispering thanks for entertaining Bobby. As we pulled out she yelled to my wife to not bother bringing anyone else but me back to meet her because they weren’t welcome.
Thank you for this beautiful life lesson. It is inspirational. As a caregiver to my mom with Alzheimer I struggle to find the lightness in my days often. Your words remind me that I can lighten up and perhaps try a little less hard. Just so that the fun can come back.
yes - first it feels like loving care to help with everything - but it makes people dependent on but sometimes i have to hold myself back not to assist to soon ❤️❤️❤️
I hope vlogging your journey is helping - even if it’s just a little note of encouragement you read from a total stranger. Sending all positive vibes in your direction. ❤
Thank you, this video is a blessing, I hadn't realised I was already doing this. I have been so focused on the frustrating repetition, rather than the positive ones. Thank you for flicking that light switch.
Thank you, this video is a blessing, I hadn't realised I was already doing this. I have been so focused on the frustrating repetition, rather than the positive ones. Thank you for flicking that light switch.
Another thing I found very helpful with my mother was when she was frustrated & angry from not understanding & fighting it so hard, I would change the subject like nothing happened with a happy tone & a suggestion I knew she would like-such as going to sit outside on the porch or going to get an ice cream cone, etc. The phase just last a few years out of 13 & I miss her.
Before dementia, my older sister had a record collection with over five thousand titles. Near the end, she only wanted to listen to Dueling Banjos...over and over and over again.
I worked with a lady who would continuously say to me ‘oh my, look at your lovely black hair’ and each time I would say ‘why thank you, don’t tell anyone it came out a bottle!’ and she would laugh uproariously everytime 😊 It was wonderful hearing her laugh, and it cheered me no end too ❤️
The thing about memory loss is that you get to hear the same good news repeatedly over and over and it always gives you the same sense of joy. I loved hearing about a relatives pregnancy announcement several times over and over. I got to be excited many times. 🎉😂
Diane, I love you. I take care of my 96 yr old mother, and while she doesn't have dementia, she has no short term memory. I have to repeat the same things to her every day, which can frustrate me. Your quick video has taught me to be more patient (which is something I lack). thank you.
My mother would repeat this story about how some event made her made. So one day when she got to the part where she was just about to say, "Boy, that made me mad", I said in an amazed voice, "Wow, I bet that made you mad?" She would just stop, stare, smile and say, "Yes it did." Then she was on to another story. She was a brilliant, talented and kind woman. She passed 15 years ago and I still miss her even though we weren't particularly close.
Structure & routine are important when caregiving for anyone as far as medication & medical needs go but even the best laid daily plans are subject to complete chaos. ❤ so yes surrender your agenda or risk your sanity. ❤
