He’s right. It is voluntary. Stop doing it and show him just how much you do and go to couples counseling. Don’t pick up after him. Don’t make him food. Don’t clean his dishes. Let him do his own stuff and don’t treat him like a baby, when he’s not. You have your own life. You have your own job. You have your own needs and if he can’t see that, even after counseling, then break up with him.
@@markwalker8868 when the fuck did I say he needed her? I said to stop doing everything for him, which she said is what she was doing. No man or women needs the other in their life.
ask for couples therapy. it's tempting to do something passive aggressive like stop working, but the experience i've gotten is that it only further damages the relationships. he needs a good talking to understand and empathize. if he says no to couples therapy, try to work it out. if he is unwilling to change his perspective and grow as a person and husband, leave him for his own good
He’s not a baby and by the sounds of it, she picks up after him, does his dishes, and what not. She shouldn’t treat him as a baby and pick up after him. What would happen if she has a family emergency and has to leave urgently? He’d be stuck. He needs to learn how to do these things without her help. So, maybe not stop everything but definitely stop doing every little thing(like picking up his plates, cups, putting things back in the right place, doing all his dishes, doing all the chores around the house, restocking food cabinets or bathroom items and definitely stop waiting hours to eat when he won’t. Waiting to eat dinner at 12am is ridiculous for everyone and is only going to harm her in the future)for him. Agree with the counsels coupling though.
couples counselling can't change your situation. Lifestyle wise they don't suit each other, he works late and doesn't contribute to the household. It could be worth it if he was a loving partner....but the lack of empathy and the incompatible habits is not worth the money to go to counselling. If there's no kids i don't see why OP needs to spend to spend time and resources to "fix" him when there are plenty of men out there capable of keeping up withe the 21st century.
Couple therapy. As much as he is cruel, there is also the possibility that he is just stressed and loses focus of empathy. She herself mentioned that he has no limits with his clients, that's tiring and emotionally painful.
Literally just don't do all of that then. Like, it's fine if a wife does the house chores if she wants to be stay-at-home. Same if the guy wants to be a househusband. But if you're both working then there's no reason why you should do all the housework, you are both just as busy
You like to service others. I’m like that too, leave him. Find someone who gives back as much as you do, you’ll be happier in the long run. He accepts everything you give then blames you for giving it when you want something given to you. Not even an exchange, you just wanna feel appreciated and loved and like what you do has meaning. You want your actions to be meaningful and he will always cheapen them and reduce them to a choice you made that he was not a part of when in reality he could’ve asked you to stop if he didn’t want the fruits of your labour
He isn’t wrong. You are making voluntary decisions to do those things. However, he is also seems very controlling and this seems like a codependent relationship or one with an avoidant/anxious attachment style. I would recommend couples counseling and/or divorce. And individual counseling for you so that you can heal from the abuse and leave if you need to.
I’m feeling a bit like the wife here. Not to the extent that i do everything in the house. We share household chores, but i’m feeling a little unappreciated lately. I pay for the majority of the bills as I earn more than double her salary, which I said I would do when we moved in together as it wasn’t fair to expect her to pay half. (I work 12 hour night shifts as the salary is £15k-£20k better than the same position but working dayshift hours.) We split it so we both have the same amount of expendable money after the bills and savings. I took her to a Turkish restaurant which was recommended to me by a colleague. We got there and she wouldn’t stop commenting that the restaurant was in an unsavoury part of town, despite enjoying the food more than I did. I took my GF to the zoo at the weekend which we both really enjoyed. I went to buy her favourite flowers as a surprise but they were out of season so I got very good silk replicas that were quite expensive and she turned her nose up at them and said she’d rather have no flowers than fake flowers. (They’ve been laying on the floor in the packaging for 2 days now) i was mowing the lawn when she got back from work. After an hour of gardening i needed to reseal the ensuit shower. She asked when i’d be down as she wanted to spend time together. When I came down she was just on her phone. We’re planning on buying a house this year/next year. I started to get excited as she started to show me houses she liked, then after a week of me showing her some i’d found she said I was talking about it too much and I didn’t talk about anything else. I’m by no means perfect, but everything I do is for her. I have lazy days where I just wanna sit and watch tv and do nothing as I’m exhausted. We don’t go out as much as we used to as we’re saving for a house. But every month or so i’ll take her out for dinner. I don’t know if i’m being too sensitive, but it’s started to feel like my efforts in the relationship are going unnoticed or being taken for granted.
Sounds like he has someone on the side if he claims it’s a “customer” calling at 3am - come on, how slow are some women? 😒 what you allow will continue. If you let him disrespect you and not appreciate you, it will only get worse because he sees that you’re willing to put up with anything. Have some self respect
I would stop doing things for him before I get sick and can't do things at all. Which op needs to show cause if she gets sick and stops.. her husband is just going to let off on her at the worst time. Being an a hole.
Wait your telling me he works 9-5 but comes home late at 12 am ???? What story are you making???? And Understand this ... men don't like doing jobs working late.. doing overtime to just get a sum of money to just get around for a living. The amount of pay considering the hard work is unappreciative, so the home the time with the wife is the only place where he can be himself and your telling me he has to change himself there too???
Agree... Like the audacity to him expecting to eat together when he comes home (probably meaning that she can eat something light and have main dinner with him) and him THAT "1" INCIDENT, where he was st3rving because of working 8hr+4hr(minimum for business), he ate before her. THE WEAK MAN HE IS🙄
You should uber eats so food and not get anything for him and when he comes home make sure your eat the food in front of him and don’t make telling him you didn’t feel like it and the when he gets mad tell him to make his own for or order something like you did, if you and him make a mess and he go’s to work only clean the mess that you made and not his so when he comes home tell him to clean his mess because you cleaned your and for him to start pulling his weight around the house and to stop putting on you. Very well plan👍
Divorce you and make you realize that a guy with a business, is a small price to pay for a little housework. Try having a guy with no job and you are still having to do everything. Good luck. Hopefully he finds someone who isn't a whiner.
