i dont know how you live with that man-istp here. lol. at some point you will find him really draining the life out of you. they expect a lot from other people. if you put a step wrong in his mind he will drop you. dont you feel like you are at times tired of trying to live up to his perfect expectations ? intjs are really uncaring until they decide they want to be caring. it will always be on their term and they often will ignore what you want. i hope your relationship isnt like this
8:31 - This is me too lol. When I get into a state of flow, while doing my work, I can work for many hours and forget to eat. Then at the end of the day I say to myself "why do I feel so crappy right now".... "Oooo, it's because I haven't eaten today lol"
3:20 - LOL, I do the pacing back and forth thing too. My cousin used to do it too. I think this might be a male thing and not so much an INTJ thing. I can't think of any women that pace back and forth while thinking. Can you? Maybe i'm wrong idk 🤷🏾♂
Thank you so much for sharing! ❤🤗 The video is extremely insightful and helpful, since there isn't much information shared by ISTPs themselves - especially on topics, which may seem to make them look vulnerable. You are an amazing human being - have a great time with the family! :)
Being an INTJ, I sooo get the systems and organization part.....My whole life is a nested set of efficient routines....so much so I can't see ever allowing a woman(chaos) into my inner world ever again.
Why the hell my husband who claimed to be an INTJ not organized at all. Making the same mistakes again and again. I highly doubt that he mistyped himself
Are you sure he's not an ISTJ? That super organised part at the beginning sounds much more like Si, and those rigid structures would be very unusual for an INTJ.
The sock system and bills system are an effort to reduce chaos. He has learned that if he doesn't focus on them they will produce chaos. He doesnt have a system for lunch and forgets to EAT. If he didn't systematize socks he might not have any clean ones. As for taking action, a lot of the time he can draw answers and plans out of the sky intuitively. They match the prior pattern, in broad strokes, so just use that plan. The details will require modifications, and he might not see those coming. As for the wild plans, eventually he should learn to subject his own plans to verification. "Does it work?" Is a good test. This is something that is developed with experience at implementing plans.
Number two really spoke to me. I make time for the ones who matter. I respect both your time and mine. To know if an ISTP likes you, they'll be there. That said, I'm rather curt and forward because of it. I'd add that respect comes before trust, and trust comes before affection. Not sure if it's an ISTP thing or a normal thing. Time is the most valuable resource.
Number two really spoke to me. I make time for the ones who matter. I respect both your time and mine. To know if an ISTP likes you, they'll be there. That said, I'm rather curt and forward because of it. I'd add that respect comes before trust, and trust comes before affection. Not sure if it's an ISTP thing or a normal thing. Time is the most valuable resource.
Do we think that INTJs are more likely to be autistic? My boyfriend is an INTJ, very much everything you've said, and he thinks he has high functioning autism, but he doesn't see the point in getting assessed 😊
Lol my wife and I laugh at most of this because I do a lot of it with some differences. The pacing thing is anytime I am thinking or talking on the phone. Good stuff, thank you for this video as I think it is important to learn about how we are wired so we can better interact in a positive and respectful way. The more people speak on the observations they have of the personality type the better we can grow. For me I started with the basics but am learning that even as INTJ's we are not all the same and there are differences. This helps me to personally understand what I am doing and how I am seen by others and explore why I react as I do. I can then explore my current methods and determine the most efficient course of action to produce the best possible outcome. Keep up the good work!
Great video thanks -- as an ISTP myself I too struggle with commitment lol Seeing marriage as another type of freedom is an interesting way of seeing it though so thanks
I’ve been told that if a plane went down on a remote island and I was there, everyone would be ok till rescue came because I would build a shelter out of anything and everything, make a fire, trap animals for food and build an evaporator to make drinking water.
Comparing apples to apples im an istp man and I resonate with all that you explained. The part about not be able to speak when something really touches my heart, I have to get up and leave the room. The emotion is so intense my eyes fill right up.
Oh my goodness!!! I totally relate to the differences of expression between thoughts and feelings. It’s so easy to express thoughts but feelings come out in uncomfortable gushes. Thank you for sharing.
Long Covid made me introvert. Because I started to take my own sarcasm (and that of partners) more serious. I might have also taken the sarcasm of one or an other more serious. Never the less, I became uncomfortable. It became a maturaty thing for me. Like "taking things of my mind and in front of my ayes" before saying or connecting with stuff I was unable to manage. Using "the in front of the door" technique to take my mind off "not disciplied in yet" stuff. Consepts I picked up from productivity content called "Getting Things Done" (along the way). May you or your partner relate to reasoning allong "store refferance material out of sight". "Only than can your mind let go of it's incignificant meaning in your head". "Using a system you will (without fail) look". "As much as you must and not as much as you fear that you might". I don't know if you want to know everything about the creapy part of my story. Why I want to order, plan and organize? A needed to fact-check and record everything and be ready for (someone alse) "high efficiantcy" . Being self-aware as I am, you might want to read more technical explenation. Others don't. Because sharing good or bad news - yet openly sarcastic and biting - is a timing thing to preserve (agape) pease of mind. Sensative to moving, not breaking paterns. Remember you want to solve, not win. By friends. Thank you for reading. I liked your video.
Wow, if I could ever inherit some sisters like this, I'd be set. What a great mix. I have sisters and care about them of course, but are more the gossipy/drama/even back-stabbing types. I make the most of it, but you guys are badasses. -infj
My INFJ husband recently linked me to one of your videos--to which my response was "who's an ISTP?" He replies, "You are!" I say, "!No, I'm ISTJ..." Turns out my intuitive husband was right. My whole ISTJ delusion was a lie (that's how I realized I was NOT an ISTJ) Your videos might as well be analyzing my own brain--and for that I say "thank you!" It's nice to better understand my habits, vices, and preferences. (I also have many crafty pursuits including pyrography--and I play flute). Your approach to dating your *now*husband was very similar to us. We both had come out of college-era relationships knowing what we did and did not want. We both fully desired honesty, open communication, and to set clear expectations. Mutual friends introduced us, and thus we had a large community to vouch for our characters. Until our wedding day, our relationship was completely long distance while we were each in our respective grad programs. After 2 months of intentional communication we officially started dating during our first visit together during Thanksgiving Break. We got engaged during Christmas break because it just made sense--we each knew that life would be much better going through it together (the proposal wasn't planned, there was no ring, but he still got down on a knee). I saw him twice more over the spring semester, then we married in June during my week-long semester break (the only practical time). We've been married over 16 years now. There is so much freedom where there is love :) I also love that he continues to want to know me and to help me know myself--and that he sends me RU-vid video links (like this link to your channel). So, thanks for opening yourself up to the world--by doing so you help others (like myself) feel seen as well. <3
Funny fact: I too have a system to determine if getting involved with someone is a good idea! 😂 Therefore, I have been in very few relationships throughout life. The thing is, I see a few points that align a lot with your system, buy I devide it in three fields only, being: 1) Attraction - this is not someone you want to be friends with, you must desire this person for real! You must like what you see, but as you said, it has nothing to do with creating an unrealistic idea of the perfect person and so you should deny anyone that is different of it, NO! Allow yourself to experiment a little, but sure, you must like what you see and you must like what you hear. 2) Culture - this one involves both religion and politics, it also englobes values, but it extends to the consumption of entertainment and, of course, the intellectual side. You're going to spend a lot of time with this person, you must share a bases of content, to have things to talk about, and this content reveals alignment on the long therm, considering a family with kids, for example, and growing old together. 3) Chemistry - this one is a little hard to explain. Some people call "chemistry" the liking of ones presence because the talking is fluid and it feels good and so it develops to kissing and touching, but I see this one more linked to "touching rithm". I, myself, have a hard time with touching people physically. I don't feel good hugging too much or hugging all sorts of people, so if I'm getting involved with somebody, romantically, I should feel comfortable with touching this person: holding hands, hugging, kissing, and so on. It comes to happen that people have a different intensity to the act of touching, to me it's what I call the "rithm", like the strength of pressure, the area of contact, positioning, time development... Do you understand?! It drives my cognition and I feel physically linked to somebody, but if there's no chemistry, the whole thing feels weird.
The organisation isn't really INTJ, i mean they can be organised when they have goals but more of the ''mundane'' tasks are often forgotten about by INTJ's, because they really are an Se thing. Another is the ''backed up by hard fact'' this is again an Se thing. As an INTJ, Ni being dominant, he should love, or naturally talk about abstract concepts and theories and focus on whats possible rather than what is. They also don't like jumping into the thick of things. Are you sure your husband is an INTJ? Honestly from what i've heard your husband could be an ISTJ, or maybe even an ENTJ.
This is accurate.. I relate to all of these characteristics.. when you said that your husband paces when he is lost in thought, I do as well.. I live alone and have noticed that I will pace throughout my house while talking out loud to myself .. I also have been told that I have mastered sarcasm because it is hard to distinguish between when Im being sarcastic and sincere.. Organization is efficiency BTW! In all honesty I appreciate this video because it gives me hope that someone out there can tolerate me lol..
I wanted to be Thomas Eidison, or Tesla, or an archeologist. And, that is how I cook. I mean, I read recipes for entertainment or to cull needed info out of (like the temeprature to cook something I haven't cooked in a while) but I have only followed one all the way, in my life. Well, I think I followed it all the way, but if so it's because I used a substitution they specified. Anyway ... mostly, I buy what sounds like likely spices, and I do thing. And, that's why, irght now, I have a torn belll pepper and musthroom oven baked spaghetti dish (as leftovers) in my fridge. Oh, which was sauced with frehs cilantro salsa. that had fermented slightly due to misinformation about how it needed to be stored. It's amazing!
