“He won’t marry me until I pay off my $15,000 credit card debt”

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Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to DJ and Adam, 37 and 33. They have been dating for 3 years but DJ’s debt stands in the way of their potential marriage, as dictated by Adam, who’s been divorced in the past due to money issues. DJ recently doubled her income - and she has all the tools - but she’s frozen, unaccountable, and losing time.
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Can’t-miss moments
00:00:00 - 1: Opening
00:03:42 - 2: DJ's had the credit card debt her "whole life"
00:06:33 - 3: How DJ recently doubled her income
00:11:08 - 4: Does Adam need DJ to be debt-free before getting married?
00:16:36 - 5: Ramit points out an uncomfortable truth
00:19:16 - 6: The surprising way DJ was raised with money
00:26:31 - 7: Adam has a major realization
00:28:58 - 8: How do you know if you can afford something?
00:41:28 - 9: Ramit: "You have no real consequences"
00:47:02 - 10: Ramit notices DJ knows a lot more about finances than she claims
00:53:03 - 11: Why can't they get married now?
00:57:11 - 12: How is DJ going to get this debt paid off?
01:01:46 - 13: Ramit finally lays down the law on credit cards
01:05:26 - 14: DJ is shocked to hear how quickly she can pay it off
01:09:09 - 15: Ramit: "Damn, that's a good answer"
01:10:54 - 16: DJ knows all this stuff. Why is she "playing dumb"?
01:15:26 - 17: Finally, a breakthrough!
01:20:15 - 18: Where are they now? DJ and Adam's follow-ups
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If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here: forms.gle/pjYMaLeThJM3z9uN6
Produced by Crate Media.

Опубликовано:

15 июл 2024

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Комментарии : 460

@ramitsethi Год назад

0:00 Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.

@thegrowthfamily6245 8 месяцев назад

@ramitsethi In the beginning you say to go on RU-vid to watch full video but i am on RU-vid where would I find the full version im confused lol

@coneil72 6 месяцев назад

@@thegrowthfamily6245 Haha he says that for people listening to the podcast. This is the full version.

@Hope-eo5sh 3 месяца назад

I would love to come on your show

@el-hp1lj Год назад

I don't blame adam for not wanting to go ahead and get married until she figures out her financials. He's a smart guy for that.

@BoundlessEyes Год назад

I'm an hour in and Matt needs to run for his own financial wellbeing.

@tylernol1566 Год назад

@@BoundlessEyes There was a point in the episode that I "heard" the thought, "leave this woman" but of course it wasn't uttered. The kind of thought you hear when you know what word somebody is trying to say and you offer it up.

@mangomadnnesss Год назад

Prenups are there for a reason, he doesn’t want to marry her because he doesn’t want to get married. He is making it seem like its a her problem that they cant get married. When she does fix this, he will find some other thing she has to fix that she wont be able to fix before they can get married.

@jumper9108 Год назад

She doesn’t look like the lady who would sign a prenup… he probably offered it to her and she said no chance lol.

@deirdrekiely6187 Год назад

@Mango Madness Prenup is good advice. But I think it's deeper than that. Financial stress is a major reason for divorce. Even with a prenup this guy probably doesn't want to deal with the headache of dealing with her habits. It's very telling that he said he doesn't nag her because it's her money now, not their money. I don't blame him for not wanting to get married yet.

@ThebookishSAHM Год назад

I think the people that go on this podcast are so brave. They are willing to face their mistakes and work on them. Every episode so far has been eye opening and inspiring to me. Keep up the good work

@DrBrittneyEllers Год назад

“I don’t know how” 🤷🏽‍♀️ is, in other words, weaponized incompetence. I totally understand why she does it and am excited to hear Ramit helping her get to the root of why she uses it as an excuse. Happy for her realizations because she actually DOES know! Or at least knows how to use her other skills to be able to get answers

@vulpixelful Год назад

Yeah she talked like an alien was stealing her credit cards every day. Hope she continues to get to the bottom of this

@Elizabeth-yx7nn Год назад

She's going to have a nasty shock about how fast the money in her checking account runs out when she stops using her cards. She has an impulse spending problem that she seems very unaware of.

@melaniegaldi6893 7 месяцев назад

@Erin-rg3dw Месяц назад

Impulse control and FOMO. She says she says 'no" to things, but I don't think it's as often as she should. Same with the outfits and shopping. She wants her cake and eat it too, without the work. I hope she can find a way to address that and find a healthier balance.

@sourdoughsavant22 Год назад

it's called weaponized incompetence. A lot of us are guilty of this

@AMMandrea123 Год назад

Oh wow, I had never heard that term before. Perfect description.

@Mrursi Год назад

the point shouldn't be her just paying 15k so she can get married; but to change in such a way that she wouldn't be in that position going forward. Otherwise, she will be soon in 100k of debt shortly after they are married. duh!

@penelopeaponte4563 Год назад

I really resonated with this because I had the same mentality as her for many years and I thought the same way about how do I get from A to Z when I’m already this way? But if you are determined enough you can and I’ve managed to pay off almost 30k in debt, have an emergency savings, and invest. It CAN happen!

@JulieCWilson Год назад

Yeah the “throwing spreadsheets at the problem” and not actually addressing the root of the problem and the beliefs really hit home for me in this episode.

@keyring86 Год назад

Congrats

@catherineshock5490 Год назад

I love that DJ stuck through this hard conversation. She's clearly incredibly smart and should have no issues once she becomes determined to make the changes. As Adam pointed out, sometimes you just need someone else to tell you the hard things and not your partner.

@FallingAsh Год назад

She has to want it.

@raheelakhtar7 Год назад

Def not money smart

@mariaking4950 9 месяцев назад

Can't agree that she's smart I'm afraid.

@TecnamTwin 7 месяцев назад

Smart? Buying a new outfit EVERY WEEKEND is not smart. That's downright stupid and completely unnecessary. She's out of control and shameless about it. No wonder he's said "No" so far. He understands that proper money management is critical to a marriage having experienced failure already and her access to his money would only mean she would recklessly continue to overspend.

@ethanjolly9732 6 месяцев назад

Using money to fill in a void to buy unnecessary stuff we don’t need is such an overlooked addiction. Especially living in such a materialistic society. I fall victim to it too, but being more aware and seeing therapy has helped.

@user-md6se6in1z 4 месяца назад

Agreed 👍

@samjoyus 20 дней назад

This is so true .

@laurianno7011 Год назад

Shout out to DJ's sister who is great with money and is living her rich life by spending 1000s of dollars on BTS' concerts. She is my hero.

@KatieManring 8 месяцев назад

I was hunting for this comment - as ARMY, DJ’s sister is my bias now. 💜

@venus3173 8 месяцев назад

lmfao she’s slaying fr

@AudreysBrains Месяц назад

This was the best part of the whole story 😂

@kathr3477 Год назад

There's a part about "victim mentality" in Ramit's book that rubbed me wrong when I first read it, until I realized that's me. I sympathize with DJ, there are so many things out there saying "it's not your fault, there are systemic forces, credit card companies are predatory" etc etc. And that is all very true - AND we've all got to dig ourselves out. I think it's easy to be hard on her, but I get it, she just needs a little tough self love.

@RShaun 29 дней назад

Same. People tell you your entire life there are traps, look out for them. And we go into the traps anyway and blame the trappers.

@pennyzianpei7733 Год назад

Ramit really helped DJ big time. This is honestly the hardest ep so far to listen to…. The way DJ acted oblivious to curve her responsibilities so hard was tough to watch . This is learned helplessness and invites sooo many problems in life. I hope she can step up for herself in the future 😢

@janebaker4912 Год назад

A new outfit every week!?!?!!! Shopping addiction? Like her father's addiction? Has she been enabled? Her sister wasn't

@old_ladyhustler727 Год назад

I think she just missed the whole part where her boyfriend said he's not in a rush to get married. And when she talked about her wants nothing on having a family.

@BrandonTalksFitness 8 месяцев назад

Yeah it seems like they are completely misaligned - It makes me question why they are together

@AishaBuycks 7 месяцев назад

I have definitely wondered why they are together.

@AmandaJYoungs Год назад

This is the best show. It is so revealing, and Ramit has this brilliant way of asking probing questions that throw light on things. Being able to see people's faces as it gradually dawns on them what they are doing wrong or what they need to do differently is the icing on the cake. It makes for a good listen even without pictures, but the visuals really complete the show and I look forward to every new episode.

@ramitsethi Год назад

Thank you!

@sct4040 Год назад

Maybe subconsciously she doesn’t really want to marry him.

@Ericdj15 5 месяцев назад

Facts

@mmarieritter216 Год назад

This was a tough one. DJ's story aligns with mine in many ways -- feeling very beaten down by years of low-wage work and having to supplement with credit just to feel like you can participate in life. It takes a lot of hard work to increase your income the way DJ did, way to go! Now it's just the other hard part of changing your mentality around money, locking yourself down for a few years to get the books right again. You can do it! And as a very practical tip; I didn't make meaningful progress on my high-interest credit cards until I transferred the balance to a fixed, low-interest personal loan. That shit saved my life. Everything is paid and my money feels like mine again -- wishing the same for you, DJ!

@healingfear Год назад

It was so beautiful how you helped her find the glitch in her logic about the credit card (points!?) and helped bring her learned helplessness up into her conscious view. Great episode, Ramit.

@jenlollygag6815 Год назад

Ramit's job is really hard. He has to do so much heavy lifting here 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂. He has so much patience.

@simba8276 Год назад

41:30 she’s me fr, fr. I haven’t had any major consequences. It doesn’t affect my life in a real way. I know exactly how that feels. This episode is hitting for me

@chrisveazey9498 Год назад

Me, too. I wanna tell DJ I'm the same.

@adamgriffith768 7 месяцев назад

You're lying to yourself about the consequences. Do you have your own home and car that are paid for? Are you at or above the average 401k account balance? Do you get to take at least one real vacation a year?

@TrizazirT Год назад

She's moving everything in the right direction! More income, plan to pay off the debt, and a supportive partner. I love this hard conversation and creating the framework to have the best life ever!

@HeatherLeBas Год назад

I can picture DJ getting through this, actually fairly quickly. If she can make a huge career leap like that, she can definitely apply the same perseverance, structure, and behaviors to finance. The credit card points I feel like are a connection to family history of gambling, which I find interesting. She actually might be able to use the small win approach to her advantage if she is wired this way. She mentioned putting a star on a calendar to keep track of wins, this could actually be that small psychological win that could help keep her motivated helping her leap into a new era.

@mygoodlife204 Год назад

Yes. It is the gambling! And Adam is not enabling her like her mom enabled the dad!

@Erin-rg3dw Месяц назад

Same. Lots of finance and life coaches recommend doing something visual, like a thermometer to track goals so you can see your progress.

@Erin-rg3dw Месяц назад

@@mygoodlife204 Sort of the opposite. Her mom didn't enable her dad because she tried to take the money from him before he could spend it, even though it didn't always work. Adam doesn't want to get in that situation.

@Billups7Iniesta8C7 Год назад

Credit card companies are thirsting at the mouth when they hear "I get a new outfit every week to go out" Like what?

@madameclark3453 10 месяцев назад

My best friend is a spender, I’ve known her for 40 years. This lady reminds me of her, she may never change. It’s about satisfying her needs first.

@betz6507 9 месяцев назад

Not needs -- wants. Humans are a bottomless pit of wants. We have few real needs

@withyoctopus 3 месяца назад

I have a friend like that! She's so lucky she has a rich family who made it possible for her to buy a house. I hope she'll be able to keep it up at least. She thinks that she doesn't spend a lot, but she has bags of unworn clothes in the attic, is on holiday several times a year and goes to restaurant on a regular basis. Her car is a name brand. She really thinks we have a comparable lifestyle but I'm so much more frugal. Everything's old, basic and second hand. Spending is only fun when it involves stocks.

@wilseph1 Год назад

Strong consideration for Adam to move on, considering he may be staring at divorce #2.

@Beebooopbeebeee 7 месяцев назад

I am addicted to this series. It really makes me think about my spending and how it affects my marriage.

@suzapalooza5388 Год назад

Wow- each episode is better than the last. Fascinating how Ramit can get to the basis of behavior. DJ- you are brave for airing your issues and it sounds like you are helping others also. Stay strong- it will make life so much easier and more enjoyable.

@TheJrobalex42 Год назад

@Ramit, this was the episode I didn’t want to watch but needed to see. DJ IS ME. I have been stuck trying to figure how to get unstuck with the exact same debt, same thinking, and inability to see the solution - ‘I don’t know’ is the modus I operate from when anything gets hard. I am so glad I suck through this uncomfortable (for me) to watch conversation between yourself and DJ. She was the mirror I needed to change some broken mindset programs I have had. I have already changed back to using my checking acct and am ok if this takes me 2 years to payoff. I can not thank you enough for doing what you do. ❤

@adamgriffith768 7 месяцев назад

Make sure to set the exact date you'll be debt free and make a plan!

@JustAGrl007 Год назад

I can relate so bad at 37:22 …. I am the sister. I still can’t understand how all of my siblings grew up in the same household for the most part and I’m the only one that has something. I also really hate being one of the higher earners for my family, even though I don’t even earn that much and get looked at as a cash bank.

@lmespinosa7320 5 месяцев назад

It's the same with me and my family. I feel like all my siblings are impulsive and bad with money and I'm the planner who always has some money in the bank, and then get asked for money 😭 worse is then when they can't pay me back, they feel guilty and don't want to talk to me. Oh well

@Beautybytracilei Год назад

The interesting thing is that she has taken on the role of her father. Her father was irresponsible with money and delegated the responsibility to her mother. Her mother even delegated the responsibility to her teenage sister at times. As much as she values her mother, who is “good” with money, she doesn’t really want to be like her, to be the one who figures it out when it comes to money. She says this doesn’t impact her really, but we all know it actually does. Even if you choose to ignore it, debt weighs on you and limits your opportunities and your autonomy. I hope she follows through on her plan and learns what it feels like to own your power as an individual before moving into a marriage.

@mangomadnnesss Год назад

I dont think it “weighs” on her really. Its almost like she thinks its her own money that she’s spending really.

@DeniseDesarden Год назад

This was such a relatable episode for me. I do what she does and was able to get to the bottom of WHY I do it. Great episode. Thank you for helping us.

@caroldolan1485 Год назад

A big bucket with a hole. Run. A scarcity complex? Troubling. She just wants to live with him and doesn’t want to marry him. Good time to escape.

@user-zm4rx2uq5r Год назад

I listened to this episode again and answered Ramit's questions and learned a lot about myself.

@josephgutierrez8430 Год назад

Bro she's seems nice, but it ain't worth it. Run!!!! Don't walk away. RUN!!!! The debt is a symptom of a larger problem. Anyone who is not willing to take responsibility for their actions and thoughts and problems, as an adult is not someone who is ready to start a life with. Your gut in not wanting to commit now is a strong sign. Listen to it. I was listening on Spotify but I felt compelled to come say this. RUN ADAM RUN!!!

@tinaanderson9952 2 месяца назад

Exactly

@PersonalFinanceDaily Год назад

It's so common for people to have this mentality around points card and the system is designed exactly for this. I am so glad for this couple that they're moving forward!

@isaiahayers1550 5 месяцев назад

It's crazy that people never do the math. I guess it's harder with points vs a cash back percentage. But still, getting back 2% on your purchases and being charged 20-30% in interest that compounds from not paying it off.

@JakeRaymanVideoProductions Год назад

If THIS is just a warm up to the incoming Netflix show, MAN, the show is going to be AWESOME! These are encouraging to watch! So many take-aways!

@parkmi-ra252 Год назад

calm, calm, calm. then ramit breaks at 4:09 already 😆. appreciate how these conversations go though in a very non-judgmental yet no-nonsense way.

@lalainenash2006 Год назад

I love this session. DJ is funny and honest while Adam is patient and level-headed. With DJ taking responsibility and accountability, to her problem, hopefully they will flourish their relationship for the better.

@matti900 Год назад

It always amaze me how much you dig deep into someone spending behaviour. Fascinating!

@MeiravSeifert Год назад

I feel like they missed drawing a parallel between DJ and her dad - living in the moment and burying ones head in the sand about spending and racking up bills is a lot like the gambler mentality

@catherineclaire7429 9 месяцев назад

They didn’t need to draw the parallel out loud because it’s obvious. Adam got it.

@curtisdavis8594 Год назад

Thank You for the show!! This great inside information... Thanks the guest for opening up about lives..

@AaronKimmel Год назад

Ramit is so great with these guests. I've been following Ramit's work since the barefoot edition of his book and am so in awe each time another great product comes out. The guests are so brave to come and share their stories. So many people I know would have ended these calls at the "I don't know!" point. I believe I'm good with money and I still pick up lessons from these podcasts that expose my habits with money as well as in other aspects of my life.

@andrewrobinson2565 Год назад

"Everybody who uses a debit card has credit card debt." My wife and I ONLY have debit cards...cheeky 😊.

@Anna-qz6xw Год назад

My husband and I ONLY use credit cards, pay them off every Friday, and cash out thousands in rewards every year. Say hi to Dave)

@magalimasson9472 Год назад

Ok that was amazing, the episodes are seriously getting better and better 👌 Thank you to all the amazing people willing to go on this show/Podcast, you are helping lots of people to learn ❤️

@jenheartbeawesome Год назад

Ramit you are awesome! This is all going back to her Dad's irresponsibility & her mom bailing him out & mommying him for years. She is living this codependent dynamic with her mom, her fiance & Ramit. Unskilled she decided to take full personal responsibility for her life she will stay stuck.

@LoraCorkhill-wm9pk Год назад

After hearing about her dad it helps me understand her so much better.

@Tracker5111 Год назад

DO NOT MARRY OR GET INVOLVED WITH AN ADULT CHILD!

@janebaker4912 Год назад

It looks like a dad and daughter 😬

@ladyrenaethomasjames 10 месяцев назад

I wish DJ took this seriously 🤦🏾‍♀️ She really wasted all of our time

@lowlowseesee 2 месяца назад

I loved it lol. It’s a lesson still

@shwaldman Год назад

Shaking my head at an hour 7 minutes because she just agreed to pay down her credit card at 2K per month, but she not admitting that she will still be spending all the other money in her checking account. It will take many more months than 9 months. She will lower that $2000 right away.

@georgina4874 Год назад

True. But, you could watch it in 1.5 speed or more.

@atio5491 Год назад

Knowing what to do and doing it are two different things especially when there are no consequences. Its easy to create a spreadsheet but to have the discipline not to buy that stuff or save money is the problem. It takes discipline to think you have access to 'free money' and you choose not to buy that shiny stuff

@carolday3381 4 месяца назад

Fascinating youtube channel,.. just had it pop up in my recommends and seeing that this channel operator is respectful; and kind to the people asking for help is wonderful. I can see tons of learning for me from this channel based on a glance at video titles from past videos. Very cool. Thanks. Subscribed.

@ramitsethi 4 месяца назад

Thank you for watching!

@TWEQDvideo Год назад

Watched the whole series - great stuff

@123meyca 5 месяцев назад

omg im 24 .. and im hitting my head against a wall watching this. How is it that people in their 30s+ don't have or at least WANT a savings? wow.

@guidedbybreath2702 4 месяца назад

Ramit’s work is literally dedicated to uncovering the why- this episode is no exception.

@withyoctopus 3 месяца назад

I still don't understand it. It's all about feelings. That's very vague and complicated. Her father gambles and therefore she spends? I don't get the connection. She wants "a rich life". And therefore wastes all the money she has. Doesn't make a lot of sense. He tries to explain but it doesn't become clear to me.

@judithbraun4854 19 дней назад

That was incredibly enlightening. Thank you for being so honest! I wish all of you the best in life ❤

@kimferzoco6755 Месяц назад

This conversation was very frustrating for me. I don’t understand why DJ talks about paying off debt as if it’s a mystery and out of her control.

@sussie9895 Год назад

Ramit you have the patience of a saint… I felt like I was banging my head against the wall with the number of dodges and “I don’t know”s she threw back.

@allyeee Год назад

This. I’ve never been more frustrated but I know its because she’s not ready to face the truth of why she does the things she does. She can’t go deep or get to the root because then she’ll have to face herself and clearly she can’t

@GregFitzgerald1 Год назад

awesome ep thank you and can’t wait for the netflix series!

@MarkusLaumann Год назад

That man needs to give her a timeframe to pay off this debt. Either she pays it off and they can get married for he moves on. If she cares about the relationship she'll figure it out.

@katie8325 Год назад

He has his own debt. Why is hers the priority?

@MarkusLaumann Год назад

@@katie8325 I never said his didn't matter. It's been a few weeks since I watched this but it seemed like he considered her refusal to pay down any debt to be a red flag. Not all debt is bad and I think he considered his to be reasonable. I also think he would be worried about what happens if they get married, she gets pregnant, then he can't afford to keep them afloat on one income. I could be wrong though. If you saw some thing different I'm open to hearing your take.

@acilirp Год назад

He's not in a rush to get married so deep down he may not want her to pay the debt so they don't get married.

@emmasarge4057 8 месяцев назад

Yes!

@elizabethreyes3599 10 месяцев назад

Just bought your book midway way through the episode!

@Esther-uo7fs Год назад

I don't think this is about money, I don't think Adam wants to marry her again. Period

@flygirl2447 5 месяцев назад

YES DJ.. Sometimes you need to shut down your life temporarily to reach a bigger goal. It’s called adulting. It takes sacrifice. It takes saying NO to lots of things you want to do that would give you instant gratification in order to instead do the thing that would get you closer to your big picture. It takes putting new habits and behaviors into place. Until you make the choice to stop living a lifestyle you can’t afford and instead to live and make choices with intention, you’ll be broke. And you probably won’t be married to your current guy, who has already learned this the hard way. Nothing changes if nothing changes.

@juditharsenault2131 7 месяцев назад

I only have debit card. I haven't had a credit card for about 20 years. You've got me really thinking about my relationship with money and what's important to me.

@Datcomgaming 10 месяцев назад

My ex was like DJ, a believer and Avoider. She never wanted to talk finances with me and overall it frusturated me because she thought that her money problems would just go away. Yet she refused to change her lifestyle and added more to her monthly bills and never thought about a savings or anything like that.

@lolitanolita9107 Год назад

The points are only if you use your credit card like an atm and you pay it in full every month. There are definitely consequences to her behavior... She just doesn't see the consequences... She is paying a debt infinity that never goes down.

@fsm12385 6 месяцев назад

Love the breakdowns

@debbykidd9813 8 месяцев назад

I love how the light bulb finally came on with DJ. After she pays off the credit cards, then she can use those points if she wants by charging and PAYING OFF every single month. She is much younger than me when I finally got it together. She will do great!

@olgacasillas7110 Год назад

I loved the show and watched it completely. I loved it.

@widerman2000 10 месяцев назад

I see the men here thinking about money in a practical, “black and white” way. Then when I watch her I see a beautiful, emotional, intelligent woman who has no self esteem, and no faith in herself. I don’t see how he can be the perfect match for her. He’s worried about money and protecting himself. She is obviously looking for love, security, and someone to be a friend. She needs to work on her self worth. She needs to trust herself, and celebrate that she is successful and capable. I believe once she changes her self view and treats herself with kindness - her habits with money will change.

@CherylWickham 3 месяца назад

Amen. She was making twice as much as him, is far better looking and seems pretty smart. She just needs some self confidence! Her debt is minor. Ramit spent so much time on it and let her boyfriend off scot free. Something tells me his finances are probably not perfect either.

@AlmaCastro-tx8of 2 месяца назад

She’s smiling like she’s so proud of it.

@jainthorne4136 9 месяцев назад

I always think it's interesting to see how childhood echos in our lives. I think her sister got her mother's lessons while she followed her father's gambling lessons. She lives in the now and believes she will win. Her mother lived in the future and saved for that day. Her sister gained that lesson. Interesting that two sisters in the same family learned different lessons from their childhoods.

@reynablanc5567 Год назад

If this couple gets married, DJ needs to fork over her paychecks and Adam can give her a prepaid card to limit her spending. Otherwise, I don't think they should marry. This is a tough one. I do wish them the best🙏

@coolguy32558 Год назад

I would look into a prenup - it also deals with debt, not just assets.

@coneil72 6 месяцев назад

Whew, the age gap between them is a huge elephant in the room. His perspective totally makes sense for someone later in life, especially post divorce. She's in a place where marriage means something different, means she's not supposed to be finished yet. As she says, she hasn't faced any accountability in her life. He's asking her to hurry and finish growing up. Best of luck to them.

@33Jenesis Год назад

I would never marry a person with impulse control issue. It is a time bomb.

@justsarah5085 Год назад

What a great episode! ❤

@rubired123 Год назад

47:00 this is so relatable to someone losing weight. They know they have to eat healthy and workout to lose weight. They’ve read a million books. But do they do it? Maybe not. They have the knowledge, but it’s an emotional problem.

@Artsysomeone 5 месяцев назад

I feel her on an emotional level. I would love to see her get out of debt

@annoravetz5908 Год назад

I went through this. You have to make a commitment to stop spending, and chunk off those bills. I wish I did this to my husband before we got married. I did it for him after we were married, and he took it for granted. Paid off the cards, paid off his car, student loans, and they all went back up. I was his money machine for 14 years, culminating in the divorce. With me, saving was my way to deal with a job I didn't like. I wanted to pay everything off so I could quit, but it was like an eternal treadmill with him. Always something unexpected to buy--for him. I bought something I liked, and he would have something negative about me spending the money. Gambling addiction is shameful for the people who suffer with it. I totally understand why she saved it for last.

@sct4040 8 месяцев назад

Whenever I find myself wanting to spend money on something I don’t need, but wanting the high of shopping, I have to go NO BUY for a months or longer. It’s an addiction.

@amandalau7023 Год назад

Ramit I really like your podcasts/ RU-vid videos now, I’ve been listening to them since the very beginning and for sure I learn a lot about the financial world. Congrats and please keep doing it. I’m also gotta say the amount of adds you’re adding to the e videos are very annoying. Less adds please.

@tienna-lynnnorman9397 3 месяца назад

Every time I watch these I just want to cry because I feel so sad when he talks and makes them bring up the realization that it is them!

@melaniegirard1980 5 месяцев назад

she saw her dad getting away with everything and still having placement and no debt. because her mom did it all... she is doing the same thing expecting the partner to do the same.

@mrs.rachelgerald1991 Год назад

Thank you for sharing.

@mithicash1444 11 месяцев назад

Does anybody else get a really bad feeling about that girl. Every time she spoke about her spending I had bella ringing in the back of my head telling me she tries to portray a wealthy lifestyle more than anything. She wants to spend money on getting her hair done and on new clothes whenever she wanta, but that has many levels to it that they don't talk about. Some hair stylist and clothes are extremely expensive. She also carriea 15k worth of CC debt on a 92k salary... That debt should be gone 6 months onto that new job. That is a very high income and the fact that she hasn't paid it off yet is a big red flag for me.

@mangomadnnesss Год назад

This conversation would’ve been way more productive if Ramit was talking to Adam and Adam told her. She obviously values him more than herself and is only trying to fix this for him. I hate that for her but I hope she realizes her value.

@cleaninglady9410 8 месяцев назад

DJ was a teacher? It amazes me that she couldn’t figure out that paying $2000 a month on her credit card didn’t solve her credit card problem because she kept charging more money every month! Duh!

@Mariposa77755 10 месяцев назад

I love this episode, really resonates. Thank you!

@pearlivory3483 Год назад

Crap. I’m seeing myself in this lady. I’ve come a long way but still lol. I got some work to do.

@RediscoverOwnSoulEssence 7 месяцев назад

I see so much of my logic in DJ and genuinely wondering how to her from where she is to a new path. This podcasts are gold!

@bellabobbybob3476 10 месяцев назад

I think Adam shouldn’t marry this girl even she paid off her debt. That debt will come back soon.

@tinachristine4573 8 месяцев назад

Sadly, that's her way of doing life, and she'll either get more credit cards or find other ways to get into debt.

@racquelholness169 5 месяцев назад

but he has debt too

@lindsay3995 Год назад

My last relationship would have gone so much smoother if I had realized how woefully insecure my debt made me feel at the time & if I’d come up with a plan…I didn’t even KNOW that was such a source of poor self-image. It never clicked until I had an emergency post-breakup that forced me to max out all of my credit cards and get serious about starting paying debt down. The relief and the weight that came off my shoulders was astounding and I hadn’t even been consciously aware that it was there. Different outlook now entirely.

@coneil72 6 месяцев назад

It's been 8 months since this was posted. I'd love to know how they're doing.

@melissamedina15 11 месяцев назад

Omg my jaw dropped when she said 90K literally doubled. That’s what I need

@letsalltakeawalk6906 5 месяцев назад

Can't help but think about DJ's "good with money" sister. I hope she's well. Having to hide the family money from her dad sounds super traumatic.

@marialittlefieldpradokurpu2061 8 месяцев назад

I ALWAYS told the children “I don’t know isn’t an answer” take responsibility! Was a way to put the conversation back on them. I used the winner vs. loser saying as consequence when they needed to step back and reflect on what they were saying or behaving

@jemmybarrera5615 Год назад

Thank you for this podcast! I know it was hard to see these flaws for some people but it was great to see a lot of myself in her and see a mirror in my own behaviors. This has been very helpful!

@darlenesousa8421 Год назад

She's her father. Someone will take care of her and it'll all magically work out

@kenny3269 Год назад

This comment is spot on. She dances around it but she wants to make lifestyle decisions and someone else will make it all work. Frustrating bc she knows the language of finance to a degree but then says “I don’t know.” She doesn’t want to face reality.

@killtorres Год назад

I love how pragmatic and confident Adam is, he stands his ground so matter of fact.

@jeromehenry4484 Год назад

Why? 90 minutes and Ramit never questions Adam's situation/finances, all attention is put on DJ's $15K debt. You really believe Adam doesn't have financial issues at $50k/year and divorced? What if he has car debt, student loan debt, etc.? Adam's definition of "money management" is off.

@tacosmargs58 Год назад

@@jeromehenry4484 Not everyone goes into debt from divorce.

@tacosmargs58 Год назад

TBH Adam should find a new girlfriend

@jeromehenry4484 Год назад

@@tacosmargs58 Correct, not everyone. However, Adam stated marital debts was the No. 1 factor that contributed to his divorce from his 1st wife. Divorce Judge had to assign division of debts & assets somehow (not always 50/50, it depends on state couple resides in). Adam also admitted he was not currently debt-free himself. My complaint is Ramit spent the entire 90 minutes solely focused on DJ's $15K credit cards, but gave a free pass to Adam. Also wondering about a 37YO man only making $50K and appears he has no plans to work towards increasing his personal income. Curious to know why you think Adam should drop DJ.

@tacosmargs58 Год назад

@@jeromehenry4484 ahh gotcha, I didn't hear him say that about his divorce. I think they're a mismatch. She seems very immature and honestly not the most intelligent person. But totally hear you on the other points, you're spot on with that.

@TRUEEEEET 9 месяцев назад

First time watching the channel. I truly appreciate the honest of this couple. I feel like the host isn't just a "money man" he sounds like a psychologist. And I feel that once you are married you become one. So both parties need to be whole. I too don't think they should get married until she get her debt under control.