I think you are beautiful, inside and out. Thank you for recording and sharing your journey and your self. I have rarely enjoyed a video as much as yours in a long time. So happy to see you happy. It spreads!! THANK YOU!
This was super helpful. And it was nice to hear words that make sense to me, no dysphoria just curiosity. Also I didn't know I should check interactions between birth control and HRT; glad that from your video I'm using the one that doesn't interact with HRT, but that could have been a close one. If you go to a OBGYN at all and have been able to decode the experience, could you make a video about it? It would be helpful to sooth my nerves about it. Only if you want and can.
watching your videos makes me so happy. at this point in time, i'm a queer girl, but ive been wondering if im trans and oh my god you are just such a charismatic, beautiful person. its like half the passing tips that i have seen on social media are like "to be a boy and fit in with other boys you have to deny every ounce of femininity and whimsy in your soul" and then you just appear so confident and comfortable and so genuinely ecstatic to be yourself. that's all I want to be, ecstatic to be myself.
Arthur you may not see this but seeing how happy you are makes me happy and comfortable. I’m not like you but also kind of since I’m non binary. But seeing people around you accept you for your transition gives me hope that if I wear a binder some day people won’t judge me, just for being myself. Thank you. I hope you and your partner are living your best lives ❤❤
Thank you, Arthur ❤ I've been watching your videos and I strongly relate to your experiences. Every video I see after another is like I get some weight lifted, it really helps me to hear your perspective about some things I'm struggling with since it's really easy to get lost in your own thoughts sometimes, specially when you're a very anxious person and doubt yourself like me. Here I feel particularly called out too, since this one fear is what sometimes holds me back from transitioning and it's nice seeing your perspective about it, knowing it will be fine when I give it time, that I'm not that type of man I'm afraid of and that I have to fight against toxic masculinity and misogyny, but not myself.
In a world so focused on hate, trans positive content like you do is very needed for questioning folks and trans people in general or even people who want to be an ally, since you always come across as very sincere and cheerful. My guy, you're already accomplishing your goal giving us an insight to what life could be for us in the future and to take pride in our identity! It personally helps me a lot to hear about your concerns and struggles earlier on your transition since as an overthinker myself I strongly relate, and that's not something everyone does on the internet (or anywhere) since that's showing a vulnerable side, then seeing you now so happy and celebrating your identity really inspires me, it gives me so much hope for my future, suddenly some weight is lifted as I look for a positive outlook on things, it makes me want to trust my inner feelings more and stop doubting myself. I want to thank you for taking your time to make these videos
Resonated a lot with not wanting to take the step of cutting the hair bc you would lose control and couldn't turn back. Right now I'm unwillingly delaying the call to make an appointment for testosterone because I know once I'm there I'll say them that's what I want and I'm so scared of everything, the crave for normalcy is very strong too, but at the same time I know that being trans is making me happier overall, more authentic if anything, and I want to take the leap into it so badly. I think I've been longing for this my whole life, without even knowing it could be a possibility, but the fear of rejection is so strong it hurts. I'm currently self-doubting a lot and your videos help me with anxiety. You are very cute and I hope to be a bit like you someday, Arthur. You inspire me ❤
I feel so called out rn my name is Felix and I chose it bc I thought it would be cute on me (also I have a very special bond with it) and in my country is mostly a grandpa name and I have 25 lol still my bf makes it sound kind of sexy somehow 😆
For me I've always been told I'm pretty, but never felt it on a deep level, I got that same exact phase of wanting to be hot while living as a girl and something just felt off and empty too, I was doing it for others to like me, acting based on their expectations and just threw on me whatever someone else have chosen. For the most time, I didn't even care about my own opinion on my looks, never developed a style. Hell, I even spent most of my life thinking that only others could perceive you as attractive, so then you should perform to others and not yourself! Then, when I started dressing more masculine, truly picking what I liked, bought my binder and started to feel more authentic, more me, I started seeing the potential in the mirror when I finally get to start testosterone in the future and I caught myself smiling! I started to feel attractive for the first time, not being based on others, just... me. It was like, this is so good to be true, I get to be that nerdy cute soft guy I've always wanted to be without even knowing and it's so liberating and I really can't wait to show the real me to the world now I found myself. Thanks for making these videos, Arthur ❤ hearing your experiences really help to soothe my anxiety
I always find it funny when me being a trans female, find a trans man hot. Cause its like both me and this other person started out a boy and a girl and I wouldn't have been into them when they were a woman but now that they do all these things to transition I'm into them. I heard someone say something on tv once that made me laugh to myself about that, its kinda like just being straight with extra steps, hahaha. Anyways, you look great, very cute. Congrats on looking so good at the end of all this stuff.
Hi Arthur, I'm so glad you have found the happiness you deserve and look at you, your a hot handsome young man with a good looking boyfriend, so go live your life and take care of each other 🌈 💙
So you are gay transman , man you are cute , i want to ask you about taking hormones, they say it can cause of losing hair specially head hair , what do you think?
If you're worried about losing your hair there are things you can do to help prevent it- Finasteride and Minoxidil work for everyone trans or cis, but finasteride does require a prescription
I'm currently not really sure. I'm happy as a man and my surroundings. But when I look at transitions or content describing it I see myself and think I want that too. I'm afraid to give up what I currently have. I often hear people in videos saying they hated being cis before transitioning. But I'm quite happy how I am but at the same time I want to know how it is and I feel like this could be better for me. I'm dragging these thoughts around with my for years now I thought maybe it's just a curiosity but it stuck and never lessened. My biggest problem is that there is no trying. sure I can dress up and all but the real feel you only get after it's over. And I don't want to be there and think shit I shouldn't have done it and lost the ability to become a father just because I wanted to try. Also currently there isn't even a way to fully become a woman. Which is also a though holding me back thinking I rather want to be one than something in between. Ontop of all my surroundings are quite incompatible with me being a girl. I don't want to go into detail but it would throw a lot of things around. Overall whenever I watch videos or stories like this it's tearing me apart. I feel like 2 in 1 with 1 not getting what it wants.
Even just out of the first 3 minutes of this video, i relate so much to your approach even though I've only got one video posted so far but i have a list of 100 video ideas and I'm working on my 2nd video now but I'm working so hard to keep my channel positive and hopeful and about things that I'm confident already about and have indeed processed about my personal feelings. As you keep going about how the problem isn't really that trans-specific too, I love that so much too. :) I find this all very inspiring. I haven't finished the video yet and i will soon! but yeah I relate as a non-trans person to #7 and then #6 too -- ADHD meds are a controlled substance where it can be so obnoxious to fight the system to try to get my meds and I'm lucky that it's "just" ADHD meds but not having them can really impact my ability to function in very global ways that really do matter. And i love the way you shared your perspectives in #5 & #4. Very interesting that you are able to think of it that way.
5:20 - that is indeed 6 months lol -- but you had made a lot of videos by then, i just checked and was pretty impressed with how much you uploaded. I'm struggling more than i expected to get into any kind of consistency even with something like 1 video a month or 1 every two months would be so much better than what I'm at. I'm glad a Google search for "how much money is realistic to get from an LGBTQ+ RU-vid channel" led me to your video lol. It's good to also know how many hours you spend on each video. It's a little discouraging and disheartening in some ways, and encouraging and indeed heartening indeed in other ways. I kinda thought maybe there was a bit more hope of a bit more money than that with a channel like mine. I'm spending way more time than 5 hrs on each of my videos. After literally one video that was surprisingly successful, i was doing too much other research and had started to get worried I wouldn't make enough money on this EmilyTalksAceStuff channel to be worth it and started a fandom RU-vid channel that might be "more monetizable" as a test so then i posted 4 videos over there but I'm not getting nearly the views and subscribers over there and my videos aren't as meaningful over there. So far that channel (Emily Excitedly Analyzes) only focuses on Taylor Swift reaction and analysis videos. This Asexuality themed channel of mine is much more meaningful to me and it means a lot to me that other ace things I've produced like fanfiction i wrote a decade ago helped people figure out they were asexual and validated them along their journeys too. Even just coming out as asexual on my VioletEmerald fanvideo channel nearly 11 years ago helped at least one vidder friend figure out who she was. And that feels so powerful and worthwhile. But I'm an ADHDer with an interest-driven ability to do things and i need to figure out a way to actually make money. I would like to not have to stop doing my hobbies (vidding aka fanvideo editing and fanfiction writing) even though they aren't making me money. I started my own business as a secular funeral celebrant and memorial slideshow/ video creator but I'm struggling to make a living wage at it. I was hoping if RU-vid could indeed become a part time job somehow that could be an answer for me alongside being a self-employed Funeral Celebrant. I'm now thinking of following Creator Booth type advice to turn my RU-vid channel into audience members i can sell other things to as a way to make money. I won't expect RU-vid AdSense to make me too much money but i will expect maybe to eventually be able to sell some kind of Build Your Best Ace Life coaching or something to this audience. Maybe merch, maybe a sponsorship, maybe just getting them to support me on a Patreon, maybe something i haven't thought of yet. I'm not planning to jump right into that overly soon. I need to build to that stuff. But i am doing all this with a goal in mind of figuring out making much more than $1k in a year. I just. Need to hold onto the hope that is possible, if that makes any sense! Idk at this point if I'll ever get monetized by RU-vid at all. But I'm going to really try. I'm back to committing to this RU-vid channel in a serious way. :)
Not all gay guys care what happens on RuPaul's Drag Race. I enjoy watching drag shows sometimes of course but I'm not into reality TV whatsoever and not into the scene so to speak. Don't be embarrassed. I'm more of a nature Outdoors animal and sci-fi gay nerd . Everybody has their tribe so to speak. Transitioning for the most part likely doesn't really change much about that part of you. You like what you like regardless. I can only liken it too when I came out as I am a CIS gay man. For a while I tried to get into things that a lot of other gay guys seem to be into. It took me a while to find my niche and when I say that I mean I found other people that like what I like to start with and there are a lot of them but they just weren't part of the scene or the ones that were part of the scene were in the closet so to speak about their real interests. Talking about RuPaul's Drag Race seems to be the popular small talk at parties as well as sort of social credit to avoid talking religion and politics LOL
8:12 This is something I didn't find our about till YEARS later. Like, a few months ago I brought this up with my platonic partner (we talk and are chill with talking about past relationships like that!) They looked concerned and said "No wondee rhey weren't interested?! It was not the right size 💀" I personally had no idea, as I got used to it on myself?! So yes. Please be mindful there!!
3:05 THIS THIS here oh my gosh. You put it into words finally, the puzzle pieces have clicked. I wanna get top surgery so badly before being active in that regard, and I think this explains why Im hesitant to have anyone like me as I am right now. (I am not on any hormones due to finances so RIP) I often wonder what the people in my life would think of me if I passed more heavily. My body is masvuline but my chest is still not 100% avoidable. Its gotten smaller after stopping borth control, but its still not gone. This made me bang on my desk and say "dammit, hes right 😂" but I appreciate this because now I know what to do to get myself in a position to be more opem to relationships?!
12:11 Thank you so much for being vulnerable about this, Arthur. I felt this TO A T?! Like, I just thought to myself constantly "I am an object to make others happy, and their pleasure will somehow trump my displeasure and make me feel good about myself somehow" I hooked up in the same way: as if it were a game. I was searching for someone or people that could prove to me I was not trans but also...prove I was??? Its so complicated to explain. I thought I was going to find someone to euther prove or disprove my trans identity. In reality, I found men that were confused and just wanting casual sex with me. They usually didn't gender me correctly, but I never endorced it and never dressed how I felt right. I was essentially putting on one final act to try and "prove my assigned gender". It backfired, so hard that I became severely unwell for years. Moral is: dont seek validation through sex, especially if you haven't validated yourself already. Sex is probably the one thing you should go into with an open mind, and never force yourself to be someone tou aren't yo prove yourself or be someone.
Also, I thank you for your story. I feel like I could easily be lumped in with the blonde twinks... And for some reason it doesn't sit well with me? Not saying being a bottom is a bad thing, but.... I hope people don't assume I'm a bottom. I don't bottom unless it's a very specific scenario. I also typically love to take the lead. You can be effeminate and not be a bottom, and the stereotype all twinkish people are bottoms is harmful and creates misunderstandings.
This whole video is a tell of how superficial your understanding of us is. Being a gay man doesn't mean you like drag. It doesn't mean you drink White Claws. Doesn't mean you go to underwear parties or have a Grindr profile. It's about being a MALE attracted to other MALES.
I never cared for my looks. I wore what was comfortable at the time, I was probably this artsy nerdy kid who only wore slim "cool' hoodies and sweatpants and kept their hair open. I didn't get much attention, if anything I got bullied over it, so after I moved schools and grew up a little I started to style my hair just a little bit. I wore make up only once. At home, when my sisters kept pressign me for it. I didn't like how I looked, I looked even more like a stranger. Then I was willing to wear a slim black dress for a school disco. I don't remember getting attention about that either, but I remember I felt very uncomfortable. Like I was half naked in a public area. After that I never wore dresses again. I still wear graphic artsy hoodies sometimes but I'm trying to lean towards more neutral and adult'ish style.
I really relate to this! I claimed to like dresses but I felt like I was half naked in public too, still I tried it again over and over until I couldn't take it anymore and I think that's part of why I started to eat more so I would gain pounds just to never wear them or feminine clothes in general ever again, so I should have to lean into more unisex clothes.
Hey, im a lesbian teenager and this video has honestly inspired me. A few years ago i went to my first gsa meeting and had my first panic attack. Ever since then, I have been avoiding queer spaces because of my anxiety around being out, but this helped me realize that community won't just show up one day. "If you sit around waiting for the moment that you're not scared, it'll just never come" was exactly what i needed to hear. Sorry this turned into impromptu therapy lol
I'm a trans guy pre top surgery and I thought it was impossible to be comfortable in a relationship without having top first. less than a month ago I was bored and download tinder to at least make some friends idk and from all the guys I talked there was one that call my attention. i found it later he works in the same place I do and that was super scary cause I was afraid he would out me. So we started dating and kissed until I could't keep it anymore and told him I was trans. He took it well and now we're together. Of couse i'm gonna be more comfortable intimately once I have top surgery but I'm so happy rn with him. What I mean is don't let fear of what might happen stop u. Feel the fear and do it anyways. That's how you get good things in life
I've also had a similar experience! Pre top surgery worked and I am so happy I put myself out there - but it's way easier and more comfortable now (so something to look forward to too!).
@@yourownpersonalhater I agree that if you’re ok with your body there’s no need for surgery but in this case I am not okay with my body and either was Arthur so surgery is probably life changing in this cases
hi, arthur! long time viewer here, thank you as always for putting these videos up. a very important trans man in my life is very sexually confident, and puts a lot of energy towards chatting with and meeting cis men on grindr. which has been great, he’s grown a lot more comfortable in his skin putting himself out there like that. but he struggles a lot/avoids meeting and building friendships with cis gay (or het) men in non-sexual contexts, and doesn’t feel like he’s “one of them” enough to successfully socialize with cis men he’d want to befriend in his everyday life. would be curious to hear your thoughts, though it’s admittedly a very different experience than the one you’ve described.
Yeah that's a great topic! I think friendship insecurity is difficult in a related but different way than romantic/sexual insecurity. I'll make a note about it for a future video!
It's so interesting and helpful to hear that even to someone very extroverted social events can sometimes be a chore. Thanks for sharing your story and good luck with the unboxing!
Yeah it's part of how it took me a while to realize I was extroverted! Meeting new people can still be exhausting for me even if I'd ideally wanna spend 95% of my time surrounded by friends
This was very timely. I'm in the earlier stages of exploring gay male spaces, and it's true that you just have to do it in spite of the fear and intimidation. It's definitely difficult, but it's been such a positive thing for me to do that, I'm really glad that I pushed myself. Also, the surreality of people just looking at you and identifying you as a guy, and that shift from having to explain your identity to people just correctly inferring your identity is definitely odd at first. Great, but definitely a through the looking glass kind of moment.
You’re an inspiration for happiness. I’m going to pride this weekend, even though I don’t know anyone going to pride! I just wanna meet some people who, you know, would go to pride 😂 it’s a little scary!
