I'm a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker and a childhood trauma specialist. I run a private practice and love educating and discussing the dysfunctional family system and recovery.
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Learn more about Patrick Teahan, Childhood Trauma Resources and Offerings ➡️ linktr.ee/patrickteahan
A parent who feels like they're untouchable. Yes! That is the perfect word for it. Not only perfect but also untouchable. "I never did anything wrong, what's the matter with you?, I don't feel bad about the mean things I said and did to you, it's your problem you're upset by what I did, get over it." My life in a nutshell. Get over it, get over it, get over it, get over it, get over it. Ugh. Thank you, Patrick. Internet fist bumps to everyone.
And I'm 32 and don't really know who I am like I've gone through my phases in life and I've got my drug and alcohol issues have a biblical Christian worldview but I kind of have been told and noticed that I'm a chameleon and whatever group of people I'm around I adopt their style and lingo and kind of attached to that so I feel like I'm just looking for acceptance and I'm open-minded so I can easily see things from others point of view and cling on to whatever's out there
The calls were not living in our natural human state and we're not meant to be hearded into a classroom during our childhood and forced to sit in a desk and listen to stuff be crammed into our brains and have to adapt to this post industrialized world while it's all about product and productivity profit and we're retreated as consumers instead of people. Because you're told so much when you're a kid you can have fun after the work's done and study comes first then you better get your act together you'll be sleeping under a bridge and pretty much fun and being adventure soon is talk to you about the world is being a bad trait and we're programmed to be order following submissive docile people and we're forcing ourselves to fight human nature for what we think is the betterment of society and we're basically living a lie
In my experience, the toxic person/parent isn't so blatantly obvious. They are more of the manipulative, "who me", "I'm just being funny", etc type. It's this insidiousness that feels like the toxicity is done in the shadows which makes it mess with your own mental well-being.
What makes it worse is when other people come to me and ask ME why that person does the things he says and does as if I have/ever had any control over this parent's behavior.
Yes! The word is shameless!!! They have no shame!!! I have noticed this about our son-in- law. He lies, steals and slanders and will defend all of it in anger as though he’s right! When we gently called him out on it by telling our daughter he became furious!! He is absolutely raging now that we dared to call him out!! I don’t think anyone has ever done this to him !!
You're right. Typically the most toxic people are rarely called out on their behavior because you know what happens when you give them the slightest criticism -- they explode so violently that you don't dare to mention their pigheadedness ever again because their reactions are so out of proportion. And that's how they get away with it because no one is brave enough to hold them to account because they don't want to get screamed at. It's so crazymaking. A major mind-eff.
I am so proud of you all. I wish we all had that. I bet he’s an incredible young man. You changed the cycle Patrick. You broke it.. That is HUGE. 🥹🫶🏻☮️
Does anybody remember Tammy & George?? What a messed up relationship!! As girls or women, we were literally Taught to be like her. This brought back a lot..🤔 Especially Roy Clark & Glen Campbell! 😁🎶 Wow. Good…& some pretty bad memories too. So glad I have me now and I am taking better care of little me from then. We’ve got this. So do you!🙂☮️
Oceans of blessings y'all ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ trigger warning I am a survivor of incest . My mother was unalived as a result of DV. I am also an army veteran and have MST then my case manager acts like when I say I am not sleeping well I am just pretending. I was also SA as a adult. I had a family with a sociopath. Then the VA since I am a female acts like I couldn't possibly have PTSD.
Yes, excellent point ! [also] Sadly, whether it be [ie] families, neighbors, friends, workplaces - unfortunately people like this usually ''continue'' to get away with bad or abusive behavior b/c others will [per se] justify it OR rationalize it away by saying ~ ''oh, that's just how they are'' or ''they've always been like that'' ! : ( Um, No !
TW/ Kinda graphic rant of SA and domestic abuse Both my parents should be in jail tbh… my dad because he sent s*xually themed videos of me and my underage siblings to his friends (we were under 8yrs and had to fight him in court for a restraining order), he broke into our house blackout drunk after telling his friends he was going to unalive my mother. His friends told him to go home and bought him a taxi, but he still drove to ours and broke in in the middle of the night and assaulted my mum and stepdad (my siblings and I were hiding under the bed together crying our eyes out). A couple years before that he dropped me home crying and my mum asked why and he told her I was being a b**** (I wanted ice cream and he said no) and my mum started a fight with him. He and my stepmom (who was only 8yrs older than my big sister) attacked my mum and choked her in front of us… my mum was less obvious about it, but she should be in jail for abusing all her partners emotionally and physically, animal abuse, child abuse. Pulling me and my siblings out of school when we were like 16yrs and under and dumping us on a rental in the middle of nowhere before moving in with her boyfriend in a different town (she came back to swap what kid got to go with her that week and drop off groceries once a week) And there’s still so much more but that’s the big things 😅
"I'm not perfect, but I did the best I could" is the motto of the estranged parents movement. Trust me, other people's abusers do not need your help making excuses.
