i used to listening this back then when i was still in middle school just to feel something. now when i think about it, i really miss my old self and life
It's funny how I'm a couple of years out of my main MCR obsession era now, but sometimes these demo songs are the ones that call me back the most. Maybe it's just that I didn't listen to them on repeat as much as I did with the others, but I do think there's something about the rawness of them that keeps me coming back too.
this is a completely random thought, but getting hyperfocused on this specific song and reading The Cruel Prince series (by Holly Black) makes me think how it really fits the main couple
Curious this video was uploaded on my 15th birthday, 5 days before, I had finally met the person I would love for the next year, and we listened this song together before each followed our own ways. Sadly, I never had the chance to see her again. That day, this song became one of my favorites of all time, and it still is until this day. Every time I listen to the D chord it starts with, I remember that first kiss, that first look, and the fact that she was my first love. I got so damn angry when I found out I would never have the chance to see her again, ever. Now, it's just a memory, a lesson, and a reminder, both of the good I've done, and the bad too.
When I think of this song and dive deeper in what it meant, I thought it was about the an accident. . .like a motorcycle accident kinda thing, because of the opening line. It sets the scene about what's happening. Someone gets a call that the person they love in on the verge of dying and the ambulance people have arrived on the scene desperately trying to take them to the hospital and save them. But why are we all to blame and then it hit me, it's suicide. The person tried to kill themself and most cases such things are quite preventable. Not the rare cases where no one knows but when someone is reaching out and saying things like "I need help" no one really takes them seriously and eventually their coping skills grow smaller and more dangerous until they would kill themselves. The reason I'm saying this is because, I know someone. Much older than me and who's had a rough past. I'm a minor and can't support them economically but they have tried to reach out, ask for help; for therapy. But no one believes they need it. But I do, I understand stand what they are going through and always have been. Their entire life has been a series of unfortunate miserable events leading them to this very situation. All I can ever do is talk to them, make sure they are OK and hopefully be there for them. Be the person they can find some sort of solace. I can never be able to provide the treatment they deserve. All I can ever do is make sure they are OK, and watch them wither away, if they ever do die, this song is dedicated to them. We were all to blame
