why are you talking about kinks and bdsm like that? It is impossible to know such things. Why do you judge consensual behaviours from a slave or a submissive person in sex?
I live in another world out of this. There is not a gay community. If i try to form a group I only find homophobic religious group or trans inclusive femminist to fight with, and they are not even gay. I can't organize nothing.
I agree with much of what you are saying. I’m a 61yr old gay man. My partner and I where together for 30yrs. He died three years ago so now I’m alone for the first time in many years. The gay community is really a difficult place to navigate. Good people are out there and I hope you find them eventually. I live in texas unfortunately. There is a “gay pride” organization not too far from me. I reached out to them after my partner died. The guy I spoke to on the phone was very nice. However, when I dropped by there location the guy I spoke to was not there. There were two people there a young man and a female. They were pleasant enough, but when the man went out of the room the female leaned over and told me they were mostly for the youth. I didn’t think much about it at the time. Later when I got home I thought it was offensive. I didn’t realize you stopped being gay after a certain age. Anyway, I left a poor review on their site. Nobody contacted me to see what happened. Nobody contacted me to say that should not have happened. It just reinforced to me that older gay people are not wanted there. I looked at the reviews again and they had removed mine. All the other reviews are just good ones. Such as life.
This is the first time I have watched your video. Do you usually move your hands and arms so much when you speak? Or are you nervous? By the way, I am not trying to be mean; I am just curious.
Some good points are made about abuse and drug usage in the nightlife, but the way you turn this into a vilification of the gay community (cf. "the truth the gay community don't want you to know" as if these bozos were hiding anything scheming in the shadows) and the lack of reflection on the statistical significance of these phenomenons make your points false or at least useless.
I'm a gay man who doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't sleep around. To make even a friendly connection with the gays is so difficult. I used to be able to get by somewhat on my looks/athleticism and knew that it would only happen while I was still in my 20s. Now that I'm in my 40s, it's insanely hard.
After your story, I've just hit the subscribe button. Fortunately, I haven't lived such a horrible experience but from this, I can see a moral of your story: It doesn't matter how tall, muscled, trained in fighting you are, we are all vulnerable to being raped. One sip, and bam. Even worse, they targeted your drink in a bottle that you carried, which is VERY scary. It doesn't matter if you went to a place for sex, if it's not consensual it is rape. It's NOT your fault. There was nothing you could do, it was so insidious that this could happen to anyone.
I believe I can connect with this. Im a 32 year old gay man. I started to get feelings for a guy in my early 20s, and we had a good thing going, and I thought he was going to be my boyfriend. I felt he had feelings for me but started to ignore me and not talk to me when a girl came into the picture. I blocked him in 2016 after he was playing games with me. Fast forward to 2017 and met another gay man. We had a good friendship going for 4 years and started to get deep feelings for him. I finally got a chance to meet him in 2021. After spending a day and half together, he started to distance himself from me. I wanted to talk to fix things with him, but that was no use. It woke me up to how much of a sociopathic person he was after thinking about what he's done over the course of our friendship. He emotionally used me for years and even went after my weight, telling me to eat more so thats mental abuse, but because i was new to romance, I didn't notice anything wrong at first. I got rid of him after about 5 months of terminal heartbreak. Today, i feel stronger, but i never lost my nature of being a good hearted person who can love anyone.
❤ wow.. I had the same experiences when i was using. Not only t but also mixed use... meph,g,t whatever it was. It's so affirming to hear you say that because I'm also sure you open a gate within yourself. I had stuff moving in my apartment, and coming down I could feel being grabbed by my arm from behind. And yeah, you can say that those are all mind games, but what does it matter when it's a reality to you. Just another indicator to drop it and focus on positives. 4 years sober 🎉 thank you so much for sharing this ❤️
Yes, the negative aspects of us gay males need to be addressed so kudos for that! However, when I listen to your videos I feel like there is something missing that would add emotional resonance and add credibility to your content. I would call that missing factor "self-responsibility". You come across with a heavy dose of finger-pointing and a somewhat victimish POV. You seem to want to convince me that your experience is typical of gay men but I think it's typical of the types of people you were willfully consorting with. Do you take full responsibility for the places you've chosen to live, the people you chose to be around, the places you chose to hang out in, and the drugs you chose to take when a younger gay man?? You seem quite intelligent so I assume you know that both alcohol and hard drugs are drama magnets. I keep hearing "bars" and "house parties" or "orgies" mentioned but I assume you were not forced by anyone to hang around the types of gay men attracted to such activities. Although I did experience some abuse in my 20s (both men were substance abusers, of course) I never was raped (and I was killer cute with a hot bubble butt!) nor encountered any of the twisted scenarios you relate in your videos and honey, I was OUT THERE. Is it possible you drew these kinds of people and scenarios to yourself by the choices you made to take hard drugs, hang in bars, and live in places known to be hostile towards gay men? It sometimes feels like you are blaming the "gay community" for your own choices. It is sooo much easier to blame others for our experiences than to take FULL responsibility for our own choices and role in what we experience in life. I wish you the best.
Well, I'd say thank you, but you need to deliver your constructive criticism in a constructive way lol but thank you anyway, I think you're correct ✅️ ya fuggin' @$$#%*/÷
I,m a gay man and have lived in a dew different olaces. San Francisco had lots of different groups but it was more difficult if you didn't fit in a easy to define group. Other places, chicago, deyroit, fort Lauderdale, this seemed less prevalent. I go to more low key nightlife places usually, and some gay men acted like I was slumming in my mid twenties. Never encountered white supremacists. I'm sure I met straight men. I beleive if your life is better, you generally do better in the community because you have options.
I’m a gay dude and I’ve had enough relationships to call it quits for awhile. I had one ex I fell so hard for before I realized he was a sociopath. It sucks man. It really changes you as a person to realize a lot of the “community” you thought you would end up being welcomed in is the same one that couldn’t care less about you. All my gay “friends” from the past only showed attention cus of my looks and in the end just talked shit about me and called me mentally ill because I didn’t agree with all the shit talk. (Tea) *
I’m the same as far as never really fitting in. I don’t seem to have the right “look.” My gay peers have been far more cruel than any straight interactions. So with growing up in a rural Midwest town , that says a lot. I do WISH we could get past this as a community.
I deeply sympathize. At first I told to myself that I have to share this video in my local gay social groups, and by the end of video I felt like there's is no point, why should I share it? It won't change anything, they will only at me as the enemy, miserable and lonely gay guy who suffer from internalized homophobia, the magic word for dismissing any criticism against gay. Fuck it. I'm not gonna change my world. If I can't fit in, I won't push myself using force. Let them do what they want.
I strongly feel like this type of stories is kind of some niche thing, but for those who sink down somewhere on these sands, it becomes the whole world fro them. I don't say that it's non-existant, and, oh, there're some crazy tormented gay people.
I've commented on this video alot but only because it pops up so much when I search about topics related to gay men. One thing I feel I need to add to is that personally I feel that gay men tend hide behind "I'm just human" as excuse not to grow. Similar to a Christian who says "were all sinners" then goes right back to sinning up a storm. Maybe even this is where it comes from. Regardless as I get older I'm getting more and tired of reasoning like this. I suppose this is just more conformation that we are not community and never have been which I am only starting to accept. It's probably gonna take me years, but to any young gay men who are looking for support out there, don't look for in the so called "gay community" you won't find it. In fact you might even find the extreme opposite of it. Be your own best friend because that might be all you ever get.
I'm a gay man too, and i guess that there might be a difference between gay culture in europe*(with differences country by country obv)* and America or between big cities and small cities, as i live in europe (north west italy) and i never experienced things extremes as yours (only heard of one that had a very jealous and controlling boyfriend), but at the same time I have to acknowledge that i also live in a region that has strong cultural values of sobriety, politeness and similar things, and also that I've lived in generally smaller cities compared to the usa metropolises.. But I still get what you're saying in regards of how much gay man are still man, the extreme focus on sex rather then sexuality (in the meaning of also love and affection), the extreme show of of judging and a sort of superiority complex, even without all the drugs and abuse that at least in europe** or my area looks like very rare, makes still the feeling that the community is not a place so welcoming nor happy to the point that often I don't feel like being part of it at least in the name.
It was very brave of you. I admire your resilience and courage to have braved so many odds. As gay men, I think we should be according prime importance to our health, our minds, and longevity. I know this sounds like I am craving for heteronormative approval and trying to live up to some good life ideal, but I think aspiring for a universal, humane and thriving gay community is what would make this world a different place for human beings like us who will continue to come to this world. Unfortunately, the vice spectrum of gay culture enjoys greater prominence, visibility, and patronage. Wishing you a great life.
I agree. Up until a few years ago, I would have pointed out that there is no such thing as *the* gay culture, and that there are a plethora of gay cultures, some good and some bad. This is true, but I no longer fixate on it. Matters have gotten to a point of no return. People who say "don't throw the baby out with the bathwater" never ever seem to object when the bathwater becomes so filthy it is killing the baby. I've seen this happen before, during the 1990s. It stank on ice. If we hadn't lucked out with a less fœcal Supreme Court and _Lawrence v. Texas,_ it would have all been over. It's happening again and must be shut down. If it means some people don't get to wear chaps and nothing else but a weight on their distended hairy nutsacks out on the street with children present and are thus denied the personal identity and expression they think is their birthright, tough titty. Go to a dungeon. I know plenty on two continents. Haven't you heard of closing the goddamn door?
I’m gay and 60, so y’all can only imagine. The entire scene is grotesque. My generation fought so hard to make sure that we all had rights, only to be tossed aside once we got too old. Gay men are only focused on money, drugs, eternal youth, and sex. I want no part of it.
🤴🏽👍🏽 I AM so sorry brother as to what happened to you. What is the problem is "Spiritual". THANK you for bringing this TO LIGHT! As you senior, I was sooooooooooooo happy to hear to say "homosexuality" Because this is the ORIENTATION. But "GAY" and "LESBIANISM" and "QUEER" culture is an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT ANIMAL WE nee to STOP Identifying ourselves as "St8t" "GAY". This contrubutes to the very Culture you are so EXCELLENTLY explained. I AM a devout Christian, but directly follow THE CHRIST [which is an Enlightened MIND] and NOT a "religion" which is ALSO "Evil" So the Way to REVERSE it is to DO EXACTLY what you are doing young man. But "sanctify" yourself [set apart] from what I have called for years "gaeity" Culture! It is a SPIRITUAL problem. As "homosexual youth" FLEES the Heterosexual abuses, they run HEAD LONG into the "other side" ABUSES. This is because BOTH are "Spiritually Deprived". It is NOT the sexual OREINTATION itself. Even GOD in SCRIPTURE does NOT condemn that. But for example. What you witnessed with the "Orgy" you found yourself in , and GOT OUT OF THERE [with it's Drugs and Free for all Intercourse) This and ONLY this is what GOD condemened in Romans 1:27. OUR BELOEVED FATHER was NOT condeming his Homosexual creation, just THIS particular "USAGE" of it that leads to SO MUCH HEART ACHE that in HIS LOVE for us HE want to SAVE us from. The Heterosexual Anal ORGY [MaleS (plural) with THIER FemaleS (plural) of ROmans 1:26 "expanded" to a Homosexual ORGY as well. THIS, young man is what YOU were about to be SNARED with and YOU ESCAPED! You called a freind and GOT YOU OTTA THERE 👍🏽 My GOD heart BROKE in me and my eyes weld up with tears when you shared how you were raped while you were asleep and noy ONE Gay man stopped to intervene on your behalf. When I was a young man [62 now], I was out on the streets os New York City in Manhattan in the days when Times Square was a Hot Bed for SEX. I went into one of the bathhouses and I met up with a young small blond white kid who wanted to give me oral as a tall 6'4" Black Man because he had always wanted to try it. So, being young myself (21), I saw the look of desire and signalling in his eyes, and without any other word from him, I asked him if he wanted to try it with me--he nodded sheepishly his head yes. So, I took him down in front of me and let him go down on me. While he was down there, He looked up at me and said softely "I don't like it". He was not angry, nor even looked like he was not enjoying it, but it was for MY sake. The look, however, was STILL in his eyes that he would be willing to continue and submit. I DID NOT ALLOW IT. I did NOT know if it would be because he had been abused and felt, Well, this is just how it is in life. I immediately took him under his arms and lifted him UP off the kneel he was in and told him, Don't you EVER do something you do NOT LIKE. He thought he had disappointed me, and said "but you are still hard" because I was still ERECT when I made him stop. I re-assured him, don't worry it will go down. So, he was so gentle and humble and kind, he really touched my heart EVENTHOUGH the setting was "Dark" and "liscentious" and everyone was having anonymous sex with anymous people they had cruised for in those bath houses that night (this was before Aids became known). So, I lifted him up, but myself back in, and we smiled at one another and I gave him a 6'4" Bronzed Man Hug. I practically enveloped him conpletely. He seemed to feel better, smiled and he went away. I will never forget him. If you do not "Fit In" IT IS A GOOD THING! We need to teach our Young Same-Gender Sexual Youth [especially our Males] that you DO NOT have to ID as "GAY" and proceed to accept "GAEITY" because you will have natural affiliation needs! This is a SNARE!!! "homosexual peoples" is fine and enough. This switch in terms will eventually "cancel" the negative culture. And I think it would help if we DROPPED all of this "come out" (like a deputant" girl thing and "Gay" thing and just "BE" same-gender sexual peoples! That is what we all are. We have THAT in common by "orientation". But ALL the OTHER ADD ONS is "clickish" by nature. And that is THE LAST THING a same-gender sexual person needs especially because we are REJECTED by our own families. SO we NEED to HELP each other understand that we must SET OURSELVES APART so that OTHERS of our orientation who fell the SAME as we do, do NOT think they have to either RUN the streets as "GAY" OR escape into a Religious Circles that will "Pray it Away"!! For me, young man, BOTH of these, on BOTH sides are Works of your SPIRITUAL ENEMY!!! Who wants to KILL, You and DESTROY you when you are rejected by families. He is there with OPEN ARMS to get many young men involved in a CULTURE of His creating to SNARE you from out of the frying pan (rejecting evil families) and into the FIRE! This is NOT Religion, this is CHRIST WISDOM who looks you in the eye and LOVES you as I did that Bond Kid that 80's night up on Times Square. He thought I would be ANGRY with him for not "finishing me" so to speek. But what he did NOT know, was I had been SAVED when I was only a child under 12. I was sowing my wild oats so to speek in New York on tha Hot Summers Night, but THE SPIRIT of GOD had NEVER LEFT ME! I was THERE in that bathhouse that night to SAVE him from doing something he CRAVED with a PASSION but if He did NOT learn to RULE over it would only HURT his Gentle Soul. My fellow "christians" would not have seen it that way. But JESUS THE CHRIST said "the Physician must be where the are wherever they happened to be because it is they who need the physician the most--NOT the church folks who are above it all, MUCH like you described the fallen Pridfeful "Gay" folks as well!!! So, please be strong and beautiful young man as you are, but PLEASE Realize, the problem is SPIRITUAL and may get WORSE before it gets better. Keep yourself SET APART from it all, because all of that LGBTQIA-Z "CULTURE" is NOT what it means to be a Beautiful Homosexual Man person. KEEP your Exhalted-Masculine Essence (blend it with your natural possitive feminine energy--not "girlish" type) and it will protect you and your soul (the seat of our happiness we seek so desperately) from that destruction you are being shown. NO PRIDE parades because PRIDE Abominations [whether Right OR Left] is at the root of THE PROBLEM!!! May GOD Bless You, for your INSIGHTFULNESS and please Keep it coming because that world NEEDS to hear as much TRUTH as possible. I KNOW you have MUCH more to say, so never let anyone SHAME you for bringing forth ALL of it as TRUTH SPIRIT [CHRIST] reveals it to you. 😇🔥😇
I live in a town with mostly straight people and cocaine use is endemic among young straight people too. Especially working class straight people. It used to be a drug associated with wealth and class but now it's mostly people who are poor and £50 for a few lines of coke shared between a friend group is cheaper than getting drunk. 🤷♂️ It makes me so sad that we live in a culture where life is so shit and pointless for most people that they need chemicals to feel good about themselves...
Don't fit in with any community really, I have experienced similar things myself, esp trying to connect and finding nothing worth connecting to, so you disconnect to protect yourself as you try & deal with your own issues including guilt shame - internalised homophobia.
Thank you for this. it made me learn that love is respecting others. be right and give love and not be a jerk. I did get out in christianity and they are not kind. I think I might just be myself and continue love others. Thank you for this wonderful vid.
woah gay friends like that are not real friends. Im gay, and I did feel you. I have no vice and im clean haha. I dont mock people and hurt them. I thought gay community is good. I will fight T-T. I want a gay community that is loving and have respect.
The truth is Men are biologically more into looks, looks and looks. To put it simple, gay that thought they are in certain level of league seek date above his league, meanwhile that guy he want seek another guy above his own league... I dont know did decade ago like in 1950's, gay dating just love in first sight and happy together ever after?
Well the 50s were a very different time. Getting married when young was the norm among straight people. Often times gay men will seek to emulate straight values depending on the era there living in. Right now the state of straight dating is at all time low and gay is not much better although the reasons are slightly different. Back then early monogamous commitment was the norm and so gays raised with these values strove to have a gay version of that for themselves. Men are visual. That was always known. They just never guessed how much the state of relationships as a whole would break down over the years. That's what's really caused the breakdown in the gay communites around America. Not the fact that men are visually stimulated.
Thank you for sharing all of this. I'm a senior lesbian and quite alarmed at the whole lgbtia+ community nonsense. I am not part of that community any more and have been wondering about the gay male scene. Happy to hear there are some reasonable gay guys out there. Things have changed a lot! I haven't been to a pride event in decades and will not be attending again. The lesbian scene has degenerated as well for a number of reasons. Again, thanks for sharing.
