Hi, I’m Kavita, a relationship coach. Most of my clients refer to me as a Love Intuitive. I have an uncanny ability to see into a woman's heart to support them in releasing any obstacle in the way of them receiving profound levels of love.
That’s what I will be doing here. Supporting you in allowing your heart to truly open, so that your everyday experience is one where you feel seen, heard, and acknowledged for who you are within every relationship in your life.
On this channel you’ll receive out of box, often unpopular, advice on love and relationships. This is so you start to tap into what is right for you, and transcend “rules” around how to relate and instead come as your most authentic self.
I love conversations, you’ll see that, it’s the foundation of my work. So, I’m excited to be in a relationship with you here, and strike up all kinds of conversations to give you the clarity that you need to have what you desire most in this part of your life.
The interviewer is obviously not clear on the lived experience of a built family and being a third party. The unlimited access that the ex wives/baby mother has to the man and his inability to set boundaries is emotional abuse. The children and the mother will ALWAYS come first. Never believe what he says. Trust his actions. If the ex takes priority leave immediately. It is never a good idea to date someone with kids. The interviewer is completely incompetent. You frantically increase your risk for being taken for granted when you date a man with children. You deserve better Queen. Run 😊
I am a parent and what you said about forgetting how we felt as children when we were not treated kindly, lovingly or with patience was a bomb! Thanks for that deep insight.
This is so good. The 80% of communication being non-verbal sounds right to me from a non-verbal comm. class I took in college back in the day. What you are saying about presence and openness puts something one of my spiritual teachers says in a new light; he says: "An open heart is the best protection." By what you are sharing i can see how. I totally relate to the example of putting trust in the other person but not being totally present and real with him, by doing things like calling out his defensiveness and asking questions from curiosity - the last man i was involved with said all the right things, but I felt something was off when actions didn't line up; I totally opened my heart to him and trusted him but, like you said, when things got hard or i really wanted to share about my joys or what i was working through, he'd shut down, or i'd feel shut down by him, or he'd get overwhelmed and say I was talking too much, or i'd generally feel not seen or like i was being presenced by him. Eventually, because I was not trusting my own intuition about this feeling off, I started to get mad and resentful and reactive as my abandonment stuff would come up about him 'not being there", like my mother, and I didn't understand why he'd be acting that way when his words said another. I'd feel hurt and go into self-protection because he wasn't truly there for me, and wouldn't want to discuss it, and then he'd do the same (feel hurt and go into self-protection) and it would spiral. it helps to write it out and see what was going on. It seems like it was really about me not trusting myself. and then i felt mad at myself for believing him all along. Once a situation like this is recognized, how do you suggest moving out of the dynamic and back into self-trust? it has honestly taken me much longer than I would have liked to move past this. I still feel love for him and also like it's best for me to not talk with him at all anymore, in any way, until i can fully move past any remaining hurt still in me about how he presented himself one way and then showed something else that was very different after my heart really opened to loving him. We have had "resolution" convos where i've been vulnerable, but at this point i honestly don't trust him to be honest with me, or himself, so the convos now feel pointless.
Once the man you really want becomes aware you’re dating other men. He’s either gonna check out completely or put you in the fun only box. Not a good idea ladies.
What about people who don't seem to want hard or borderline hard/curious conversations and say it's too much talking or processing? I was in the not saying anything category regarding uncomfortable conversations, until I started working with you. My vulnerable self-expression is getting so much better now.
I bump up against this all the time too, and it can feel really deflating. I think you have to look at whether you are actually curious within the convo or if there’s some other intentions in the mix. Like O have found when I want to look “smart” then sometimes people pick up on that. But really what I want to say is most people are uncomfortable with honesty and vulnerability that doesn’t mean we can’t bring our perspectives to the table.
Love this Kavita! It was hurtful when I'd talk to my mom from the other room and she'd yell back, "Oh Nicole, are you talking just to hear yourself talk again." I never felt she really wanted to listen to or be present with me. Or when my older step brothers would visit and she'd let them wrestle me on the ground when i was yelling for them to stop and that I couldn't breath. Her and my step-dad would also say "jokes" at my expense, which were really making fun of me, and then all laugh.
HI Kavita! I haven't forgotten about our interview time, and wanted to say I am so happy to see you on here talking about this ~ it could not have come at a better time for me. Basically, this has been my deep work and biggest desire since I did Soul Level Love with you over a year ago. The conversations with my parents were getting better and easier for me while in your course, and then something switched with them where they both started growing more distant and defensive. I am not exaggerating when I say it's been a better part of a whole year where they refuse to speak to me and believe i am trying to "divide and conquer" them - they aren't together and my dad spoke badly of my mom for as long as i can remember, but now they are suddenly buddies and i feel like they talk negatively about me behind my back (yes i told them this). I have reached out countless times practicing my vulnerablity, explaining i'm not blaming and where i'm coming from, only to feel like it falls on deaf ears, Neither of them seem to want a connection with me. I've said it all and tried every angle. I'm getting really good at not managing and saying exactly what i mean and feel. i feel orphaned and like i don't matter. i feel despair and it's kept me up at night for months. i've told them all of this. i told my mom i won't give up on us and i love her and she replies, "No you don't (love me)" and "Well I've given up on you". Ouch. And I leave my dad phone msgs. because he refuses to answer. They seem to feel threatened by this "new me" who has a voice and feelings. I feel so hurt and mad at this point that i honestly want to tell them both to go eff themselves. Seriously! At this point I feel like i'm begging with my dad. I called my mom a few weeks ago and felt the most confident and coming from myself than ever before. If anything, i am grateful how all of this space has given me more time to work on myself and practice greater vulnerability, less managing (protecting) and practice coming from feeling at home in myself with those close to me. Mom hung up on me (typical behavior for her - pretty sure she has borderline personality disorder, fyi) when i spoke my Truth with Love, and now we're back to weeks and months going by with no reaching out from her. Help! i apologize for the "heavy" first comment, but this is the truth of where i'm at and I could use some direction so it doesn't keep going on like this and how I can maintain my self-respect in the process. I feel like I need to let them know building a new and healthier kind of relationship and closeness is a 2-way street and I'm not feeling their reciprocity. I told my dad (on his answering machine) it feels like I am chasing him for a relationship and that doesn't feel good, so I guess i'm gonna stop calling and the ball is now in his court. I just want to feel their love for me, like you talk about, and to feel love - not anger - for them. Thank you for any suggestions and for this amazing work you do. It means the world to me. Blessings <3
I think for your specific situation, there's still a lot of parenting them that is occurring energetically. Wanting to appease them, and get them to come around, versus being the most self expressed version of yourself. I will talk more about this in an upcoming free workshop happening from March 25 - 27. Sign up link to come. And, let me ask you this. Our parents don't have to show up fully for us, if we feel self expressed. Sometimes expressing our needs and wants, even when they go unacknowledged can still feel free. So, ask yourself do you feel good about how you've showed up, and what you've shared, and if that has supported you? And if the answer is Yes, then that is soooo good. When our parents don't choose to show up fully, or can't. Recognizing our own efforts can be powerful. Let me know if that feels true to you?
YES This feels absolutely true for me! And just hearing you say that recognizing our own efforts can be powerful is a huge validation I did not realize I wanted or needed until now. That feels exactly what my practice is in all of this. Over the past year, it has been challenging talking to them without the guidance of a coach, but I have gotten better and better at speaking my truth with love and feeling such a freedom from that, regardless of whether or not they understood or liked it. I think that might be part of why they are distancing themselves. I was feeling like a failure because they were not always responding to my vulnerability with more vulnerability and openness on their end, but I am actually starting to feel more freedom recently the more self expressed I become and feel like that is my ultimate gauge of success. It is becoming like I literally do not need their approval any more for me to say exactly what is on my heart and mind and I find that kind of thing does not come just from having someone say "accept them as they are", if that makes sense. It seems I had been thinking I needed them to reciprocate the vulnerability and want to understand me, so I can be more fully expressed, and when they didn't do that or called me "selfish" for having needs with them, I would shut down again and allow the months with no contact from them to go by. It is a work in progress and I am getting better, but I can see how in that way I could be energetically "parenting" them in some ways still. I am now getting so fed up that I almost can't hold back my truest expression anymore; perhaps this is what i needed to show me where i am holding back and to just let loose and set myself free. I feel like my work right now is to keep on expressing and expressing, no matter what, and listening and responding to them. Is that what you are feeling from me as well?
I have one friend who’s been with her guy for years now. She and him have two kiddos together. He has 3 kids from someone else one of them in heaven. She told me her guy has never made her feel like she’s second. He has ALWAYS put her first right there with his kids!
My husband ran away from home. The men have come around like bilthres. Ugh. Im not even divirced yet. I am still grieving, healing and going through my own .... Runaway bride ..... Moment . Deciding what i like and what u want from here on. It takes time to make myself a better woman. To dustyself off. Learn. Grow... Each man coming around is unique and special in their own way. Im not remotely intersted in any of them. How do i turn down offers graciously... I was dumped in the woods. Isolated. I do need help. Im wiilling and more comfortable paying a contractor to help me. None are really available. Thin pickins in the middle of nowhere. I do need help. I am thankful. But i know men font assist women thesefays... Just because.... What todo. One guy texts that he thinks a lot about me. Im not interested.. oh my. What to say. What to do what are some suggestions you all might have?
I keep thinking about the movie runaway bride. Each man was funny, creative, ... Good men but they cant all be the one. She liked, likeable peolle and just did what each one of them liked to do. Then finally took dome time to find what she liked to do. Anyway. Thete was nothing wrong with sny of them. But not the one fir her
I tell them as soon as we meet and tell them what I’m looking for we will never be more than friends so if you looking for love please don’t sit and wait on me go and find you somebody that’s going to love you!
So who then should single dads date? Other women with kids? How does this work out either? Not complaining (I’m not a man, nor do I have kids) but I wonder and never see this addressed.
I once had someone who wanted to know why I didn't consider though he made attempts, until I was finally direct, I asked: "Do you want a sexless marriage?" Then, told him I was sexually attracted to him. Being polite and gentle did not work for years. Being direct was. He backed off, moved on with his life. I'm happy for him and hope he is doing well.
So funny to see this, all these women discuss and complain but what it really comes down to is that they can't stand it if they don't get full total attention and full access to the guys wallet. Women so narcissistic that any man is better off without them. 🤣
If you don't have the baggage of a child, stay away from single fathers. The baby mom will always try to sabotage your relationship and her child will always serve as a reminder of her and their dysfunctional relationship. You'll be involved in their drama and constantly be reminded that he made a child with someone else. Especially if you want your own healthy family one day where the man's first fatherhood is experience is with you (and trust me, you will).
Sometimes yes but sometime no because at the very very beginning they don’t even know who you are yet. So the silence could mean not that interested yet.
@@lovekavita also, does that mean that you should chase them so that they can get to know what a great catch you are? I think not, obviously the attraction is not strong enough or they aren't interested for some other reason but its not for you to keep contacting them so they change their mind
It’s not about changing their mind or convincing them of anything. It’s about asking yourself do you want him to get to know you more and if so take initiative. Don’t just follow his lead. Make your own choices. If you are frequently getting silence or a disinterested vibe then it’s a no. All I am saying is don’t just always relay on a man pursuing you. That energy isn’t always the best. You choose too.
Unless he's wealthy, don't do it. Most men are average & they make average salary. So if a man makes 70k annually & he have kids, 1/2 of that is alimony & child support. 🙄
God some of these comments are so selfish why are some of us so afraid to sacrifice for the benefit of the child. Maybe the father needs help or good influences. No option is perfect and we’re not actually queens and goddesses were human beings who need to work together and it takes a village to raise a child. He made a mistake help him. Things will pay off someday. Stop looking for instant gratification and make a real difference in someone’s life.
I look up content like this to make myself a better support in this scenario not to get a man to shower me with affection if it’s split custody you’ve got a few days a week that he can be all about you. I personally find fathers to be more mature than the fuck boys in hookup culture. Besides not many outside of fathers have picket fence dreams stop being afraid of hard work
Thanks for this - I chanced upon this at the right time. Been feeling like a loser for a long time not just in dating but in other parts of my life, which stems from the feeling that I’ve let my dad and my late mum down. Just expressed something similar to my dad - it was hard articulating it even through texting because it felt very vulnerable. But it felt somewhat cathartic. I just wish I could’ve shared it with my mum before she passed but she had mental health issues so that would have been a struggle.
