Welcome to Lavender Lingo! We are Tyler and Sheldon and we are bringing you your new destination for authentic LGBTQIA+ experiences. Join us as we embark on a journey to share the joys, challenges, and everyday moments that shape our lives.
Our mission is simple: To be a voice for love, community, family, and friendship within the LGBTQIA+ community. We're passionate about celebrating the mundanity of being a gay couple in today's age-cherishing the ordinary experiences that many before us fought for. We're here to remind you that love knows no bounds, and that together, we can create a world where everyone feels seen, heard, and valued.
Throughout our journey, we'll explore a wide range of topics that are near and dear to our hearts. From travel adventures and discussions on art, music, and fashion, to delving into politics, society, mental health, lifestyle, and the rich history that has paved the way for us.
Nice couple...It must be difficult not knowing the language, but being together helps a lot! I can see you've had no problems with food, although not always the "right" food, and too bad you're not vegan. I can't believe you only paid 5 euros to see the Pantheon. Relatives of mine bought their tickets online and paid around 50 euros each! I'm also surprised to see the fountain uncovered; they're renovating all of them for next year. The food IS great here, but you also have to know where to eat. By the way, the Vatican is full of "gay" and "other" men so don't worry about being set on fire. LOL! IF you come back to Rome, do let me know!
We are no strangers to not knowing the language and love the challenge that brings us because we love to learn new things!! We really tried to spend quite a bit of time learning too but You’re right…. Being together always helps 💕 You’re absolutely right!!! When it comes to food, it’s about where you eat and I think we did a bad job of explaining our curiosity about the food. We loved all of the food we had in Italy. The ingredients were by far the most fresh tasting ingredients…. Especially in Florence (where we go to next) where they really pride themselves on fewer seasonings on fresher ingredients. Our American palettes were just salt deprived haha 🤣 it wasn’t bad ever!!! It was just different than what we expected. And oh my goodness… we have always had the best of luck in our travels around the world. We are so thankful that we have the luck with the sights that we have had. One of our best travel advice is to always buy the tickets for the event directly at the location or on their specific website. Sites often tend to be third party and websites can be misleading about where you are. We faced this even bigger in Costa Rica! It saves a lot of money to go direct to the source.
Actually in Italy we made friends with this couple (which we talk about in our cinque terre video coming up) where we talked about how cringey it is that New York Italians do this lol “mozzerell” 🤢
Hahaha You’re definitely correct! We figured it out by the end of our time in Rome. And you’re right, it is soooo easy. We are no strangers to transit systems since we’re from NYC…. Which is a terrible metro system! Sometimes traveling brings weird challenges…. This just happened to be ours on this trip. Thankfully we don’t really sweat the small stuff. Every adventure is its own adventure.
I am very ill this week. Just commenting for the algorithm: gonna come back soon with comments and more, if you don’t mind! Keep up the excellent work 😘❤️
@@LavenderLingo me life live in Hungary Budapest yes how me gay single alone yes sorry from me ex-couple hetero men name Martin 3 years meet couple not sex not kiss only talking after we break up and the 7 Month meet is 5 Month writter Messenger Facebook after happen Martin drugs end we break up sad ☹️ me now alone single yes sorry
Hey! Not a very nice day for me: I just finished teaching my freshmen literature seminar and my college kids did not give shit about it. I tried everything and they don’t care about it. I am sad, and I must be a terrible teacher 😔😞 Thanks for making a shitty night a less shitty night! More to come 🌞🤗
Haha our successes and failures can only be judged by our own experience and understanding of ourselves. You’re not a bad teacher because of others. 😘 Have a good evening 🎉
Guys, you are so funny in your own way 😂 thanks for the video and remembering my tip ❤ the story of the search for an apartment was at the same time tense, cute and incredible😂 You must have felt hot boys in Costa Rica and you are absolutely right about that😂❤ I agree with talking about the difficult moments in a relationship, because it's good to know both sides! And again, thank you so much for the attention ❤️❤️
We are just thankful for the support you showed us over the first couple months of our journey. We had to take some time away to focus on ourselves and our life but we’re glad to be back! There will be many more videos just like this…. Maybe a bit more funny next time 🤣 can’t wait to share some heartwarming moments/hard moments/loving moments between us as well. And hopefully we can find ways to hear that from you and others in this community too! We hope this year has been going well for you! 😘
@@LavenderLingo What made me want to watch you even more was your charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent! (yes, I recited Rupaul just for you 🤣). I'm happy you're back and I wish you success 🫶🏼
Very cool and careful video! Kudos to you! 🥳 If you are interested in gay history there are some titles that are, in my opinion, unavoidable. - Halperin, David M. (1990). One Hundred Years of Homosexuality: And Other Essays on Greek Love. New York: Routledge - Boswell, John (1994). Same-Sex Unions in Pre-Modern Europe. Villard Books - Butler, Shane (2022). The Passions of John Addington Symonds. Oxford University Press. I am loving your channel! ❤️ and you can tell I am an academic 😅 sorry for the “bibliography.”
That’s always okay with us! We’ve been hoping this turns into a community of like minded individuals…. So we’re happy to get to have some Positive interactions with others!
Thanks for the advice. My hardest struggle with my husband is, I think, n. 8. I am actually crying right now, for no reason. Beautiful video! I hope to see the channel grow and that you’ll be back and make more videos!
You're literally making us so happy by watching and commenting. It means the most!💕 In relationships, all things ebb and flow. Start with communication and we're sure that it will solve itself. Plus, always remember to put your individual growth equal to that of the growth of your relationship.
This is the first video of yours that I watched! I could see the love and devotion of one to the other: it is heartwarming to see gay couples leading ordinary and yet fulfilling lives. I was last night in a bar in the West Village and felt somehow that everyone was living behind a smoke curtain; I felt differently about your lives. I hope to see more of purely authentic moments between the two of you. P.S. I am gonna definitely check out that amazing view, thanks for the tip ❤️
Goodness!! Thank you so much! We truly appreciate your kind words and affirmation. We've spent a lot of time together... almost half our lives. We are best friends in every way. That is the whole point of this channel! We're here celebrating the mundane lives we get to live because so many people fought for us to have this life and we're thankful. Plus.... throw in a bit of art, travel, history, fashion, music, politics and you pretty much have a snapshot of us as people and as a couple. lol Truly, thank you for watching; we can't wait to share more with you!!
@@LavenderLingo I can’t wait for you to share more. Honestly, your channel should have more recognition: what you do is highly positive for the community. As for mundanity, taken in its highest possible meaning, it reminds me of Thorin’s words, at the end of the Hobbit: “if more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.” Are you going to ever touch upon the unhealthy beauty standards of our community? I feel that is one of the gravest problems the (mainly male) homosexual community has to deal with! Ad maiora, semper!
We are on a similar wavelength friend!!! We are currently in the works for a video that will come in November about the "gay body".... specifically referencing the unrealistic beauty standards and the different types of bodies of the entire LGBTQIA+ community! This topic won't focus on negativity but will point out the truth, both positive and negative, about the "gay body." We hope to discuss this topic from an internal and external point of view... but we will see!! Next week we will talk about gay beaches... while spending time at Jacob Riis then we head off to Italy (a five-part video series) To split that up a bit, a video about the gayness of the Renaissance and gay politics in the US. SOOOOOO much coming up. ***btw... love the pic of Hadrian!🖤
@@LavenderLingo love it for you! OMG guys! Btw, I am a PhD student and focus on the study on the ancient world in a big university on the UWS ;) and am Italian!!!🇮🇹 have been interested in the “Ufficiali della Notte” of Renaissance Florence, and I have published a bit on other aspects of Renaissance culture! Where are you visiting in Italy? OMG so excited for more to come!!!! P.S. Hadrian and Antinous has been in my mind for ages! Maybe after the PhD I’ll work on a novel/retelling of the whole story from Antinous’ point of view!
(Shel) No. Unfortunately my parents are no longer around. Either by choice or because they passed away. Fortunately, I still have some of my siblings, my chosen family, and Tyler’s parents have taken me on as one of their kids. They feel like my parents too. 🖤 Maybe we will talk a bit more about family and chosen family in a later video. When it comes to LGBT people family is often a touchy subject for any number of reasons. Something we would be glad to talk about.
Oh my gosh totally! We have a couple videos on our channel about LGBT relationships and marriage already! They apply to all relationships even if you’re not lgbt! That’s being said…. That’s also one of the cornerstones of our channel so you will definitely see more videos to come. One quick bit of advice: “have patience, learn to communicate and understand how your partner communicates, intimacy is key, and put you and your growth equal to the growth of your relationship.” Thanks for watching! You’re awesome! 😘
Congratulations to you too! Relationships are hard work but we do the best we can! Especially thankful when we can find the moments to laugh together 💕 thanks for watching and commenting! 😘
Some people decide they don’t NEED to marry, which is fine. But getting married means you get to legally become a real family member that must be recognized. It has its benefits. One of the main reasons this fight for marriage equality started was the AIDS epidemic. When partners got sick, hospitals would not allow partner visits. When deaths occurred, that family would not allow the “boyfriend” to attend going away services. In addition to that, property issues became serious issues, especially when property was involved. Basically, that family would take away everything of value that didn’t personally belong to the living partner. That brutal hatred and homophobic activity started a new face of activism, from which marriage equality was born. Marriage is a beautiful thing to have and celebrate. It solidifies a love and bonding between two people that bring more beauty to the world. But don’t ever take it for granted. You get to have this best friend and partner that will always be an “extension” of you when you treat it with honesty and respect. But divorces do occur and has happened and can be expensive. Low percentage rates among the LGBTQ community, and we hope to make it an even lower percentage. To prove something? To the world? Well yes, that exactly. So choose wisely.
Everybody has their own reasons on why it’s important! And you listed some very important ones. We see that it’s also popular in our community to see people who have no intentions on getting married and that is okay too. Everyone makes their own choices for what is best for their individual lives! We just want to make sure no one ever feels like they have to get married. Also that there is no specific guidelines for what a “real relationship” looks like. For us getting married was the right choice. And we would never take it for granted. We’re thankful for what we have. We’ve also learned a lot from 12 years together
love love love y’all’s videos! 🥰 as a member of LGBTQIA+ who doesn’t have much of a community in person due to where i live, it’s so cool to be able to learn about different aspects of our community! also love that the vibe is goofy but super educational 😂💕
Hahaha first, hi! Thank you so much for watching our videos. We will have more content when we get back from our traveling. Sorry that it’s been a while. That will always be the vibe! Education but a little silly lol Hope you’re doing well! See you soon! 🖤
I have a published paper on the LGBTQ+ community and I can see where my paper gets downloaded. I have gotten downloads from countries like Iran, Russia, and other countries with these strict laws. I always want to give a big hug to the people downloading it where it's not safe and let them know there's people who care about them.
Oh my goodness! Thank you for sharing this here!! We can’t wait to read it! You should let us know where we can download it! That’s what we want our community to be too…. A place that is a big hug to those who need it. Thanks for watching our video. We will have more content soon. We are traveling and will have more content when we get back home!
I loved the video and the tips for queer places ❤️. I'm from Brazil and here the Queers parades are wonderful. Another tip is a neighborhood I'm currently visiting called Chueca in Madrid, Spain. He is totally Queer and engaging! I highly recommend it. Ps: I loved the story of gay clubs 😂
Both Spain and Brazil are on our upcoming travel list! We are so excited for both!!! Plus both places seem to know how to throw a good party 🎉 🎊 Haha gay clubs are always a good time! Lol and we don’t go too often but when we do we always go all out hahaha 🤣
Congratulations on finding each other. I hope you have a long and happy life together As a person who is undateable it's sometimes very hard to see people together without being jealous, and feeling more isolated, but I still wish you all the best.
We are all undateable at one time or another. We were very lucky to have met each other so early in life but we have definitely faced our struggles. Even faced times where we probably should not have been together…. But we persevered. No need to feel isolated because you don’t have that “1 person”. We are a community centered around love 💕 Wishing you the best too! 🖤😘
@@LavenderLingo Thank you so much for taking the time to write your thoughtful and heartfelt response, and for showing the positives of your relationship, as well as some of the struggles. I very much appreciate it, and will continue to watch with interest, as you are both so sweet. I am alone, and undateable, and for some that's a matter of confidence, and for others it's a matter of fact. I have unattractive physical health problems, and certain conditions that mean I will be taking what's left of my journey solo. All I crave is a hug/cuddle most of all, but I'm learning to self soothe, to hug myself/pillow, and hold my own hand. It's sad, but at least it's some self compassion. Anyway sorry for the additional waffle on this thread. Take care and thanks again for your kindness.
Phil…. If we may call you that? We are honored you took the time to watch our video and to comment. We can’t describe how thankful we are that you are a part of our journey. We hope that we can be a sense of comfort when you need it. 💜 We will be here and I hope you know you can lean on us or reach out whenever!! 🥰
@@LavenderLingo Thank you so very much. Yes, my name is Phil. You are so kind to reach out yet again and say what you said. I wish you all the luck with your channel, and you lives together, and may both go from strength to strength.
It’s not always easy, sometimes it’s really hard, but the hard times make those sweet moments even sweeter. Thanks for consistently showing love! We can’t wait for you to see what we have coming up! If you ever have a topic you want us to cover we’d love to know! ☺️💜
I would love to know some really funny adventures or occasions that you have had together. I would like to know more about the stories of the two of you together❤
Hi! Thanks for watching ✌️ While we don’t have an open relationship. We see nothing wrong with couples that do!! As long as both partners are open to it and there is open communication we see no reason why that shouldn’t work them. 💜 We have a planned discussion for a video about this and the different types of relationships that we often see in our community!
Thank you Gabriel!! 💜 Honestly we can’t wait to share the next video with the top five. Thanks for supporting our journey!! 😘 Also, glad this can help you!
Thank you 🥰 Honestly…. We’ve been together for most of our lives at this point. All the bad and the good. We’ve learned what it takes to make it work. Still have a lot to learn but we’ll never stop. Haha thanks for watching 💜
This is brilliant advice guys you two so remind me of my son and his now husband/soulmate they like you just bounce off each other they are living their best lives together they bicker argue laugh but love each other so much they have their own full time jobs interests friends but also do amazing holidays escape rooms theatre etc together and with friends and have two little fur babies keep enjoying life guys life is for living and loving 👬💙💙XX
Hello Lorraine! Thank you so much! Honestly, that’s our goal. We’re here to celebrate being a gay couple because so many people have fought for us to have this relationship. A relationships that is completely equal to any other relationship out there. All relationships have their unique challenges, all have unique ways of making it work, but the love is always the same. Thanks for watching! Sending so much love and prosperity to you and your family 💜
Well, I am still fighting for our rights in the Philippines. Filipinos say the state and religion is sepersted, but until now, same sex marriage is not accepted. I blame their hypocracy for that. I kinda thought Christians should love people.
We live in the US and unfortunately…. State and religion is so tightly intertwined that we face so many terrible human rights violations as well. There can be so much good in spirituality but religion is often built on control and power. Glad that you are still fighting and pushing for equality. Also, thank us for watching! We appreciate it! 💜
What would you say the degree of correlation is between a country being a colder country, which on the northern hemisphere means a northern country that is relatively cold and the acceptance of LGBT+ ? This is because there seems some relatonship between the wellfare as well as average IQ of northern (colder) countries. Even in countries where one part is significantly colder than the other (like itality, japan) , it's pretty much always the northern (the cold one, on northern hemisphere) that is econimically richer Even in countries like Japan and Itality, the average IQ is also higher in the colder areas. So possiblt the acceptance of LGBT can be partly predicted based on the average IQ being higher, as a higher IQ often means people are more open minded.
To be honest, our research wasn’t on either of these subjects. So we’re not entirely sure. From what we sort of saw was that just northern hemisphere (where it’s cold in the north) are not the only places where there are higher IQ averages. There are higher IQs in the souther tip of the America’s in Chile and Argentina, Australia, etc. And outliers across the board. While it may seem correlated, we don’t actually think colder climates are equal to higher IQs nor broader LGBT acceptance. The truth is that the IQ tests face a lot of criticism on whether it can accurately predict intelligence as it often favors specific types of intelligence that certain cultures deem more important than others. So it may not be the best judge. We don’t think colder climates or iq tests are equal to lgbt acceptance. At least not without further research. It could be a correlation but not something we’ve looked into enough to know
You are not wrong. The idea is that many of the anti lgbt laws were put in place during English colonialism and remain as relics in some of the countries they once occupied. The UK itself didn’t legalize same sex sexual relations until 1967. Even then, it still held restrictions for gay men. The UK still struggles with non-binary gender identities and gender affirming care without a medical diagnosis (plus they must be older than 18).
Taliban run Afghanistan throw gay men off roofs of buildings. Any Muslim countries generally bad news if your gay,plus a lot of African and carribean islands.
We also found in our research that many of the countries where we see the harshest punishments and strictest anti-LGBT laws were in Africa and the Middle East. That is where you’ll find the most “punishable by death.”
A little something to consider: All those countries that you paint in a positive light have no problem bringing in both legal & illegal Muslim migrants who have it hard wired in their beliefs to have the heads of homosexuals be used as not so pretty display pieces. Don't get this idea that any government and corporation actually cares about your rights. All they do is profit off of weaponization and causing division, and nothing else.
We do not believe or condone that all or even most Muslim migrants, or any migrant group for that matter, have bad intentions or are hardwired to be bad. There will always be bad people as a part of every group. That being said, we are also completely aware of the negative impacts of every religion throughout time. Not just on lgbt individuals but all of society and the economy. You also bring up an interesting point that we have mentioned in a few other comments. Government laws are not equal to government protections and neither of those are equal to social equality or protections. Governments have proven many of times over that they weaponize our rights as political propaganda to make money. As you said, they often don’t actually care about our rights unless they can profit from them and they best know how to do this by cause harsh divisions. Thanks for watching ✌️
Ooooohhhhh my gossssshhh! 😅That’s so embarrassing haha thanks for catching that 😘 idk how we go through this entire editing process without noticing that!
Brunei is pronounced like “brew-nye” not “brew-nay”. Also, Canada should be ranked higher than 5. I know this was all based on your own opinions, it sounds like you've never visited Canada despite living just south of the country.
Lol. We realized that it was pronounced like “brew-nye” after we rewatched the press conference where the sultan talked about the moratorium (which we also both said incorrectly) haha honest mistake Also… we have been to Canada. ✌️and we absolutely love it. And it’s more than just based on our opinions. We essentially gathered this information from across all of the different rankings. They all rank Canada and all of the separate countries in a variety of orders because this topic is highly subjective. Government laws do not equal government protections and neither of those are equal to social protections or equality. For example you may find a country like Brazil… who has extremely liberal laws for lgbt but those laws don’t usually equate to protections or social equality. Canada was placed at a variety of placements but usually never fell above places like Iceland, Netherlands, or even Spain which isn’t on the list at all. We only made this video 8 min and only did a top and bottom 5. There were many more countries we could’ve talked about. Thanks for watching! We appreciate it 💜
We couldn’t make Jamaica the worst not when other countries make it completely illegal to be gay and have punishment options of death. When Jamaica’s laws outline years of prison and manual labor. Also, Yemen for example identified their “first lgbt” person to come out in 2013…. Which is ridiculous. But that also talks about how dangerous it is to be lgbt and out there. Jamaica is definitely in the bottom but probably not number 1. That being said. This sort of list is subjective because government laws do not equal government protections and neither are equal to social equality or protections. We could’ve switched out a variety of countries because we only did 5…. There are more than 5 on both sides. Thanks for watching. We truly appreciate it 💜✌️
I'm in love with Plasma so I hope she does well! Besides that I agree that Nymphia will win (or at least be top 3). I'd like to think Q and/or Dawn will end up there too. Fun video besties! 🫶
Plasma’s character is so funny and quick witted!! We love her! We’re also a bit of fashion history buffs. Especially Tyler since he was a costume designer and now a fashion designer. Honestly, we hope she steps up her fashion just a bit because historical fashion of the 40s/50s/60 can be out of this world. If she does…. She’d be unstoppable 💜 This video was made before the first episode…. But Q…. We’re both in love. Thank you so much for watching!! We appreciate it 😘
You should check out this site!!! ⬇️ www.ilga-europe.org/rainbow-europe/ 👨⚖️ We never recommend only looking at one source to compile your information. But this a decent and trusted source. As far as gross violations of human rights. The UK still unfortunately falls somewhere in the middle compared to countries like Malta/Spain/Denmark/etc. ✈️ as for travel, we have a whole video about the best places for LGBT travel coming up!! This video is mostly about laws that are set up to protect LGBT people. Unfortunately, laws don’t always equate to actual protections and/or social equality which may mean that they still aren’t the best for LGBT travel. Our travel video will be a breakdown of the best and worst countries to visit for LGBT people. Some places we’ve been and some places we want to go. Can’t wait to share it with you all! Have a beautiful day!! 🥰💜
@@LavenderLingo I am curious. Did you guys include the general safety of a country too as a factor? So a place where there is lots of crime and voilence, yet it's not aimed at (in particular) LGBT individuals? Would such country still rank hgh? (hypothetically)
@@PowerRedBullTypologyno we did not. As this video was primarily about the lgbt laws in place. Unfortunately, govt. laws are not equal to government protections and neither are equal to social equality or protections. Which, is true regardless of who the violence/crime is committed on. Our next video about the best and worst countries to travel to for lgbt will include a larger variety of safety issues in each country. Regardless if lgbt laws
We listed them based on our research. We took tons of sources and then sort of averaged them out. Because the truth is that better or worse is subjective. Doing a top five for this same reason was difficult because there are so many other countries that deserve to be on both sides of the spectrum. Something that is missing in this video is the idea that legal protections don’t always equate to social protections even if that is why they are in place. A countries govt can enact laws and then do nothing to uphold them or they may not reflect the people’s opinions of lgbt. Thanks for watching 💜
This is a very good point. Another reason why this list could have no “correct” order. Legal protections don’t always equal social equality or acceptance. And honestly, in most countries the LGB often still find themselves in a better situation than the T in LGBT. Regardless of the side of list they are on
The Netherlands has slipped back lately after being in the top for ages. Its very sad but our politicians just don't give af. There's also been an increase in hate crimes, especially against trans people. Its still a better place for LGBT+ people than most of the world, but protections for LGBT+ people are not a priority anymore. Also, especially with our new government coming in, things will get way worse in NL. The polarisation in the US is also not helping because all this 'woke' nonsense infects people here too. As far as I'm aware, Iceland has more rights for LGBT parents, adoption and civil rights than NL.
We compiled these from a few different sources, including ILGA, so this is more so our take on the matter since it’s so subjective. Thanks for watching though, we appreciate it so much!
@@LavenderLingo when it comes to rights, it's mostly the legal protections that matter - unless a country fares well on legal protections but society is far less accepting. Not the case with any of the mentioned countries. Methinks your list is a tad biased towards northern European countries (with one north American country sneaking in at number 5).
Brazil is the country who kills more gays and transexuals in the world. we have number to prove. its once a day and the ways are from horror movies. you guys need more information in your social bubble.
@rodrigog.3558 We only gave 5 of each. There are many more countries that deserve to be on that list….. We also were primarily talking about laws and government protections which according to Brazil’s laws for non discrimination and equality, Brazil still ranks at one of the highest in the world. - same sex sexual relations legal since 1830 - same sex marriage and adoption since 2013 - self determination of gender identity without surgery since 2018 - anti lgbt discrimination laws placed since 2019 - in 2023 Brazil’s Supreme Court made homophobia punishable by prison. (However, not sure if it can truly be enforced) What you’re bringing up is very important. Do these laws matter and do governments actually do anything to protect lgbt people? Or do the social opinions of the general public matter more? You’re correct, Brazil has an extremely high number of recorded lgbt deaths compared to the rest of the world. And we can’t imagine how many go unrecorded. 😢 The other thing about our list is that we talked about federal executions. That means the individuals were killed for being gay by the government. If you do an internet search of iran and lgbt you will see they don’t have pride parades, they don’t have lgbt communities, and they are not allowed to be gay at all in public or private. Unfortunately what shows are the public hanging of gay men done by their government and all about their anti lgbt laws. We are so thankful you watched our video! Truly, it means a lot to us! I think we will take your recommendation into account and do another video about social opinions and lgbt safety beyond government laws a little bit later. Because your right, government laws don’t always equal safety. We did another video called Lavender languages: the secret languages of the lgbt. In this video we talk about Brazilian Pajuba, curious if you’ve heard about it? Definitely interesting and beautiful to know that the lgbt community of Brazil fights for their community and keeps a sense of unity despite being attacked and hated on by others. Peace and love 💜✌️
