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But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you. (John 14:26)
This book changed my life. I was cocky and arrogant in my younger years and I just had no idea. I cared too much about being right and outsmarting people. After I read this I started becoming successful in life. I can’t stress how important this book is for anyone to read. Good video!
My grandfather read that and he was an awsome man, he built a tailor business from scratch and made costumes for presidents of my country and such. My mother also read it and made it by supporting and educating me alone, by helsef, working on sales and being the first person/woman taking store windows designs to another level here in Ecuador. She won a few prizes and people from her work still miss her. As teacher she also has helped a few boys from the street to study, change their selfperception and seek for a better future. It's amazing.
I think one of the best thing's that Dale Carnegie taught us was that people like your grandfather and those who didn't have the advantage of higher education, where able to make an impact on this world by following one or more of the rules that Dale outlined. Even if they hadn't read his book, some people have the innate instinct to do what it takes to win friends and influence people.
I did a Dale Carnegie course in 1975 and the principles are as relevant today as it was then. It influenced my life and how I deal with people enormously for all these years.
I read this book when I was a teenager, now at 67 I read it again. To my surprise, I discovered that I apply many lessons that I learned 50 years ago, I had no idea how many principles stayed with me all my life, and helped me greatly.
Overall a solid book that can be applied in a lot of areas. One thing to keep in mind if people have not read this book: Carnegie was a very successful salesman and businessman in general. A lot of his ideas are heavily influenced by "climbing the corporate ladder" and establishing professional connections. Take the first idea for example: This is a great suggestion if you feel like having 500 superficial friends rather than 5 genuine friends. Quantity > Quality idea. If you have to force yourself become or "seem" interested in other people, is that still genuine interest? All the friends you make in those 2 months, will not last much longer than 2 months either. Over a longer period of time it becomes pretty transparent if a person is trying to befriend you by showing interest where there really is none. This idea, in my opinion, is a purely business solution for making "friends" to gain advantage of their friendship. Real friendships will have you automatically interested in the other person and there shouldn't be a need to summon the interest.
I find that using someones name is extremely powerful, the conversation with the individual is more deep and genuine, and you put a smile on the other persons face which is an amazing feeling.
I got to a specific Vietnamese restaurant because the owner remembers my name and ask my about my family! The food is decent but farm from where I currently live, but I go out of my way whenever I’m near his restaurant to stop by and get something. I see it’s really is important to build that connection with your customers and community now. I will practice more and make it become a new habit! Thank you Clark for the video
I generally dont like talking about myself because when I do, people dont really give a shit. Unless its a professional like therapist that I am paying.
Points I like:1- Better ways to correct kids so that they feel like we understand them and expect good things from them; 2- remember people's names and saying it back to them. Whenever I encounter a new name I immediately think of something that would remind me of them or someone else that I know that also has that name. 3- I also appreciated the idea of giving someone else the credit-self does not like that but it's a healthy character uplifting habit. Finally I think that it's a marvelous habit of saying something heartfelt and kind to someone else. Everyone wants to feel cared for. Thank you sir for uploading this video. I have already begun to use the suggestions posted here and have reaped positive rewards so soon afterwards.
I'm a huge Dale Carnegie fan, you really do a good job of bringing his expertise into what a lot of us are up to. It's no wonder Dale's book has stood the test of time.
Favourite point from being a manager and a supervisor is "give people a reputation to live up to" it molds them in the image you believe them to be through empowerment
it basically teashes you how to kiss other people asses. I've seen a lot of people who love it. And wathing them makes me puke.. and whenever they try to do the same shit to me I ignore them and believe me those people are not feeling my love.. It might work on dummies but not on me :]
@@badbud2330Bud yes really this book teaches us how to become a people pleaser and always try to make sure that people like you. Reading this book is like killing your own being for the sake of influencing others
"If you want to learn how to win friends, then why study this book? Why not study the techniques of one of the greatest winner of friends the world has ever known. Who is he? Well, you may very well see him tomorrow, walking down the street. & When you get within 10 feet of him; he will begin to wag his tail. If you get stop and pet him, then he will almost jump out of his skin to show you how much he likes you. Did you ever stop and think that the dog, the simple dog, is the greatest winner of friends that the world has ever know? Cows must give milk, chickens must lay eggs but the dog, the dog earns its living through giving us nothing more than honest and sincere appreciation". - Dale Carnegie "How to Win Friends and Influence People".
I teach high school freshmen and intend to use this book to help these young people learn how to better connect with others on a personal level. The digital age is robbing them of this ability and I'm looking for ways to help them overcome this hurdle. I think this will be a good start. Dale
The trouble with the first 2 points is, i don't want to manipulate people and end up with a bunch of "friends" who are narcissists that only care about talking about themselves :/ i can't remember where i heard this but the more i think about it, the more it seems to ring true. "people only wait for you to stop talking so they can talk about themselves" and once you notice it, there's no UN-noticing it.
MrPurplephrog I totally agree with u. But I guess it depends on circumstances. If the person is literally about your age then no, but if the person is younger or older it wouldn't hurt to get their point of view on things
Clark, this series of "10 Best Ideas" is awesome! :) And look! I have learnt some things from Dale Carnegie... I am calling you by your name, I made a sincerely appreciation and I am smiling here haha Best wishes from Brazil!
Manipulating people comes from self importance. What Dale Carnegie is teaching is about GENUINELY becoming in other people. Same applies to selling. Focus on the other person's needs first. Generally speaking, when we understand that life is about others, everything changes. Till then, life is a tough battle.
Isabel Menon Exactly! There is a very thin line. When you make it all about others they get the feeling you have nothing to offer and start getting complacent towards you after a while. It's really frustrating. It's a good relationship starter but doesn’t work long term in my experience.
One of the principles that had the most impact on me was, try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view. This principle made me put myself in the other person shoes and find a suitable situation to satisfy both of our wants.
The principles described in the book are great. I m sure one principal is enough to get someones attention. Some people might not like talking about themselves but u can use one of the other nine points in the book to get their attention, Every one is different.
*Become interested in other people "smile, introduce ur self, ask them to tell u about themselves'' *let the other person take the credit * talk about ur own mistakes or vulnerabilities, experiences before giving criticism *Dramatize ur ideas *talk in terms of the other persons interests ''all the best leaders read this book'' *get the other person saying ''YES'' immediately *Give honest and sincere authentic appretiation from the heart ''thank you FOR....'' *give the person a good reputation to live up to, as a leader * power of identity ''i am able" ''i am someone'' ''i am not the kind of person'' ''i am someone who gives' *say the persons name
I read the book and reviewing by watching this video, but gotta tell you, it’s easy to understand but so difficult to apply in real life. Then again, these are skills that you gotta build over time. Won’t happen overnight.
This video was really helpful and it could be even better. You said "dramatitize" a couple of times, which is not a word. However, "dramatize" is the word you are looking for.
I think what you were sharing was foot in the door when talking about the pet clipboard scenario 😊 Thanks for video Foot-in-the-door technique is a compliance tactic that aims at getting a person to agree to a large request by having him or her agree to a modest request first. This technique works by creating a connection between the person asking for a request and the person that is being asked
My grandfather recommended this book to me when I was a teenager. He really lived it, too. I read it when I was in my 20s. Your review has inspired me to read it again. I actually have it somewhere in my house. It may take a while to find it. Great job! I did have to smile at your 'dramatitize' though! I see you did get it right under the video in your text. Thanks for taking the time to write it all out.
I committed to putting step one into practice and its amazing how many draining people are out there just waiting for someone to ask something about themselves so they can spend an hour talking about themselves, like zombies.... My advice is learn how to confidently breakaway from a conversation before just going out being interested in others.
Nobody ever listens to me about this book. I read it in 2003 and it turned my life around. I could have ended up a criminal or a psycho if it hadn't been for this book. At the time, I was going through a break-up with my first love. I had never felt that level of sadness and rage. My teenage mind was overloaded with emotion and I was obsessed with her. I was flipping out on friends who had ties to her. I was fighting people over her and even stalked her twice. People were turning on me. I used this book and it made enemies into friends. I made tons of NEW friends. It opened my teenage eyes to concepts like being considerate, listening to others, seeing other people's perspectives, working with others, calling attention to people's mistakes indirectly so not to offend them, it really shows you how to play on people's own selfishness to gain what you desire. It is brilliant. The girl and I never got back together, but that's okay. She's a fat, heroin junkie slob with kids now. This book will put you in the "friend zone" with women. Read The Game by Neil Strauss for how to treat women. You have to treat them like they don't matter. You can't chase them and obey their every command or you lose value as a man. That's a whole other book. Forget that for now. I'm off topic. I tell people about this book, but it falls on deaf ears. I tried to tell my friend about the book and how much it had shaped me back in the day when we were younger. He insisted that it was just someone's perspective and shot it down completely. I just said, "Yeah, you're probably right," while in my head, I'm thinking, "You idiot, it taught me to use psychology on you and manipulate you hundreds of times." I stopped using it so prominently about ten years ago, but the things you will learn stick with you and will change your thought process. A lot of people thought I had "changed" because I wasn't acting the same way that the book taught me. They don't realize that I was trying super hard to be the way I was. They don't realize I used a book, even though I told them several times. I can't maintain that level of concentration. It's too much to do. I smoke too much weed to listen to someone go on and on and on and on. SHUT UP.
giving other people the credit of ideas is my best among the ideas. I've always wanted to take the credit but it always backfires on me. almost everybody wans credit but no one is willing to give it away. Good work thank you
Hi Clark, it's been 5 years you did this video and for me, it seems like just yesterday because these principles are about daily living. They resonate so strongly. Thank you.🙏.
Dear Clark, thank you for sharing and explaining each idea of the book. I really appreciate your determination to help people and positive attitude. Here are my favourite points which are not present in my behavior. I’m determined to work on them. I will share the results with you (people in the comment section). It’s gonna take time and I know that I am able to accomplish this task. 1. Give honest and sincere appreciation. I am a pretty genuine person and I say “thank you” every time, but I didn’t clarify why I thank the person. This is thing that I have to work on. 2. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to; 3. Get the other person saying - yes, yes! 4. Get the other person feel the idea is theirs. This is something that I struggle with. My ego sometimes takes control over me. I can change this. As an introvert character, I will point as one of my favourite tools in communications is - the smile and asking questions the other person (even if I am not interested in the topic we are talking about). I realized that this makes people feel good and keeps the conversation going. My biggest fear while interacting with people is not to make them feel that I’m talking to them only because I will want to get something from them. I am afraid of being thought as a sycophant. If you have any pieces of advice how I can overcome this fear, you will definitely change my life. Thank you in advance! If you have managed to read my comment thank you so much. I found your channel today and I can’t wait to watch all of your videos. :)
I make a point to always say a person's name, especially clerks and any name tag wearing person. Also to give something before you ask anything of someone. I also try not to oversell, but sell the value of having me on their team and they are a part of it. Like you said, those three things completely change a conversation and humanize both individuals as people, builds trust, relationships, and lots of referrals.
Number 8. Definitely, Shakespeare said it best, the eye sees not itself but by reflection. Always reflect back something positive and people will live up to that.
The last point about using people’s names. I must admit I don’t use names only with my family! Everyone else it’s like “hi! How’re ya doin?” Wracking my brain to remember something from the last time we met and asking about it or it ends up being a general discussion about the bloody weather! There are actually some people that I have spoken to several times and I don’t even know their names! And after I’ve spoken to them a few times I then feel bad cos I’ve never asked! And I feel as tho I should know! So yeah I guess the only thing I would add is that introductions r important too because when someone introduces themselves to me I always feel as though they want to be a friend and I automatically give my name too. I guess names r actually a really personal piece of information about urself and who u r so to share it with someone else brings u closer to them and allows them to do the same. Love it. Got the book, never have time to read so watching instead as I can multitask but I WILL make time to sit down and read it!
The yes,yes analogy is very similar to the foot on the door analogy in social psychology. Getting the other person to say yes to smaller things then they will say yes to something bigger
Thanks for this video. We don't have the time to read whole books so these videos are great. Knowledge is power. Greetings from Greece. Keep up the good work.
I have just finished my second reading of this classic- an ancient weatherbeaten Penguin paperback published in 1948 - inherited from my Dad. A life-changing book- I plan to give my brother a copy!
Great video! As I was watching this I got a text of someone I've been having trouble getting my point across and I applied one of the principles. It completely worked. It was something so simple as not using (but). It's funny because I also use their name a lot in the conversation at the beginning of each sentence, but I hadn't gotten to the point in the video yet. All the other principles I always apply and people are always asking why to I make so many friends so easily. I always show sincere interest in who they are first and you can win their respect. I've never read the book, but I will definitely be purchasing it. Clark, keep inspiring and learning 😊
I've been meaning to read the book for few years, but watching this video now, I realize that like you, I've also been applying most of these principles anyway. And yes, making friends isn't hard. :)
I love what you said about Big Idea #10. I remember when we first met at FHL, you did such a phenomenal saying my name. It made me feel great since you're a person that I admire and you took the effort to really get to know more about me and my name I love these book reviews!!!
This is nothing short of extraordinary. I recently stumbled upon similar material, and it was breathtaking. "The Art of Meaningful Relationships in the 21st Century" by Leo Flint
OMG😮 !!!! Yaaaaassss!!!! Hahaha I’m playing bro how the hell did that though even crossed your mind... all I was concentrating was on how to win friends and influence ppl... lol 😂
i like the idea that the best and only way to get someone to do anything is by making them want to do it. (speak in terms of the other persons interest)
Hey Clark! You really make your videos enjoyable and insightful by using real-life examples and telling stories. I’m 6:45 minutes in, and am already loving it. Way to go, man! Frode
It would be great if there is a book to win friends and socialise with them even though you dont like people and hangout with them..its so easy to make friends but I will read the book you mentioned when you get bored.
Hey clark , I really am very much desperate about best ideas from the book"The Little Book Of Retorts" and almost no one on the internet has till date made a video on this concept of retorts...So please I request u to go ahead & make a video on this book
I love BIG Idea #8 building the reputation for them to live up to. I'm going to share that with youth and our team. I'm excited to let you know how it goes
Thanks for great video. When you talk about people say yes, you can also try to understand them understand why thay say yes. If you deliver value you become better.
Clark, you are godsend. I don't like reading book but I know it has the wisdom. I love that you able to save me time and get me the key points from these type of books.
nice vid, I came here because I have found another of Dale Carnegies' 'tricks' of how to act when you do something wrong and found it can be quite effective !
Really great video Clark and you definitely covered the most important ideas in the book. By the way, I believe that the book you were talking about on the 6th idea (yes, yes: the principle falls under "commitment and consistency") was "Influence" by Robert Cialdini which is also another great book for anyone who is interested in learning more about the art of influence and ethical persuasion.
Great info Clark! The best point you made to me amongst them all was to say and remember a person's name. Every positive upward move I've made in my personal and business life came from first building a relationship by knowing and saying the person's name.
in theory and practice... (talking to myself here) .. it's great that I watched this..because it has great advice..along with good detailed explanation of that advice..but I never can get myself to -DO- it (or practice it)
Nacho Lopez lol way off dude, Ronaldo looks like a Barbie or like he has a fake face. You know what I mean? But I can see why you say that, it’s the hair style.
