Just want to tell you this... I'm sick of everything, I'm sick of politics, I'm sick of wars, I'm sick of my father, he can't control his damn aggression I'm sick of constant obscenities in my and my mother's direction, when he's not in the mood, he's more like a wild beast screaming at everything and everything... Because of this, during quarrels, I constantly bang my head against the wardrobe, hit myself on the head and face with my fist, or bite my wrists hard... Yes, sometimes he gives advice... But, this does not cover what he said and I just want a different father... Or just be anything but a child in this family I forgot to add, I have a pretty good relationship with my mother, and at least this is my ray of light

⭐ Timestaps! ⭐ 0:00 - 2:40 i threw a rock off a overpass and killed a guy - sign crushes mototrist ⭐ 2:41 - 4:50 Death music? - Nikita Kryukov ⭐ 4:53 - 6:32 void__19###-c - No love in the house of gold ⭐ 6:34 - 8:03 The descent - Infinity frequencies ⭐ 8:05 - 9:30 Implanted memories - Infinity Frequencies ⭐ 9:32 - 12:52 Space 2 - Unworn ⭐ 12:54 - 14:32 Old Memory - Potato-g ⭐ 14:36 - 17:23 Missed Call - Wiktor Stribog ⭐ 17:24 - 19:50 VOCALOID UTOPIA - dennokop ⭐ 19:51 - 20:44 Daisy - Strange U, Doctor Zygote, King Kashmere ⭐ 20:45 - 23:26 Run Rabbit Run - Flanagan & Allen ⭐ 23:30 - 27: 29 Fighter- Jack Stauber´s Micropop ⭐ 27:30 - 30:35 There´s Something Happening - Jack Stauber´s Micropop ⭐ 30:36 - 32:10 People eater - Sodikken ⭐ 32:12 - 33:15 Misery Meat - Sodikken ⭐ 33:16 - 35:56 you not the same (Slowed down version) - Tilekid ⭐ 35:57 - 38:47 I Think Ill Loose My Mind In Hysteria - Shokaii ⭐ 38:48 - 41:44 Homage - Mild High Club ⭐ 41:45 - 45:13 Cooking on flowers - Fox Academy ⭐ 45:14 - 48:30 Blondie - Current Joys ⭐ 48:31 - 51:38 Back to the old house - 2011 remastered - The Smiths ⭐ 51:39 - 55:12 Heart To Heart - Mac DeMarco ⭐ 55:13 - 58:46 Heaven Knows Im Miserable Now - 2011 remastered - The Smiths ⭐ 58:48 - 1:00:22 - Me and the Birds - Duster ⭐ 1:00:23 - 1:03:22 - well meet again - Vera Lynn ⭐ 1:03:23 - 1:06:45 Still life - Sircom ⭐ 1:06:46 - 1:08:18 Estrager - Jack Staubers Micropop ⭐ 1:08:19 - 1:10:00 Think Of Me Once In A While, Take Care -Take Care ⭐ 1:10:01 - 1:11:40 i was only temporary - my head is empty ⭐ 1:11:42 - 1:12:28 Mg1 - Machine Girl ⭐ 1:12:29 - 1:17:26 Baby hotline - Jack Staubers Micropop ⭐ These are timestamps for anyone who needs them!!!! ❤:)

I subscribed cuz I loved your content. Weirdcore is something that speaks to me

know who you are, a very special person who deserves everything good in life, and who is loved much more than you think. No matter what you do you will always be a precious being with endless value ❤

As a 10 year old who 'was' always "smart" "perfect" "pretty" yeah no i didn't have a perfect childhood no one does a little thing could happen in your life and it may not seem like a big deal to them but to you it is a big deal like a D- on my report card it caught my by surprise when i saw that because I've never gotten one before. I just felt stupid...so stupid just one small thing could ruin you..its always the "you'll be fine" "we're not mad at you" but then the restless nights, sleeping in class, crying randomly, zoning out,even more bad grades, 22 missing assignments, see how much one D- did? One thing can ruin everything, then looking at your friends thinking you're not pretty enough, people always say "you're very mature for your age" but why are we so mature? We've seen so much stuff that it made us this way, bed rotting, on the phone, crying in your mother's shoulder thinking of how many bad things you've done...then you look at the food..its so good but you dont wanna eat it..its like looking at something you know its good but you dont want it.. im so sorry if im writing so much im just venting so much right now :'( (taking cough drops and a bunch of medicine:3 )

my father played the piano. he doesnt anymore, but i can get him to play a song for me every once in a while. whenever he does play, he plays "cristofori's dream" or something like that. i forget who wrote it. ive taught myself how to play it just like how he taught himself by watching his mother play it. i havent seen him for a month. i dont see him more than three days a month usually. i never stay at his house for a full day. last time i saw him, he said he'll leave me because he doesnt think i need him. i dont see him very much anyways so what difference does it make if he were to leave me? thats what he said. im not sure what he means by leaving me, but he cant leave me yet. we havent had our bi-monthly chess match; who will play chess with me? i havent heard him play the piano in so long, how am i supposed to learn cristifori's dream?

Hi so I dont rlly feel comfortable venting usually but I wanna see if anyone sees this. Im starting to feel as if I have npd or bpd bc of my behavior and i dont know if I should tell anyone bc if i tell my mom shes gonna say im being dramatic and I hate my dad because he abused me as a kid Thats rlly it, im not in the mood to type

There’s not much of anything I feel inclined to do about anything ever, im averse to anything at all that takes effort lol, I feel like it’s a necessity to dive to the bottom of the lake like the muskrat who dove to the earth for sky woman and all im apt for or care to do is pet the surface of the water

Everyone knew I was different but me. I was called weird, told not to do certain things, made fun of for my special interests, and I genuinely didn't know. I was passed along from friend group to friend group, kept around because I was smart and could do group projects, but they always got sick of me and tossed me aside. I didn't even notice that I was ostracized until I got diagnosed with autism at 15, and now I struggle to believe anyone would want to be my friend. I've been abandoned by so many people, irl and online, I have waking nightmares where everyone leaves me. I don't know if this count as trauma, but I am so scared to talk to new people I keep everyone at arms length so they can't leave me. I made the mistake again and let someone in, and he's beginning to disappear just like everyone else. I wish I could be normal

As soon as i open the video Today, i wanted to eat, a croissant CROISSANT! So i went to the store to buy, a croissant CROISSANT! And i arrived at the store and bought, a croissant CROISSANT! And arrived back home with, my croissant CROISSANT! And i ate, the croissant. CROISSANT! I hope this comment lightened up your mood whoever you are. You are a good person and you are loved. You are needed and important. Your emotions do not define you, they only show how you are feeling. Emotions are natural. Everything will be okay.

its been a year. i’ve been getting better, but its been horrible as of recently. i relapsed 3 days after the most recent one, the time before that had a gap of 5 months. my body dysmorphia gotten worse, ive been borderline starving myself. everything has became hell from what it was just 4 weeks ago. no one cares, and i have no one to run to. i simply try to cope with music; it doesnt work any more.

My grandpa died when i was only 6 years old i Miss him really badly the day i went to school was okay but now its hell i used to have a Ukraine friend By my side all the time Sometimes Things would Go wrong bettween me and my friend but i didn't Care and allways Said sorry one day He moved He allways came late to Our class and now hes in another school we befriended ourselfs on roblox but i Just wanna Actually See him i don't want to be alone anymore getting allways into fights and Being the one to blame....

cringe

i don’t think that whatever went wrong with me couldn’t be considered as ”trauma” but then again my sister was given therapy and i was not, so it problably means it didn’t count as trauma. Maybe she just showed more physical signs of struggling? I really don’t know, but surely my parents would’ve given me the option for therapy if they deemed the events of my childhood traumatic in any way, right?

My cousin did a bad thing to me when he locked himself in the bathroom with me. In my opinion, it's been 9 or 10 years. I do not know if it affected my current condition, but it was bad

My favorite 54:40 because it can be my Birthday song

22:12 OMORI IS REAL

You know, I guess yourself really is your biggest enemy

i see all these comments and i worry everyday that im getting worse but not worse enough to be worthy of notice

Damn I guess I am overreacting, y’all went through hell

Why is this so true. I don't tell my mum because I'm scared she will get angry and say I'm just overreacting and/or being dramatic!

I have trauma that can be a single can or the entire landfill. Something something black sheep should have been sacrificed. To be continued.

i never do this but i’m so tired i’ll try it. my parents divorced when i was 7. my stepfather was already in the scene cause he was a college friend of my mom. well, it happened. for three years, and she who was once abused as well became the enabler she knows about it she made a choice, it was not me maybe it was not him as well, but it was not me. when i was 14 i started dating a 24 man and when i was 17 a 28 one. she blamed me latter when them both relationships ended with me in pieces. i was raped more than once and she blame me. man i’m still fucking 19 years old . i’m almost graduating college now and trying to break the cycle. life is what it is right? i’m still trying to figure out what to do, i learned in a early age that sometimes absolutely no one will give a single fuck about you so you will have to push it through, endure, survive. so i’m doing it till this day and i hope everyone here or you who took your time to read my history make it :) we deserve to be happy, we do recover.

It's those of us who dont speak. That have seen the truly unspeakable. Peace be with you from now on fellow traveler. From a fellow struggling stranger. See you in the next life kind soul.

That feeling of craving affection but getting tired of the people around you

thank you. i've been through a lot. in grade -, we were telling the scores to the teacher. (We were doing an activity and we check it ourselves then tell what score we got to the teacher.) i said my score, and our teacher said "Whoops! You didn't say "Ma'am." Automatic zero!" i am sensitive and even just that from a teacher hurts me a lot. its like she stabbed me right in the heart. i wanted to get a high score. because what will my mom think? what if i don't pass this grade? what will mom think of me? if she tells anybody, what will they think? i cried. so hard. just because of that. im the type of person who will sacrifice my own health just to go to school, even though i dont want to go. (Probably because my mom will be very mad at me if im absent.) anyway, later that day i went to sleep as usual. but oh, guess what, i was shivering, still traumatized. she said that to me in a very rude tone. if people criticize me, i dont care. but if it's teachers? it just shatters my heart into pieces. (yes i know its not a clear explanation) i was cold, shivering all over the place, i hated it there. i hated it. *I never wanted to go back.* and so i went absent. 2 days.. my mom transferred me back to my old school where i was originally there. (she transferred me to a new school since the old school was now far away from our new house.) and i dont regret it, i love my old school more. never traumatized me. (I might delete this comment just a little vent tho </3 im very sensitive when it comes to teachers criticizing me, might delete this later)

16:02 u know they won’t answer but ur still waiting u still have hope

I really do not know if this is trauma or anything but I know it wasn’t right for someone to do this to me and I lost a lot of happiness from it because of *HIM* So I was playing Roblox about when I have nine and I was trolling other people with BTools and all, when I finished that because I got bored and I was just going over to see other people roplay and this person said something like “‘grabs’” do I roplay with it so yeah. Till I got to a coffee shop and he said something like “Ilu” twice. After that a friend of mine came and I guess he was trying to save me I guess? After that on the next day I saw that one person that said “Ilu” two times and I just watch and watch till he went off, like after like a month later people were starting to backshot me and I just ignored it because idk what they were doing. (Age 10) I got curious one day so I did it once and I found it funny, after that like in 2 or 3 weeks this person came to me and friended me and I accidentally click “accept” on Roblox. At first he left when I accepted it, next day he was just being with me, kinda being nice I guess till he started to backshot me and ofc I ignored it and next day I started to do that weird rp thing, I hated it but still did it…. Some time later he was asking me stuff like my RU-vid channel and all and I told him because I didn’t make much thought of it. And he was asking me to make [censer]34 stuff, I did what he told me and I did, he tried to make me like it but I didn’t I just never told him that I didn’t like doing it because I always thought that is I said something like “no” I thought that I would make that one person feel bad at hate me. He also made me do inappropriate stuff to him, he was also doing inappropriate stuff to me. He made me suck his [censer]. :( I never enjoyed that at all. I never did but I did what he told me to do. I was also getting really tired because how much time I was on my phone just for him, I was also failing reading tests, and think bad about myself, like I always thought of myself Dieing from something. (Age 11) he started to not do much to me but he still did bad stuff to me, I just hated and hated and hated him more and more till on April first I was doing a plan to get rid of him. So on April 27-28 I got information that he was being bad, and put something out to tell others to report him and him to ignore me. I unfriended him and blocked him on Roblox. So I stayed off of Roblox and stay on RU-vid longer. It did help me heal from being a weirdo and stay kinda normal, but it didn’t heal my happiness, I was sad how much hate was going on and how our world became. I was actually crying in school because our world became now. I was starting to cut myself. I only did it once because I was wanting to feel pain on that one day. And I feel like I want to do it more…. I feel like I want to die but also not. I have reasons. Why I think I should not: friends help me not to think of me not Dying: cats,BFDI,Sprunki,music,family,dog,nice furries,therians,and supporters. Reasons why I think I should die: who I am,being a furry, liking things that I should not like, the feeling that I will get more and more haters each day,hate in our world,how I think,and hating myself…. I wish I can help myself without anyone but I can’t, I don’t like to talk to anyone new.

why did i tear up listening to this i shouldnt cry. i really shouldnt, it makes me feel more pathetic anyways great playlist while i cry midway while doing my projects without sleeping and oh look i forgot to drink water or eat.

Vro please keep making more of these playlists they really help me fall asleep at night and are overall really nice to listen too 🫶

Drawing vent art while listening to this

People often say that I don't have big issues because I'm 11, but maybe their right sometimes. I've been s@'D twice without consent, and with me not knowing what it was, first one was by my friend when we were 6, and the second one was when I was 9/10 with another friend. I've been sh (s3xu2lly h2rrased) by a 23-year-old man who was recording me and 'secretly' complimenting by body for looking so feminine (I'm Transmac btw) and one by a 73-year-old man who called me a 'young-fine-lady' and said VERY weird things about his granddaughter. Also, when I was 8, I almost drowned and my mom and her friend said I was fine, I couldn't sleep for at least 5 days at most. Am I looking for attention? Am I dramatic? Why do I miss them? Why do I miss my mental abuser who used me as someone to keep her un-bored and play around with? Why was she never there for me? Where did my other friend go? I miss them. Why? I don't know.

I feel horrible... I was watching a movie in a website and i am 12... and I saw this one ad and it was straight up disgusting... I feel trauma coming because my uncle used to show me porn and it give me flashbacks and i feel like i wanna rip off my skin and throw up,.. this is why i have hypersexual... i hate everything i hate myself.. i wish to be an innocent kid who never knew about how babies are made.. or porn... i just wanna be innocent and pure... everything in this world is sexual and disgusting why does it have to be me that sees it.. i hate my trauma.. getting SA getting almost r@pe i hate everything.

The screaming in the first song got me dear lord-

Best Study music <3

ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL PLAYLIST FROM YOU!!! THANK YOUUUUUUUU

Trauma-core playlists always make me feel better

Omori and Yume Nikki in this playlist>>>>>

Dear stranger, As I observe the world around me, I am struck by the extraordinary beauty that radiates from your spirit, casting a gentle glow that warms even the coldest of moments. Your compassion and kindness seem to ripple through the lives of those fortunate enough to cross your path. I want to take a moment to acknowledge the immense challenges and struggles you have faced; I can only imagine the weight they bear on your heart. You are truly worthy of profound love and unwavering support. I hold onto the hope that you will discover the inner strength to navigate through these turbulent times, ultimately finding a path toward swift and complete recovery. The world, in all its complexity, is undeniably enriched by your presence, and I eagerly look forward to the day when you are restored, thriving, and sharing your light with the world once more. Don't leave the world, I am proud and care for you. With warm regards, Anonymous

My trauma is deep but I feel driven to be the gentleness that I never had for others and myself. It never made me kind. I just choose to be kind because I can’t let all the innocent in this world suffer anymore than they already have.

To any parents here, don’t just tell your children you love them. Hold them. Play catch with your son, braid your daughter’s hair. Leave them notes in their lunch boxes. Take them fishing. Cuddle up on the couch. And, please, please listen to them, or they will become a stranger like I did.

Gosh,i feel so tired. Im tired of this. I don’t know what,but something’s very wrong with me. I talk to myself,i eat stuff that can’t be eaten,i barely sleep,i bite myself when im angry to the point of ripping my own skin and bruising,im very dull on the outside but on the inside,im fighting for my life against whatever i could have. The only thing that comforts me is my imagination and sh,I barely feel anything but at the same time im so full of emotions. I feel like im going to pass out in school,it’s nauseating to be in there and talk with so called M person who just makes me more insecure about myself and I can’t bring myself to respond. Im scared of hurting people,im scared of people in general. I want to end it all so bad. But I can’t,im too weak. I wish I knew,how does it feel to live like a normal person. How does it feel to want to go to school? How does it feel to want to live? How does parent love feel? How does it feel to actually want to do something…how does life feel… i forgot. It’s been three years since it started,and since then i feel like a rogue,away and different from my classmates and people in general. I might just go and hang myself soon. I can’t cope.

Please I really WANT you to feel better 😊 read this and let me be your hope ♥️ Your feelings are shared with every person in the world, everyone is hurt in their way, everyone can relate to anyone in some way. And think that, Living is always worth, is not the worst or the best thing that can happen to you, it is the only THING that CAN happen to you. Traverse this jungle and know that everything is there to make you stronger. You are strong, I know it, keep going.

There are many protectors in this life, me included. Don't y'all forget that the next time y'all feel no one in life cares

Finally an actual playlist that isn't just hyperpop mixed with classic songs in every playlist. this one really makes me feel like I'm walking through faded memories in between time.

"So with all sincerity, there is no body who I can blame but myself... I'm fine with that." That's what I want to say and that's the shield I always use. No matter how many time I cave my skull in, the memories of my countless failed attempts still haunt. I don't even remember why, I just know I did multiple time and that it is consuming me. Slowly but surely, I'm feeling like corpse; far past their experiention date now that I am 18. then again, who do I blame for getting addicted to the pain? Who do I blame for consistantly reminding me of my inherent lack of value? All of that was a coping mechanism and it all catches up to making me simply unstable for others to rely on, for others to depend on. My bipolar was only the aftermath and other possible brain defiect afterwards. One day, I will pop the last champaine bottle at my birthday. So with all sincerity, there is no body who I can blame but myself. I'm fine with that.

his touch was filled with quills and made me flinch.

i do want to vent, but it's early, and it might take a while... i will vent a lot, could someone send a reply or something in 4h? it will be midnight so my dad will be asleep... at least i can write everything without him coming at anytime :)

I was incredibly sick as a toddler, and if have no memory of any of it. Not a single doctors trip. Not a single day of that year and a half, but every other aspect of my life after that, and a little bit before, is so bright. I faced one of my first wounds since this Friday, and am only realizing now how truly traumatized I am by doctors. I’m afraid to let them touch me at all, I am in so much pain that I’d rather melt into the pain than feel another sting.

i feel like my life is threatening a downward spiral again. I hate being schizophrenic. Delusions are terrible and the memory of them with a cleared and "recovered" mind taunts me and brings me great distress. I thought my dead friend was lingering around me, but not necessarily in a bad way. it hurts when i think about her. i wish i knew her better before she passed I couldn't stop crying at her funeral. it hurt so much. i wish she never had to suffer like she did. i hope she felt atleast some comfort in her last moments. I uhm Paranoia is really bad too im so scared of something catastropic happening in the world I miss my best friend,i know ill see him in just a little under 3 hours he's so nice to me i like it when he holds me or holds my hand and kisses me he's so nice to me i love him dearly i fear sometimes that i will do somethign wrong and wreck it and we'll never talk again. i think if that happened id be in a severe amount of hurt. i try not to think about that.