With all our intellectual smarts and education you would think that changing a belief would be easy. Except that if it were easy we would quickly change any thought without it showing up again, but that doesn’t happen. Yet sometimes a thought or belief does change quickly. Maybe some beliefs are easy to change and some others are harder. Why is that? What if there are certain techniques that work for some beliefs but don’t work for others? Could it be some beliefs are like nuts and bolts that are reverse threaded? Most come apart with a turn to the left, but certain beliefs need to be turned in a different direction to loosen? I’ve been intensely focused on changing beliefs for over 20 years. I first started with my own and then began to coach other people in changing their false beliefs. Here is an answer to these questions and summary of how to change a belief.
How can you change a belief in a way that will work?
The first step to changing a belief is to understand their construct and what makes us so attached to them.
Here are some typical beliefs that you might be motivated to change?
*They are so stupid. - A judgment that tends to create conflict.
*I’m not lovable. - A self judgment that creates feelings of unworthiness.
*He is such an idiot. - Can create anger, resentment, disappointment.
I hate/dislike/am unhappy with my body. - Unhappiness and shame.
I shouldn’t have done that. - Guilt, Embarrassment
The first thing you notice is that I’ve identified emotions that are often connected with these types of beliefs. Usually the idea, or thought, by itself doesn’t FEEL bad. It is when we have that thought as a belief that we have strong emotions. It is the emotions part that cause us the misery. A thought by itself is just a concept in the form of a sentence or statement that we can manipulate with our intellect. We can pick up an idea or drop it in a moment without any problem.
For example, we can have a thought about what we, or someone else is wearing and whether it looks good or not without having much emotion. But what if we walk into a business social event wearing jeans and find everyone else in business suits? The “thoughts” about what we are wearing now comes with heavy emotions. It is no longer a conceptual idea that we can easily drop or change with our intellect.
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4 окт 2024
