idk what i'm trying to say with this one. maybe: connecting with people gives me anxiety; not connecting with them makes me depressed af. i choose the latter because i prefer not to be high-strung and to sit at the dining table and feel my bones tremble at thought of an ongoing conversation on a messaging app. i'm usually enjoying the conversation 110%, but i still want to end it.
the ache from either choice could kill though. you reach out and you anticipate rejection; you close up and you reject others before they can reject you and mull over what could have been.
9 июн 2020
