NTA. If you lied to her, then your would be. As I see it, it doesn't matter. Moreover, y'all decided that the hook up should take place after the full separation. You're so NTA
@@neverland4099 I mean, OP never stated to be straight nor being gay. Maybe he's bisexual? Or he was bi curious and tried it with a guy but didn't like it.
@@hotbread1004 If my partner had trauma like that then I would want to know even more so I didn't accidentally do anything to make it worse. You have to be honest in relationships. I am not saying you have to go into the minute details or anything but if you have any conversations about sex at all then your history will naturally come up.
@@hodalshammari well considering that she immediately outed him as "homosexual" (hes bi, she is victimizing herself by pretending that he lied to her and used her as a beard for almost two decades) to all of the people in their lives as soon as she found out, can you really blame him? he was 27 when they married, many people dont officially come out until much older, especially people from his generation who lived through the aids crisis. for obvious reasons.
@@nbkangel but it's not the 1980s anymore, everyone is more well informed and supportive and the people who aren't shouldnt be in his life anyway, he's seen the pride parades, months, and everything, and aside from all of that, if a person can't even be open with the person they're with, then they're not ready for a relationship. My point is although being with people from opposite sexes is common and normal, it's still something you should tell you're partner about, like " yea I've been with men before" "I've lived in Japan for a year when I was 10" "I was a vegan"
Not really, we don't know how his sexuality may have changed during that time. He may not have even felt it relevant since he loved and married her, doesn't necessarily mean he was hiding it
What you see he may never told her because look at the way. She’s reacting now telling everybody that he’s a homosexual. Maybe he knew that’s the way she reacts so he just always kept that to himself
based on her immediate reaction to "discovering" that information, he was absolutely right to not tell her. it doesnt effect her in literally any way, which is why she is lying to people about him being EXCLUSIVELY attracted to men, because only then would she be a victim of anything.
I would want to know if the man I married was bi sexual. YTA especially since you reached out to reconnect with him before yoi divorce was even final. A woman can not compete with your feelings for the opposite sex. Its dishonest.
there is no competition. they are divorcing. but if you mean in general (like a bisexual person only ever ends up with someone of the same sex) then you are just ignorant and biphobic.
If he hooked up with the guy before they were married and didn’t reconnect with the guy until after there was a mutual agreement on a separation and are waiting to hook up again until after the divorce is final then how the heck is that a midlife crisis?
When was it law to tell our partners about our past flings? So we just have to tell them all the nitty, gritty details before we have a relationship? Yeah, that's delusional and honestly no one needs that conversation.
Um...no. not her business. Having said that many men who are gay marry women in the hope it was just a phase because they don't act like a screaming queen. Then after a while they wake up and realize there are many different kinds of gay men. Honestly would you ever believe an MMA fighter or a Weightlifter were gay, but they are sometimes.
Yes you are, because if you get married, you should have told her the truth. It's that simple. She then would have had a right to decide if she wanted to continue before marriage. That's a big deal to most women in the entire world. Most of us do not want a man who has been intimate with another man. We have the right to know all the truth before marriage. You can try to spin a.modern world,but at the end of the day it all goes back to the bible and Jesus.
"the bible and Jesus" lmfao. Well, firstly not everyone is a Christian so that is completely irrelevant. Secondly, Jesus literally never said anything about homosexualism. maybe if you dont want to be anywhere near a bisexual man you should be more openly homophobic so he gets the memo before marrying you.
I understand that being bisexual doesn't excuse losing your virginity with someone other than your partner, as that's still considered cheating. Your partner likely wouldn't specifically question whether you're bisexual. Of course, marrying her and loving her are clear signs of being straight. If your feelings have changed as you've grown, it's your duty to let her know how you feel.
1: Nobody cheated 2: He is and could be bisexual while married to a woman. being bisexual would imply that he can be attracted to his female wife while also having an attraction to men. the divorce is because she is comfortable in her life and he still wants to go out and see the world before hes too old to do so.
@@aishwarya6192 they werent together when he lost his virginity. "what do you think losing your virginity is?" it literally has nothing to do with cheating. he lost his virginity to that guy before getting together with/marrying her. no one cheated. he is attracted to both men and women. his EX wife is a woman that he is attracted to. there is literally no simpler way to break this down.
The past is the past. You could be a closet gay man but it's NONE of her bissness anymore. Also as long as you didn't cheat on her with anyone else then it shouldn't matter. Why should she care who you loved your v-card to???
Honestly you didn't do anything wrong except for not talking to her about most women just want you to talk to them instead of keeping things from us, yes that's awkward but it's still a conversation you should have had with her if you did there would be a way bigger chance shes not going to be as upset Abt it or anything
