“Things will get better…” ^|A trauma coping playlist|^ 

Next playlist will have time stamps, thanks to @WowAPotato and @RennTheTurtleMann for providing the time stamps for this video I am extremely grateful for the effort and time that went into creating the time stamps!!! ❤🫂💕

To any parents here, don’t just tell your children you love them. Hold them. Play catch with your son, braid your daughter’s hair. Leave them notes in their lunch boxes. Take them fishing. Cuddle up on the couch. And, please, please listen to them, or they will become a stranger like I did.

"things will get better" its been 5 years since i heard this phrase and things never got better.

YOU SCARED ME I THOUGHT THE FIRST SONG WAS FINAL DUET, IM ABT TO CRY

I have been through a lot of childhood trauma. I was isolated when i was a child and have so many issues with my father. These playlists make me relive my childhood the way I should of had it. I appreciate these playlist, it gives me so much comfort knowing that other people understand what I went through. Its sad that i am more open about my trauma on the internet than my family. they just get so uncomfortable so I stopped opening uo.

My, my. So many poor souls with terrible experiences. No child or person in general should ever go through this. This is terrible. I hope you all have a healthy recovery. I love you all, just remember that

Dear stranger, As I observe the world around me, I am struck by the extraordinary beauty that radiates from your spirit, casting a gentle glow that warms even the coldest of moments. Your compassion and kindness seem to ripple through the lives of those fortunate enough to cross your path. I want to take a moment to acknowledge the immense challenges and struggles you have faced; I can only imagine the weight they bear on your heart. You are truly worthy of profound love and unwavering support. I hold onto the hope that you will discover the inner strength to navigate through these turbulent times, ultimately finding a path toward swift and complete recovery. The world, in all its complexity, is undeniably enriched by your presence, and I eagerly look forward to the day when you are restored, thriving, and sharing your light with the world once more. Don't leave the world, I am proud and care for you. With warm regards, Anonymous

So many people are here sharing their stories. I wish I could go back in time and just protect them all and keep them safe forever.

I was so “privileged” They Said, growing up. Getting gifts and money meant that no matter how little attention I got, I’d always be fine. Unrestricted internet access leading to being desensitized to g0r3 unwillingly ,growing addicted to sh at the ripe age of 7, and getting into online abusive relationships. Due to suspected neurodivergency, I got bullied all of middle school by people pretending to be my friend for years, and because that was practically the only social interaction I got during that time, I pushed everyone out and still sometimes close myself off to everyone including my close friends thinking that everyone was faking it. That nothing was real. I’m still a cynical nihilist and have zero hopes and dreams. I’m in Highschool and only recently learned that what I went through was trauma by definition and from a psychiatrist. I never knew that existed because everyone always described my life as privileged. But you know, music helps a lot. So thank you for this so I can get my jig on instead of thinking about reality‼️

That feeling of craving affection but getting tired of the people around you

i apologize for venting in the comments. trigger warning: s*lf harm when i was about 9 years old, i began hurting myself by slamming my head against lockers and hard objects. i didn't understand why i did such actions, but as i grew older and older, the urge to inflict more harm grew as i turned 10 years old. i began seeking ways to make myself either bruised or bleed even from the slightest blunt/sharp object i could find. i reached middle school, a school that wasn't great. there were a lot of people who made fun of someone for doing something that was deemed weird or strange to other people. it was normalized. my art class had box cutters, and since i sat behind the class, i picked up the box cutters and began the usual thing ive been doing since childhood. it got so addictive to the point i became obsessed over harming myself. for every wrong thing i did, i'd pick up a knife or something that can scratch my skin and scar. it felt good. something to release my mind from the stress. it's better than having to relive a memory you've blocked from your childhood years that have scarred you. i hope one day i make a slip-up and cut an artery and die peacefully. and pray that my partner doesn't find out.

You get so totally all of my respect for the discalimer in the beginning, that traumacore is not an aethestic and actually something people need to live with

( Every single timestamp, genuinely took me so long, enjoy :D) 0:13 ~ Nocturne In E-Flat major - Frédéric Chopin, Bo 1:06 ~ We see you opal - Jack Stauber, Adult Swim Smalls 1:46 ~ Hi - Temporex 2:56 ~ 迷子の廃園 - Kikuo / Maigo no haien 3:56 ~ Warm Nights - Xori 5:37 ~ Snow World - yume nikki ost 6:34 ~ Clair de lune remix - Will Borders 8:20 ~ Lost Library - Omori 9:36 ~ Deep Swim - Windows96 13:14 ~ The Waltz You Saved For Me - Wayne King and His Orchestra 16:21 ~ Dial Tone - Toby Fox 17:06 ~ ゆめのはじまり - Kikiyama / Start of YUMENIKKI 18:06 ~ Cruel - Mercy Necromancy 20:26 ~ It's all in your head - Dandelion Hands 22:08 ~ White Space - Omori 22:51 ~ Ash (Instrumental) - Boys Age 23:57 ~ Placid Waltz - Reece Moseley 25:40 ~ Playing Forever - Omori 27:23 ~ Wave of regret - carrot113 29:00 ~ Memoir #2 - May Roosvelt 29:42 ~ Save screen (ゆめにっき) - yume nikki ost 30:42 ~ Tonight you belong to me (1956 version) - Patience and Prudence 32:34 ~ A Burning Memory - Reece Moseley 33:59 ~ you smell of dead flowers - vslush 35:37 ~ The Lobotomy - Maebi 36:45 ~ Trauma - Maebi 38:01 ~ Answering Machine - Ruby Haunt 43:09 ~ A faint signal - Infinity frequencies 44:59 ~ Bumblebees are out - Jack Stauber 45:31 ~ Numbers - Temporex 47:37 ~ We don't have many days - The Caretaker 51:08 ~ All that follows is true - The Caretaker 54:40 ~ Lullaby Waltz - Fnaf 2/Music Box 55:31 ~ 64 little white things - Cake Bake Betty 57:36 ~ Baby Hotline - Jack Stauber 1:02:27 ~ Body Terror Song - AJJ 1:05:06 ~ Misery Meat - Sodikken 1:06:10 ~ Browser history - Graham Kartna 1:08:31 ~ Strawberry Guy - Mrs Magic 1:11:59 ~ Bubblegun - Jack Stauber 1:12:57 ~ School Rooftop - hisohkah 1:14:21 ~ Memo Boy - Brian is the most beautiful I've seen a lot of people ask "What song is this?" So for your answer, here you go I'm helping you ( Credits to RennTheTurtleMann for original timestamps for the first few!! ) Also in the description there is a Spotify playlist with some of the songs C:

Usually I feel weird about venting on a playlist from years ago But now I don't feel weird and late!1!1!1 Alrighty, I don't wanna get all personal or anything, so here's this: When I was a kid (7-10), my parents refused to let me go outside unless I cleaned my room. Me being the stubborn child I was, I didn't listen to them and just stayed inside. Once I had moved houses (10-12), I started becoming really depressed. I'd go longer without sleep, I was always quiet and tired (physically, emotionally), I barely ate on the weekends. Even when given the chance to go out somewhere nice and eat something, I refused to go outside. I then became more and more "addicted" to my devices, interacting less with my family. My depression and suicidal thoughts began in Autumn, it ended when it became Spring. And now it's Fall again, everything feels meaningless and I don't wanna socialize much. This is when I realized that I might have seasonal depression. But I'm doing alright ^_^ (for now lol)

I actually like how you added that its not an aesthetic bc some people thing it is

Gosh, this is one of my favorite playlists. I had a lot of traumas and needs as a kid. I was always alone at recess and was constantly bullied at school. In addition, I have a narcissistic mother and a philandering father. At the age of seven, I was already doing housework, taking care of my sister and feeding my mother in bed while she watched her social media twenty-four hours a day (she did nothing and pretended to be depressed). This playlist makes me remember the few good times I've had and makes me forget that I'm not educated. I haven't studied for four years and I feel like an ignoramus. I've always wanted to live like in American movies: a happy and hardworking father, a loving and homely mother, me studying and getting the best grades, a big and clean house, and always having a new year and a happy birthday (I'm only 16)

Vent? I'm not passing that down! ^^ is anyone else out there hiding every bit of emotion, craving comfort, terrified of other people to the point your now realizing you've been making yourself the "dangerous" kid just to protect yourself from your own mindset? Also realizing you've hurt so many other just out of fear but everyone else just sees you doing that because you wanna be "cool" or "I'm not like others"? Yeah me too, hope you get better.

My friends hate me, getting bullied gatting called names crying in school telling my friends its really nothing even though its not. *its all makes sense now…*

I love this sm but I NEED TIMESTAMPS 😭😭😭

WAS NOT EXPECTING OPAL AS THE SECOND SONG HOLY HELL

I don't think I have any trauma(?) But these playlists are as comforting as when I slept between my parents as a little kid. I relate to this, but also kind of don't? . . . what is happening

each day just feels like its getting worse, I don't know what to do anymore, and I'm afraid of what I might do

Just wanted to say.. I'm proud of you when you wake up I'm proud of you when you brush your hair I'm proud of you when you smile I'm proud of you when you don't overthink I'm proud of you when you don't say your ugly I'm proud of you when you don't say your fat I'm proud of you when you clean your self I'm proud of you when you don't self-harm I'm not proud of you when you don't wake up I'm not proud of you when you don't brush your hair I'm not proud of you when you don't smile I'm not proud of you when you overthink I'm not proud of you when you say your ugly I'm not proud of you when you say your fat I'm not proud of you when you don't clean your self I'm not proud of you when you self-harm Stay happy my friend, i love you

Timestamps because ive seen people in these comments asking for songs :3 (i'll update as i find out what each song is, ? means i'm not 100% sure also feel free to reoly with any songs and timestamps you know of :D) 0:14 - Nocturne in E-flat major (?) 1:06 - We see you opal - Jack stauber Adult Swim 1:46 - Hi - Temporex 2:55 - 迷子の廃園 - Kikuo (Maigo No Haien - Kikuo) 3:56 - Warm Nights - Xori 5:37 snow world - yume nikki ost (Thanks to debesteflower for this one) 6:34 Clair de lune remix - Will Borders 8:20 Lost Library - omori

I mean, Everything is okay? but I cant help but feel like its all going to fall apart soon. I feel so dumb no matter what, when I dont worry about the future, i feel reckless, and when I do, I feel like i am overthinking and preventing myself from enjoying the moment Everything and anything seems to be working in harmony to ruin everythihg, even the good moments feel like they're to distract me from real problems. Im too paranoic, i know it, and I hate it, but I just simply cant stop doing it, fear is the only thing that ever drives me forward, not ever hope or happiness, always just fear, fear of the tomorrow, fear of the consequences, fear of how other people may act and think, when I stop to look at any aspect of my life, i will always find it to be deeply rooted in paranoia and angst. I guess, I just kind of wish I could have been born a little better so things didnt need to be like this.

Omori mentioned yaaaaaayyyyyyyyy🎉🎉🎉 This comforts me in such a weird way I dunno, I’m not feeling good rn I’m tempted to do something I shouldn’t. That’s such a nice playlist, tyyy!!!

10:01 you have no idea how long ive been trying to find this song. THREE YEARS!! Thank you so much, this song means so much to me i was so upset when i lost it!

I love calming music even if they relate to sad or ventful things, just gives it more meaning! remember you are loved, I don't who you are but that's the best thing in here I don't get to judge :) stay safe! I know people don't have the same mentality and others may not understand you the way you do but the best to do is not take yourself away from people, it's best to help them understand than say you don't understand, it's hard to talk but there's always people willing to listen very hard to find but if you really wanna be happy then don't give up! keep lookin'!

You know? I was a happy child. I have best parents ever. I have everything. And that's why I always feel like my problems are not valid. I've always thougt there was something wrong with me as a kid. I was too emotional, I always felt like I don't fit in, always felt like no kid wanted to be friends with me, always felt like other kids had something that I don't. Always had problems with communication. Always felt like I am worse than anyone. And no one understood me. That's my main trauma I guess. Then, there was the next thing. When I was 9, my cousin kind of... touched me in a not really appropriate way. I didn't understand what happened as a kid, but now I am so disgusted, especially when I see him... I wish I could tell my family, but I can't. And there are so many things I want to tell my parents. And they are so understanding and kind, but... You know? They just ignore some things. For example, when I say that I am insecure or anxious, the'd always say "just don't be like that". Sometimes I just want them to hug me and tell me that they are proud of me. Sometimes I wish they could accept my negative emotions, too. But I always feel guilty for these emotions, because I love my parents and I don't want them to feel like they were not enough. Having so much guilt inside you is so hard sometimes... Uh, yeah, this was very random tbh. By the way, the playlist is very cool, good job! I like it a lot

i dont know if i have trauma but i used to self harm and had negative childhood expriences. i have ocd and sensory issues. not diagnosed with adhd but my therapist said i probably have it too so ugh. ill just yap in this comment such a nice playlist heheh. and started to take meds but i dont want to. im scared ill be less clean like my parents. i really feel like i should wash my hands four times after touching something bad. i hate it when my feet touch the floor. i HAVE to wear socks all the time. the ground is never clean enough. i will never be clean enough and i know it. we are all dirty. i feel dirty in shower, after shower, in school. i dont like it when my friends touch my arms because their hands are probably not even that clean but i dont say anything when they do because if i do so then ill look like a clean freak. like i am. no yk what im normal. i just care about hygine more other people do. maybe i dont even have ocd and dont need meds. now i sound crazy. why is it so hard to exist? i wish i wasnt human but lmao thatd be so nasty animals are literally so dirty id be crying all the time

I just ran into this and decided to click on it, no story here. This is both calming, sad, and unsettling at the same time, like you accidentally phased through a wall and ended up in a world of mysterious and creepy wonders... I find it pretty interesting you included 2 of the caretaker's EATEOT songs (EATEOT is "Everywhere at the end of time" and was made to encapsulate the feeling of your brain slowly deteriorating and trying to remember the olden days as dementia takes over.)

I don’t know if I can even classify my shit as trauma bc idk if it traumatized me, like idk how to explain it. I know what happened to me was fucked and it really fucked me up as a kid and sometimes I still think about it and it sucks but it doesn’t affect my daily life like it isn’t “I can’t do anything I feel so bad” it’s more of I just feel like “I feel like shit and I want to die but I’m not gonna bc that would suck so I’ll just deal with it”. I act like a child now, and I don’t know how to stop. I remember as a kid I was allowed childish things, I was allowed to be that kid, but I didn’t. I don’t know, I felt weird as a kid. I remember for a few years (7-10) or something, me and a cousin would get gross and sexual. I never really wanted to do it, but he always made me feel like if I didn’t he’d feel bad. And he’d get all upset and I felt like I had to do it with him. So I sort of just always did. It wasn’t as bad as a lot of peoples SA’s, it was just something I chose to do so he wouldn’t feel bad. Like I know it was bad, but it’s my fault. I’m the one who did it so I don’t think I even have the right to feel bad. Anyway, I remember feeling disgustingly “grown up”. Like I was “too mature” to be a kid, so I was always in that mindset of “I’m not a kid. You don’t get to be childish”. I think part of it was probably because of the shit I did with that cousin. I don’t know. But now that I’m older, I can’t stop myself from acting like a little kid. I’m immature, I’m hyper fixated on dumb fucking cartoons and kids shows, I can’t even watch shows that have sexual themes because it makes me feel “grown up”. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but whenever I think back on it I get shaky. Idk why I’m even venting in a comment section, I never do, but idk I guess I just need a place to put the things in my head. Sorry I’m writing so much, I doubt anyone will even read it. But anyway I might as well continue; I have this one very distinct memory of my dad hitting me. Just the one time, he never did it before and he never did it after. I can’t even remember what it was about, but I remember getting hit and sent to my room. I probably deserved it, I used to argue with my mom a lot as a kid so it’s probably about that. He never beat me or anything, he wasn’t physically abusive, but he hit me that one time. It’s not even abuse really, but idk it just makes me feel weird inside when I think back on it. I know I’m just being overly sensitive but it’s true. This doesn’t even count as trauma, but my family used to constantly fucking argue. My mom got most of it from my dad, he’d yell and yell and be so nasty to her. Sometimes I wished they’d gotten a divorce, for her sake really. Once my brother was older, my dad would shout at him too. Then later at me, and then my grandma once she moved it. See, I live my dad, and he’s not a bad person. B ur I remember hating being around him so fucking much as a kid because he’d make me feel so shitty. He didn’t insult us, he would just be mad. I remember crying to sleep most nights as a kid, I felt like life was never going to be okay. Nobody believes me when I say it; but k remember being like 4 in preschool, and I just hated myself. I hated everything. Sometimes i feel like i still do. I remember being this little girl, (I’m a guy now) and I was always around my big brother and my cousin (same cousin who SA’d me). I remember feeling horrible, I felt like I wasn’t meant to be that little girl. I wanted so badly to be like my brother and cousin, I was a little 5 year old girl and wished I was a boy. Now I’m one now, well not biologically but at least identifying as one. I HATED being a little girl, I hated how I got treated as a girl, I hated how I was so different looking than my brother and cousin. I was a kind of chubby kid, and throughout most of middle school and high school I was too. I fucking hated myself. As a 6 year old kid used to search for weight loss plans and try to do them, then I got an eating disorder in later pre teen to teenage years. My shit wasn’t as bad as a lot of people. I just happened to be miserable. I don’t know, I don’t think I even have the right to feel so bad, but I do. I feel horrible. I still feel like that little girl who wanted so badly to change. I remember my best friend, she was… something. She would introduce me to odd sexual things, I hated it. But more so I felt bad for her. She had it rough, she was a lot like me actually. Like almost the exact same except she didn’t want to be a boy. I still love her actually, we hardly talk, we hardly hangout, we hardly even see each other. But I love her. She was a bitch, but she was always there for me. She was rude and manipulative and made me feel insecure. But I can’t just not love her. She’s different now, she’s much nicer. I don’t love her romantically, but she’s still important to me and I do love her. Sometimes I miss being her best friend, even though we’re so different from each other now. Me and her were inseparably as kids, even though the friendship hurt me and was abusive in more ways that I can count. But she was MY best friend. She was the one thing that got to be shared by me and nobody else. I think a lot of how attached I was to her stemmed from the fact we were both insecure little girls who had kind of rough home lives and got pushed into sexual things. We were almost the same. When we were older, say around 9? We were with another friend. I don’t like to think about this other “friend”. But this other friend forced me and my bsf to do some nasty shit. And for once i didn’t feel like it was my fault. This friend physically forced me and my bsf into sexual situations and actions. I HATED it. I still feel gross sometimes. But for so reason it made me feel like I finally had a valid reason to feel awful, I finally had that moment where I couldn’t escape no matter what. Don’t misunderstand me, I hated that it happened, I hated that it happens to my bsf. But it made me feel like finally it wasn’t all in my head. Maybe I’m just fucked up. I don’t know. It sounds “emo” but maybe I’m just broken. But my childhood just seemed.. weird. It was filled with live from plenty of people, I just didn’t like the way they loved me. Well no, I loved how my brother and mom cared for me, they meant everything to me. But I didn’t like how my dad loved me. He was agressive, he wanted for fix everything for me but instead of just talking to me he’d make it worse. I hated my home life but I hated everything else too. I always wished to go home when I was at school, but whenever I was home I wished it felt like “home”. Sorry for rambling on and on and on for so long. Idc if nobody reads this. My life was as bad as others. I have no right to feel so shitty. But I do.

this helped me feel better after i remembered some memories of the groomer that found me on twitter and how i felt suicidal some months ago that struck me like a truck i feel a little tired from those memories but this music helps me to feel calm thank you for making this

I lost my v-card from rape when I was 12 to my brother :( it really messsed me up for the rest of my life- still does but I've gotten better

AAAAAA You Smell of Dead Flowers referenced AAAAAAAA I typed out a long vent but the page buffered and I lost it :( -The Basis of It I learned about s*x at a young age not because anyone touched me but because I was accused of s*xually a**ulting my little half-sister. I was nine, she was five, and there were a lot of adults around us who did not give a sh*t about the kids they were supposedly 'fighting for custody of'. I was a fairly innocent nine-year-old and my little sister has managed to forget about it, but we're both in therapy now and the long-lasting effects (no touching, no being unsupervised together, no talking about why I hate her side of the family) made it difficult for us to form a connection until now.

0:14 this songs in my dads sleeping playlist what 😭 (also I don’t think I have trauma I just wanted to come to the playlist :))

It's those of us who dont speak. That have seen the truly unspeakable. Peace be with you from now on fellow traveler. From a fellow struggling stranger. See you in the next life kind soul.

I do not have any trauma but to the people who listen to this having trauma I hope you recover from that trauma and live a very fulfilling and happy life. I only listen to this playlist cuz I like the music tbh though I hope thats okay ^⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠^

this makes me feel a bit better about everything that happened, thank you hun

This helped More than i imagined thanks, or idk if helped is the right word but i almost always try to supress my feelings/traumas and when listening to this it helped me realize and remember some things so yeah im grateful

ouch. idk why this just hits. i got into college recently and it just wasnt as great as id expected it to be. ive had trauma w being homeschooled and saw college/my future as a way out but now dk if that will actually make me that happy anymore :,,) idk if anything will at this point...

As a 10 year old who 'was' always "smart" "perfect" "pretty" yeah no i didn't have a perfect childhood no one does a little thing could happen in your life and it may not seem like a big deal to them but to you it is a big deal like a D- on my report card it caught my by surprise when i saw that because I've never gotten one before. I just felt stupid...so stupid just one small thing could ruin you..its always the "you'll be fine" "we're not mad at you" but then the restless nights, sleeping in class, crying randomly, zoning out,even more bad grades, 22 missing assignments, see how much one D- did? One thing can ruin everything, then looking at your friends thinking you're not pretty enough, people always say "you're very mature for your age" but why are we so mature? We've seen so much stuff that it made us this way, bed rotting, on the phone, crying in your mother's shoulder thinking of how many bad things you've done...then you look at the food..its so good but you dont wanna eat it..its like looking at something you know its good but you dont want it.. im so sorry if im writing so much im just venting so much right now :'( (taking cough drops and a bunch of medicine:3 )

I thought I’d hate this but it’s really soothing for some reason…I desperately need and want to vent but I don’t know how to fully open up like that

I know I'm just a little kid and I'm not allowed to go on social medias such as TikTok, but tiktok is one of my coping mechanisms. I've experienced cyber bullying and harassment at school, I lie about my age to prevent cyber bullying in the internet. I can only spend time going at the internet whenever I come back home from school. Sorry if my comment changes topics too much, I'm not good at communicating.

i need more. like srsly this playlist is my lifeline.

Trauma-core playlists always make me feel better

I subscribed cuz I loved your content. Weirdcore is something that speaks to me

He ruined me, but its my fault. I ruined myself. Im sure i ruined him too. I cant feel genuine enthusiasm to live to see college anymore

AMAZING SONGS! Thanks for doing this playlist, currently lying on my bed while I hear it :)

why did i tear up listening to this i shouldnt cry. i really shouldnt, it makes me feel more pathetic anyways great playlist while i cry midway while doing my projects without sleeping and oh look i forgot to drink water or eat.

After my cat died 2 years ago, i fell like not the same happy person. and the war in my country made it worse, i just feel not like i wanted to. im jelaous to people a lot, i always wanna be the first..but i was not like that before. i was happy, happy for others. My cat was the one who made me happy before such things happend. after the expirience how he died on my eyes, it was traumatic..4 days ago i visited his grave, took a panic attack, but now im feel a bit better. Trying to recover myself from his dead even tho its been 2 years, thank you for reading this, im glad people can listen to others.

HEARING OPAL MADE ME JUMP OUT OF MY BODY

Yeah i think things will get better actually. Thanks 4 the playlist

Everyone knew I was different but me. I was called weird, told not to do certain things, made fun of for my special interests, and I genuinely didn't know. I was passed along from friend group to friend group, kept around because I was smart and could do group projects, but they always got sick of me and tossed me aside. I didn't even notice that I was ostracized until I got diagnosed with autism at 15, and now I struggle to believe anyone would want to be my friend. I've been abandoned by so many people, irl and online, I have waking nightmares where everyone leaves me. I don't know if this count as trauma, but I am so scared to talk to new people I keep everyone at arms length so they can't leave me. I made the mistake again and let someone in, and he's beginning to disappear just like everyone else. I wish I could be normal

I just love listening to these, they some reason but me at rest, it feels so relaxing. I had a pretty traumatic childhood, and now I'm pretty much 15 (my bday is Nov. 5th), and the trauma slowed but it didnt stop. I also recently learned something that I went through was truely so much worse that what I knew because I was too young to understand what I survived. I stopped wearing dresses when my 10th birthday hit and honestly I still worry when I wear a cute outfit. Younger me, I'm so sorry. I know you wanted to feel better by now but I just can't.

it has a great storytelling, getting dark trough the songs

i dont usually vent in comment sections but fuck it found this playlist right after seeing a short by clawedbeauty with a pov of slipping into little space and i suddenly just... started crying. something hurt inside me and i yearned for the comfort. i want to slip into little space and have someone hug me and take care of me instead of relying on alters. the few times i slipped into little space around my parents i was yelled at and lectured for something my child mind couldnt understand. and recently a new alter has formed and has been constantly lecturing me about how i need to do better, that alters in the inner world are suffering but didnt want to tell me bc they didnt trust me. even lecturing me about the front room and how "ugly" and "boring" it was which... yeah it is boring, but it was made almost a year ago. ive been wanting to change it for a while now but never really knew *what* to change it to. then add on outside stressors with everything going on in the world and my relationship with my parents constantly being tense. its funny to think about, sometimes. i used to trust my mom so much. id cry when she left and would follow her from room to room talking to her, even when she didnt look at me or, hell, walked into an entirely different room or even went outside. she would always tell me she was listening but i never believed her. my own dad doesnt even remember that im allergic to peanuts even tho ive been allergic my whole life and even the smell of peanut butter makes my throat feel tight. they dont remember things i told them but they expect me to remember what they told me. my mom was reluctant to let me go to my friends house bc my guinea pig that id given to them (i couldnt take care of her any longer) had died and it took me begging and crying for her to let me. we argued for a year straight, every single day, when i came out as trans. i once had a shitty day and asked if we had any news about hormones and she said the appointment was pushed back again and i cried. she told me i was guilt tripping and that it was "part of the bpd" (i dont have bpd). i used to trust her. i used to think to myself "i cant wait to go on a walk so i can tell her about this" or thinking that she was safe to vent to. now every word i say around her is picked carefully. sometimes i wonder if its possible to miss a childhood you never had

Going crazy, sitting on the floor, I'm listening to your lovely playlist, thank you ^^

Oh dearie me the amount of omori fans here (I am one of them). Anyways vent time. For the sake of anonymity, my age is from 14 to 16 My life has been teetering on the edge of being a bad dream to being literal hell since to moment I was born. I've always been on the more depressed side. No matter how good my life gets, it always somehow gets back to me hurting myself. When I was around 7, my older brother tried and succeeded to sexually assault me. He did it a couple times before eventually stopping for a while. he got me addicted to weed. I still struggle with addiction to this day. When I was 9, he sexually assaulted me when I was under the influence. Nothing about it feels real. I have been harming myself since I was 8, I still haven't stopped. I also feel like black sheep in my family. My mom doesn't support me because I am an Atheist and a transman. My dad barely supports me. Pretty much no one calls me my preferred name and the people who do don't use my pronoun (He/They). The whole situation has brought me to the thought of suicide. I don't wanna leave my friends but I really can't live like this.

Just want to tell you this... I'm sick of everything, I'm sick of politics, I'm sick of wars, I'm sick of my father, he can't control his damn aggression I'm sick of constant obscenities in my and my mother's direction, when he's not in the mood, he's more like a wild beast screaming at everything and everything... Because of this, during quarrels, I constantly bang my head against the wardrobe, hit myself on the head and face with my fist, or bite my wrists hard... Yes, sometimes he gives advice... But, this does not cover what he said and I just want a different father... Or just be anything but a child in this family I forgot to add, I have a pretty good relationship with my mother, and at least this is my ray of light

The Opal song is making me cry, I’m going through a lot right now, I self harm and I think I have a problem with being touched now, I was in the shower and I felt the curtain and freaked out, I think it’s the spiders and my uncle scaring me… I’m hiding it from my mom because I don’t want to deal with having a long talk and it not helping me, I was crying in the shower freaking out and when I got out to put my shirt on I started crying and naming things I hate about myself… one thing I’ve had a problem with for years is my body type, I feel too fat and get sad when I hear people talking about plus sized people in a negative way, I make fun of myself too and I have for years, I’ve been wanting to vent to someone about this for months but had no one I felt I could trust that wouldn’t tell my mom…

Not going to go into detail, but I feel like I can't tell if my feelings are valid, and that if my trauma and the things that happened to me are actually trauma, abuse, neglect, etc, or I'm just lying to myself, being entitled, insensitive, and a brat that just doesn't listen to their singular parent.

Well, i just want to join all those people in the comments and say my word too. It's not really about any trauma, but at the moment I'm struggling with depersonalisation and insomnia, and it's hitting pretty bad when you don't feel real and just want to be as far away as possible. It's became hard for me to bear social interactions, i feel bad after every dialogue or just simply being near people. Yet i feel extremely lonely. But it's fine. I'll get through it. And everything will be alright for all of us here. Thank you for this playlist and this little safe place you created, it made me feel a little bit better today 💝

at this point, i'm so confused that i'm not sure if i even had trauma at all or if its just al in my head, or so they say. it feels really nice that people care (or at least have fun) and make this stuff, it really helps.

TW: SA(?) grooming, abuse, suic*dal ideations and attempts, sh, eating disorders, Okay so I don’t know where to really start. And I know my situation may not be as bad as others, but please don’t judge. So my family has always kinda singled me out as the problem child, everything is always my fault. When I was younger, my oldest sister used to physically abuse me and scream at me when my parents weren’t home. My little sister used to hit me all the time too, but I couldn’t ever do anything back because I would get in trouble. And even when my parents found out that my oldest sister was abusing me, they did nothing, they just gave her a small lecture then turned to me and told me I made her do it because I was being whiny. I’m not sure if these really count- but when I was young, probably 8 or 9, my brother put his hand up my shirt. I pushed him away the first time, but he just did it again so I just kinda let it happen. But- that was all he did, so idk if it really counts as SA- but it did stick with me. :( Probably a couple years later, I had a phone, and on it, I had this online animal game. I remember I befriended this person, we hung out and stuff, and one day, he asked me to have sex with him. (We were animals in the game so he meant like animal sex- which doesn’t make it any better) As a child, like 9 or 10, I was curious, and this guy was my friend, so I said yes. He put our animals in these awful positions and said some vulgar things. I started to get uncomfortable so I told him I didn’t want to do it anymore. He kept trying to get me to continue but I eventually left. The next day, he found me again, and asked to have sex again. I said no. He told me he had taken screenshots of us doing it, and blackmailed me by threatening to post those screenshots if I didn’t have sex with him again. This went on for a while until I finally just deleted the game. This has haunted me for YEARS. I have never ever told anyone. I feel so violated and dirty. I’m ashamed. But I don’t feel valid because it was “just online” so it couldn’t have caused any real damage right? I’ve always been secretive, I’ve never told anyone about these, and everyone thinks I’m just an emo brat because I hate physical touch. Well they also don’t know that I’m also hypersexual as well as disgusted by the thought of sex. I feel absolutely vile. I cut myself all the time to cope- I look like a fucking Tiger, it’s so ugly. And I supposedly “recovered” from anorexia- yeah.. no. My brain is still far from recovered. I vomit sometimes and I work out like a maniac. I hate myself. I have no friends and no family that actually cares. I told my mom a few years ago about how I was feeling depressed and stuff- she called me fucking selfish and said that I only said it as an excuse for my school which wasn’t doing so well. I told my sister I was depressed too- she said I was selfish too and told me to just get over myself. My dad just yells. I’ve fucking had it. I’ve attempted suicide twice. I’ve tried to strangle myself and slit my wrists. Apparently those weren’t enough to end my pathetic existence. So yeah- thanks mom and dad for all your help. Thank you sister for telling me that you’ve had it so much worse and manipulating the fuck out of me. Thank you brother for being so distant that the only thing I can think of you by is the fact that you SA(?) me. (If that even counts) The only one who loves me is my cat. He’s always there for me. Anyways, if you read through all of this, thank you. I really appreciate your time, I hope all of well with you, and if you ever feel like no one loves you, just know that I love you! Even if I don’t know you, please stay safe!

i love the opal song pn here bc i can relate to opal sm😣

Yk, i used to sh in early 2024 because of all the stress, im glad i stopped around late september, although there arent alot of scars that doesnt stop the fact thst i did scratch myself and it hurt alot. But now im very lonley in school and im glad someone talks to me in 5th period and we get along

since we're venting in the comments i might as well my childhood was never really normal, i often had extreme suicidal ideation. first suicide attempt at 12. it doesnt really get better like people say, its been years since that first attempt and yet i still have 2 battle a never-ending loop of suicidal thoughts. i told my family i wasnt really a danger 2 myself anymore, but honestly, im not sure how much longer i can do this. ive been trying 4 so long but i think at some point im going 2 give in again this isnt really related 2 trauma as much as it is suicidal ideation but the reason why im like this is definitely because of trauma of sorts

I am superrrr glad to say that things have gotta way better for me in the past year! Technically it’s still pretty bad considering the stuff going on at home and oh GOD the family drama! But I’m happier now. And that’s all that matters to me, not both sides of my family still telling me my mother was a horrible person even after she died. Not my cousin having assaulted me/HIS SIBLINGS and ruining my life or my grandparents guilting me into forgiving him. (Plus me having first period with him and it going slowly to having them over everyday) I want to live again for the first time in years and that’s all that matters to me

I love the use of Opal's OST

Am I allowed to say I have a bad childhood? Am I allowed to resent my parents? They aren't bad people. They wanted the best for me. Is it fair to them that I feel uncomfortable in what is supposed to be my home? Am I justified in how I feel towards them? They didn't do terrible things. Just the usual yelling from your dad, ignoring my eating disorder, ignoring the fact that I have severe hypersensitivity, making me feel abandoned and alone. Does that justify the resentment and discomfort I have? Even though they changed? Even though they're trying their best to understand me now? I feel so guilty I feel sick. I'm a bad person.

I'm starting to think that I am not able to have any kind of connection with people or to be a good friend. No matter how would I behave, - polite, understanding, or joking every second - I am not an interesting person. And a conversation with me is no more than a "one-evening-conversation". I had no friends at all when I just moved, and at my any attempts to make new ones they laughed or ignored me. I guess, I didn't do it right. Every. Single. Time. It's so stupid and irrational, but since then I still have no motivation to talk to someone in real life. Then, I found comfort in Internet! I could talk and play and laugh up untill the morning with my new company. I loved and supported them, just like they did. They gave me attention, as much, as I wanted. Right then it was all gone. I could no more communicate with any of them as it was hurtful to remember how much fun we had (for me, or them), to remind us that we could not bring any of it back. Situations like this were repeated one after another, as I've been trying to fill these holes again and again. Someone told me that "it is gonna be all fine, and I will find people even better than them". But the thing was that I never wanted to change anything I already had. Never wanted these days to end. Never wanted to be uncomfortable for someone, or argue with someone, or text someone "I'm sorry, I guess, it will be better, if we stop communicating now", or read this exactly from someone dear to me. But I did all of this, and I lost everyone I doted on. No one left now. I'm starting to feel just tired of cycle of getting attached and loosing. I'm not even sure if i will not be alone. I definitely need someone, so I would be at least worth anything. If only I could live at least one day from that time again... It is quite obvious that I've been living in the past, but there's nothing left for me to do but "to hope that one day things will get better" and try to contribute to that. Ooh, how many times have I said that to others, and to myself... Despite that everything is getting only worse. Or, maybe, I can also believe that "it's not about me and my persona itself, but about my small age and experience". Thus, in any case, I only have to wait until someone tells me how to live properly. I am sorry for my silly whining. And for my bad English. :3

I don’t think I have trauma, but I at least have some sort of depression. But it’s all my own fault, and I have the ability to get rid of it to some degree. This is just what I think, and I know it’s all wrong, but some part of me accepts that it’s all wrong and doesn’t want to get the help to fix it. A part of me seeks for some sort of end to my life, as I chose most of the decisions that got me here. Sometimes I can’t even feel anything anymore, don’t have the effort to do anything, and most of my state is just… slow and dumb. I can barely function. And funnily enough, I almost want it. I almost am to that point where my lowest points are just filled with me, instead of wanting to end all the time, okay with any sort of emotion… it’s almost like every emotion is stabilized, and I feel nothing but one emotion all the time. (When I’m in that state.) I have a manifesto dating back to last year I’ve been writing in, and I talk to friends when I’m in really dire needs, which helps a bit, but it hasn’t changed much in the long term. Thank you for reading, I hope I stay alive :]

Please I really WANT you to feel better 😊 read this and let me be your hope ♥️ Your feelings are shared with every person in the world, everyone is hurt in their way, everyone can relate to anyone in some way. And think that, Living is always worth, is not the worst or the best thing that can happen to you, it is the only THING that CAN happen to you. Traverse this jungle and know that everything is there to make you stronger. You are strong, I know it, keep going.

I was forced to grow up too early, my parents told and showed me stuff I didn’t wanna know, and they let bad things happen too me. I’m a teen now, and they wonder why I have mental issues.

3:58 my favorite one "cozy nightmares" 😊

this playlist reminds me of when my parents were divorsed and my mom was homeless and my dad did f/ent and my mom took me and my sister with her and we were homeless and living in a hotel and she would always say "things will get better". alot more happened and i was living with my dad again and my mother left and then we got evicted. then i was living with my bestfriend who would sa me then i moved to california with my grandma and she said "things will get better for you girls" which made me get like flash backs besides the fact amazing playlist!!

TW: Small vent!!! :,) Honestly this playlist reminds me of how badly my parents actually fucked me up. My basically absent mother, my always agressive father. Fear was the only discipline I got, and my parents never bothered comforting me. But now my parents are really nice people, they've gotten kinder as time went on, but because of this I feel like I truly am just dramatic. Like what if it really only was in my head? I don't think my trauma is that bad, but emotional neglect still isn't something that anyone, let alone a child, should go through. I wish my father would've tried being nicer, or that my mother actually made more of an effort to be there for me. Since now it kinda feels like my childhood is long gone, like it was over before I even got the chance of actually experiencing it. I'm 15 now, but it feels like i'm already an independent adult. Or at least it feels like I should be, but I'm not and I hate it.

its been a year. i’ve been getting better, but its been horrible as of recently. i relapsed 3 days after the most recent one, the time before that had a gap of 5 months. my body dysmorphia gotten worse, ive been borderline starving myself. everything has became hell from what it was just 4 weeks ago. no one cares, and i have no one to run to. i simply try to cope with music; it doesnt work any more.

Starting with claire d lune already a banger playlist

Wednesday, October, 9, 2024, was the day they buried a close family member of mine. they took her away from me. i’ll never forgive the driver, i’ll never forgive him for killing an innocent child why were you thinking why did you drink you will never be forgiven by me. you took the best friend i had. she was only a child. at least she’s with her father resting in piece. Love you Jaylah .

guys i definitely love everything so much! everything is so much fun and joy and happy!

so my brother is autistic and he will never recover he beats us sometimes... and my dad is bedridden and he will never recover he has a broken shoulder and broken toe.And my mom works 15 hours a day at a low paying job and I don't even see her during the day (my mom gets about $200 a month and my brother has a $75 pension) and we have no one else to help us.There are always fights and screams in our house. Sometimes my father drinks and doesn't let us home all night... There is no heat in our house and I don't have any friends to play with, sisters or brothers Our house is not repaired. Sometimes I would like to wake up in a beautiful room. *Or die :)*

When I was little I was picked on and didn’t have a lot of friends. I felt alone but I felt like if I told anyone at home I’d be in trouble so I would make up stories about my “friends” and tell the stories to my family. When someone actually talked to me I was already so used to lying about my life that I lied to them to, they found out and thought I was just lying for the fun of it. I wanted to cry. I wanted to talk to someone. I felt completely isolated and alone. But I thought my parents wouldn’t like it if I cried so I held it in. I kept it inside for years. I felt so numb like there were no more feelings inside, I didn’t need to hold in my tears because there were no tears to hold. Even if I was hurt physically I couldn’t cry anymore. My tears were gone, I had pushed them so far down that they would never come back to the surface. I didn’t mind. It was less stress. I felt light. I could breathe. Until I got older. everything came up and was trying to suffocate me, I felt dead. Everything in my life fell. My friends stoped talking to me. My grades dropped. I was no longer perfect. I was useless, I had no worth. No one came to pick me up. No one came to save me. I was a puppet on a string except no one was controlling me. I wanted to be numb again, I wanted to be released of all feeling. I didn’t want to feel but how could I stop it. Well I could distract myself I figured that if I hit myself hard enough it would be the only thing I could feel, no emotions no worries. I had finally figured out the solution. I was finally free again. In a different life maybe I could have seen it for what it was. Maybe I could have stopped it all from happening. Maybe I could have explained why I could no longer fell and why I could no longer cry…. Maybe.

My mother was genuenlly awful. She would spread lies about people she didnt liek for the most petty reasons; she tried to mold me into a very hateful and toxic person to try and make me like her. That included making me afraid of the same things that she was afraid of (she would constantly force me to watch paranormal related horror shows and movies). She was increadibly manipulative and strict. Thankfully I believe I am becoming a person that my younger self would've felt safe to be around. As my only true fear is turning into sombody like her. But thats not the worst part, I pretty much cannot raise my voice on my own because the only time i yelled at my mother was the same night that she wrongfully imprisoned my friend and tried to coax me into thinking that it was his fault on my i started getting aggressive (all i had done was yell at her saying i was done with this treatment and that I was moving in with my dad). I still have a very difficult time even talking loudly. Its been about 4 years since i decided to move in with my dad (i was 12) and it was potentially been the greatest decision I've made in my life. I still have my issues: Im afraid of the things my my mother made me afraid of, I still dont fully trust my dad (she would tell me lies about him and try to make me hate him), and I can still get volitile at the slightest inconvinence. But I've gotten better. I've practiced raising my voice to be louder, I've been more open with my dad so I can trust him,and ive been learning to handle my emotions in a healthy way. I still have a long way to go, I forgave my mom in my heart since I know she is in genuene need of mental help. But nothing can change what happened to me. I am broken, and I am ok with that.

There are many protectors in this life, me included. Don't y'all forget that the next time y'all feel no one in life cares

I haven’t had any trauma but I just clicked on bc I was bored but for me this is a really good playlist it’s like a vent playlist as well :)) I’ve been frustrated and overwhelmed for a long time already and having su1cidal thoughts lately and I can’t even express myself for who I really am (I’m a furry and possibly a therian) :(( and my whole family cousins friends classmates etc are Antis (except for 1 cousins and 1 friend) and I do quads secretly and I got gear for “just Halloween” and my sisters made fun of me for getting gear (they still are) and I’m getting so so sooo sick of it ;/ and I wear my gear for quads when I’m home alone it’s so stressful and I haven’t came out to ANYONE about being a therian except for that 1 cousin and friend they are so nice….but life is getting so stressful and overwhelming… ;( I just want to end it but Ik how I’ll make everyone sad and cry so I’ll promise not to commit it….i really am trying though… TO THE PERSON READING THIS!: please love yourself don’t even call yourself fat and ugly or whatever your beautiful and amazing dont worry what other people think! :) please please please if your trying to commit don’t…what about your pet(s) or family friend cousins etc they are going to miss you lots and lots of:((and cry so don’t commit things will get better I know it’s hard but you can do this! Your brave and strong and nice :) and if people don’t like u they don’t deserve u bye lovely person take care🫶🏽 By-Jessie🐾🪶

i feel like my life is threatening a downward spiral again. I hate being schizophrenic. Delusions are terrible and the memory of them with a cleared and "recovered" mind taunts me and brings me great distress. I thought my dead friend was lingering around me, but not necessarily in a bad way. it hurts when i think about her. i wish i knew her better before she passed I couldn't stop crying at her funeral. it hurt so much. i wish she never had to suffer like she did. i hope she felt atleast some comfort in her last moments. I uhm Paranoia is really bad too im so scared of something catastropic happening in the world I miss my best friend,i know ill see him in just a little under 3 hours he's so nice to me i like it when he holds me or holds my hand and kisses me he's so nice to me i love him dearly i fear sometimes that i will do somethign wrong and wreck it and we'll never talk again. i think if that happened id be in a severe amount of hurt. i try not to think about that.

thank you. i've been through a lot. in grade -, we were telling the scores to the teacher. (We were doing an activity and we check it ourselves then tell what score we got to the teacher.) i said my score, and our teacher said "Whoops! You didn't say "Ma'am." Automatic zero!" i am sensitive and even just that from a teacher hurts me a lot. its like she stabbed me right in the heart. i wanted to get a high score. because what will my mom think? what if i don't pass this grade? what will mom think of me? if she tells anybody, what will they think? i cried. so hard. just because of that. im the type of person who will sacrifice my own health just to go to school, even though i dont want to go. (Probably because my mom will be very mad at me if im absent.) anyway, later that day i went to sleep as usual. but oh, guess what, i was shivering, still traumatized. she said that to me in a very rude tone. if people criticize me, i dont care. but if it's teachers? it just shatters my heart into pieces. (yes i know its not a clear explanation) i was cold, shivering all over the place, i hated it there. i hated it. *I never wanted to go back.* and so i went absent. 2 days.. my mom transferred me back to my old school where i was originally there. (she transferred me to a new school since the old school was now far away from our new house.) and i dont regret it, i love my old school more. never traumatized me. (I might delete this comment just a little vent tho

my father played the piano. he doesnt anymore, but i can get him to play a song for me every once in a while. whenever he does play, he plays "cristofori's dream" or something like that. i forget who wrote it. ive taught myself how to play it just like how he taught himself by watching his mother play it. i havent seen him for a month. i dont see him more than three days a month usually. i never stay at his house for a full day. last time i saw him, he said he'll leave me because he doesnt think i need him. i dont see him very much anyways so what difference does it make if he were to leave me? thats what he said. im not sure what he means by leaving me, but he cant leave me yet. we havent had our bi-monthly chess match; who will play chess with me? i havent heard him play the piano in so long, how am i supposed to learn cristifori's dream?

Endure i tell myself yet i don't know how much can i endure

I don’t really have any teams but this playlist weirdly makes me comfortable Might as well vent too I am myself I am still myself after ten years. Barely anything has changed since that car hit my mother Why wasn’t it me to save her? My dad would be better if I died instead I already and and always will be. One stupid motherless failure.

"So with all sincerity, there is no body who I can blame but myself... I'm fine with that." That's what I want to say and that's the shield I always use. No matter how many time I cave my skull in, the memories of my countless failed attempts still haunt. I don't even remember why, I just know I did multiple time and that it is consuming me. Slowly but surely, I'm feeling like corpse; far past their experiention date now that I am 18. then again, who do I blame for getting addicted to the pain? Who do I blame for consistantly reminding me of my inherent lack of value? All of that was a coping mechanism and it all catches up to making me simply unstable for others to rely on, for others to depend on. My bipolar was only the aftermath and other possible brain defiect afterwards. One day, I will pop the last champaine bottle at my birthday. So with all sincerity, there is no body who I can blame but myself. I'm fine with that.

we see you, Opal reprise...

nothing is helping anymore. I want out.

I went trought some shit too, and im still slowly recovering. My ex friend was toxic, i lost a family member, i was some sort of left behind, unable to help, my cousin forgot about me too.. damn, it feels weird. This sort of playlists strangely help me

brief vent, abuse ment sometimes i think 'oh yeah i was never abused as a child wdym :)' and then i remember the one (1) time my step mom hit me and then it's like, man, maybe i was treated way worse than i remember, maybe none of that was normal. it's wild how only one break can make someone rethink and recontextualize the past.

ı had a good childhood along with some trauma of course :) But when I cry my dad ALWAYS says "crying does not change anything" I always wanted to say " I KNOW CRYING DOES NOT CHANGE ANYTHING but I wanna cry and feel relieved but you always say that and that makes me so mad because you describe "crying" as a 5 year old kids and crybabies do you expect me to not cry that hurt my feelings you can always say " okay calm down you can cry that's not a bad thing " and hug me but you never do that in my entire childhood" I always wanted to say that but I can't idk why im not brave that much... thank you guys for reading :)I know this is not that much to cry about but you know im a little crybaby :) anyway im sorry for who didn't want to read or hear any vent I just wanted to say that if I made your day worse im so sorry

I’m like a twig, I get stepped all over until I finally snap.

Gosh,i feel so tired. Im tired of this. I don’t know what,but something’s very wrong with me. I talk to myself,i eat stuff that can’t be eaten,i barely sleep,i bite myself when im angry to the point of ripping my own skin and bruising,im very dull on the outside but on the inside,im fighting for my life against whatever i could have. The only thing that comforts me is my imagination and sh,I barely feel anything but at the same time im so full of emotions. I feel like im going to pass out in school,it’s nauseating to be in there and talk with so called M person who just makes me more insecure about myself and I can’t bring myself to respond. Im scared of hurting people,im scared of people in general. I want to end it all so bad. But I can’t,im too weak. I wish I knew,how does it feel to live like a normal person. How does it feel to want to go to school? How does it feel to want to live? How does parent love feel? How does it feel to actually want to do something…how does life feel… i forgot. It’s been three years since it started,and since then i feel like a rogue,away and different from my classmates and people in general. I might just go and hang myself soon. I can’t cope.