Its been going on for 13 years in this marriage! I came across the word 'covert narcissist ' as I browsed through reading & terrifying as it was it perfectly described my life! But I have always been strong in my faith & believe in God this I did realise earlier on that something is terribly wrong with him only that I couldn't point it...I knew for certain that this isn't how a marriage works...anyone I shared with out there was like 'how can he do that? ' meanwhile I continued to go om my knees & cry to my God,I attend fellowship, I take great care of myself & exercise daily. But I continued to feel something isn't right. He decides everything alone,buys everything alone,am never to discuss anything with him or even think on my own which most of the time brings conflict because how now? Yet am a grown up who had a job, a career, I would make my own normal & proper decisions until I started living with him & he is so controlling & doesn't want me to question him on anything,raise any issue with him a he keeps on saying that am always complaining oh am so sensitive, he also doesn't want me to go work yet he controls all his cash- so mean & selfish inside the hoise the house but out there is the most generous individual you will ever meet! Yes its been hurting, confusing,lonely...what with no intimacy unless when he initiates it, has to be the way he wants it & to make it worse he would make sure its painful ! It used to make me feel so used & disrespected until i lost all interest. Then he lies so much & lies to his family that am always on the wrong & yet I do my best. But I thank God who knows all the truth & has brought me this far only by his grace. I continue to trust & pray to him to show me the way forward for life 🙏 .
Thank you for sharing your heart with the book, Debbie! I'm forever grateful for your insight and awareness on this topic, and thank you for accepting that invitation. THANK YOU!💙💙💙
Yall better than me I blocked my narcissist ex and his family from his child… I don’t hv the time but I was feeling bad about so I was trying to see what it’s like to coparent with one and after seeing this idk why all yall don’t block them seems like it’s worse for the child to allow that relationship to continue smh…
Hi Debbie. So serendipitous I came across this day.Had this very conversation with my son today eg: school. My middle grand daughter refuses absolutely to go to school. she is now 7 and cannot read or write. My son tried home schooling but this was constantly sabotaged. Anyhow, she just, JUST, said she'd go to a specific school so my son thought, great, let's jump on that. If she likes it great, if not, we'll deal with it then. The mother, who in this case is the covert malignant narcissict with extreme control issues has said 'no'. she wants her to go the 'the small school' where she (the mother has friends, works there, knows everyone intimately having slandered me and my son for 4 years). But my grand daughter doesn't want to and she can't seem to grasp just jumping on the potential that she's considered going at all, is insignificant. It's all about her. Not the kids. So thank you to everything you said because we experience it all. Men and grandparents are often overlooked or men especially treated with almost a smirking laughable humour. "I've never heard of a man who is in that position, why doesn't he leave". Like he's weak. But, apart from wanting to though challenging in the housing crisis in Australia, she makes life even worse. I'll stop there cos I'm going off on another cptsd tangent.
In respons to @elisaDianne, this was/is the same for my son. It goes both ways and he and I and the kids have been traumatised, slandered, smeared, etc. My poor grandchildren
my malignant covert/comunal ex labeled herself as a humanist, humanitarian, she has since removed the humanitarian label and i now understand part of the why, humanists "believe" that narcissists are redeamable, even when they acknowledge psycopaths and sociopaths are beyond redemption, so I imagine she views the rest of the humanist community as a support group or to justify her actions
I am experiencing this type of parenting alienation from my sister. My sister being the narcissist and using my child as a flying monkey between us. This is the point beware this can be someone apart from a spousal alienation. 😮😮😮
I just went through another narc abuser. Not a spouse or male friend… Yesterday, I asked God to speak to me somehow and a bee or wasp landed in a pine tree above where I was relaxing. I noticed it had 6 wings and was curled up and moving a lot! Suddenly a little wing from the bee floated toward me! The bee wiggled again and another wing floated to me! The bee/ wasp then flew around, landed and worked some more, then flew off carrying its old shell of its torso! Was this ever a message to me! Shed your old wings and old body and FLY FREE! Now that I’m 4 days free, I do feel all fresh and new, just like my little friend! I can now fly on new fresh wings into a new narc-free freedom!
Ooh❤.. I already do this.. and max it.. then re-live it when I need it..❤ Thank You for validating this bc I was actually scared it was wrong to do to get better🎉❤
I read your book and it showed me yet ANOTHER NARC WHOWAS DRIVING ME INSANE. This once “loving” person turned on me more and more THE more I succeeded! Very insane! THANK YOU FOR YOUR COVERT PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE NARC BOOK!
❤❤❤ hello Debbie Mezza it’s been so long since I’ve seen you guys and I really wanted to stop by on your channel and let you know how much I appreciate all of the information that was given to me back in that day and time when I was going through my acknowledgment of who and what was going on in my life❤❤❤ just means so much and I wanted to stop by your channel as well as a few others just to let you know just that so I appreciate you, Debbie wherever you are in the world thank you. Don’t never dim your light your golden.❤❤❤
My ex wife is a LSW who works with children. She is currently engaged to her clients dad. Sadly, mental health has many covert narcissists. I think they like the professional due to getting a new supply every hour. 😢 I'm glad you are making people aware of this. Thank you
Are you listening to this southwales police they'll use thère kids to damage your property they to lazy to get out bed and watch them play footballe in a field instead they ordered by the puppet master to kick the shit out of you what is one to do?
I was married to an evil Narcissist I haven't seen my only son in 3 years he turned my son against me got him to lie on me and say I threw a vase at him and went behind my back and took an order of protection for both of them had me falsely arrested pushed my elderly mom cause he knew that would trigger me. I had never been in trouble in my life tricked the system like he was innocent and made it look like I was a monster and he have custody of our son has me paying child support and won"t even allow me to see my son he brain washed my son so bad and told my son so many lies he acts like he doesn't have a mom it hurts me cause I know I was a good mom.I just married the wrong person now he took my son and moved away I don't know where they are we are divorced now.He took everything I owned he stole my apartment I had new furniture Ieverytime I went to my own apt they were arresting me so I left with the clothes on my back and had to start over from scratch Im still trying to recover from what iI lost So I had to give my situation to God and leave it alone.I pray everyday that God will open my sons eyes hes 14 now.
I just finished your book. And I've just subscribed to your channel here. You just nailed my husband, the 'humanitarian' robot. I cannot thank you enough for giving me hope again. I have hoped to die for years. Married for 23 and about to be single soon. Thank you.
I am so happy to hear you have hope again. And I'm so proud of you for being so brave. I know what that takes. You deserve to live a life you love and be with people you love you deeply. Thank you for sharing what you did with me. With love, Debbie
You are smart! very wow I am going through this period & wow it can be testing, especially for conditions of Ptsd but you know deep down inside, this is part of the healing Journey
I saw you on Dr. Cs channel. Im married to a covert narcissist now and have been for 11 years now. He's the covert Christian narcissist. Please pray for me and my children.
Eventually, the children will wake up.. Heal yourself and find peace within . Today and tomorrow and the whole weeks ahead are going to be beautiful. Nobody can destroy yourself worth... The narcissistic person will fall . They can't keep that mask up forever. People will see and they will be exposed. Your children will communicate soon just give it time.
With a covert narcissist it can just be how they look at you. Yes you trigger from all the previous techniques used to keep you mentally unbalanced. You have no rights. No voice. They don't care about you. It's all about control and using you for their needs. It's their way or the highway, I cannot adequately describe the interior shattering. Look at a box of puzzle pieces. All the shades, textures, unmatched, scattered, displaced cookie-cutter bits of a larger image. The image of your life. After the narcissist got hold of it.
My daughter attends dance school, she’s an amazing dancer. My covertly narc mother keeps saying “it’s not good for her to dance because she will not be able to have children in the future” 😳😂😂
Well then I guess I am blessed. Because he finally blocked me on everything and I haven't heard from him in 3 weeks. I also counter blocked him on everything so he can't contact me. 😂❤
Thank you very much for this ❤ i discovered your channel only recently and feel like you’re that caring listening friend who really empathies and understands … your voice and sharing is very calming. Thank u so much ❤
Reminds me of Psalm 23. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
My n mother did her best to alienate my father against us. She eventually drove him away. She bullied is, neglected us…the emotional abuse caused lasting problems well into our 30s. All of us have struggled with addictions, anxiety, no confidence, depression, physical health problems, you name it. She never owned what she did to our family. All of us were broken by her narcissism. Please fight tooth and nail for your children. Narcissism is insidious and evil.
Yes Inoticed early on, when i read books about kindness , empathy on my then toddler then , the narc would sabotage and encourage the kid to throw rocks on geese we see at the parks, or talk about food chain, hunting and just hurting animals , it bothers me so much, I fight him all the time for that infront of the kid. now at 5 I find myself drilling good characters on my son. My son gets it and practice it, he corrects his dad every time he hears unkind things the narc dad would say or think, honestly unbelievable to hear a 5 yr old tell a old narc to be kind or the golden rule. one reason I’m still not leaving. I know for a fact hell get 50/50 and will manage to turn my kid into a narcissist like himself and take him away from him. So leaving the nightmare to save my son. So for people who say just leave.. this is not reality for others.
In my experience of an acclaimed online course about somatic approach, there had been shared private information (distorted on the top) about me that had to be kept private due to the confidentiality obligation of therapist. These information had been been shared without my consent, publicly in front of many people and simultaneously recorded and being put in the platform of the The Brook Institute and subsequently sold. I had been publicly shamed in the live videos by Annie Brook. Annie Brook shared without my knowledge and without my consent some private information I might have been elaborating on in a private session with her that I paid for. She suddenly started to claim in the live videos publicly that I have apparently a mentally sick parent and this is why I am "CONFUSED" . Confused means less intelligent, possibly as well mentally sick. I wondered where Annie Brook had this statements from. Thus Annie Brook tried to shame me publicly with some distorted information that had the capacity to harm my reputation. Nobody likes to be shamed and told some lies about him in the public. These videos were recorded by Annie Brook and she must have been selling them to other people until today, more than one year. She has the videos available at her platform to anybody to see who has access to this platform. Despite me asking to put these videos down because of laws of private protection, it is assumed that she did not put them down. I asked Annie Brook to send a record of data she stores about me (she herself states this legal obligation of her in her website), but I had received no answer. Annie Brook seems not to need to follow the legal obligations. Further Annie Brook claimed about me in another video that when I am being bullied, it means that the bully wants to eliminate a weak person. As the animals naturally attack a weak member of the herd in order to make the herd healthier, so the bully does. Thus, in seeing this in this whole way, what Annie Brook wanted to claim about me publicly, is that this is proper to eliminate me. Eliminate like the animals do - which means to kill ? When I asked for repair, Annie Brook started to attacking me that "I am making this up " and that "I am projecting something" and " if I do not share her reality, I have nothing to do in The Brook Institute. Subsequently Annie Brook had removed my access to the platform I am still paying money for. I had pointed in an e-mail to Annie Brook some 20 points of misbehavior towards in those paid services. Annie Brook claimed that I am projecting it and it is a complete lie. Then Annie Brook went and changed her website and used my points, sometimes even literally my words. So her website suddenly showed that her therapists are actually not therapists, but coaches and are not registered nor licensed and are in fact just friends of Annie Brook. There showed up the information that Annie Brook helps folks with double binds and that she records the videos and that the purchaser has the right to ask her for personal records of data she stores about the person, the so called therapist who were hairdresser became a therapist within two weeks from my complaints. Her entire webpage had been rewritten. So, this is strange, when I was lying about the ethical misbehavior towards me, why did she made this effort to change her webpage so swiftly ? I have the impression that I had been chosen by Annie Brook like a animal to experiment on. She knew that I search a somatic approach, but she tried to implant some thoughts about me having some mental troubles/esp. apparently wanting to commit suicide/ in my head and she used all her stuff for it to do so. It is possibly not so often to get somebody so naiv, living in poor country far away from rich US, who has physical troubles and who has heard about somatic therapy, but never tried it before. It was probably very easy to lure me on the scholarship and force me to have sessions (paid by me) with her so called therapists (aka her friends as said her website later) and make the videos of me where she is showing me to to the others as an animal object, sharing many condescending information about me. Professional psychotherapeutic ethics does not say anything to Annie Brook, I suppose. She must know that I will have hard time to access the US legal forces from the place I live, with the money I have at my disposal and with physical disease. Good calculation. My first and only experience with somatic therapy had been very unsafe. All for my money I paid to Annie Brook. Thus as well, significant portion of money had been lured out of me by the fradulent representation of the work of Annie Brook.
